And so we continue.  There's probably nothing new here, but you know 
what?  I don't care!

                               BLISS

                               part 6

	Akane was on skin patrol, what she preferred to call the 
duty of skinning the hides of whatever beasts that happened to be 

*Eliminate "that".*

needing it. Whistling as she removed the hide, Akane entered her 
own little world of daydreams.

	"Yes. I was curious a to what it was."

*Typo:  "as to".*

	"Damn this kid is feisty. Feels like it's about to bust out 
through my gut." Akane sat down with her hand on her stomach, 

*Well, that's a lovely little Aliens reference.*

grimacing. The baby had waited approximately two weeks before it 
decided that breaking ribs was something it wanted to do as a 
hobby. Akane was none too pleased.

	She doodled. There had been a couple vain attempts at 
drawing the interior of the house, Ukyo, a tree, birds... 
Failures. Bad ones. So Akane found herself simply doodling, 
drawing intricate patterns with no real rhyme or reason on the 
hide. It whittled away the time while she waited for the baby to 
be born.

*Intricate patterns on a hide?  How... Pictish.*

	[...there is no doubt you're in my heart now...]

*And Guns 'n' Roses, too?  This is Cthulu's Firstborn, isn't it?*

	IN those few hours, Akane managed to make it down to the 

*Did you mean to emphasize "IN"?*

river, her back protesting, gathered some fruit from the trees 
nearby, work on some weaving and a number of other random tasks.

	Ukyo looked up at the sky and knew they were in trouble. 
Never had he seen it turn green before. The stiff, cool breeze 
that blew smelled imminently of rain.

*green=bad.  First lesson of life in Tornado Alley.*

	How she hated to rest, forced to recline and do nothing, yet 
she knew it was something she had to do. Not to mention, Ukyo 

*No comma after "mention".*

would physically force her to lie back down if she ever got too 
active.

	"Kind of. What's it like out there? I can here the wind..." 

*Typo:  "hear".*

Hear it? She could feel it, and she was very concerned that it 
would take the roof right off.

	"I don't know. I think the best thing to hope for is that it 
doesn't last very long. Maybe just a day. And that it doesn't blow 
away every we've worked to do up until now." Whatever happened, it 

*Typo:  "everything".*

wouldn't help at all when the baby arrived.

	He retrieved some plantains from the storage shed, along 
with a few wild vegetables. It wasn't quite stew, but a chunky 
soup that worked just as well. If he had any real cooking ability, 
he would have devised some way to make noodles, but with the way 
their bread turned out...

*Your portrayal of "Ukyo"'s cooking skill is a bit uneven, and even 
seems to be deteriorating a bit.*

	Ukyo got the thick plantain stew heating then carefully got 
into the hammock with Akane. It would be a good 15 minutes before 
the food was heated up enough to eat. "So do you think it will be 
a boy or a girl," he said quietly, stroking Akane's hair.

*Should be:  '... or a girl?" he asked...'.*

	Their wake up call in the morning left a lot to be desired. 
The home creaked ominously, but it was only, with a tremendous 
squeal, when the roof was yanked off and sent crashing into the 
tool shed.

*This sentence needs finishing.*

	There was one other option he knew of. "Akane, the temple."
	Instantly she shook her head. "No, Ukyo. Not there. Not in 
that place."
	"It's the only place I can think of, Akane. Before this gets 
worse, we have to go! It's the only place!" How he wished that 
wasn't true.

*Told ya!  Cthulu's gonna have a baaabbbyyyy! "Enter freely and of your 
own will," and all that.*

	As she moved herself to sit on the mat, Ukyo was removing 
the other things from the satchel. He washed his dirty hands with 
some of the water then turned his attention to Akane. With all the 
moisture and then on the tile, his skin was freezing, and Akane 

*"Between all the moisture and then being on the tile,".*

couldn't be any better.

	"The pain, Akane. Is the pain worse? Is the baby coming? Do 
don't this now," Ukyo answered, now very worried.

*I have no idea what you meant with that last sentence... or is he 
babbling?*

	She didn't think about, and she was very glad after the fact 

*"... about it,"*

that she didn't have to look at it, but very shortly, she also 
birthed the placenta. With a sigh of relief that the feeling was 
finally gone, she fully relaxed.

	Ukyo shrugged, looking at the two. "I'm not sure. I can't 
really thing of any..." Pain ripped through his head as he looked 

*Typo:  "think of".*

into the wide open eyes of his daughter.
	His hands flew up to grasp his head as he gasped for air. 
"Na... Nabiki."

*Great name for the Cthulu's favored!*

	At the top of the stairs, his hopes were dashed. Wind still 
blowing and rain still falling, they were stuck at the temple. 

*Comma-splice: "... falling;  they...".*

"Shit!" he yelled at the sky.

	She felt his hands reach out, moving over her flesh, and 
fought to not pull away form him. The weight in her arms suddenly 

*Typo:  "from".*

seemed to come into being. Nabiki.

	The wind had been strong enough to take off the roof, but 
everything else seemed to withstand the storm fine, even the 

*C-S:  "... fine;  even...".*

smaller structures remained standing.

	Time passed, as it tends to if you take your eyes off of it.

Another brilliant line.

This chapter was rougher, again.  Must say that I can't wait to find out 
what the hell is going on here, though.

______________________________________________________
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