At 09:07 AM 12/21/98 -0700, Shunsuke wrote:
Title: Soul of Ice: Thesis
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Serious
Author: Matt Lewis
Email: maybeso@ican.net
Homepage: N/A
Date Sent to FFML: 11/16/98
Archive #: 479
Size: 42 kb
Summary:
If you've been following the Soul of Ice stuff, then you'll know that
this is theconclusion to what would happen if Ranma were to take
Cologne up on her offer. This is not the Ranma you know anymore, so be
warned. Includes an (quickly becoming) preface.
{Paul}
Brr. Just... just brr. This is one of those things which just rubs
you the wrong way. The phantom chapters are excellent... I can see
the anime equivalents, actually... the barely described spaces let
the mind fill in all sorts of things. The description of Ranma is
also excellent and very, very consistent. Of course, consistency
isn't hard with the equivalent of Ayanami Rei in Son Goku's body.
Rei in Goku's body? I'm not so sure about that. From what I know of
Rei, she does what she is told-- not out of any logical choice or
reasoning, but because she lacks the motivation to do anything else.
Rei is essentially passive. This Ranma, however, while at least as
distant from us as Rei is, has made a choice to behave as he does:
he could act, but he chooses not to out of a decision based upon
reasoning and certain precepts which he holds.
As for Son Goku's body? Well, perhaps, and perhaps not. I
never really gave Ranma a particular power rating in this, we
don't know how much force he can generate, how tough he is, et cetera.
Most of Ranma's ability is based upon skill and control. He won his
fights (with the possible exception of the Happi match) not because
he was more powerful than his opponents, but because he was more
skilled than them-- simply put, Ranma was better, not necessarily
more powerful. A distionction that I would like to make (of course,
this does not make your statement totally untrue either, since I
have not really shown how much power Ranma can put out, just that he
is very good at manipulating it).
Though I, like many others, would love to see the training which
made Ranma into this... the fic seems incomplete without it. Ranma's
attitude was a vital part of him, and something happened to make it
go away... I want to know what. The fic is good as it is... 15 or
16 out of 20... but it would be much better with more flashbacks to
the training, showing Ranma's soul gradually ice over...
This was a comment I received more than once, about the training. There's
a few reasons I didn't show more of the training, actually.
1. From the moment Ranma made his choice in this one, what he became was
inevitable.
2. I wanted to concentrate on the consequences of his decisions, the end
results and not the implementation of them.
3. (the real reason) I couldn't think of anything for it. To put in the
training, were I able to conceive it, would have doubled the size of the
story if I were to do it properly, I think. Might make it more bulky and
unwieldy even if I were to only go over the highlights and breakthroughs.
That is, assuming, of course, that I would be able to come up with some
of the training Ranma went through (most of it would have been mental and
not physical, mind you-- I know that much, at the least).
{Shunsuke}
Despite a strong start following two good earlier parts, the ending
to this part feels empty, with neither gain nor loss. The story
Feels empty? Do you mean by that a lack of feeling? If so, that's
how it should be. It would be a defeat if you felt happy or sad
or angry, or anything really, at the end, because Ranma himself
doesn't, not anymore.
As for gain or loss, is it neceesary for it to be one or the
other? How about a combination of the both? Ranma has gained
abilities and skills beyond that of mortal kenning, but in the
process he lost what it was that made him human and mortal. Ranma
here (and in Antithesis, I hope), proves the old saying, "No man
is an island," because he can no longer be called a man. He is
other, in his extremeness. This is what makes him so cold, so strange,
so frghtening, because he wears our shape, looks like us, and was
once in fact like us-- but he is no longer like us now.
begins well, and Ranma's return truly feels ominous even without
what seems missing between parts two and three, but there's just
something missing. Maybe if I'd read the story the author refers
to, I might understand the point of this. This is good stuff, but
Not really. It just kind of frustrated... er, inspired me to put in
VIII and X, and the preface at the end of the story, rather than the
beginning.
I just couldn't figure the purpose of the ending. (No offense.)
The purpose of the ending? To end it, of course! :)
No big statements, no resolution, no feeling, no solutions-- any of
those things happened earlier on in the story. The end was just to end
was just to end was just to end. Just a logical conclusion, nothing
more.
- - - - -
Title: When Ranma Was Two (Too!)
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate
Author: Matt Lewis
Email: maybeso@ican.net
Date Sent to FFML: 11/1/98
Archive #: 584
Size: 33 kb
Summary:
The second part to When Ranma Was Two, a story of what if Ranma had
fallen into the Spring of Drowned Twins instead of Drowned Girl.
Genma gets a job and the appearance of Ryouga. Ryouga's curse is
revealed.
{Paul}
Okay, first of all, the hair thing is starting to scare me. Second
Heh. And you know at some point in time I'm going to have principal
Kuno in as well (and thast's all I'm going to say on that!) :)
of all, Ryoga's curse is absolutely hysterical in its effects.
Matter of fact, this whole series has an air of light comedy about
it that I haven't been able to shake yet... not that I'd want to,
Thanks! I wanted a bit of a light-hearted feel to this series-- comedic,
but not absolutely over-the-top (as some of my other humour attempts
have been). A little bit more in keeping with the flavour of the
original series, while still being a bit different.
mind you. One thing that bugs me, though... Ranma suddenly remembers
Ryoga as they're walking home, without even saying anything to the
Yeah, I completely forgot about that... I _thought_ I put something in
with Ranma actually remembering, but obviously I forgot. Me bad.
Revisions will rectify this error.
effect. Aside from that, though, this is good stuff... 13 or 14 out
of 20, and 8 of 10 for humor.
{Shunsuke}
So, Ranma's the heir to the school, but Genma's the hair...?
Silly but not stupid, this has some good scenes, a more reasonable
Kuno, and a more interesting Ranma/Akane relationship. Some scenes
are too short, it would be better to lengthen them or not go to
them at all (A Little Stroll, The Tendo Yard, et al), and there's a
Another thing I've been accused of. In my quest to keep a brisk pace
(obviously not a brisk writing pace, but a brisk pacing in the story),
I've gone a bit overboard. Ah well, hopefully I can catch that, too.
number of errors. This can be good for a laugh if you're in the
mood.
- - - - -
Title: No Need For Romance
Series: Tenchi Muyo! (Television)
Genre: WAFFly, Short
Author: Matt Lewis
Email: maybeso@ican.net
Date Sent to FFML: 11/16/98
Archive #: 441
Size: 6kb
Summary:
A response to a challenge to do a WAFF Tenchi/Kiyone fic. This one
has, like the title suggests, no romantic inclinings between the two.
{Shunsuke}
A relaxed and quiet description of the wee hours, this is not just
an "end of the day" fic, but it only works for you if that's when
you're reading it. Pleasant, simple, and minimalist.
Exactly what I was going for here: pleasant, simple, and minimalist.
Anything else would have been rather extraneous and detracted from
the feel of things.
A very busy (two) week(s) for me, wasn't it?
You know, I don't think I've ever thanked you guys for the reviews, so
I (not just in the spirit of the season, but also because I'm a
forgetful S.O.B. who has finally remembered) will take the time now
to thank you.
Thanks!
Matthew "Maybeso" Lewis is:
InDefinitelyso on IRC
Sojiro_Seta on Kawaiimuck
maybeso@ican.net
prone to exaggeration, 150% of the time
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Z embla, Zenda, Xanadu:
A ll our dream worlds may come true.
F airy lands are fearsome too.
A s I fade far from view
R ead and bring me home to you.
-dedication from Haroun and the Sea of Stories
by Salman Rushdie
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