Subject: [FFML][Eva] Apocrypha, ep. 4
From: Shachihoko
Date: 12/24/1998, 7:32 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

[Note(s) to the FFML:
	As usual, I am looking for any and all C&C that I can get on this
chapter of Apocrypha before I move it to "release version" status. This
version is not to be posted on any web pages before I declare it the
release version, and even then, I'd appreciate it if people ask permission
before posting.
	Also: since a bunch of people are away from the FFML at this point
thanks to winter break, I'm going to re-post this chapter sometime in mid
to late January. Don't let that stop you from sending C&C now, though - if
I get comments that I can work with, the "repost" in January will
incorporate the C&C that I receive in the meantime.
	The webpage where you can find the previous chapters is mentioned
in the "Author's Foreword."
	Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone!]


AUTHOR'S FOREWORD:
        If you wish to contact me by e-mail, my address is:
        trmiller@bcpl.net
        Previous episodes of this series may be found at:
        http://www.bcpl.net/~trmiller/fanfics/apocrypha.html

        Neon Genesis Evangelion: Apocrypha              by Tim Miller

        Chapter 4:
                        "My Last Gift to You"

        Michael sat at the desk in his quarters, staring at the blank pages. 
It'd been three weeks now since he'd gotten this journal - four weeks since 
his inexplicable arrival in Tokyo-3 - and he still hadn't written even a 
single letter in the journal.
        It wasn't for lack of time, although his schedule had certainly been 
full enough for the past month: if he wasn't eating or sleeping, he was 
sitting in Eva-04's entry plug, undergoing intensive combat training, or he 
was in the test plug getting his synchronization ratio measured, or he was 
getting drilled in Japanese, both verbal and in print. That was part of the 
question for him, actually - Michael didn't even know whether he should keep 
the journal in English or in Japanese, although he was thinking more and more 
frequently in Japanese rather than in English. 
        (Not that it makes much of a difference,) he thought quietly as he 
fiddled with a pen. (English, Japanese, or whatever - they'd probably figure 
out how to read it if they wanted to. Besides, what should I write?)
        As though in answer to his question, there was a knock at the door. 
"May I come in?" a man asked in Japanese.
        "Enter," Michael replied in kind, recognizing Kaji's voice, and the 
door slid open.
        "How're you doing?" Kaji asked as he stepped into the room, letting 
the door close behind him.
        "Well enough," Michael answered as he turned to look at Kaji. "Having 
a little trouble with the journal, though."
        "It's not like you don't have anything to write about," Kaji noted. 
"I'd have thought being an Evangelion pilot is interesting in itself."
        "Training, training, training, testing, training, learning Japanese, 
training, training ... isn't there a pattern in there somewhere?" Michael let 
out a short, quiet laugh. "If I'd been in battle yet, *that* might be 
interesting enough to write about ..."
        "Except that would be recording classified information, and I doubt 
Ikari would be happy about it," Kaji chuckled faintly as he sat down on 
Michael's bed. "Your Japanese is coming along very well, by the way."
        Michael nodded. "Thank you ... I hope my accent isn't too bad."
        Kaji chuckled again. "I don't think anyone's going to hold it against 
you."
        "True ..." Michael glanced down at his arm, most of which was left 
bare by the short sleeves of his shirt. "You just have to look to know I'm 
gaijin."
        "You look more like Japanese than some people around here," Kaji told 
him. "And nobody's going to hold your birth against you either, not around 
here."
        "Not even Asuka?" Michael had discovered that no matter what time of 
the month it was, Asuka was still prone to irate outbursts; as the newcomer, 
Michael was her favored target. On the other hand, even Asuka had helped him 
learn more Japanese over the past weeks.
        "Asuka's really not as bad as she sounds, Mike," Kaji told the boy. 
"Give her time to get used to having you around; I think once she figures out 
that harsh language isn't going to drive you away, she'll give up and start 
being friendly."
        "If this is how she treats someone she doesn't know," Michael 
considered, "I'd hate to see how she treats someone she doesn't like."
        "Actually, she acts like she knows you pretty well," Kaji corrected 
him. "She's not casually rude to strangers - only people she knows won't take 
it too personally, people who'll either deflect it or retaliate in kind. Have 
you seen how she treats Commander Ikari?"
