On Tue, 5 Jan 1999, Jamie and Bridget Wilde wrote:

Vincent Seifert wrote:

TotH webpage (all parts): http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/

The Taming of the Horse

(snippage of story) 

That's all I wrote.  I still haven't figured out a good way to end the
story; an epilogue seems called for.  I am currently mulling over the
feedback I have received, and gestating a revised version of TotH.

(Bridget here)

I enjoyed the story very much, but I would agree that something more is
called for.  It feels to me that the initial focus of the story (the
"Taming" of Ranma as per the book Akane found) got somewhat lost in the
last two chapters, "Wedding" and "Honeymoon."  Not that they weren't
enjoyable chapters; they just diverged from that theme.

Well, horses don't exactly get weddings and honeymoons, and that messed up
my, er, theming a bit.  :) 

What actually happened is that the first half of "Honeymoon" ambushed me
after I had finished the first 7 chapters and thought I was done.  I just
couldn't not write it, and then the second half of "Honeymoon" made a
nuisance of itself... so I needed something to bridge the gap between the
end of "Mating" and the beginning of "Honeymoon", and wrote "Wedding"
last.

What I would
think is needed is something of a return to that theme (an epilogue
would work well) which would tie the entire story together.  There are
all sorts of scenes you could do to bring it back in.  An embarrassing
scene with Ranma finding the riding crop.  An irreverent take on
"Foaling," perhaps.  But I do think the thematic closure needs to be
there to complement the cementing of their relationship, and to give the
work more unification.

Ah!  That is just what I was thinking, but in significantly more detail
than I was thinking it.  Splendid.  Some people wrote to me that they
weren't satisfied either, but they wanted TotH to continue.  I like
endings.  If that requires a sequel, so be it.  :) 

Thank you for your excellent suggestions; I will plant them and see what
germinates.

Very well done! :)

I'm glad you enjoyed it.  In the end, that's what this is all about, I
think. 


Vince Seifert    Network Analyst     seifertv@csus.edu
http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/  updated 1998Jun04
CSUS hired me to build their network, not to speak for the university.