The Prank That Wasn't

A Ranma 1/2 FanFiction
By
Sakura "S'ki da yo" Mansfield

Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Viz Video
(USA), and Shogakukan and Kitty (Japan). No compensation has been or will be
received for the composition of this work - it is for free entertainment
purposes only.

Author's Quips: I am playing somewhat fast and loose with Ranma canon, here,
so some events will be altered or out of sequence. This has been done to
maximize the situational humor where applicable. There is something of a
dramatic undercurrent that will expose itself as the work progresses. Enjoy.

C&C very welcome. Post to FFML or privately to dfroeder@gte.net.
Flames incinerated.

____________________

Part 2 - The Girl Can't Help It!
____________________


A snapshot of the Tendo home would find the inhabitants busy at various
things for various reasons. Tendo Kasumi, as was often the case, was in the
kitchen preparing for the next meal. Keeping her family well cared for was
the most important job in her life, for the moment, although as she chopped
vegetables other dreams skipped through her imagination. Tendo Nabiki was
also at one of her typical occupations - scaring contacts over the phone and
scaring up additional funds for the family. She also had hopes and dreams,
and they currently rode on the garishly dressed redhead lounging in the
tearoom.

Saotome Ranma rose from her kneeling position and opted to stretch out her
legs while resting her upper arm and elbow on the low table. She just
couldn't kneel comfortably in skin-tight black leather pants. She rubbed her
legs together causing the leather to creak and squawk. That very sound had
quickly driven out the two eldest members of the household, Saotome Genma
and Tendo Soun. The fierce battles over the shogi board had lost all
interest compared to events of the past hour. Their whereabouts were
unknown, but they were doubtless just out of sight awaiting the arrival of
the family physician and carefully warming up their scheming muscles if,
from their limited perspective, things went from bad to worse.

The remaining member of the Tendo clan, Akane, had collapsed just inside the
front door and was snoring water buffalo love songs. All that jogging and
she still can't take it! Ranma humphed and returned to reading one of
Nabiki's shojo manga. She hated the things, but she was trying to keep up
appearances. Ranma had stopped chasing Akane after about thirty laps through
the inside and around the outside of the house, but Akane had continued
running for about 10 more laps before finally rendering herself unconscious
from exhaustion.

Light but firm knocking at the front door ushered in the resumption of
festivities. "I'll get it!" Nabiki sang out, and Ranma thought she sounded
happier than she had in a while. Nabiki hung up the phone and rushed to the
door, hoping to keep Kasumi in the kitchen and out of sight of their caller.

Ranma heard the door slide open and two people try to talk over the screams
of a tortured walrus. She is the walrus... where the hell did that come
from? Ranma shook her head.

"Ranma?" Ranma looked up at Nabiki and smiled. "Ranma, I sent Tofu-sensei up
to my room. If you're ready?" Nabiki leaned down and whispered, "What are
you going to tell him?"

"Well, I can't fool him with a fake..."

Two middle-aged men burst in through the door to the yard and stood in ready
stances.

"Boy!" Genma put on his best "honor" face. "Tofu-sensei is waiting for you.
Don't even think of trying to skip out on this!"

Rising, she looked up at her father. "What is YOUR problem? Why wouldn't I
want to see Tofu-sensei? He's cute, in a goofy sort of way." The men
face-faulted, knocking heads on the way down, and at the kitchen stove
Kasumi caught herself wadding a sheet of aluminum foil with which she had
been about to cover a dish.

Ranma put her nose in the air and strode out of the tearoom.

Halfway up the staircase a rustling and a loud wooden squeak brought Ranma
to a halt. She turned and glared at the faces below.

"I'll thank you to stay downstairs!"

"BOY..."

"Don't BOY me! Can't a girl get a little privacy?" She spun and stalked to
the second floor, hips swinging from wall to banister.

Taking advantage of the momentary lull, Nabiki pushed through the men and
turned around where Ranma had stood. Hands on hips, she scowled. The men,
not really noticing, began to advance. Nabiki put her arms out.

"That's far enough!"

Soun and Genma looked at her, nonplussed, and resumed climbing.

"Do you REALLY want to push me!?" she threatened. Soun cowered at that while
Genma looked at his friend with some disgust. The Tendo Water Company began
service immediately, making a panda out of the elder Saotome.