        "I haven't seen how *anyone* treats Commander Ikari." Michael leaned 
back in his chair. "In fact, other than that one meeting when I was declared 
the Fifth Child, and once or twice in passing, I haven't seen Ikari, period. 
Sometimes I wonder if he even exists."
        "He exists," Kaji smiled faintly. "He's a very private man, though - 
and one has to be, in his position."
        Michael nodded quietly. "Does he open up to anyone? Even Shinji?"
        "Just Fuyutsuki ... Commander Ikari and his son don't get along very 
well." Kaji glanced away for a moment. "Although sometimes I wonder if Yui 
would make a difference, if she were here."
        "Who?"
        "Ikari Yui - Shinji's mother, the Commander's wife. She was supposed 
to have died during one of the early experiments on the Eva project."
        Michael straightened up, looking at Kaji. "Shinji's mom ... died? Or 
just disappeared?"
        Kaji shrugged. "At most, only a few people know for sure. That was a 
long time ago, though - well before I became part of NERV. But according to 
official records, Ikari Yui is dead."
        Michael glanced down at his hands. "Like me ..."
        "Beg pardon?"
        "When the Second Branch disappeared, wasn't everyone officially 
presumed dead - including me - who was there at the time?"
        "That's a little different -"
        "How so?" Michael looked into Kaji's eyes, his gaze extraordinarily 
piercing for a boy his age. "What is the difference between myself and 
Shinji's mother?"
        "Because you *are* alive, Michael. I can have someone check your 
status in American records if you'd like, and if necessary, I can help you 
start the official process to correct your status. Ikari Yui, on the other 
hand, is gone - completely. That much I know for certain. If anything's left 
of her, it's irretrievable." Kaji glanced at the computer terminal which sat 
on a corner of Michael's desk. "When did you get the computer installed?"
        "A week and a half ago," Michael answered. "I've turned it on maybe 
twice since it was set up ... mostly to practice my Japanese, as it turns 
out."
        Kaji nodded, standing up. "Let me show you something ... may I?" He 
gestured at the terminal.
        "By all means ..." Michael reached over and pressed the computer's 
power switch, bringing it up to active mode.
        "You can reset the language interface if you want," Kaji said as he 
watched the computer's boot screens scroll past. "Japanese, English, German, 
Sanskrit - almost any language. - Ah, here ..." He typed in a command, and the
screen shifted. "This puts it in English language mode. To change back to 
Japanese, or to any other language, just hold down Control-Shift-F4, and 
select a new language from the menu. It's limited to the major languages, 
though."
        Michael nodded, bringing the menu up again. "Thanks ..."
        "Don't count on being able to play video games, though."
        "Like I have time for that," Michael laughed dryly. "At least now I 
can work on any homework I get ... assuming I ever get started in school 
here."
        "You might ask Misato about that," Kaji noted. "Or you could send her 
some e-mail."
        Michael looked up at Kaji. "They have e-mail here?"
        "I don't think the Internet was designed to survive something like 
Second Impact, but it came through anyhow," Kaji replied. "E-mail isn't used 
very much in NERV, mostly for security reasons ... but it has its uses."
        "I had an Internet account at the Second Branch," Michael thought 
aloud. "I wonder if my account's still up ..."
        "Not if it was based at the Second Branch. I'll look into it, though." 
Kaji rested his hand briefly on Michael's shoulder. "And I need to get going; 
I have my own duties to attend to, but I wanted to stop in and see how you 
were doing."
        Michael nodded. "Thanks ... have a good day."
        "You too." Kaji left without another word, leaving Michael alone with 
his thoughts.

        ("But I have promises to keep, / And miles to go before I sleep,") 
Kaji remembered as he walked the corridors of Central Dogma. Somehow that old 
English poem had always felt appropriate to him, but never more so than now, 
when one of those promises was coming due. He had kept most of his promises, 
as well as he could; the few that he hadn't kept occasionally troubled his 
mind, plagued his memory for a while, then vanished again.
        He thought again about the watermelons that he was raising, and the 
phone call that he had made on the surface before coming to Central Dogma. 
There was one other piece of business that he had to attend to before he left 
again - possibly one of the most difficult things that he'd ever done.
        "Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki?"

