Well, other than Andrew's point (which is valid), I'll continue my 

 

AD 2045

Alpha Crusis system

I have somewhat of a problem with this.  I can't see Terran technology
advancing to the point of a FTL/Warp system that soon.  Additionally,
I would think that they would run into a problem in the outer section
of the Sol system rather than anything.  While this may be just my
opinion as a writer, I just thought I'd mention it as food for thought.

Akagi-class heavy patrol cruiser Maya Ibuki

 First Officer

On most naval vessels (and thus, a carryover into stellar naval
vessels), the First Officer is called the Executive Officer.  First
Officer is a Star Trek-ism.

 Mishima shrugged from his position at the helm station

just forward of the captain.  "Oh, I don't know.  Would you consider a
possible pirate sighting 'good?'"
 "Good, no. Worth waking me up, yeah."  Ichijo punched up his

terminal's

holodisplay.  "How big a ship?"
 "Unsure.  The sensors only got a split-second shot of it before it
disappeared.  We did, however, get a probable vector."  Mishima

tapped a

sequence of keys, feeding the coordinates to Ichijo's console.  "Shall
we pursue?"
 Ichijo grunted, then nodded.  "Initiate.  I think you can handle this
without me; I'll be in my quarters."

The CO of a ship is found in the Captain's cabin.

  He rose from the command chair; as

he left the bridge, Mishima eased himself into it and ordered to the
ensign who took his place, "Helm, initiate pursuit along vector
one-nine-six by two-five, full speed."

Again, a Star Trekism.  Enlisted personnel handle the helm on ships. 
It would be a petty officer, a seaman, or an able seaman.  Since I
used to be a helmsman on frigates, I know this. ^_^

* * *

"Captain to the bridge!  Captain to the bridge!"
 Cursing, Ichijo swatted at the com toggle on his nightstand.  "What

the

hell is it now?"
 Mishima's voice was calm as usual, but there was an undercurrent tone
of nervousness that Ichijo had never heard before.  "Just.... just get
up here, sir.  Bring the Special Access key with you."
 "My Special Acc--"  Ichijo felt a sudden shiver work its way down his
spine.  The only reason he'd need his Special Access key was if he
needed to unlock the positironic or progressive weapons.... or the
Special Emergency manual....the one that contained all known data

about

the An--
 He shook his head.  Mishima was probably just being cautious, like a
good first officer.

XO.

  Still, he grabbed the key on his way out the door.

 That hope was dashed when he stepped through the blast doors onto the
bridge.  All it took was one look at the screen to confirm his
nightmares.  He fumbled with the key, finally fitting it into the
Classified Materials box under one arm of his chair.  A quarter-turn,
and the compartment opened, a thick tome spilling out.
 All eyes were on Ichijo as he settled into his chair, the book

sitting

in his lap.  He then flipped open the book and thumbed through the

pages

until he came to a match for the image on the screen.  He motioned
Mishima and the operations officer, Kojiro, over to him.
"Confirmation."  He handed the book to Mishima.  "Confirmed by first
officer?"
 Mishima gulped and nodded.  "I concur, sir."
 The book was then passed to Kojiro.  "Confirmed by second officer?"

No Second Officer on military vessels.

 Kojiro looked even less at ease.  " I-I c-concur, sir."
 Ichijo sighed. Sweating, he slid the Special Access key into the
appropriate lock and gave it another quarter-turn.  Across the bridge,
on the main weapons station, a row of lights, normally darkened, lit

up

blue.  He cursed himself for not having demanded a squadron of
Evangelions when being sent on this patrol.  No one ever thought we'd
really need them again.  We should have known better....
 "Send to NERV Command, Earth."  Ichijo was shaking as he said the

words

no one ever thought would be said again.  "Pattern Blue detected.
Confirmed Angel sighting.
 "Address it to the High Command."
 Ichijo settled back in his command chair, feeling almost relieved.
"All personnel to battle stations.

The correct term is "General Quarters."

  All weapons to full combat status,

and raise the AT field.  Let's get this bastard."


NERV Central Command Headquarters (Celestial Dogma), Geofront 1,
Tokyo-4, Earth


 The phone in Shinji Ikari's bedroom rang.
 Grumbling, he sat up and swatted at the speaker button.  "Ikari."
 "Shinji, hi.  Sorry to wake you up...."
 Shinji rubbed the sleep from his eyes.  "It's okay, Kensuke, but this
better be good.  I have to talk to the Committee at 8 A.M., and they
won't be very happy with me if I'm not fully awake."
 Kensuke Aida, Vice-commander of NERV and longtime friend of its

current

commander, sighed.  "It's not good, but it's important."
 "What is it?"
 "Pattern Blue detected by a cruiser off Alpha Crucis.  We picked up
their burst message about five minutes ago.  No messages since; I

