HI,
I must first say that I know nothing about 
MAC+. This may explain my problems with this fanfic.
(I also haven't seen part 1?) I did not get any
feel for the characters, either within the story
or as characters from the Ranma 1/2 universe. The NAMES
were familiar but . . . the characters themselves were missing . ..  :(
Please understand that I have nothing against OOC (MY stuff is
entirely OOC according to some. ^_^).  My difficulty is that while I
recognize the NAMES of the Ranma characters I find nothing familiar. 
The utility of using established characters (IMO) is not having to
spend a lot of time establishing the characters. If you want OOC then
there should be an INTERNAL consistency and logic. (Perhaps this is
more clearly developed in the part I am missing or would be
established if I knew Mac+)

I also found the changes from scene to scene to be disjointed and
confusing. Again THIS may be my lack of familiarity with Mac+.
Overall the concept is interesting. My suggestion (for what it's worth
:)  ) is to think more about why the Ranma 1/2 characters are in this
universe (that is why did you use THEM rather than some other
characters) This might help bring them to life a bit more.  Scene
changes: very confusing right now. Perhaps *********
to separate fast paced changes? (I have a bad habit of doing the same
thing.  ^_^ I had to re-write an entire chapter because I'd cut it
into so many small chunks.) Again this may be MY problem due to my
unfamiliarity with MAC+.
 Nice sense of action. Good overall plot and nice technothriller
style. I did like the idea and look forward to the next revision.
(think Tom Clancy)
Good Luck

   




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