        Commander Ikari looked over his folded, gloved hands at the dark-
uniformed security operative who had just completed his report. "You're 
certain of what happened?"
        "Yes, sir." The operative remained at rigid attention. "We haven't 
been able to find either of them yet."
        "You won't be able to." Ikari's gaze was inscrutable, hidden behind 
his shaded glasses. "Have Security remain alert; they'll both turn up 
eventually. In the meantime, proceed with the investigation."
        "Yes, sir," the operative repeated. "You will be informed of our 
progress." The man bowed formally, adding a quick salute, then turned around 
and left Ikari's office.
        (So it's come to this at last, Kiehl,) Ikari Gendou thought as he sat 
back in his chair, contemplating the Tree of Life on his office ceiling. (I 
wonder what Fuyutsuki will have to tell you and SEELE that you don't already 
know?)

        Michael was almost finished with his lunch - another standard-issue 
NERV bento, inoffensively packaged but hardly an enjoyable meal - when one of 
the few people he knew by name sat down across from him. "Konnichi wa, Rei."
        Ayanami Rei nodded to him. "Konnichi wa, Faiahaaku-kun."
        Michael started to correct her pronunciation, then shook his head 
quietly and decided to let it pass. He hadn't been able to get her to use his 
first name, either. "How are you?"
        "I'm well." Rei finished opening her own bento, broke her chopsticks 
apart, and started eating.
        "That's good ... how's school?"
        "The same." She took another bite of rice from her bento, her 
expression and tone as imperturbable as always.
        (Either Ikari taught her how to hide her emotions, or he *learned* 
from her,) Michael decided quietly. They could have been talking about the 
weather, their fellow pilots, their prior combat experience - not that Mike 
had anything to talk about except for simulations - or any number of other 
topics, and Michael was sure that Rei's behavior would always be the same: 
calm, emotionless, and almost completely imperturbable. "Have you seen Shinji 
or Asuka since the last synch-test?"
        "This morning."
        "And how are they?" Michael took the last bite of rice from his bento 
as he looked up at Rei.
        "The same as usual."
        Michael nodded quietly. "How long before Asuka's temper takes its 
monthly turn for the worse?"
        "Within the next few days." Rei didn't even blink at the question.
        "And our next synch-test ... ?"
        "You and I will be tested this afternoon. Dr. Akagi told me on my way 
into Central Dogma." Rei glanced up at the American boy. "Had you been 
informed of that yet?"
        "Nope." Mike shook his head faintly. "This morning was the first time 
I've had to myself since I got here ... I should've known it wouldn't last."
        "We need to report to the changing area in fifteen minutes."
        "Right." Mike gathered his bento and chopsticks, and stood up. "I'll 
see you there, I guess."
        Rei simply nodded, and continued eating as Michael left.

        It was about ten minutes later when Michael looked around the main 
tier of the apparently deserted command center. "Hello?" he called out 
uncertainly, looking around for signs of life.
        "Down here," a voice called, and Mike peered over the railing to see 
Hyuga Makoto waving up at him from one of the Magi monitoring stations.
        "Is something wrong with the computers?" Michael asked, raising his 
voice to be heard clearly over the intervening distance.
        "That's classified," Hyuga shouted back, "but we're doing a check on 
them anyway - standard procedure. Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for 
synch-testing?"
        "I'm on my way there now, but I was looking for Misato."
        Ibuki Maya looked up from her work. "I haven't seen her either," she 
called to Mike. "She's probably in her office -"
        "I checked there first," Michael replied. "She's not in."
        "She's probably busy somewhere else," Hyuga told him. "You'd better 
get moving - we'll be done here in about half an hour."
        Michael nodded. "See you later!" he shouted, then headed off.
        Two tiers down, Maya looked back at her screen and immediately paused 
the display. "What's *this* ... ?"
        A dark-uniformed security operative was at her shoulder almost 
immediately; Hyuga followed suit at the other shoulder a second later. "Looks 
like someone's reactivated an old account," Hyuga commented. "Is this what we 
were supposed to look for?"
        The operative shook his head. "No. It's unusual, but it doesn't seem 
to have anything to do with the investigation. Pull a dump anyway."
        Maya entered a command. "Dumping now ... copy complete. One file, 
encrypted -" She entered a few more commands, frowning at her display. "I 
can't access it, even with command authorization; part of the decryption key 
is missing. It's an account-access lock."
        "Can't we just open the account?" Hyuga wondered.
        "The Magi can reconstruct the password," Maya nodded, "but the person 
who owns this account would know that someone else had accessed it when he 
logged in." She looked back up at the account's user ID. "... oh my God. 
That's not possible ..."
        "Leave it," the operative said. "I'll attach the copy to our report; 
we're almost finished here as it is."