"But daughter! The future of the school depends on..."

"...Ranma getting her examination, which she agreed to without fuss," Nabiki
finished for him.

[I don't like it, but she has a point.] Panda-chan turned his sign around.
[Besides, I'm hungry.] Soun nodded, and the meddlers retreated, Genma using
his alternate nose to stalk his elusive prey of choice: leftovers.

Ranma padded into Nabiki's room and closed the door. Tofu indicated the
chair and Ranma perched on it, crossing her legs demurely. She smiled at him
and nodded, opting not to speak. Tofu probed her skull for a minute then
stood back, frowning.

"Ranma, I..."

She silenced him with a glare and a finger to his lips. She winked and crept
to the door. With a confident "Kiya!" she jerked the door open to find...
nothing. She poked her head out and saw Nabiki smiling at the head of the
stairs. Ranma gave her a thumbs-up. She shut the door, returned to Tofu, and
motioned him to bend down.

"You CAN keep a secret, ne?" she whispered.

Tofu looked at her blankly but nodded.

"Here's the thing: I wasn't hit in the head. Nabiki and I are having some
fun getting back at Pops and everyone for everything, you know?"

Tofu said disapprovingly, "That's not very nice, Ranma."

She gave him a level glare. "If you'd been in my shoes all this time, would
you be so nice-nice?"

Tofu thought that over for a few seconds, and a shadow of a smile appeared.
"All right. You may have something, there."

"Great! Listen, just say I got a small knock or somethin' and that it'll go
away in a week or so. Please?"

"No, I won't do that. My profession depends on trust. What I can do is put
off an official diagnosis for the moment. Come to my office later, and I'll
tell you to your face that nothing is wrong. What YOU choose to tell others
is not my business. I still don't like it, but you've put me in a difficult
spot."

"Gomen nasai, Sensei." Ranma hung his head. Tofu Ono was one of the few
people Ranma felt truly deserved all the respect he could give. "I shouldn't
have asked you to do something dishonorable."

"Relax, Ranma." He smiled at the girl. "The idea has soaked in a little bit,
now, and I can see why you're doing this, even if I don't necessarily agree
with your method. But that's my opinion. I don't change sexes when I get
wet, so there you are."

"Arigato, Sensei." Ranma was relieved. "When do you want to see me?"

"Come to the clinic as soon as you can. You will probably have to wait, as
Saturdays are very busy for me. I really didn't have time to come here, but
it's impossible to communicate that through Tendo-san's bawling."

"You're telling me?" She moved to the door. "Shall we?"

They returned to the stairs in time to see Akane stagger out of view.
Nabiki, Soun, and Genma, now human and chewing and smacking noisily, stood
at the bottom. Soun was still watering everything in a five-foot radius.

"Well, Sensei?" Genma asked.

"Sensei wants to do the examination at his office," Ranma interrupted.

"Waaaah-haaah-haaah! The schools will never be joined!" Tendo-san was in
rare form.

For his part, Tofu was suddenly finding it difficult to keep a straight
face. The more he thought about it and the more he saw the family's
reactions, the funnier this whole charade became.

Ranma turned and cupped Tofu's cheek in her palm. "I'll be there shortly,
Tofu-seeenseeeiii." Tofu's and everyone's eyes widened. In the kitchen
Kasumi's eyebrow twitched and she snapped a saucer in two. "Oh, my!"

Ranma let her hand trail across Tofu's chest as she walked off to the
tearoom. The fathers were poleaxed and Nabiki was smirking, while Tofu's lip
quivered and his eyes began to water.

"I... I... I must get back to the clinic," he croaked. He bolted out the
door and almost broke down the gate exiting. Nabiki leaned her head out the
open door and heard Tofu in the next block.

"BWAAAHAHAHAHA!! HOO! HOO! BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
*CHOKE* *GAAAASP*... *THUNK*.

Nabiki grinned and shut the door.

____________________


Ranma sat in the waiting room of Tofu-sensei's clinic. She had changed into
a tight mid-thigh skirt and a flimsy halter-top. She had crossed one leg
over the other and was rocking the top leg furiously. Tired of waiting, she
glanced over at Nabiki and Akane and considered the two women that had
accompanied her to the clinic.

