We met in the dojo.

	I rounded up everyone I had spoken to - Ukyou, Genma, 
Kasumi, Nabiki, Shampoo, Cologne, Kuno, Kodachi, even Ryouga. 
They were none too happy, but all of then showed up after I 
told them that I knew exactly what had happened to Akane. And 
to Ranma.

	They were staring at me impatiently. I coughed, gave 
them a bright smile, and began.

	"More that a couple of you have been suspicious about the 
circumstances of Akane's death and Ranma's disappearance. So 
Ukyou here hired me to find out the truth." I turned to her. "I'll 
take the money now, by the way."

	She silently handed me a check.

	"This wasn't easy," I began. "Some of you lied, some of 
you had bad information, and some of you..." I glared at Cologne, 
"some of you told me the exact, pure, misleading truth."

	"Enough already," Ukyou snapped. "Get on with it."

	"Well..." I said, "Ranma's affair with Kodachi was the 
first suspicious part."

	"WHAT!?" screeched half the room.

	I nodded. "That was my reaction. But the love letter was 
there, Ranma was missing, and Ryouga said he delivered it 
from Ranma to Kodachi."

	Kodachi beamed. Ukyou and Shampoo shot murderous 
glares at her. Nabiki and Kasumi looked stunned.

	"Kuno overheard what he thought was Ranma contracting 
someone to cover up Akane's murder. The thought came into my 
head that Ranma, possibly under the influence of a substance 
bought from Cologne - and I do know that someone bought 
something rare from Cologne - killed Akane so that she 
wouldn't get in the way of him and Kodachi."

	"Why that..." Ukyou began, fury filling her expression. 

	I hastily shook my head. "But that's not what happened. 
First of all, who was this mysterious person Ranma was 
talking to? It wasn't Kodachi, clearly. Genma, Ryouga, Kasumi, 
Ukyou, Shampoo, Cologne, and Nabiki all have no motive to help 
Ranma kill Akane to be with Kodachi. So who was this person 
who was going to 'cover things up'?"

	"Good question," Ryouga growled.

	"Also, why would Ranma vanish, come back, kill Akane, 
and vanish again - all without taking Kodachi with him? And 
why hadn't anyone noticed Ranma and Kodachi getting close?"

	"We were subtle!" Kodachi said through gritted teeth.

	I shook my head sadly. "Ryouga, who did Ranma tell you to 
give that letter to?"

	"I told you," the Lost Boy grumbled. "To Kodachi."

	"Yes, but what were his exact words?"

	Ryouga blinked. "I think it was something like, 'Here, 
could you give this to the cute psycho'."

	I nodded. "Ayup. Not Kodachi, the cute psycho."

	"It was to me!" Kodachi shrieked. I chuckled.

	"There was no name on the letter. Just from Ranma, to 
his love, telling her that this was going to be difficult but that 
he loved her."

	"What was difficult?" Ukyou asked. "Killing Akane? Was 
that letter supposed to be to me?"

	I shook my head. "Let's backtrack. It didn't take me long 
to figure out who Kuno had overheard Ranma talking to. If you 
had to do something sneaky, who would you turn to?"

	Every eye in the room moved to focus on Nabiki.

	"Look, if you think I helped kill Akane, you're nuts," 
Nabiki said. Nervously.

	"Oh?" I asked pointedly. "It took me a while to figure out 
what Kasumi was talking about. 'She shouldn't have done 
it. It was very inconsiderate, and it just wasn't right... I can 
see why she did it, but it still just wasn't right... I don't think 
Ranma would be very pleased, and neither would...'  I thought 
she was talking about Akane's suicide at first, but no. She was 
talking about what you did, Nabiki."

	"What I did?" she asked, a hint of nervousness creeping 
into her voice.

	"Yes. You waited about twelve hours after Ranma left. 
Then you called Ukyou, so you could get a witness, and you 
went up to the roof with your victim, and what you'd bought 
from Cologne."

	"This is..." Nabiki began. I shook my head.

	"How did it feel, Nabiki, to push your little sister off a 
roof? You'd better hope Ranma never finds out. You had to tell 
Kasumi, but it made her pretty sick."

	"It seemed for the best," Kasumi mumbled, staring at the 
floor. "I didn't find out until after..."

	"Look, you've got this all wrong," Nabiki began 
desperately.

	"God, you killed your own sister?" Ukyou spat, staring at 
Nabiki in shock. "Why?"

	Ryouga made a low noise in his throat, and I decided I'd 
better nip this in the bud. "Nabiki didn't kill her. She did 
something pretty unpleasant, but she didn't kill Akane."

	"But you just say..." Shampoo began. I shook my head.

	"Cologne sold Nabiki something, but it wasn't to kill 
Akane with. I have her word on that."

	Cologne chuckled. "Too clever by half."

	"Ranma hired Nabiki to cover something up. Ranma was 
hanging around with Akane, who was awfully nervous about 
something. Ranma left a note saying the fiancees would be 
violent, and wouldn't understand. Ranma sent a love letter to 
someone, telling them that it would be hard but that it was 
worth it."

	"Wait a minute..." Ryouga began, eyes widening. "He wasn't 
going to..."

	"...elope with Akane," I finished. "After the wedding 
fiasco, he knew they couldn't be together around here. So they 
decided to leave. And Ranma hired Nabiki to cover their tracks."

	"No..." Ukyou said numbly. "That can't be right... look, 
Akane's dead..."

	I chuckled. "Nabiki, you really have a sick mind. It was 
the rabbit cage that finally tipped me off. The empty rabbit 
cage. That and the fact that not even you would be that callous 
about your sister's suicide."

	She sighed. "Very clever, Daisuke. You're brighter than 
you look."

	"Well, I'm not!" snarled Ryouga. "Did she kill Akane or 
not?"

	I shrugged. "Depends on how you look at it. She went up to 
the roof with her bunny, uncorked the bottle of Akaneiinchuan 
she got from Cologne, poured, and pushed."

	"That noise I heard..." Ukyou began numbly.

	"Was a rabbit with a suddenly human throat trying to 
make alarmed cries," I concluded. "Right before Nabiki pushed 
it to its death. Bet Ranma never thought the distraction would 
be like this."

	Ryouga blinked. "Then Akane..."

	"...eloped with Ranma a few days ago," I finished blandly. 
"Don't ask me where they went; I have no idea. Nabiki did her 
job well, if somewhat disgustingly."

	"I always wanted to do that," Nabiki mumbled. "Stupid 
little brat."

	"So the only person who's been murdered is an innocent 
rabbit," I concluded. "On the whole, not a bad ending. But 
somehow I doubt many of you are happy with it."

	They didn't answer. They were all too busy exchanging 
murderous glares.

	I managed to get out the door five seconds before the 
fight broke out.

------------------------------------

Notes: Done in 2.5 hours after listening to the 'Shoot Out The Lights'
album one too many times. That tends to happen with me; a song gets stuck
in my head, and a story gets built around it...

In retrospect, I prolly shouldn't have posted this right after a
Akaneiichuan thread. You lot are sharper than I figured... most people who
wrote hit the nail right on the head.


-ML