On Fri, 25 Dec 1998, Freemage . wrote:

Comments and Impressions

    "Quite," Kasumi said, "but look on the bright side.  It's a
good thing the Neko-ken hasn't affected his sexuality, or you'd
be in real trouble."

*By any chance, have you been reading Lord Archive's stuff?*

You betcha.  I couldn't resist slipping in a tip o' the hat, even long
before I considered posting TotH.

    "There's one other thing."  Kasumi went quite pink and
looked down at her hands.  "I'm not a professional," she said
slowly, choosing her words with great care.  "I don't think there
are any professionals who would know what to do for Ranma.  I am
not recommending this, mind you.  It might do more harm than
good, I don't know.  But you might not want to rule out the
possibility of... of making, ah, advances to Ranma in... in her
female form."

    Akane met her sister's eyes.  She didn't say anything.  She
didn't have to.  "Ah," Kasumi said carefully.  "I see."

    Akane's blush deepened.  "I'm not a..." she explained
hastily.  "I don't feel, um, that way about girls.  Just... Just
Ranma.  Sometimes.  Sort of."

*Good call.  Feels just about perfect.*

For Kasumi, or Akane, or both?  I had to tinker with it a lot before it
felt right.  For the record (I've been watching the messages on this topic
go by with more than the usual interest, of course), TotH Akane is neither
lesbian nor bisexual... but her attraction to Ranma is so powerful that it
is colliding with her sexual identity and winning, much as it overcame her
initial dislike and resentment of Ranma. 

This will show up again, of course.

    Genma pushed his glasses up his nose.  "I knew it was a
mistake to let you go to that girls' school," he said to Ranma.
"How can you let your iinazuke shield you from your
responsibilities?  It's a good thing your mother can't see what's
become of her once-manly son."

*You know, I have to be careful about reading some fics at work.  
Co-workers get nervous about folks who scream "Kill him!  Kick his ass!" 
in the middle of the day....*

Yes, well, we know how you feel about Genma, don't we.  Brrr.  ;)
Genma's hard for me to write.  He's about the only member of the cast that
I can't sympathize with.  Mr. Harnum may have changed that, though.

    "Father, how could you?!  And you, you, you beast, how could
you be so cruel to your son?!"  Soun and Genma looked up at
Kasumi's anguished face, and the magnitude of their error slowly
dawned on them.  Kasumi whirled and vanished into the kitchen.
She reappeared a moment later.  "Supper will be rice and water,"
she said coldly.  She vanished again.

*Expect grief over the Kasumi characterization.  I think it's in line 
with how you've portrayed her to date, but I think maybe the build-up 
could have been smoother.*

I doubt there's anything about TotH that can't be improved.  The only
question is whether I can figure out how to do it.

There are certain things I need Kasumi to do in this plot.  "Rice and
water" isn't one of them, and I can lose it easily.  It just seemed to me
that Kasumi's entitled to lose her temper under the circumstances, and
what she did was more in character than a mallet... but maybe less in
character than not enough dashi in the miso soup.

    "But you haven't actually lied to her, have you?" Nodoka
asked anxiously.  "She just jumped to conclusions and you didn't
correct them?"

*Gee, are we maybe projecting just wee little bit, here, hmmmm...?*

I beg your pardon; your meaning escapes me.  Please elaborate?

The Ranma-Ukyo-Genma-Nodoka axis is just terribly messy.  I may not have
written Nodoka's reaction well, but it seemed to me that she would be
primarily concerned with keeping it from getting messier, in a sort of
"perhaps the horse will learn to sing" sort of way.  She would want it to
look less messy than it was.

    "Oh, so many grandchildren!" Nodoka whispered happily, while
Akane gritted her teeth and grabbed Ranma by the pigtail to haul
him back up to a sitting position.  "Ow!" he started, but Akane's
glare quelled him instantly.

*Bravo.  I've seen a few too many fics where Nodoka immediately handed 
down a brilliant solution that does the job so well it leaves everyone 
else scratching their heads trying to figure out why _they_ didn't think 
of it.  This is a much more likely handling of anyone in the 
Takahashiverse.*

This is actually one of the very first scenes that bubbled up and insisted
on being written down.  It IS a brillant solution.  To Nodoka.  To
Ranma...

    Ranma twitched.  "It sucks," he said flatly.  "Kuno'd be
after me with a real katana all the time, Shampoo'd never settle
for less than 'tai-tai', and..." His voice stopped for a moment,
and Akane started to worry again.  "Shit, I hope she don't
suggest it to Ukyo," he resumed, "because I think she'd go for
it."

*Heh.  A blend of honest opinion and inflated ego, methinks.*

I take it you're agreeing with the characterization, then?  :)

    "Mallets," Ranma blurted.  "Tables, shinai, frying pans,
walls, floors, ceilings, stone lanterns... uh..."  Akane searched
his face.  Not quite the answer she'd been hoping for, but it'd
have to do.  She smiled a little and laid her cheek against his
chest again.  *Whew.  I can't believe I got it right that time.*

*I think this is a much better handling of the "hit me" syndrome--it 
makes it clear that this is simply how Ranma interprets things.*

I think Ranma and Akane's relationship will always involve yelling and
hitting.  It's just the kind of people they are.  "Sunao ja nai,
watashitachi..."

Uh, which reminds me: is it clear enough that that's Ranma's thought?

    "Right answer... partner.  Tickle me some more?"

*Awwww... ripening limes, how sweet.*

It gets limier later.  I'm pretty sure it never crosses over into lemon,
though.  I find imagination much more erotic than display... in fiction,
anyway.  ;)

    "It's not about what you want any more, Ranma," Ukyo
interrupted.  "I'm doing what I want."  She picked up her spatula
and walked away.  Ranma watched Ukyo's upright figure fade into
the gray curtain of the rain, and was grateful for the raindrops
running down her cheeks.

*Bravo #2.  An excellent, balanced portrayal of Ukyou--four spatulas!*

*whew*.  Ukyo's hard for me to write.  I'm glad it worked for you.

Air, heated on one side and cooled on the other, began to
circulate between them.  *He's not starting a Niryu Totsu Ha,
though.  Good.*

*I really don't want to start this fssking thread again, but I could 
barely recognize the name here--are you refering to the Hiryuu Shouten 
Ha?*

No.  Translates as "two lunging dragon strike", more or less.  It's
original: a two-person ki attack.

I can lose the line if necessary.  It was meant as a hint that R&A have
been preparing some surprises for anyone who tries to give them grief.

    Cologne shook her head.  "You youngsters.  No sense of humor
at all.  It was a JOKE, sonny."  She hopped over to Mousse and
tapped him on the shoulder.  Mousse flexed his right arm
carefully, tucked Shampoo's bonbori away in his robe, then picked
Shampoo up and stood.  "Take her to the Nekohanten," Cologne
commanded.  "I'll be along in a minute."

*Bwahahah!  I loved this exchange.*

Cologne is such a great old bat.  :)

After what almost happened to Shampoo-- and what might have happened
immediately thereafter to Ranma, and maybe to Akane, if it had-- I felt
a quick dose of humor was necessary.

And once again, excellent stuff.  Thanks for a great 
Christmas-day-at-work read.

You are most welcome.  Thanks for the comments.

Vince Seifert    Network Analyst     seifertv@csus.edu
http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/  updated 1998Jun04
CSUS hired me to build their network, not to speak for the university.