Andrew Day wrote:

Sorry to all of you who tried to read my story and got the very badly
formatted version.  Hopefully this time around it will be a little more
legible. 

Not enough.  Please start a new paragraph whenever you switch speakers
during a dialogue.  For instance:

 Mihoshi: Tenchi's Choice
       "You WHAT?" exclaimed Ryoko and Aeka in unison.
       "I am going to marry Mihoshi," said Tenchi.
       "Miho..." stammered Ryoko.  She phased in with her arms around
Tenchi.  "What do you mean, Tenchi?  We're lovers.  Remember?" she said
in her most pitiful voice.
       "RYOKO!!!!!!!!!!!  GET AWAY FROM HIM," shouted Aeka.
       Ryoko turned to Aeka and started to speak. "Now, Aeka---" she was
interrupted by Tenchi's escape from her grasp.
       "Ryoko, we are not lovers.  Friends, yes. Lovers, no," he said.
       "But Lord Tenchi.  What about Jurai and our marriage?" asked
Aeka, somewhat less politely than normal.

Reformatting to the proper columns was a good start - now you need to
correct the internal style before it can be called properly legible.

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