Nabiki had been a wonderful surprise. Ranma thought that she had been a
little unsettled when the gag started, but she quickly began to thoroughly
enjoy herself. For some odd reason, having Nabiki in his corner had given
Ranma an inordinate amount of courage for their little "project". Ranma felt
incredibly free to play her role to the hilt, and Nabiki was the barometer
with which Ranma measured his success. It was a pleasant change to smile
rather than cringe when he thought of Nabiki.

Akane had also been a surprise -- a disturbing one. Akane was still in full
zombie mode while she sat in the waiting room, and Ranma could not figure
out why Akane hadn't malleted him into the stratosphere ten seconds into the
play. It was like Akane had completely shut down... or shut Ranma out. Ranma
frowned to herself. The only reason she was here now was that Tendo-san had
insisted she accompany her fiance. She would have to talk to Nabiki about
Akane and soon. Ranma picked up a Cosmopolitan off the end table to take her
mind off Akane.

So this is the woman's bible, she thought. Or so Nabiki had told her. Ranma
paged through countless makeup advertisements, occasionally stopping to read
the first paragraph or two of an article. Blech! She stumbled across a photo
layout of new season swimwear and her eyes bulged. She ogled fishnet,
strings, thongs, and other pieces of clothing she could wad between two
fingers and a thumb. Looking at a particularly brief example, she nudged
Nabiki.

"Would you take a look at that."

Nabiki's eyebrows shot up and she gave Ranma an appraising stare. "Would you
WEAR that?"

"Uh... I don't know...." Ranma mused on the idea. "No, definitely not."

"Why not?"

"One heavy breeze and 'peek-a-boo'!"

Nabiki and Ranma giggled but suddenly stopped. They had noticed Akane
staring at them. Ranma saw a flash of some emotion in her eyes, but they
became empty again, perhaps more so than before. Ranma REALLY frowned at
that, but let it go when Nabiki squeezed Ranma's arm. The matter became moot
as the door to the examination room slid open and Tofu stuck his head out.

"Ranma-chan? I'll see you, now."

"Hai, sensei."

Ranma padded across the floor and entered. With a slight smile on her face,
Nabiki couldn't help but admire the way her partner in crime filled out her
clothes. Ack! WHAT am I THINKING!? She rubbed her eyes and hastily picked up
the discarded Cosmo to hide her blushing embarrassment in its pages.

Tofu closed the door to the examination room, and Ranma moved behind a
privacy screen to change. She flipped her skirt over the top of the
partition.

"Sooo..." Tofu began. "How's it going?"

"Well, not much has happened since you were at the house," she called from
behind the blind, "but I'm sure something will. You know MY life, sensei.
It's only a matter of time." Tofu laughed.

Chagrined, Ranma realized she had forgotten to put on a bra. Old habits die
hard. She shrugged and threw the halter-top to hang next to her skirt,
slipping the examination robe over her birthday suit plus panties. She
stepped out from behind the screen and walked to the table. She hopped on
and Tofu began.

Starting at her feet and moving up, he gently probed Ranma's pressure
points. He stopped for a moment at her thighs.

"Your legs are a little tight. Do a lot of running today?"

"HA! Yeah, you could say that." Ranma continued to snicker. "Not as much as
some, though."

Tofu smiled and adjusted his glasses. Ranma's oversized aura was the typical
brilliant yellow Tofu had come to expect - no problems there. He resumed
examining pressure points starting around her hips.

Ranma began to feel a little funny, but she let it go. Tofu moved on to her
sides and then her stomach, stopping to prod just below her ribcage. Ranma's
eyes began to unfocus slightly. Tofu abruptly moved to her lower back, and
Ranma shivered.

"Cold?"

"Errr, no." Pause. "I'm fine."

Tofu nodded and started massaging her stomach. Ranma's points were a little
off, and he was having trouble pinpointing the cause. Pleasant warmth spread
in a wave throughout Ranma's body and she gasped.

"Hurt?"

"N-N-No. I-I'm just g-g-great...."

Tofu gave her a measuring look but returned to his task. He had Ranma raise
her arms, and he felt along her sides. Satisfied, he traced back along her
ribcage and began to assess a few points at the base of her breasts.

