Scott:  And since we don't feel like wasting any more time on the
opening, having already procrastinated on the review for a month...

John:  Well, I've been unable to get onto my falcon account to do any
revisions on it while I've been waiting, anyway :)

Well, still dysfunctional 
but in a new and even MORE annoying way.  Her second 
general, on the other hand, seemed to be accomplishing 
nothing, although at least he didn't have the Tennis 
Warriors breathing down his neck yet.  I need some good 
news, she thought.

Scott:  Suzu-chan is one of the Warriors.  I think that qualifies as
good news for her.

Suzu:  HEY!!!!

	   That would be good news indeed.  She'd only found 
two of them and...something hadn't been quite right with 
either of them.  A tiny part of her brain wondered if the 
first two had REALLY been either of her old generals.  

Scott:  Unfortunately, it was drowned out by the larger part of her
brain, which had the melody to "Moonlight Densetsu" continuously
running through it.

Beryl:  Actually, it's Born to Be Bad which occupies most of my brain
space.

	   Jinnai arrived soon enough.  "I have a new plan, my 
queen."
  
	   "If it involves Makoto, I will send you to eternal 
sleep."

Akane:  (Beryl) By forcing you to watch all of the filler episodes of
Sailor Moon in a single marathon session.

Beryl:  Actually, sixties folk music will break people much faster.

 

  
	 Weeks had passed, and in a series of filler episodes 
which we will skim over since we aren't getting paid by 
the word, the three Tennis Warriors confronted a series 
of plots by General Jinnai. 

Scott:  We salute you.

Madoka:  Imagine how much better Sailor Moon would have been if it had
gone this way?

Akane:  Plus, it would have been a 39-episode series.

Usagi:  Hey, I DID get paid by the word, and I needed the money to buy ice
cream!
 

The next one had to be attending some other school.  She wasn't
at Sagaki, either.  Arimi-chan had checked.
  
	  Miki had decided that she liked Arimi, although she 
would have liked her more if she wasn't after Yuu.  Not 
that she had any interest in Yuu.  No way.  He was just so 
irritating.  

Akane:  Pot, meet kettle.

Miki:  HEY!!!
 

It looked 
pretty expensive with the gold carved into interlaced 
vines and flowers. 

Scott:  I'd think it would look expensive with the gold, period.

Miki:  Pretty expensive is the next step past expensive.

	   "Thanks.  I've been practicing for years."

Madoka:  The scary thing is, he probably has.

Miwa:  It takes talent to be me.  And practice.  

 

Then they'd watched a report on 
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which was on the rise in 
Tokyo.  Then they'd watched a fashion show, and the 
latest episode of Tennis Warrior V and then...it was nine 
pm.  

Akane:  Softball Warrior V, isn't it?

Scott:  You'd think if it was Tennis Warrior V, that'd give it away
pretty quickly.  Then again, so would the Softball version, if any of
them paid any attention whatsoever.

Miki:  Paid attention to what?

 

	   Miki boggled.  "You're kidding."
  
	   "Well, your dad said he had never been to one and 
so...they all went."
  
	   Finishing off another mouthful of food, Miki sighed.  
"My parents are insane."

Scott:  (Yuu) Actually, they wanted us to join them...

Chiyako:  No incest, thank you.

	  "Yes.  We turned off the TV when we got back, but 
we decided to let you sleep,"  Rumi said.  "Anyway, I'm 
going to go make breakfast while you two," she shook 
Yuu, who remained stubbornly asleep, "get cleaned up."  
She yawned.  "And I think I'll make some morning coffee 
first.  Jin really wore me out last night."

Scott:  Hmm.  If they've already divorced, that should be Youji.
Unless they're taking this whole concept a lot further than they're
telling anyone.  Which actually would explain quite a bit about the
Marmalade Boy universe.

Chiyako:  Hey, that's supposed to be ME!  Okay, who wrote me out of this
scene?  

John:  I plead the fifth.  My brain exploded.  I noted that it was Miki's
mother who woke them up (ie, Chiyako), but then called her Rumi in a
moment of stupidity.  Sigh.  

	   Meiko nodded.  "It's beautiful."
  
	   Flushing a little, Ryoko said, "Shinichi-kun gave it 
to me for my birthday."

Akane:  On a teacher's salary, he's buying white gold ruby rings
and silver emerald necklaces?