        Rei was already undressing when Michael jogged into the changing room 
and keyed open his locker. "We're going to be late starting anyway," he told 
Rei as he started taking off his shirt. "The Magi are still under maintenance 
of some kind ..."
        "I see." Rei finished folding her clothes, and retrieved her plug- 
suit from her own locker. "It's unusual."
        Michael suppressed the reflex to look in Rei's direction. "How so?"
        "Maintenance on the Magi is usually done after each entry-plug 
activation, real or simulated. Not before or during."
        "Hyuga couldn't even tell me if there was a problem or not.... Rei, 
have you seen Misato today?"
        "No."
        Mike let out a faint sigh. "Seems like nobody has ..."
        There was a quiet hiss as Rei's plug-suit contracted to a skin-tight 
fit around her body. "Is that why you were late?"
        "Sort of," Michael admitted sheepishly as he started struggling into 
his own plug-suit. "I haven't seen Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki today either; he 
normally observes the testing procedures."
        "Do you need to talk to them about something?"
        "Yeah ... enrolling in school. I was talking to Kaji this morning; I 
think my Japanese is good enough for me to start attending regular classes."
        "You've improved in the language."
        "I haven't had much of a choice," muttered Michael. "But everyone's 
been willing to help me learn and practice ..."
        "It's more efficient for everyone here to speak the same language."
        Michael nodded, pressing the button on the wrist of his plug-suit to 
activate the seals. "'Efficient' is one word for it, I guess."