A familiar tingle washed through Ranma's body and her joints weakened.
Woozy, her posture collapsed and she slumped forward with a moan, filling
Tofu's hands with her malleable flesh. Tofu went rigid and his glasses
fogged over.

"Oh! Ranma! Fancy meeting you here!"

He spun away and, jerking and spasming, walked towards Betty-chan. Halfway
there his glasses abruptly cleared and he wondered for a second how he had
gotten across the room. Then it all rushed back to him. He put on his best
doctor's face and turned to face his patient. Ranma had flopped back onto
the table and her chest was heaving. Tofu walked up.

"Ranma." Ranma lifted her head. "Why did you do that?"

A fierce blush spread over Ranma's quite visible body, and she quickly sat
up and gathered her robe about her.

"M'sorry, sensei," she said in a small voice. She huddled in on herself and
lowered her head. Tofu took pity on the girl and let the serious look drop
from his face.

"Ranma," he gently said. "Do you know what just happened?"

Without looking up Ranma shook her head.

"How much do you know about how your girl form's, ah, hmmm. How shall I put
this?" He paused and then brightened. "When you are male, you do know what
it feels like to be, um, aroused?"

Ranma looked up with obvious confusion.

"I see. What I mean is that you do understand what it means to be, ah, yes,
to be sexually excited as a male?"

Ranma nodded slowly if somewhat uncertainly. Two seconds later, the
implications hit him.

"AWWW! NO WAY! I'M NOT... I CAN'T BE THAT... I'M A GUUUY!!!" Ranma's mouth
continued to work with silent indignation.

"Ah, Ranma? I hate to say this, but look down. Do you see a guy?"

"Oh, man! This curse is ruining my life! I'm gettin' turned on by GUYS! Next
thing you know, I'LL be the one chasing Kuno... WHAT AM I SAYING!?!?" Ranma
shuddered.

"Now, Ranma. I doubt that, although you do seem to be extraordinarily
sensitive."

"Whadda ya mean by THAT!?"

"Errr, what I mean is that you are physically responding to just touch. It's
probably automatic, and the gender of the person touching you doesn't have
much to do with it, if my suspicions are correct."

"Wonnnnderful! Now I'm REALLY swinging both ways!"

"Calm down! I have an answer that should get rid of your worries."

Ranma quieted and nodded.

"For the most part, your thought patterns and mental reactions remain male
when you're in your cursed form, correct?"

Ranma nodded.

"I think the problem lies with your male mind and not your female body. Your
male mind is unprepared and inexperienced with the different sets of signals
your female form sends it under certain circumstances, especially in
situations dealing with sexual arousal. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

"No."

"Right. Oookaaay. Let's see. Um... your male mind hasn't learned to deal
with female body signals. That's why you're having difficulty with being
touched in certain places. Women know how to deal with those sensations and
how not to let it get the better of them, but you have no real experience so
it takes you over, after a fashion. Ne?" Tofu looked at Ranma hopefully.

Ranma nodded slowly with a thoughtful look on his face. "I think I
understand what you're gettin' at. So what do I do about it?"

"Well, I think it would be helpful to have someone, I mean a woman, that you
trust and has little difficulty being frank, explain what it means to be,
ah, touched in important places."

Ranma's eyes boggled at the suggestion, but Tofu seemed sincere. He wondered
who in the world would talk to him about this. After a moment's
consideration, the answer was obvious.

Ranma carefully closed her robe and went to the waiting room door. She
opened it and sang out, "Oh, Nabiki-channn. Would you come in for a minute,
please?"

Nabiki rose from behind her Cosmo to see a sparsely attired Ranma-chan
waving merrily at her. Two wizened old men in the room leaned hard to one
side trying to see around the door. They were promptly buried under a hail
of umbrellas and handbags from the several wizened old ladies also waiting
for the good doctor's gentle touch.

Nabiki looked at Akane then stuck her forefinger in the air. Ranma-chan
nodded and closed the door, while Nabiki moved around to look Akane in the
eyes.

"Will you be okay out here, Akane-chan?"

Akane nodded without really seeing her sister. Nabiki shook her head then
walked across to the examination room door. She looked back before opening
the door, but Akane was still staring at the wall.

After summoning Nabiki, Ranma sat back down on the examining table, and Tofu
set himself to continue.

