Comments and Impressions

Subject: [FFML] [Fanfic][Ranma] The Taming of the Horse chapter 7: 

Mating

The Taming of the Horse

    ~~~~~ Chapter 7: Mating ~~~~~

         Encouraging breeding can be quite frustrating for the
    equestrian...  a stallion often appears to insist on his own
    choice in mates, foiling the careful plans of the would-be
    horse breeder even as he rejects the selection of mates made
    available... Sometimes a healthy animal will refuse to breed
    for no apparent reason.  The only remedy in such cases is
    patience, as punishment is useless...

         -- from Chapter 7

*Heh.  My ex-SO has horses, and her family just went through a bear of a 
time trying to get a foal.*

    "Quite," Kasumi said, "but look on the bright side.  It's a
good thing the Neko-ken hasn't affected his sexuality, or you'd
be in real trouble."

*By any chance, have you been reading Lord Archive's stuff?*

    "There's one other thing."  Kasumi went quite pink and
looked down at her hands.  "I'm not a professional," she said
slowly, choosing her words with great care.  "I don't think there
are any professionals who would know what to do for Ranma.  I am
not recommending this, mind you.  It might do more harm than
good, I don't know.  But you might not want to rule out the
possibility of... of making, ah, advances to Ranma in... in her
female form."

    Akane met her sister's eyes.  She didn't say anything.  She
didn't have to.  "Ah," Kasumi said carefully.  "I see."

    Akane's blush deepened.  "I'm not a..." she explained
hastily.  "I don't feel, um, that way about girls.  Just... Just
Ranma.  Sometimes.  Sort of."

*Good call.  Feels just about perfect.*

    Genma pushed his glasses up his nose.  "I knew it was a
mistake to let you go to that girls' school," he said to Ranma.
"How can you let your iinazuke shield you from your
responsibilities?  It's a good thing your mother can't see what's
become of her once-manly son."

*You know, I have to be careful about reading some fics at work.  
Co-workers get nervous about folks who scream "Kill him!  Kick his ass!" 
in the middle of the day....*

    "Father, how could you?!  And you, you, you beast, how could
you be so cruel to your son?!"  Soun and Genma looked up at
Kasumi's anguished face, and the magnitude of their error slowly
dawned on them.  Kasumi whirled and vanished into the kitchen.
She reappeared a moment later.  "Supper will be rice and water,"
she said coldly.  She vanished again.

*Expect grief over the Kasumi characterization.  I think it's in line 
with how you've portrayed her to date, but I think maybe the build-up 
could have been smoother.*

    "Hey, I just watched you use the Saotome Secret Technique on
our fathers.  It worked, too."

    Ranma smiled, finally.  "I guess it did.  No way was I gonna
use the Crouching Tiger."

*Chuckle.*

    Akane patted his shoulder.  "I know."  *You want to be
friends with everyone, and hardly anyone lets you,* she thought.
"Well, your father got you into this mess... maybe your mother
can get you out?"

*And thunder rumbles.  More on this later.*

    "But you haven't actually lied to her, have you?" Nodoka
asked anxiously.  "She just jumped to conclusions and you didn't
correct them?"

*Gee, are we maybe projecting just wee little bit, here, hmmmm...?*

    Nodoka shrugged.  "Very well, dear.  There's no need to
'dump' them.  You can keep them as concubines.  A real man among
men should be able to satisfy more than one woman..."  She
ignored the hairs springing out from Akane's head and the thump
as Ranma fell over sideways, lost in her visions of the future:

         Nodoka sat chatting with Kodachi over an English-style
    tea, holding a small pigtailed boy on her lap while, beyond
    them, a nurse rocked a cradle.  The boy clutched a small
    bokken with a bow tied around it.  On the wall was a framed
    photo of Ranma in a tuxedo and Kodachi in a gown, with Ranma
    holding an elbow out for Kodachi's hand.

         In the room over the Ucchan, Ukyo held a baby in her
    arms for Nodoka to coo over.  On the wall was a framed photo
    of Ukyo behind the grill, smiling at Ranma, who was sitting
    in front of the grill, smiling at the camera, and holding up
    two fingers.

         Nodoka knelt to give a doll to a young girl with short
    purple hair while Shampoo swung a boy toddler in circles.
    On the wall of the Nekohanten was a framed photo of Ranma in
    a ready stance, stripped to the waist and smiling grimly.

    "Oh, so many grandchildren!" Nodoka whispered happily, while
Akane gritted her teeth and grabbed Ranma by the pigtail to haul
him back up to a sitting position.  "Ow!" he started, but Akane's
glare quelled him instantly.

