On Thu, 24 Dec 1998, Christopher Angel wrote:
Hmmm...a new Ranma 1/2 contination...*yawn* <Delete>.
Hey, I warned y'all in the foreword. What happens afterward ain't my
fault.
Well, that's what I thought at first, anyway. Then, I got _really_ bored,
saw there were 6 chapters, and said, "Why not?"
Good thing I have a trashcan, ne?
Paper bad. Bits good.
Actually, this is one of the more entertaining R1/2 continuations I've seen
in a while. The writing's good, the characters seem more or less on target.
Well...I'd lean towards less - they're a bit much like Lawson's
characterizations in my opinion.
I've read Mr. Lawson's fanfics, so I can't refute your opinion. 7 and 9
may surprise you, though.
Now, for some C&C (listen up, Vincent):
Yessir! :)
1) Ranma's referring to his mother as "momma" all the time seems wrong,
especially considering all the Japanese-in-english you have in the fiction.
Well, I did consider using "ofukuro" throughout (Ranma seems pretty
consistent about this), but I decided that while use of Japanese words for
things that don't have good English equivalents is essential, and
occasional use of Japanese words for things that are Japanese but do have
good English equivalents is OK, particularly if the word is not obscure,
"Momma" worked better than "Ofukuro" for this usage because "Ofukuro" is a
tad obscure.
2) His reactions considering defending his mother's honor seem bang on - but
why would he accept all those gifts of catering for the whole house? Seems
a bit like refusing the bribe with one hand while taking it with the other.
I think I addressed this in one of Ranma's thought-bubbles: once she
accepted them, he felt the matter was out of his hands. The question then
becomes "why did she accept them?" That one I didn't address; is it
necessary to?
3) As I said before, everyone (especially Ranma & Akane) are a might too
reasonable, in my opinion.
I thought about this too. When I started writing, my guideline was "what
might a manga continuation of Ranma 1/2 be like if it was aimed at an
older target audience? Say, Maison Ikkoku's?" I can't say I stuck to
that, of course. I will plead guilty to a lesser charge, that of making
the cast slightly MORE reasonable, but I must balk at TOO reasonable.
The aftermath of Jusendo would have had effects on everyone who was there.
These kids have had their noses rubbed in their own mortality, and it's
time for them to start growing up.
Also, I think that one of the main sources of friction between Ranma and
Akane was Akane's growing realization that she was in love with a baka who
showed no signs of loving her back. After Jusendo, she's certain he is in
love with her, even if he won't admit it, and that knowledge shatters that
particular source of friction.
4) Finally, good work...keep it up.
I hope to. Thank you for your comments, I really appreciate your taking
the time to post them.
Vince Seifert Network Analyst seifertv@csus.edu
http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/ updated 1998Jun04
CSUS hired me to build their network, not to give away the homeworld.