"Now, Ranma. You know there are some important pressure points on the chest.
I really must examine them to complete your visit. Are you ready?"

"Hai," Ranma said nervously.

"Here we go." Tofu began at the base of the chest, again, and slowly moved
onto the fleshier part of the breast. The door to the waiting room opened,
and Tofu and Ranma turned to see Nabiki come in. She shut the door and
paused, observing the tableau. From her perspective it looked as though Tofu
were cupping Ranma's breasts. Nabiki quirked an eyebrow.

"Really, sensei. I thought brunettes were more your speed," she quipped.

Tofu dropped his hands and put his chin on his chest. "I'm never going to
get this done," he mumbled.

Nabiki sauntered over. "What can this humble person do for you gentlemen.
Oh! Sorry, Ranma." Ranma glowered and opened her mouth to retort.

Tofu stepped in. "Nabiki-san, Ranma needs someone to talk to him about
his..."

I'll get her, Ranma thought and butted in. "I need you to tell me, in
detail, how to get my jollies as a girl."

Nabiki face-faulted and moaned from the floor. Ranma howled while Nabiki's
knuckles cracked as her hands came out of a Takahashi. "Ranma," Nabiki
growled, "watch your back. My revenge will sweet and painful."

Ranma squirmed and Nabiki smirked. Tofu attempted to bring the situation
under control.

"In spite of the jokes," Tofu glared at Ranma, "this is a matter needing
attention. You have always struck me as a very frank person, Nabiki, and
Ranma is in need of an honest discussion on this matter. It is causing him
some difficulty."

"Why is it such a problem now?" Nabiki asked.

"Yeah! Good question," Ranma added.

"I think one reason is that Ranma is, at the moment, a girl by choice. The
hunt for hot water normally occupies his mind, but now, that distraction
isn't there. Second, the extreme excitement of executing his practical joke
has probably altered his hormonal balance. Finally, he has purposefully put
himself in sexually suggestive situations to pull off this prank to maximum
effect. The combination of these factors has likely predisposed him to
certain, ah, feelings in this body he usually doesn't have the mindset to
allow."

"Wow," Ranma said.

"You said it, Ranma-kun, er, -chan," Nabiki added.

"At any rate, Nabiki, if you would be so kind as to discuss this with Ranma,
you would put his and my mind at rest, I should think."

Nabiki gave Ranma a feral grin and said, "That's going to be one hell of a
photo shoot. Ne, Ranma-chan?" Ranma bigsweated.

"Now," Tofu said, "about those upper thoracic pressure points..."

----------

A young woman was stalking up the road to the clinic operated by the
esteemed Tofu Ono. Her long and puffy lavender locks billowed out behind her
in the breeze of her passage. She could easily have brought to mind a carved
image facing proudly forward on the prow of a sailing vessel of yore, danger
on the waves and adventure just over the next horizon. Sadly, Shampoo was
merely irritated that her "airen" hadn't bothered to visit for a couple of
days.

A hasty stop at the Tendo dojo had resulted in information from her airen's
worthless father that Ranma was at Tofu-sensei's for a checkup. Happy that
she knew where to find him, Shampoo regained her former irritation when she
remembered Ranma hadn't been by for his regular Saturday glomp and ramen,
not necessarily in that order. Or perhaps more of one and less of the other?
Shampoo put those thoughts aside as she arrived at the clinic.

Recalling Tofu's lecture on the cost of doors, Shampoo carefully opened the
one in front of her. Stepping into the waiting room, she immediately saw
Akane and an instant later she was facing the youngest Tendo.

"Pervert girl! Where Ranma?" Shampoo demanded. Akane didn't bat an eyelash.
Shampoo deflated and looked at her adversary curiously. She then noticed the
strangely vacant look in Akane's eyes.

"Aiiiyaaah..." Shampoo whispered to herself. She waved her hand in Akane's
face.

"Is pervert-gi-, erk, Akane home?" Shampoo waved again.

"Akane? Nihao, nihao! Does perv-, Akane know where Ranma?"

Akane seemed to finally acknowledge Shampoo's presence. Akane lifted her arm
and pointed to the door opposite her. Shampoo nodded and walked to the door,
casting a couple of glances back at zombie-A. Is too, too strange. Not
Shampoo problem, she thought. Behind Shampoo and unheard, Akane began to
giggle in a less than comforting manner. Shampoo opened the examining room
door just hard enough to rattle and stopped dead in her tracks. It seemed as
though Tofu-sensei was fondling Ranma-chan's breasts. Shampoo's face grew
dark.