        At that moment, efficiency was one of the last things on Fuyutsuki's 
mind as he sat, handcuffed to a chair, in a mostly-dark room. He wasn't sure 
how long he'd been there, but he knew what was going on well enough.
        Surrounding him, apparently floating in midair, were nine dark gray 
rectangles; each rectangle displayed the word "SEELE," a two-digit number 
between 01 to 09, and the additional words "Sound Only." Only one of the 
voices that went with the holographic monoliths was familiar.
        "Ikari has overstepped his bounds," said the voice of Lorenz Kiehl 
from SEELE 01. "Evangelion Unit 01 should not exist as it does now; the power 
of God is too great for a man like him to control."
        The next voice that spoke was computer-distorted, and totally 
unrecognizable to Fuyutsuki. "A new god has been created by human hands, and 
remains in human hands. Professor Fuyutsuki, you have explained how this came 
to pass. Do you wish to suggest what we should do?"
        Fuyutsuki spoke with dry irony. "I didn't think it was my place to 
advise SEELE about the Evangelions."
        "The situation will be attended to in its time," Kiehl/SEELE 01 said. 
"But there is a new situation which has also come to our attention: Unit 01's 
sister unit, Eva-04."
        SEELE 07: "That unit was supposed destroyed with the Second Branch, 
and yet it is operational within Tokyo-3 and NERV's headquarters in the Geo-
Front beneath. How did it get there? What was the fate of its pilot? *Those* 
you can tell us, Fuyutsuki."
        "You probably know as much about Eva-04 as we do," Fuyutsuki told the 
faceless voices with an outward calm that he didn't feel inside. "It resists 
all of our efforts to study it, except to run 'necessary' diagnostics. We 
can't analyze anything about it."
        "NERV still possesses a functional dummy plug system," noted another 
SEELE member - 04, Fuyutsuki noticed. "Why hasn't this been used to test the 
mystery unit from within?"
        "Because Unit 04 expelled the dummy plug within seconds of its 
insertion," Fuyutsuki answered with a degree of satisfaction. "It refused to 
synchronize, and then physically ejected the dummy plug with more force than 
an entry-plug's own ejection system. It took all of us by surprise, but there 
should still be visual records which you can access."
        If the members of SEELE had been physically present, Fuyutsuki was 
sure they would have been trading worried and/or alarmed looks. In any case, 
their voices were silent for three whole seconds before Kiehl demanded, "Why 
was this not reported to this body immediately?"
        "NERV's investigation of Unit 04 is still under way," Fuyutsuki 
explained. "Ikari and I felt that we would only be asking for trouble if we 
submitted an incomplete report to the committee. Or to you."
        "As canny as always, Professor," an almost-familiar but still 
distorted voice chuckled from 06. "Now tell us what *is* known."
        Fuyutsuki hesitated for a moment. "Answer," Kiehl warned him. "And 
remember the penalty for lying."
        (Forgive me, Michael,) Fuyutsuki thought, then put all feelings for 
the stranded American boy out of his mind. "We've been able to confirm the 
pilot's report that he and Evangelion Unit 04 have formed a permanent bond; 
it's not synchronization per se, but something different. Unit 04's rejection 
of the dummy plug was part of the evidence that confirmed this link; there 
have been other events and data which support the conclusion as well."
        "Such as?"
        Fuyutsuki told them: Eva-04's responses to Michael's will, even when 
he was outside of the entry plug; Michael's surprisingly high synchronization 
rate with his Eva; the ability that both Michael and Unit 04 possessed which 
let them know what the other was feeling, or sometimes even thinking. It took 
about five minutes for him to finish.
        "This situation cannot be allowed!" exclaimed SEELE 08. "Both Eva-04 
and its pilot must be disposed of immediately! If Ikari Gendou cannot be 
trusted, this child must not be left in control of an independent Evangelion 
beyond this moment!"
        "SILENCE!" ordered Kiehl. "As long as the Angels remain, every 
Evangelion is needed. Fuyutsuki, do you know how this link was established?"
        "Fire Hawk claimed that the bond was forged in the Sea of Dirac after 
the disappearance of the Second Branch," Fuyutsuki answered. "He also claimed 
that Eva-04 possesses its own mind and soul."
        This time, the silence lasted for at least five whole seconds. "Unit 
04 was never part of a Contact Experiment," SEELE 03 finally said. "If it has 
a soul, there is no source for it to have come from."
        "Except within itself," Kiehl replied. "It would seem that E Project 
has indeed succeeded beyond even Ikari's wildest dreams ... if the fruits of 
this success can be harvested, then Instrumentality cannot fail. We will 
further question you later, Fuyutsuki."
        The nine monoliths winked out of existence, leaving Fuyutsuki alone 
with his thoughts, handcuffed to the chair.

        "And you haven't seen Misato, Kaji, or Fuyutsuki all day?" Michael 
asked Ritsuko as they watched Rei's synchronization test with Unit 00.
        "I saw the Vice-Commander on the train this morning," Ritsuko 
corrected him. "But the other two ... no. Major Katsuragi is still in Central 
Dogma, though, or there'd be a record of her departure in the security log."
        Michael nodded silently, looking out at Rei's blue Evangelion, 
securely clamped to the armored wall of the testing bay. "Do you know them 
well?" he asked after a moment.
        "I didn't meet Fuyutsuki until after I started working for NERV - or 
Gehirn, as it was called when my mother worked here," Ritsuko told him. "But 
Misato and Kaji and I met back in college, several years after the Second 
Impact. Kaji was Misato's boyfriend back then; it took a while before they 
started getting along again."
        "What happened between them?" Michael wondered.
        Ritsuko coughed quietly. "Kaji was in Germany for several years, at 
the Third Branch; he came back to Japan when Eva-02 and its pilot were 
transferred here."
        Michael's reply was forestalled by a prolonged beep. "Test 
synchronization completed," Ibuki reported from her console. "We're done, 
Rei."
        "Acknowledged," Rei's calm voice came back over the intercom. A few 
seconds later, the faint but discernible hum of Eva-00 began to decrease in 
pitch and volume as the synchronization was closed down and the Eva returned 
to standby mode.
        Michael looked over at Ibuki and Hyuga. "So how did the maintenance 
turn out? Was there anything wrong?"
        "Nothing," Hyuga told him. "Just a routine check, like I said."
        Ritsuko glanced at the two technicians to quiet them, then turned her 
gaze towards Mike. "You'll need to go back to the Eva cages to enter Unit 04; 
don't begin synchronization until you and the Eva are secured in the testing 
bay."
        Michael nodded. "See you in a bit, I guess."