Scott:  I want to work there. ^_^  (pulls out a map of Tokyo) Let's
see, Toryo, Toryo...

Namura:  I plead the fifth.

John:  Recipients of beautiful jewelry from someone they have a crush on
often don't look the gift horse in the mouth too hard.

 

	   Setsuna blinked.  "Your boyfriend?"
  
	   Miki said, "That's Na-chan, right?"
  
	   Ryoko nodded, smiling.  Meiko's eyes narrowed and 
if anyone had been looking, they could have seen little 
lightning bolts jumping back and forth. 

Madoka:  This is new.  In MB, Meiko pretty much ignores Ryouko until
-Namura- claims they're dating.

Meiko:  Well, in the canon, he didn't give her expensive jewelry, either.
[looks at Na-chan intently]  Did you?

Namura:  Nope.  Not me.  

 

***************
  
	   On her way home from school with Yuu, Miki opened 
her progress report.  It said, 'Meet me at Junk Jungle at 
five to discuss Tennis Warrior Business.  Bring Luna.'

Akane:  Hmm.  The progress report camoflage was fairly clever, so why
would Ryouko pick an enclosed public space to discuss secrets?  Okay,
plot reasons, but it seems counterproductive, in-story.

Madoka:  Maybe she was under the tiredness effect when she thought
that part up.

John:  Why do the Sailors discuss Sailor Business at Rei's temple where
Grandpa and Yuuichiro could walk in on them at any moment?  Or the Crown
Cafe, or...they'll get better with practice.

	   "The Youma are robbing stores to finance their 
evil?"  Miki asked. "But no one has seen any monsters 
there."
  
	   "They're looking for the ring of Serenity.  A white 
gold band with a diamond set in it.  It's the most 
powerful thing in the universe. 

Akane:  Except it doesn't work against the color purple, and you've
got to remember to recharge it every 24 days.

Scott:  Hmm.  Meiko's was ruby.  Oh, well, you win some, you lose
some.

Namura:  Indeed.
 

Madoka:  Would we really want Meiko to get her hands on the most
powerful thing in the universe -anyway-?

[There is a brief silence.]

All:  No.

Meiko:  HEY!  I wouldn't abuse it much!

	  "Earth had its own brigade of special warriors who 
guarded its rulers.  All male.  I remember Tennis Warrior 
Pluto was engaged to one of them before everything fell 
apart. 

Madoka:  Oh, no...

Akane:  I suppose the full crossover was inevitable, considering.  Too
bad it isn't TV Makoto, he's athletic enough and bright enough to
actually make a decent hero.

Nanami:  But he dumped me to date Rune Venus.  If he'd done it for the OAV
Rune, I could understand, but the TV one...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

 

  
	 "Why did you...I mean..."  After all her fuming, she 
couldn't bring herself to wreck his smile by asking why 
he had given such an expensive piece of jewelry to Ryoko; 
she had seen it in a jewelry shop a few weeks ago, and 
she was pretty sure it had cost at least 50, 000 yen more 
than the ring he had given her. 

Scott:  Must be a really nice emerald, for a silver necklace to cost
more than a ruby-inset white gold ring.  That, or they're both fakes.
Which might make more sense anyway.

John:  And of course Meiko remembered the prices correctly of all the
jewelry she had seen :)  This is simply the forces of jealousy at work.

	  Miki twitched.  "What?"
  
	  "Yeah, I went to the same Junior High as him.  Very 
competitive, kinda looney.  He really hated some kid who 
was dating his sister,"  Setsuna shrugged.  "Must be a 
coin...wait, the guy he really disliked was named Makoto!"

Madoka:  Introducing... Exposition Warrior Setsuna!

Setsuna:  Paid by the word.
 

	 "He's gonna destroy Tokyo to get even with his 
sister's boyfriend?"  Meiko said.  "What a loon.  But why 
would he care about the Tennis Warriors?"
  
	  "Maybe she's one of them,"  Setsuna speculated.  "His 
sister, I mean."
  
	  "Why would he fight his sister to the death?"  Meiko 

Scott:  Spoken like a person who has never had a younger sibling.

John:  Quite.
 

the answer; it's just one of those things that helps one 
think about one's priorities.  Imagine if the world was 
going to be destroyed, and you could only save nine other 
people.  Four the same sex as you, five of the other sex, 
and those ten people would have to repopulate the Earth.  
Who would you choose?"  

