Subject: Re: [FFML] [Ranma][Repost]Double Trouble, Part 1-5
From: bert.miller@unisys.com
Date: 1/5/1999, 4:07 PM
To: "Emily Siazon" <emily9@erols.com>
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

This started well, but as it does on I find I lose interest.  I think the
problem
is that this is the umpteenth
repeat-of-the-first-few-chapters-with-variations
that I, and probably everyone else, has read.

I suggest that you either cut it short, like many of "The Bet" stories, or
concentrate on the ways in which the dual, mirroring curses changes
the story.  You should be able to concentrate on fewer, funnier scenes,
given the potential for identity confusion.  Don't go for word count, but
for deeper laughs per paragraph.

Kuno should be trying to find and date both Akanes.  Kodachi should
be trying to find and date both Ranmas.  Nabiki should be finding
reasons to convince Ranma to impersonate Akane and vice
versa.  Ranma should be trying to prove to Akane that he can do
disguises better than she can.

How does Akane's curse change her conviction that all boys are
perverts, or her reaction to romantic threats?