A Little Sense?
by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/
 i don't own Ranma 1/2, all char trademarked by
them that do. timeframe: immediately after "Like Water For Ranma"
this story came out of the idea, what if you really could beat
some sense into someone...
then came the thought, "Phenomenon"
----------------Day Two, early afternoon----------------------
 Upon entering the Nekohanten, the first thing noted was that it was closed.

 Upon entering, Shampoo also decided not to put off something she'd been
meaning to do for awhile. Shampoo glomped Ranma, only to be shocked almost
to immobility by something she had NEVER expected.

 Ranma was squeezing back, lightly but he was doing it.

 It required martial arts discipline worthy of the Nichieju Champion to
remind herself that her airen was injured and that picking him up and
carrying him off to do some serious snuggling would probably aggravate his
condition. It was a close thing though. Very close.

 "Shampoo, I am so very, VERY, sorry."

 Shampoo's eyes went wide and she began to pull back. Was this it? Had he
made a choice and it wasn't her? Was this the kiss goodbye?

 "I've been acting like a jerk, and...I don't really deserve you."

 There was a thump as an eavesdropping Mousse fell down a set of stairs in
order to perform a 15' spinning facefault. Only that he was currently in
duck form kept him from seriously injuring himself on some hidden weapons.

 Cologne, also listening, briefly held up a scorecard marked "5.5"

 "Airen, what you say? You..."

 "<Yes, Shampoo. I know about your laws. I know that you can't go home
without me. I also know I could never be comfortable living in your
homeland, though. I could never settle for a role simply as Shampoo's
foreign husband.>"

 "<Husband speaks Mandarin?>" Shampoo blinked as Ranma's words penetrated.
"<Ranma, you don't have to...>"

 "<C'mon, Shampoo, I know better. Males in your village don't do too well,
do they? Why do you think they keep to their places? Can you really picture
me as a quiet little homebody?>"

 "<No...>" Shampoo's voice broke. "<But I...>"

 "<I know, Shampoo, I know.>" Ranma knew quite well about Shampoo's feelings
for him.

 "<So who...>"

 Ukyou was staring at Ranma. She didn't understand the conversation but it
was obvious that something was going on.

 "<None of the above.>" Ranma smiled a little as Shampoo started studying
his face. "<Akane loves me but resents me. I'm not any good for her. Ukyou
is first and foremost a businesswoman, and her greatest love will always be
okonomiyaki. Kodachi, once she actually had me, would drop me and move on to
other interests. She's a compulsive-obsessive like her brother.>"

 "<So, your main objection to me is that I must return to the village? That
you can't accept the role of meek husband?>"

 "<That, you turn into a cat, and your moral/ethical structure is based on
completely different values than the Japanese standards I'm used to.>" Ranma
looked into her eyes, silently rejoicing that the eyecatch effect seemed to
have stopped working. Or maybe it just worked once with a given individual.

 Shampoo blinked and Mousse facefaulted again. Cologne, still hidden, merely
looked thoughtful.

 "<Was this when I tried the Red String or was it the Mushrooms?>" Shampoo
shook her head. "<Husband. I can't do anything about the cat curse.
I...understand.>"*Understand that he's still injured and not himself.  When
Ranma gets better, he'll see that Shampoo love him. Even if Shampoo never go
back to the village, Shampoo won't give give up on Ranma!*

 "Anybody wanna repeat any of that in Japanese?" Ukyou was getting tired of
being left out of this conversation.

 Ranma started the task of explaining this to Ukyou. His gaze never left
hers, and she could feel the compassion and regret coming from him.

 *Saotome is giving up? Letting me go about the task of winning my Shampoo?*

 *Son in law has changed. This much of a personality dislocation from a head
injury is not a good sign, though I must admit I like the change. I wonder
if it could be? No! It couldn't be!*

 Ranma winced a little in anticipation. Cologne had figured it out?

 *He must have another girlfriend!*

 Ranma considered facefaulting but decided it would hurt too much.