Scott:  Interesting.  Either Namura's numbers are off, or he expects
something bad to happen at some point.

Akane:  Or this could be a fiendish, elaborate ruse to draw the
readers' attention.

Namura:  Yep.  Something baaaad is gonna happen.

  
	 She leaped into the air, doing a triple roll, backflip 
and tail slash, the spell which opened up her subspace 
storage facility and extracted...the Moon Coffeepot.  With 

[All three stare and collpse laughing.]

Scott:  I have to say, as magical widgets go, that's pretty useful.

Luna:  Not as handy as the Moon Pocket Fisherman.
 

	 "Dontdrinkcoffee,itsucksyourenergy."
  
	 "How did you get so hyper then?"  Meiko didn't think 
that was right; she had been drinking coffee herself.
  
"MagiccoffeepotohwaitIwasn'tsupposedtomentionthat!"
  
	 Meiko laughed.  What an imagination you have, Miki.  

Scott:  Meiko Akizuki, still in denial.

Madoka:  She's moved in all her possessions and taken up permanent
residence there.

Meiko:  Growing up in my house, I had to move to denial to keep my sanity.

	    "Your other two generals!"  Youma Xerox paused for 
breath.  "Your other two generals!"
  
	   "It's not Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon again, is 
it?"
  
	  "I never repeat the same mistake twice."  Youma 
Xerox said.  "I never repeat the same mistake twice."

Akane:  Shouldn't Xerox -always- repeat the same mistake twice?

Xerox:  You expect me to admit to that?

Tennis Warrior Pluto thought.  But then, if she had been 
one of the smarter ones, that goddess would never have 
slipped this past her.  Not my problem now; she can't 
reenter this timeline without my permission.  Hmm.  
Time to go recruit Uranus and Neptune.  I just hope 
Neptune doesn't try to fondle me again.  She raised her 
Key-Staff and vanished.

Akane:  Neptune and Uranus are... them?

Scott:  Appropriate.  Frightening, but appropriate.

Madoka:  Look on the bright side.  At least neither of them is Saturn.

Tennis Warrior Pluto:  [shudders]  Thank heavens.

Scott:  What?  Setsuna and Miki might make a good couple...

Madoka:  Besides, she's already got everyone -else- interested in her,
why not Setsuna too?

Setsuna:  Hey, I am NOT like that!

	  Ginta gave Arimi an odd look, but she just kept 
smiling.
  
	  "Maybe I will,"  Miki said stubbornly.
  
	  "You could bring your boyfriend Miwa, if you want to 
come along, Meiko,"  Arimi said.
  
	  "He is NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

Scott:  She keeps saying that.  We all know what that means, in
anime...

Akane:  Wishful thinking.

Miwa:  Wish!  Wish!  Wish harder, Scott!!!

**********
  
	   Eventually, they were all full and ready to head for 
home.  As they walked down the street, however, they 
had an unexpected visitor.  She looked suspiciously like a 
huge coffee can with arms, legs, a head, and a big wide 
brimmed sombrero.  In other words, she would have made 
a good Dr. Who monster.  

Madoka:  So the budget for this episode was running low?

John:  Yep.

	 He stared at her.  Is she just trying to make Miki 
jealous or...does she really...no, that's not possible, he 
thought.  Although she is kinda cute, but...Miki is the one 
I...love.  And I have to protect her.  "I can't let you two 
sacrifice yourself for me!"  He charged the coffee 
monster.  "Run while you can!"
  
	 "Ginta you idiot!"  Miki shouted, then looked over at 
Arimi.  Maybe we should transform, she thought.  Ginta 
and Meiko would keep our secret.

Madoka:  Ginta would, for about a week, before he slipped and spilled
it.  Tell Meiko and the entire city will know by that time.

Meiko:  HEY!

	  Miki got ready to scream in horror, or maybe 
transform, but then everything went still.  A faint 
cascade of notes sounded, and a voice spoke from the top 
of a nearby telephone pole.  "Strangling young girls isn't 
very nice.  Although I can understand failing to 
appreciate having a pencil stuck in your arm.  I, Tennis 
Mask, will punish you!"  The speaker had short hair and 

Scott:  -Tennis- Mask?  Oh boy.  -Everyone- really does have a secret
ID, then...? ^_^;;;

Meiko:  I don't!