"Why sensei grope airen!?"

Tofu jerked his hands back, but then he slowly covered his face and sighed.
"I just can't win..." he mumbled and shuffled to his office in the back.

The two old codgers were doing dinner-plate eyes looking through the door at
a near naked Ranma-chan. Ranma clutched her robe about her and yelled,
"PERVERTS!" The old men were again assaulted by all manner of devices for
the elderly.

In the examining room Shampoo watched the depressed Tofu wander out of sight
then turned to Ranma, whose appearance she took in and blink-blinked.

"Airen?" Shampoo said weakly. She took faltering steps forward.

"Ni-nihao, Shampoo." Ranma fidgeted nervously. She and Nabiki hadn't really
discussed how to handle Ranma's numerous fiancees and suitors. They had both
been too caught up in the moment. Nabiki watched from a semi-safe corner,
apprehension clear in her features.

Shampoo slowly looked Ranma up and down and noted the overdone makeup on
Ranma's face. She moved slightly behind him and took stock of the massive
amounts of red hair pooling on the examination table and cascading off the
edge to almost brush the floor. Shampoo faced Ranma, again, and stared at
the bright white panties.

Shampoo could have ignored the hair and the makeup, but PANTIES!? Ranma had
repeatedly expressed disgust over the notion of wearing women's underthings.
With surprising softness and concern, Shampoo spoke.

"Pervert-girl hit airen too hard again, ne?"

"Ano... no. Akane hasn't had her mallet out for a while, actually."

"Hmmmm. Someone use Sai Fang Heng Gow technique. Airen forget he man."

"Noooo.... My memory's fine."

"Formula 110?"

"No."

"Pill? Potion? Spell?"

"No, no, and no." Ranma was becoming exasperated at the game of Twenty
Questions. "Look, Shampoo, I..."

Shampoo interrupted and said, "Shampoo have question. Is Ranma boy or girl?"

Ranma looked at her blankly, but the well-used road to gender indignation
was open for traffic.

"I'M A GU..." The "project" rose in Ranma's mind. "Um... girl. I'm a girl,"
she mumbled.

Shampoo studied him for a few seconds, nodded, and then paced a short
distance away. She stopped and turned her head to the side. "Shampoo ask
again. Is boy or girl?"

"I'm a girl!" Ranma huffed, annoyed at having to repeat herself.

Shampoo faced away and thought, Something very wrong. Maybe Shampoo know how
to help. Wish great-grandmother here, but no choice in matter.

Shampoo spun around and said fiercely, "Last time ask! Is boy or girl?"

Clarity slammed into Nabiki. Oh, Kamisama! Don't go there, Ranma-kun. Don't
go there!

But true to a stunted upbringing, Ranma leapt off the table and opened her
robe wide. "Do I LOOK like a boy to you!?" she screamed.

Shampoo's expression turned ugly and her body tensed as she yanked her large
curved killing sword and a shorter blade out of stuff space. She pointed the
larger weapon at Ranma.

"GIRL-TYPE RANMA! YOU I KILL!! KIIIYAAAAAA!!!"

Shampoo leapt at the redhead and slashed in a down stroke at the recently
occupied volume of air. Ranma ran screaming around the room, eventually
running on the walls. Shampoo's sword was wedged tightly in the wood and
metal of the examination table. "Aiyah!" she said to herself as she lent the
greater portion of her abnormal strength into freeing the blade. Without
warning the sword let go and Shampoo stumbled back, right into Ranma as she
rounded in front of the waiting room door. They both crashed through the
door and into the waiting room, landing in a heap of arms and hair. Tofu
moaned loudly in his office, and the giggling Akane became the hysterically
laughing Akane as she fell to the floor.

Ranma was first on her feet and she did an encore performance of screaming
and running on the walls. A second later Shampoo was hot on her tail, swords
slashing. Akane was almost yelling in laughter, although her eyes weren't
focused on anything in particular.