 Shocked certainty radiated from where Cologne was standing on the head of
her staff. *Someone mature and responsible, who is bringing those very
qualities out in him. Well, well....AH HAH! So that's why Ranma was teaching
Kasumi Tendo his moves. So she would be able to defend herself when all the
other suitors found out about it.* Cologne started radiating pleasure as she
put together pieces of a puzzle, not realizing that she was completely wrong
as it made perfect sense to her. *So, while everyone watches the magician
misdirecting everyone with the colored scarves, the real trick is being
performed under their noses. Until this injury set things off, even I was
fooled by this act. Brilliant.*

 Ranma blinked, now looking into Shampoo's eyes as he listened to the
rapidfire thinking going on in Cologne's mind. "Shampoo, Ukyou, I..."

 *RANMA!* A shocked thought from Kasumi and an image. Of looking through
Kasumi's eyes and seeing both her sisters gaping at Shampoo holding Ranma
tightly as he looked into her eyes.

 "RRRRRRRRANMA!!!" Akane started to go ballistic, reconsidered and went to
supraorbital instead. *Jealousy/anger/hate/fear/envy. I worried about him
and here he is flirting with Shampoo!?* "YOU IDIOT!"

 Her fist connected as Ranma tried to free himself. There was a moment of
stabbing pain.
======================================================
 CHOOSE YOUR OWN ENDING! Yes, folks, some of you won't be satisfied with the
way I originally saw this ending, so here are optional endings for this
story line. Just Delete the ones you don't like and you have the way you
prefer the story to end. (Anybody who wants to add additional endings just
send 'em on.)
====================ENDING ONE: ORIGINAL ENDING==============
 Kasumi gripped her sister's shoulder, lending comfort to the stricken
teenager as the cardboard box containing Ranma Saotome went into the
inferno. The ashes would be collected later and the Saotome family shrine
would hold them for awhile before they would be scattered to the wind, to
ride free and unfettered in the air of the Bayankala mountain range. As it
had been where his life had changed so much, it was only fitting.

 Nabiki sniffled a bit as the door shut behind the box.

 Akane, however, was home in her room. Still under sedation. It also kept
her safe from being spatulaed into something you could slip through a
mailslot, or beaten mercilessly by a certain grieving amazon.

 Kodachi was also home, also under sedation. Especially after Tatewaki had
started an especially loud and annoying speech about finally having defeated
the evil Saotome's spell over Akane Tendo. Tatewaki Kuno was currently in
Nerima General having been simultaneously been spatulated, bonboried, and
gymnastic clubbed immediately after having given said speech.

 "He's still with us, you know," Kasumi said, smiling down at her sister.
"I'm sure of it."

 "Yeah, right, Kasumi." Nabiki began the task of putting the Ice Queen mask
on. "S'funny, with you wearing those pants and tying your hair back like
that, you look a bit different."

 "Well," Kasumi shrugged and gave a crooked little smile at her sister, "I'm
an heir to the Anything Goes style too, and my old clothes just didn't work
for that."

 *Kasumi, you think she bought it?*

 *Of course, Ranma-kun. Why wouldn't she?*
=================ENDING #2: Akane-ite Ending=============
 Kasumi hid her feelings on watching the usual morning scene. There was
Ranma sparring with his father. There was Ranma falling into the pond. There
was another casual insult from Akane, followed by the usual thoughtless
response from Ranma.

 Nabiki smirking at the whole thing as she announced she was off to school,
followed by Akane and Ranma going into the "I'm gonna be late now" panic.

 Things were back to normal. Well, mostly back to normal. Nabiki was still
looking at Ranma as if she longed to see something that just wasn't there
anymore. Akane was now striking Ranma on areas besides the head, mainly the
stomach and groin area. Ukyou and Shampoo were trying harder than ever to
insinuate themselves between Akane and Ranma. Ranma complained of headaches
a lot more.

 Kasumi waited for everyone to leave, then quietly slipped her gi back on
and finished her morning katas.