Miki:  Yet.

Meiko:  What?

Miki:  [walks off whistling]  Nothing.

	 [We see Super Deformed Ginta, Super Deformed Miki, 
and Super Deformed Yuu doing a cancan line.  Ginta and 
Yuu are wearing skirts and look REALLY embarrassed.  
They go back and forth across the screen, faster and 
faster, round and round a pair of chairs, until finally the 
music stops and they all scramble for a chair.  Yuu and 
Ginta both grab one leaving Miki stranded.  They turn to 
each other, they yelp silently, knowing what the 
eyecatches in Marmalade Boy always insinuate.  Zoom out 
on Miki looking shocked.]

Scott:  This... was inspired.

John:  Hehe.  Thanks.  I had fun.

************
  
Eyecatch:
  
	 [We see SD Meiko skating along with SD Miwa on one 
side of her and SD Na-chan on the other.  As they zoom 
along, we see Miki and Meiko's little robot tape recorder 
in the way.  Just as Miwa is about to trip on it, it 
suddenly reaches out, grabs Na-chan and hurls him into 
space, where we see him land on the space shuttle while 
it is working on the new space station.  Back on earth, 
Meiko stares at the robot while Miwa surrepetiously 
shows the audience a remote control and a home 
electronics guide.  Iris out.]

Scott:  YES!  Thank you.

John:  The Mboy eyecatches drive me nuts at times; I finally had to do
this to keep my own sanity. :)

  
**********
  
	 Ryoko stared at her students with the feeling she 
had forgotten something.  A quick check revealed that she 
was dressed, so that wasn't the problem.

Scott:  ...Oooookay.  Even I'm not going to touch that one. O_o;

Ryoko:  Haven't you ever had a nightmare where you suddenly found yourself
naked in front of everyone?

  
	 As she strode away, he tried to understand why he 
liked her.  Some of it, he had to admit, was the challenge.  
He liked a good challenge.  And some of it was...He wanted 
to make her smile. 

Scott:  Notice that Miwa and Michael, the two guys who had as their
motivation making the girls happy, were the only two not to be paired
up at the end of the anime?  Speaking of which, I hope we see Michael
turn up in this fic.  And An too.  It's based on anime continuity
anyway, since Ryouko appears...

John:  An?  You mean Anju?  Yes, Anju will appear.  Since I only have up
to #48 of Mboy, none of the Americans from the end will show up as I know
nothing about them.

	   He sighed and put Meiko out of his mind for the 
moment.  His cousin, Sakuma Suzu, had been caught 
sneaking out of her house in the middle of the night by 
her parents again.  The tenth time in a month.  She 
wouldn't tell them why, and she wouldn't stop.  They'd 
asked him to come by and try to find out what she was up 
to; he was sure it was probably a stupid crush, like the 
one she had had on the Hayama boy for a while. 

Scott:  Imagine Suzu and Sana in the same room.

Madoka:  Imagine Miwa and Hayama in the same room.

Scott:  Point.

John:  You won't have to imagine after I write the Sana vs. Suzu episode
:)
 

***********
  
	The good thing about the tournament being cancelled 
is that Yuu, Miki, Arimi and Ginta had more time for their 
"double date". 

Madoka:  Of course, the purpose of that double date had been to
celebrate the team's victory...

John:  Most teens need little excuse to celebrate.
 

The bad thing was that this was the same 
that Tokyo was threatened with destruction by General 
Jinnai.   The REALLY bad thing was that somehow, 
Rokutanda had found out about it. 

Scott:  Rokutanda finds out about everything.  Murphy's Law has it in
for him, or something.

John:  He and Hikaru Hibino both have the same power:  Show up when least
desired to appear.
 

On the one to ten scale 
of date movies where one is perfect and ten is less fun 
than being tortured by the Viet Cong, it was about a 
thirty. 

Scott:  I think I took my last girlfriend to that movie.  Only it was
called "In the Company of Men."

Madoka:  That was a good movie...

Scott:  True, but as a "date movie," I think Urotsukidoji has it beat.

John:  Do you have a death wish, Scott?
 

nervously.  "I asked Satoshi to keep an eye on her house 
and make sure nothing happened, but I mean...it's not like 
he can do anything if it does happen but I had to do 
something and..."

Madoka:  Oh, boy.  Miki better hope Meiko doesn't find out she asked
Miwa.

