Ranma dumped his futon and pack onto the floor of Akane's
room.  That was it; the sum total of his worldly possessions were
in the pack, and the futon of course had been supplied by the
Tendos.

pack, and futon was not even his, having been supplied by the Tendos.
(or something to that effect, IMO)

    Kasumi frowned.  "That's not very safe, Akane.  You could
slip and fall, or trip over something, or even wander too far away

>from Ranma.  Besides, you've both seen each other before; why make

a fuss over it?  I don't understand what the problem is."

You'd think Kasumi would show at least a *little* concern.

    Kasumi replied after it became clear that her sister was not
going to continue her objection.  "But what, Akane?"

Huh? After it became clear that she wasn't going to continue?

    "What is it?" he asked without turning.  He did however stop
undressing.

did, however, stop

    "Isn't my sworn oath enough for you?" he asked quietly, his
voice a little unsteady.  "You ought to know I'm very good at
keeping them.  I swore one to Ryouga, you know, and--  Ah, never
mind."  He scooped up two long, black cloths from the hamper next
to him and held them out to Akane, still not looking.  "Here."

    "Where did you get those?" she asked, the anger draining out
of her, the question she had meant to ask forgotten.

    He turned his head to look at her over his shoulder.  "They
were lying in the hamper."  He tied his around his head with quick
movements.

The "where'd you get 'em?" exchange feels a bit unecessary to me - the
reader already knows (hamper, hamper, yes I've heard it 53453 times
already) and the question doesn't really feel *that* important for
Akane.

    Ranma was more than a little surprised to hear a giggle come

>from Akane's direction, but he smiled himself in reaction and

It surprised Ranma more than a little to hear a giggle

followed the noise, his arm outstretched but held softly so he
couldn't hurt her.  Carefully he walked towards where he last

Carefully, he

    Her protests stopped suddenly as she bumped into his rather
female chest.  A bolt of pain shot through Ranma at the heavy
contact, and he jerked backwards.  "Ow!  What where you're goin'!"
But his skin burned where her shoulder had bumped him, and he was
finding it difficult to be angry at her.  The feel of her still

and he found it difficult

    Ranma responded by flinging the contents of his bucket in the
direction Akane's voice had come from, and was rewarded with a
female gasp.  From a different direction, Akane yelled, "Who's
there?!"

Hmuhgh? *confused* If it wasn't Akane speaking, wouldn't he
recognize the voice?

    The hot water of the large bath soaked into Akane's body as
she lay submerged up to her neck in the furo.  She could almost
imagine that she was in there alone, but somehow she could sense
Ranma's presence off to her right, facing her across the bath.

alone, yet somehow she

    Thoughts of Ranma brought to mind her latest performance.
She frowned at Nabiki's blatant betrayal of trust.  But also
making her frown was her memory of her own impetuousness.  She
sighed, swallowed and drew breath to speak.

"But also making her frown was" sounds very clumsy IMO, though
I'm not sure what would be better.

    "Kasumi-oneechan, where's Nabiki-oneechan?"  Akane and Ranma,
now dressed in fresh clothes and free of their blindfolds, braced
Kasumi in the kitchen as she washed dishes.

braced?

    Akane frowned, then looked to Ranma who just shrugged in an
'I-told-you-so' kind of way.  They turned and after some brief
discussion made their way out into the garden, ignoring the two
shogi players sitting on the engawa.

turned, and (...) discussion, made

    The television was showing a silly movie about a female ramen-
seller and her search for how to make the perfect ramen.  Ranma
and Akane sat companionably side-by-side watching it, cups of
barley tea sitting forgotten on the table in front of them.

The television showed, IMO

    Nabiki, too, was sitting at the table watching the TV.  She

sat at the table

was absorbed, fascinated by the lengthy, emotive description of
the *perfect* ramen noodle issuing from the lips of an actor
playing, of all things, a butler.  She ignored the other two,
concentrating on a movie.

on the movie, perhaps, unless they sent several simultaneously. ^_^

    Akane reflexively hugged the small black pig to her chest.
"He's not Ryouga, Ranma!  You're always so mean my poor little P-
chan.  Why can't you be nice to him."

him?"

    The three children shared a look even as Nodoka came out of
the kitchen with the remainder of the tea items, smiling benignly
at the demonstration of True Love playing itself out in front of
her.

Waitaminute... is she around all of a sudden?
(or perhaps she was previously; my memory isn't what it was.. um...
well, it probably is, but it never was much to begin with)

    This morning all had been normal... well, as normal as things

This morning had been all normal, *possibly*, or
All of this morning. Definitely not "This morning all" ...
hmm, possibly "This morning, all had"

    Hopefully Part 3 will come out... eventually.  Ah, I have
such plans....

Eventually? I want it NOW!%"#%!"%"#�/%/"// *swear* ,-)

I'm not quite sure why (well, other than my soft spot for Akane-Ranma
romance) I like this, but I do. A lot. 

---
Ronny Hedin, thark@hem2.passagen.se, http://nabiki.newberry.edu/thark/
                    "Momomoto, famous japanese, can swallow his nose."