 Yes, everything was back to normal.
=================ENDING #3: DARK ENDING===================
 Akane backed away, staring at her hand as if she couldn't believe what had
just happened.

 Nabiki, cold impersonal Nabiki, had managed to get outside the door of the
Nekohanten where she was being very, very, sick.

 Neither Ukyou nor Shampoo looked particularly healthy at the moment either.

 Mousse made a remark about hearing someone smashing open a pumpkin or
something. The comment was enough to send the unflappable Kasumi from
shocked immobility to join Nabiki outside.

 Cologne looked sadly at the remains of someone she'd actually come to care
about (loudmouthed obnoxious male or not) and started to make plans. There
was little reason to remain here now, Shampoo could return home without
dishonor.

 Akane began to shake her hand, sending little droplets of blood, bone, and
all too easily identifiable matter to the floor. She still stared at it, not
really comprehending what this stuff was.

 Mousse made a mistake. It was an understandable mistake, all things
considered, but it was a mistake nonetheless.  He said two things that he
should not have. If he'd only said one of those things, he might have gotten
off a lot easier.

 "Eeewww. That's a real mess," Mousse said as he stepped in something and
started to scrape it off his shoes. Upon putting his glasses down and seeing
that Ranma's skull had been the bursting pumpkin he'd heard earlier
(hairline fractures adding up to a considerable sum), Mousse said the second
Very Wrong Thing To Say. "Shampoo! Now that he's out of the way, we can be
together!"

 Shampoo and Ukyou took turns beating on Mousse. They'd have beaten on Akane
except that the short haired girl quite obviously was not capable of
noticing at the moment.

 Like Lady Macbeth, Akane was going to be washing that hand for a very long
time, and she would never quite be convinced that it had ever come clean.
====================ENDING #4:THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL US================
 Ranma woke up alone in the hospital. When a nurse came in he flinched when
their eyes met, but nothing happened. This brought a smile to his face more
than the exchanged meaningless pleasantries.

 He waited until the nurse had left before trying something else. *Kasumi?*

 *Ah, Ranma-kun. Are you feeling better? Amusement/worry/exasperation.*

 *I still hurt, but they've apparently got me on medication. Whassup?
Curiosity/reassurance/worry.*

 Kasumi sent a scene from memory.
--------------------
 Her hands stabbing out rapidly into the flames, pulling one after another
of the chestnuts out and flicking them quickly into a pan of cool water.
Pride at having accomplished this, and in only three days!

 Kasumi felt her smile at the accomplishment fade a little as she turned
towards the patio, to see that the others had returned a bit earlier than
expected. Akane's reaction was the most extreme, looking as if she wanted to
cry or run away. Nabiki dropped her rice cracker. The team of Soun and Genma
blinked at her, blinked at each other, and then shrugged as if to say "big
deal." Her father fainting a moment later kind of threw the act off.

 The sound of someone laughing drew everyone's attention to the wall, where
Cologne was looking down on all and sundry. Especially she was regarding
Kasumi.

 "Well, well, child. You are doing exceptionally well indeed." Cologne left
the wall to hop next to Kasumi and look up into her eyes. "Tell me, child,
have you ever considered learning some of the special manuevers? Most of the
amazons learn the Breaking Point as the toughness that manuever develops
makes for easier childbirths. Perhaps the Xi Fang Gao?"

 "You're offering to train me? You took a much different approach with
Ranma..." Kasumi blinked. Why was everyone paying attention to her now? She
preferred to sit at the sidelines. All she had wanted to do was improve her
speed a bit, after all THAT had uses besides fighting.

 "Son-in-law is male and prideful, though that's redundant." Cologne's smile
looked a little wistful. "Also I may, just may, have mishandled the
situation upon arriving."

 "Amazon gift for understatement," mumbled Nabiki though loud enough for it
to carry into the yard.