Meiko:  MIKI!!!!!

Miki:  [runs away]  Madoka!!!!

	  "Vandalizing Tokyo International Airport isn't very 
nice!"  A voice shouted from far down the runway.  

Scott:  Is there actually a Tokyo International?  I know about Narita,
but...

John:  Narita is Tokyo International.  Depending on whether one is viewing
Sub or Dub SM :)
 

Then Makoto tasered him.  After 
bouncing a while, he said, "Hmm.  That perked me back 
up."
  
	  Makoto's jaw dropped.  Nanami said, "Use the egg 
grenades!"  Makoto nodded and unloaded three eggshells 
worth of pepper in Jinnai's face. 

Scott:  A week's warning, and Makoto couldn't work up something better
than that?  Hrm.

Makoto:  I'm trying to incapacitate, not slay.  I wasn't quite expecting
him to be so tough.  He didn't used to be.

	  Tennis Warrior Mercury hefted Makoto over one shoulder and 
streaked off, carrying him to safety in a nearby hanger, then charged 
full tilt into a youma, bodyblocking him into oblivion.   Jinnai was
next; she sent him flying into the air, and he landed right in front
of Tennis Warrior Moon, who grabbed him by his tie.

Akane:  Shouldn't she be using her racquet and powers?

Scott:  Does she have a racquet?  It wasn't mentioned.

Nanami:  They forgot to tell me I had a raquet!  So I didn't even think
about it at first.

seconds but seemed like eternity.  And then two strong arms caught
her with an 'oof'.  For a moment, she hoped it was Na-chan, but it
was Satoshi.  "Miwa-kun."

Akane:  So he doesn't even rate a 'sempai' after saving her life?
Ouch.

John:  [blinks]  Aren't they in the same grade?
 

	  Jinnai laughed.  "I know what you should do!  You should
DIE!"

Madoka:  (Jetboy) I can't die yet... I haven't seen 'The Jolson
Story.'

John:  Heh.

balls and body blocks later, the youma were all shouting "Potato!"
and disintegrating.  Moon was NOT pleased to have been mistaken for
a potato.  

Scott:  Err... (blinks) Ok, I missed something.

John:  This is my gag off of the way all the youma who die in season 3
shout, 'LOVELY' when they die.
 

	 Everyone paled now, although they didn't really know why,
except for Mercury.  "That's too evil even for my brother!  How
about if you just lock him in a room with Youma Barney for
eternity?"

Akane:  How's Mercury know about the youma?

Nanami:  Barney HAS to be a youma.  

	 "Perfect."
  
	  Their last sight of Jinnai was of him screaming, "No!  I
already love me!  I ALREADY LOVE ME!!!!"

Scott:  I'm going to miss him.  He was always a pretty interesting
villain.  Oh, well, who's next?  Kei?

Kei:  I won't be appearing for a while down the pike, which isn't bad
since I'm off on a piano tour right now anyway.

Akane:  Their theme music just keeps getting more elaborate.

Scott:  Right.  I can just see the Christmas episode, where Kei writes
Miki a new transformation theme.

Kei:  Good idea.  
 

	   "Now we have enough Tennis Warriors for a doubles 
match against ourselves!"  Moon said.

Akane:  Oh, so Nanami does get a racquet.

Madoka:  We know the five Inners, Pluto, and, more or less, Neptune
and Uranus.  So there's just Saturn.

Scott:  Anju.  They match pretty well, plus it'd do her justice. ^_^

Anju:  Who's been leaking plot developments?

	  'I told the parentals that you had called and said you 
would be staying overnight at Meiko's.  I hope you had fun 
tonight; I certainly did.  You might consider climbing out 
the window and coming in the front door in the morning.  
Goodnight, Miki.'  It was sighed, 'Yuu'.  

Akane:  That's sweet.  In a skewed sort of way.

Yuu:  Just doing my job as a sort of brother.  Sort of.
 

Scott:  I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.  Till next
time...

John:  Chapter 5 starts the next major story arc, the Quest for the Nine
Rings and pits our heroines vs. General #2.


John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu       
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/

If it has passed from the high and the beautiful to darkness and ruin, that
was of old the fate of Arda Marred; and if any change shall come and the
Marring be amended, Manwe and Varda may know; but they have not revealed it,
and it is not declared in the dooms of Mandos.
--Final Line of The Silmarillion