        The handcuffs clattered to the floor, and Fuyutsuki stood up, rubbing 
his wrists to restore some semblance of circulation. "How much did you hear?"
        "Some," Kaji admitted, "but not all - even they don't trust me that 
much. Not surprising."
        "Did you hear what they said about Michael and Eva-04?" Fuyutsuki 
wasn't worried about their privacy, or lack thereof; there was little that he 
could do about it in any case.
        "Yes." Kaji sounded uncharacteristically grim. "Vice-Commander, 
there's nothing I can do about that now ... but when SEELE makes its move, 
Mike is going to be in incredible danger; even Eva-04 may not be able to help 
him at that point."
        "He's safe for now, anyway," Fuyutsuki said. "At least until the last 
Angel has appeared and been dealt with."
        Kaji nodded. "I listened to as much as I could; I'm still trying to 
get to the bottom of this - I'm getting closer, I know, but I don't know how 
much time I have left. Probably not much."
        Fuyutsuki nodded solemnly. "Is there anything I can do?"
        "Watch over Michael as best you can; he's our best hope now - at 
least, if SEELE is that worried about him ..." Kaji grinned, his roguish air 
returning for a brief moment. It didn't last. "Watch over all of them if you 
can; every one of them will be in danger after the Angels."
        "I will," Fuyutsuki promised, "to the best of my ability. But what 
about you?"
        "I just want to get closer to the truth ... to have it in my grasp."

        (Another day, another dinner,) Michael thought without humor. (Maybe 
it'd be worth seeing if I can get into a kitchen ...)
        "Am I interrupting?"
        Michael looked up to see Ibuki Maya standing there with a clipboard 
under one arm, and a bento in her hands. "No - please, sit down."
        Maya nodded thanks, setting her clipboard down on the table, then sat 
down next to Michael. "We've finished the analysis from this afternoon's 
diagnostics, so I can tell you about this now ..." 
        "Did you find something?" Michael glanced at the clipboard, but 
couldn't read what was written on it.
        "There was one thing out of the ordinary," Maya told him, "that you 
have a particular right to know about. Sometime this morning, an access 
account in NERV's computer network was reactivated - an account which 
apparently was in your name." She turned over a page, then handed the 
clipboard to him. "Does that user ID look familiar?"
        Michael's eyes widened as he read the letters. "Very much so ..." He 
looked up at Maya. "Who reactivated it?"
        "We don't know. It may have been an automatic operation; there was an 
e-mail message directed to that account around the same time, so the computer 
could have re-established the account to receive it."
        Michael laid the clipboard down and picked his chopsticks back up. 
"Well ... I'd been meaning to ask about an e-mail account. I guess this means 
I don't even have to ask ..."
        Maya nodded. "When you open the e-mail application on your terminal, 
it'll automatically log on to the mail server; you just need your user ID and 
your password. - You *do* remember your password, right?"
        "Unless it got changed without my knowing about it," Mike told her. 
"Ibuki-san ... thank you very much."

        Half an hour later, Michael was back in his quarters, logging on to 
his account within NERV's computer network. As Maya had told him, there was 
one message waiting.
        "Sender encrypted ...?" Michael blinked at the terminal, then opened 
the message. The decryption routine, triggered with his user ID and password, 
only took a fraction of a second to run.
        The message was written in English.