 "I must say, Tendo-san, you had even me fooled." Cologne snickered at the
jest. "You surprised me, and that's something I get all too little of at my
age."

 "Fooled?" Kasumi knew this was going entirely the wrong way.

 "Fooled?" Akane's voice sounded a little puzzled.

 "Oh yes," Cologne grinned like a wolf. "There's a definite connection
between you and son-in-law, isn't there? I don't know when it developed, I
don't know HOW it developed, but it's a good deal stronger than the
relationship between Akane and Ranma, isn't it?"

 Kasumi stepped back, wondering if the matriarch had learned of the
telepathic connection.
She couldn't have, could she?

 Nabiki started to laugh, then abruptly started choking. Kasumi looked
towards her sister and saw the blood drain from her face. Oh, dear. Akane's
expression wasn't much better.

 "I'm sorry, but Akane is Ranma's fiancee." Kasumi wouldn't mention the link
or that she understood dear sweet Ranma-kun much better now than Akane did.
She was sure that she could get the two of them together now without much
problem. At least unless outside interference...

 "Why would I want to marry that...baka?" Akane's voice didn't have a great
deal of conviction in it and Kasumi noted that the look coming her way from
Akane was filled with new worries.

 Then again, Kasumi began to reconsider the possibilities.

 Cologne shrugged. "Maybe I'm wrong. It wouldn't be the first time. Well,
Tendo-san, consider my offer. It's rare that I get the chance to teach TWO
people with such talent."
--------------------------------------------
 *Oh my.* Ranma summed up.

 *That was pretty much MY reaction.* Kasumi's mental voice paused with a
wave of embarrassment. *Ranma-kun?*

 *Yes, Kasumi-chan?*

 *We're in all sorts of trouble, aren't we?*

 *When they release me, I'd say so. We probably have less than a day to make
plans. On the good news, I no longer have a version of Nabiki, Shampoo,
Ukyou or yourself within me. They are part of me now. I'm not sure how to
feel about that. I can use a spatula or whip up okonomiyaki as well as
Ucchan, I have Nabiki's knowledge of photography if not her skill, I know
the lore and art of the amazons as well as Shampoo does...and I know how to
cook.*

 *Yes, and I was extremely frightened by a cat today. I think I may have the
catfist technique. Ranma? What are we going to do?*

 *Kasumi-chan, I have no idea.*

---------------Ending 5 by Jason Liao----------------------------
Ranma spun around from the blow, his head ringing in pain as turned
towards Akane.

Contact.

---------

Akane stared at her hands as if they were not her own.  How could she have
done such a thing to someone with a head injury?

"Akane..."

How would Ranma think of her now?  Would he forgive her?  Would this be
the end...

"...no..."

Akane glanced up, to see Ranma manifesting a battle aura, and wielding a
mallet.

"...BAKA!!!"

*wham*

======================================
 any other endings are completely optional.

oh, and if CJAngel is still doing the martial arts in Ranma thing (i'm still
doing the fanfic guide to Jusenkyo), then someone with his e-mail can clip &
send:

Amazonian Wu Shu, Gambling Substyle, Nabiki Tendo, A Very Scary Bet,
greggsharp
Amazonian Wu Shu, Grand Tiger Substyle, Vanilla/Rei Ayanami II, A Very Scary
Bet, greggsharp
Amazonian Wu Shu, Household Weapons Substyle, Shammi, Featherbrite's Tale,
greggsharp
Fierce Dragon Style, Akane Tendo, Ryu, Ken Masters, A Very Scary Bet,
greggsharp
Hokuto Shin Ken, Ju Ken (substyle), Kasumi Tendo, A Very Scary Bet,
greggsharp
Nanto Sei Ken, Kodachi Kuno, A Very Scary Bet, greggsharp
Venusian Kung Fu, the Doctor, Ranma Saotome, A Very Scary Bet, greggsharp

these are mentioned as opposed to some of the styles i've put out in the Bet
teasers cause those were one chapter teasers and these two are actually on
the "to continue" list.