think

the cruiser probably engaged and lost."
 Shinji exhaled slowly.  "All right.  I want the High Command in
briefing room one in twenty minutes.... everyone."
 Kensuke cleared his throat.  "Everyone, sir?  Including both Doctor
Ayanami and Colonel Langley?"
 "Yes," said Shinji before he could change his mind.  "After the brief
I'll definitely have to talk to the Committee.  I'll need you to take
care of things in my absence."
 "Of course," acknowledged Kensuke.  "I'll see you in twenty."  The
phone circuit clicked off.  Shinji stumbled toward the shower.
 As he dressed before the mirror seven minutes later, he looked at
himself in the mirror.
Shinji Ikari looked more like his father than he cared to admit, but

he

had gone to great pains to look and be different. He wore a mustache
instead of a goatee, and he didn't wear tinted glasses or a white
glove.  When he had taken over NERV, one of the first things he'd done
was abolish all uniforms except for military ones (for NERV personnel
who were also attached to other defense agencies), and he wore a

simple

white lab coat over slacks and a buttondown shirt.  His tie was
deliberately loose, an homage to Ryoji Kaji, the only other man who

had

been anything close to a father figure to him.
 His command style was far different than his father's, as well.  The
cold, unexplaining manipulation that had been Gendo Ikari's trademark
had been replaced by something far more relaxed.  NERV's personnel had
always done what they were told out of duty, but under Commander

Shinji

Ikari, there was more.  They genuinely liked him, and they knew that

he

was looking out for their best interests.
 If only my first marriage had been so successful....
 Smirking wryly at that, Shinji gave his tie a last downward tug and
headed out the door.

 He stepped through the door to briefing room one to find the High
Command waiting for him as he slipped into the chair at the head of

the

table.
 On his right was Kensuke, in the appropriate place for the executive
officer.  While his fascination with all things military and female

had

not died, it had been tempered with maturity and experience--at least
the first had been.  His wife Aoi had taken care of the second.
 On Shinji's right sat Colonel Asuka Soryu-Langley, NERV's Director of
Operations and chief military liaison.  She only met Shinji's eyes

for a

moment before sniffing and turning away.  Shinji winced inwardly.  I
guess all is not forgiven yet....
 One down from Asuka was Doctor Rei Ayanami, head of research and
development for NERV.  She spared a quick smile for Shinji before
lowering her eyes to her comp-pad.  To Shinji, the smile said, Sorry
I've been working so late, honey.  I promise I'll be home tonight.
 Down one from Kensuke was Lyn Anouilh, chief of Technical Services,

the

branch of NERV that built and repaired the devices that Rei's branch
developed. Half-French, half-English, and all soft-spoken, he had met
Shinji fifteen years ago during an arms conference in Geneva.  Shinji
had been impressed with him and had immediately hired him.  That was a
decision he had not regretted.
 Completing the circuit was Toji Horaki, at the far end of the table.
Toji and Hikari had married soon after high school and had lived
together happily until the day a Canadian terrorist group had taken

the

occupants of a New Shinjuku mall hostage--including Hikari and their
three-year-old daughter, Mari.  When the police had tried to move in,
the terrorists had blown the mall.  Toji had gone to his old friend to
ask for a job that would allow him to keep that from happening to

other

families.  Shinji had hired him on as chief of tactical planning,

Chief of Tactical Planning.  It's a title, so it should be capped.

 one of

many bones of contention between him and Asuka, in spite of the fact
that Toji quickly proved himself competent.
 Shinji looked around the table and nodded.  "Ladies, gentlemen, thank
you for coming.  I apologize for dragging you in here at this ungodly
hour, bu--"
 Asuka glared at him.  "Would you shut up and get on with it?"
  Shinji met her glare full force, waiting until she reluctantly broke
her gaze away, and then continued, "At 0434 this morning, we

received a

burst signal from the Maya Ibuki, on patrol in the Alpha Crusis

system.

The message stated that the Ibuki had encountered a confirmed Pattern
Blue.  Contact with the ship was lost soon afterwards."
 His blue eyes were filled with trepidation.  "Ladies and gentlemen, I
think we may be at war again."

End part 1

Author's notes: Well, here it is.  You know where to send C&C.

All in all, a good start.  Other than the naval gaffes (common, since
most layman knowledge of the military tends to be army-related)
they're fine.  However, I gave my opinions as an American Sailor, and
someone else from another navy (or maybe a fellow squidling,
bubblehead, etc. ^_^ from the Nav) may have other information for you
on this.

Hoping to see more of this.
===
--Rob (The journey, not the destination, becomes a source of
wonder.--Loreena McKennit)
ashita@cchono.com, ashita@rocketmail.com, AIM: CaliCatCaf
The California Cat Cafe Online: http://www.geocities.com/~calicatcafe
The World of Studio YOGIPIGS: http://www.bigfoot.com/~StudioYOGIPIGS
Sailor Moon AX:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Pagoda/2314/sailormoon_ax/
A Long Strange Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/nekohanten/
Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so.
-- Douglas Adams
_________________________________________________________
DO YOU YAHOO!?
Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com