MOIRAINE IS OOC
LAN IS OOC
RAND IS OOC
THE WHOLE FIC IS OOC! 
I"M THE STANDARD FOR FANFICTION IS THE NET!! ALIENS CANT CARRY UZI!!
 I'AM NOT CRAZZY!! 
IS THAT THING ON?! 

[Writer pulls out a BFG 1G and starts shooting anyone who read's
fanfics in the net then after that puts the gun in her mouth and pulls
the trigger while being watched by people around the world]

Now Chris-san if you've read this far, this is not A FLAME. Just some
humor on my part. Above is from Chris Carters Mileniume.

Feel free to flame me (Only Chris-san!)

But its true that Moiraine(you also mis spelled that one) Lan and Rand
are OOC. Moiraine and Land showed _too_ much emotions in your fic. For
Moiraine, just try to write Cologne, and there you'll get Moiraine.
For Lan, the grins, stares, etc OOC for him. Come on! A rock has more
emotions that good ole Lan! For Rand, well his not actually OOC but
the scene when Rand tells Ranma and Mat about Tam being sick, he did
ran all the way from home. Thats miles, carrying Tam on his
back(figuratively) and he didn"t have any lunch the whole day. Plus
seeing fables come to life... shell shock is the right emotion for
Rand. Use the 1st book for a guide.

On the Sprites, how can they survive on a none Mainframe world?
Correct me if i'm wrong, but from what i know, Sprite's, Binomes,
Viruses. etc that came from Mainframe are made up of 1's and 0's. They
live inside a mainframe! A Real mainframe. They are just program. 1's
and 0's. Get it? 

My idea is just turn them into Humans. Plain and Simple. 

And also their powers, etc cant work on a none Mainframe world. It
Might work for some time, or just not running at full power not what
you wrote.

Rule of Different Universe Applies.
     
For Ranma and Co. Almost all their skills are from ki based abilities
(super streght, able to jump high, etc) but HammerSpace (TM) wont
work. It just like the principle as for the Sprites, HammerSpace(TM)
only work's on an Anime-vers environment. You can let them draw them
out only once but after that, they'll just have to carry it around
their stuffs. (Jeez Ukyou this grill is so heavy) 

Emonds Fielders reaction to the "Band"(call Matrix and all) was kinda
wrong for people isolated for 700 years ("It was almost 6-7
generations since a tax man from Baerlon came down from the mountain
to your land, young man" from the part where Rand wonders into the
Royal palace of Caemlyn and tried to pass himself of as a royal
Androman to the Then-Queen Morgase). Out right alienation and fear
would set things right. (Light what beings are those?!)

The story itself.. A re-hash of Differing Powers. Sorry but tis true
me lord. Try to me a new entry point for the Band. Dont copy it.
Make your own story. (Even though copying is the best form of
flattery.) Prove ourself to the FFML as a Writer.

If memory serves me right, you can use the Portal Stones near the Dark
Wood(Book 2) as the Bands landing place. Then have them hike to Two
Rivers. Travel time: 1-2 weeks tops. Lots of time for the Band to
adjust to the alien world.

The spellings of terms are also a problem. Almost all of WOT terms are
misspelled. Use the glossary at the end of the book. Thats what i use.

All in all its a bad reading for me. For ME!! WOT is too serious for
Anime and Reboot is an CGI show. Ranma and Reboot is okay. But the
with WOT... WOT will be the one setting the fics overall feel. 


Well i rent my case.


 

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