*Bravo.  I've seen a few too many fics where Nodoka immediately handed 
down a brilliant solution that does the job so well it leaves everyone 
else scratching their heads trying to figure out why _they_ didn't think 
of it.  This is a much more likely handling of anyone in the 
Takahashiverse.*

    Ranma twitched.  "It sucks," he said flatly.  "Kuno'd be
after me with a real katana all the time, Shampoo'd never settle
for less than 'tai-tai', and..." His voice stopped for a moment,
and Akane started to worry again.  "Shit, I hope she don't
suggest it to Ukyo," he resumed, "because I think she'd go for
it."

*Heh.  A blend of honest opinion and inflated ego, methinks.*

    "Mallets," Ranma blurted.  "Tables, shinai, frying pans,
walls, floors, ceilings, stone lanterns... uh..."  Akane searched
his face.  Not quite the answer she'd been hoping for, but it'd
have to do.  She smiled a little and laid her cheek against his
chest again.  *Whew.  I can't believe I got it right that time.*

*I think this is a much better handling of the "hit me" syndrome--it 
makes it clear that this is simply how Ranma interprets things.*

    "Right answer... partner.  Tickle me some more?"

*Awwww... ripening limes, how sweet.*

    Ukyo snorted.  "I'm not gonna tell you to slit your belly."
She paused.  "I wouldn't do that to Akane.  She's always been
nicer to me than I expected, given that we had you between us.  I
tried to hate her when I saw you two in the dojo, but... but I
couldn't.  It was so right. It was just what I wanted for myself.
There was no way I could believe I had any chance at all after
seeing that."  Ukyo stood up shakily.  "So go back to her.
I'll... I'll wait some more.  Maybe you'll come to your senses.
Maybe I will.  Maybe something terrible will happen, and you'll
be glad of a second-string fiancee."

    Ranma looked up, shocked.  "Ukyo, I don't want you to do
that.  You deserve--"

    "It's not about what you want any more, Ranma," Ukyo
interrupted.  "I'm doing what I want."  She picked up her spatula
and walked away.  Ranma watched Ukyo's upright figure fade into
the gray curtain of the rain, and was grateful for the raindrops
running down her cheeks.

*Bravo #2.  An excellent, balanced portrayal of Ukyou--four spatulas!*

    Akane dropped off the last roof and raced across the chosen
battleground.  She stopped at the proper spot and turned.  Ranma
turned with her.  They watched Shampoo leap to the ground and
stalk forward, carrying her bonbori.  Akane took up a defensive
posture, left hand out and right hand back, and sensed Ranma
matching her to her left.  She concentrated and her aura flared
warm against her skin.  She felt it flow up against Ranma's.
Air, heated on one side and cooled on the other, began to
circulate between them.  *He's not starting a Niryu Totsu Ha,
though.  Good.*

*I really don't want to start this fssking thread again, but I could 
barely recognize the name here--are you refering to the Hiryuu Shouten 
Ha?*

    "Oh, no.  That would only work once.  No, we just cut the
man in half.  It's much simpler that way."

    Akane stared in disbelief.  "I ain't immigratin'," Ranma
muttered.

    Cologne shook her head.  "You youngsters.  No sense of humor
at all.  It was a JOKE, sonny."  She hopped over to Mousse and
tapped him on the shoulder.  Mousse flexed his right arm
carefully, tucked Shampoo's bonbori away in his robe, then picked
Shampoo up and stood.  "Take her to the Nekohanten," Cologne
commanded.  "I'll be along in a minute."

*Bwahahah!  I loved this exchange.*

    Cologne cackled.  "You silver-tongued devil.  If I were
fifty years younger..."  She ignored Ranma's shudder and turned
to Akane.  "Remember what I said, Akane.  I think we will meet
again."  She hopped after Mousse.

    Akane watched her go, then turned to Ranma and embraced him
tightly.  He hugged her back.  "Let's go home," she said quietly.

    "Sure.  Your place or mine?"

    "'You silver-tongued devil.'"

*Snicker.*

    ~~~~~ end of Mating ~~~~~

Next: About what you'd expect from the title, give or take a few
conversations,
in Chapter 8: Wedding
to be posted tomorrow since this part was so long.

And once again, excellent stuff.  Thanks for a great 
Christmas-day-at-work read.

--Freemage

Vince Seifert    Network Analyst     seifertv@csus.edu
http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/  updated 1998Jun04
CSUS hired me to build their network, not to speak for the university.

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