Ranma risked a look behind her and quailed at the seemingly angry mass of
Amazon cutting the air where Ranma had been not a split second earlier.
Needing room to maneuver, Ranma burst through the clinic entrance, taking
out the center of Tofu's precious door. Shampoo, blades flying, tagged the
rest of the door and part of the frame. In his office, Tofu keeled over in a
dead faint. Yen signs danced the conga over his head, each one gradually
coming loose from the line and flying out the window.

Nabiki gingerly stepped over the wreckage and eyed her still manic sister
lying on the floor. She exited the clinic and looked up. A practically nude
redhead was bouncing, literally, back and forth over several nearby
rooftops, long hair and flimsy robe billowing behind her. Shampoo matched
her, jump for jump, occasionally taking a swipe when she got close enough,
and Ranma's screams echoed from several directions. Ranma suddenly
straightened her course, and red and lavender blots quickly disappeared into
the crimson half-round of the sun as it beached itself on the horizon.

Nabiki re-entered the clinic and approached Akane. She regarded the
hysterical girl for a moment then bent down and began to lightly slap her on
the cheek.

"Akane-chan," she sang. "Time to wake up!"

Nabiki had made a tactical decision regarding the "project" that she
desperately hoped she and Ranma would survive.

"Akaneeee! It's story time..."

____________________


An attractive but stern woman in her late thirties walked along an avenue
lined with vendors of fruits, vegetables, meats, and sundry edibles typical
of any Asian market. She carried two bags in her left hand and cradled a
long object wrapped in silk in the crook of her right arm. Her shopping trip
to the Nerima ward had been thoroughly enjoyable with only a couple of
unpleasant spots.

The last was a shifty fruit vendor who had argued with her to no end. Not
accustomed to being talked back to, the woman had heatedly cut the man with
unkind words on the quality of his wares and the outrageous price asked for
them. It finally took a show of cold steel to enforce even a modicum of
reasonableness, but even then the vendor only lowered the price by a
quarter. Still high, the woman thought, but black plums were out of season
and no one else was selling. It never occurred to her that she could have
moved along and been equally as happy with a different fruit that was in
season. She sniffed and set to quickly finalizing her purchases before it
became too dark to see.

All movement in the vicinity momentarily ceased as a woman's scream rapidly
approached. People moved out from under awnings and looked around, but the
numerous echoes made the source impossible to localize. The scream became
immediate as a woman appeared off the roof of a building next to the market.
>From a dead run, the woman leapt, arcing over the avenue with one leg
forward and the other back, and miraculously reached the top of the opposite
building some 25 yards distant.

The screaming was again muted, but before anyone could speak, a second woman
silently appeared and accomplished the same impossible feat. The most
obvious difference was that the second wielded two wicked-looking swords.
The last rays of the dying sun lit the smaller blade with a ruddy orange
glow, but the larger blade shown a bloody red. She looked for all the world
like an avenging angel descending from heaven to wreak havoc among foolish
mortals. The vision passed as she made the other roof and disappeared.

By this time everyone had had time to process what they had seen of the
first woman. Most were amazed at the physical prowess they had witnessed.
Others of less moral character had taken note of her apparent lack of dress,
save panties, the presence of which had only served to draw the eye.

Two teenaged boys knew exactly who the daredevils had been and were giggling
uncontrollably. They had been cutting through the market as a short cut to
one's home when the spectacle had unfolded. Getting somewhat under control,
one nudged the other.

"Hey, Daisuke. Did you ever believe you would get that good a look?"

"No. HAHAHA. I doubt even Nabiki could've arranged that show."

"Karma's a wonderful thing, ne?"

"Hai. Most definitely. Say, you have a shrine in your house, don't you?"

"Sure. Why?"

"I think I'll spend an hour thanking Kamisama for his generosity today."

Both boys roared with laughter as they passed out of the market.

The last observer was in shock. That woman! From this morning. Brazen hussy.
Running around naked like that. Probably got caught with the other's husband
or something. What must her parents think? she wondered. Shock turned to
grim amusement as she remembered the pursuer's swords. I hope she gets what
she deserves, she added darkly.

The woman made her last purchase and headed for the train station. She idly
wondered if her husband and son would be waiting for her when she returned
home. "It certainly wouldn't do to keep them waiting," she said to herself.

Twilight descended on the market, and the stalls began to close.

____________________

END PART TWO