Sent: <blocked>
To: firehawkm@dogma.nerv.un
Fr: kajir@geist.seele.org

This message was encrypted so that only you would be able to access it, 
Michael; it may not make a difference, but you should delete this as soon as 
you finish reading it.

I'm sorry this was the only way I'd be able to say good-bye, but there was no 
other way for me to tell you without their knowing that I was up to something 
this morning. I wish that I could stay to help you, and I know that you'll 
need someone to talk to in the weeks ahead, so I make this request of you:

Befriend the other Chldren, whatever it takes. I know Asuka can be pretty 
abrasive at times - don't let that stop you. Shinji is quiet and withdrawn, 
but he'll make a good, loyal friend as well. You'll need both of them ... and 
they'll need you, too.

I've been given my own orders to follow, so this is almost certainly the last 
time you'll hear from me. All that you can do now is to help your fellow 
pilots; if you have a way to comfort Misato, I'm sure she'll need it too, but 
your first priority is to fight. Shinji knows what's at stake.

Good luck, Mike, and be careful. May the kami be with you in the weeks to 
come.
                                        - Kaji Ryouji

        Michael sat in front of his terminal, staring at the screen, and re-
read the message three times before it started to sink in that this was a 
farewell letter. A permanent farewell. Finally, he raised a trembling hand to 
the keyboard, and pressed the delete key. 
        (Kaji ...) Michael started shivering, not sure what to say, or do, or 
even think. The remote caress of Eva-04's presence couldn't even begin to 
console him; one more friend, one of the few people he had begun to trust and 
open up to in Tokyo-3, was gone forever.
        He didn't let himself cry; he knew that if he started, all of the 
grief he had sealed away would break through and overwhelm him, burying him 
under its weight. Instead, as though burying Kaji in his heart, Michael 
started putting his sorrow away, like shovelfuls of dirt over the coffin that 
he would never see. 
        (I'll do it, Kaji,) he vowed silently. (I promise.)

AUTHOR'S AFTERWORD:
        As you may have noticed, this chapter corresponds with the timeframe 
of episode 21 of the Evangelion TV series, and with most of the events that 
are taking place during the 'present' in that episode.
        This chapter took a long time to get ready for; I knew what was going 
to happen, and I've actually had Kaji's farewell e-mail drafted for a couple 
of months now, but it wasn't until today that I sat down and wrote it. Well, 
the bulk of it anyway ...
        It was never my intention to recap episode 21 exactly, even with 
modifications for Michael's presence during Fuyutsuki's interrogation; "The 
Birth of NERV" is mostly historical in nature, but there are things happening 
in the present anyway. I wanted to portray more of what was happening in real 
time during Kaji's last day of life, particularly from the Children's 
standpoint - but primarily from perspectives that the anime didn't show. In 
this case, Michael sort of has to stand in for the other Children; Shinji and 
Asuka spent a fairly normal day at school, since only Rei was even mentioned 
in episode 21.
        In the next chapter, Michael and Eva-04 will finally face their first 
battle together against an Angel, their shared baptism by fire into a war 
which neither of them understands. Rest assured, Asuka and Rei *will* get 
their screen time - chapter 5 will bear a much stronger resemblance to the 
episode it's based upon than this chapter did to episode 21.

Acknowledgements:
        This work of fiction is written for fun, not for profit, and is made 
available for the sole purpose of enjoyment by fans and interested readers. 
This story is not to be distributed for profit by any person or agency.
        _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ and all characters, entities, monsters, and
organizations thereof are the creations and property of Gainax and Anno 
Hideaki, copyright 1996 (?). As such, I have no legal right to these 
characters, etc. and am required to cease writing if requested to do so by 
Gainax or legal representatives thereof.
        Michael Theseus Fire Hawk is an original character of my own creation;
please do not borrow, use, depict, refer to, fold, spindle, or mutilate 
without the author's prior permission (i.e. mine).

                                Tim Miller
                                        trmiller@bcpl.net

        December 24, 1998