The Taming of the Horse

a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Vince Seifert (seifertv@csus.edu)

Webpage: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/

Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are copyright 1987, 1998
by Takahashi Rumiko.  Publishing rights (Japan) by Shogakukan
Inc.  Publishing rights (North America) by Viz Inc.  This work
is not intended to infringe those rights.

     ~~~~~ Chapter 1: Housing ~~~~~

          A horse should be kept in a sheltered stall with
     exercise facilities nearby... The stall should be free of
     drafts and well away from sources of disturbance... Even the
     best-tempered animal can take some time to recover from
     changes in its accustomed housing or companions.
          
          -- from Chapter 1

     It was a day long-awaited by some and secretly dreaded by
others: Ranma and Genma were moving back to the Saotome house to
live with Nodoka.  Once again, Ranma and Nodoka were lined up on
one side of the Tendo gate, facing Soun, Kasumi, and Nabiki.
This time, however, Akane wasn't sulking up in her room; she was
standing next to Ranma, carrying a bundle.  This time, Genma was
standing behind Nodoka, kicking moodily at an innocent pebble.

     "Thank you all again for taking such good care of my son and
husband," Nodoka said brightly, bowing to the Tendos.

     "Oh, it was no trouble at all," Kasumi said graciously.

     "Remember, you're welcome to visit any time," Soun chimed
in.  Nabiki just stood there with her arms crossed, trying not to
look too bored.

     "Thanks for everything," Ranma said, looking mostly at
Kasumi.

     Nodoka turned, caught the elbow of Genma's threadbare gi,
and said, "Come on, dear."  They started down the street.  Ranma
settled his pack straps, glanced at Akane, and followed.  Akane
fell into step beside him.

     "So, just couldn't stand to let me out of your sight, eh?"
Ranma said, not looking at Akane.

     Akane, determined to avoid the week-long snit that had
ensued the last time Ranma had moved out,  suppressed her initial
response.  "Well, you're going to find it harder to protect me
night and day now, Ranma," she said instead.  *Boy, he has me
pegged.*

     Ranma flinched and looked at her sidelong.  *Jeez, she has
me pegged.*

     Akane smiled a little when he didn't even try to deny it.
They walked on without speaking, listening to Nodoka talking at
her husband.

     ~~~~~

     The Saotome house was considerably smaller than the Tendo
house, a little older, and less well furnished, but the damage
that Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi had inflicted in the pursuit of a
non-existent engagement ring had all been repaired.  Akane
followed Ranma upstairs into a small room, unfurnished save for a
chest of drawers and a desk-lamp.  Ranma swung his heavy pack
down and stretched.  Akane put down her bundle.  "So, this is
your room, then?"

     "Yup."  Ranma slid open the old-style window and looked out
into the small back yard.  "It ain't much, but at least I don't
have to share it with a panda."  His expression was faintly sad,
until he looked back at Akane.

     "Ranma, I..."  "Akane, I..."  they began simultaneously.
They blushed and looked down.

     "What?"  "You go ahead..."

     Ranma looked annoyed, mimed zipping his lips, and bowed
exaggeratedly to Akane.

     Akane giggled.  "Well, Father meant it about 'visit any
time'," she said.  "Since your family doesn't have a dojo, you
can use ours... if you want to..."

     Ranma, who had begun to frown around the middle of her
sentence, brightened.  "Yeah, I guess I could," he said.

     "And our place isn't far from your way to school," she
continued, heartened.  "We could still walk to school
together..."

     "An excellent idea," Nodoka said from the doorway.  Ranma
and Akane jumped.  "I'll see to it that he leaves here in time to
meet you at your door, Akane-chan," she continued benevolently.

     "Jeez, Momma," Ranma protested, but so weakly that it was
obvious even to Akane that it was a token.

     "Thanks, Oba-sama," Akane said.  She glanced at Ranma.  "I'd
better be going, you have settling-in to do..."

     "Thank you for coming along, Akane-chan," Nodoka said.  "By
all means, come visit any time, I'll be glad to see you and so
will Ranma."  She smiled and left.

     Akane followed Ranma to the door.  "I could walk you home,"
Ranma offered diffidently.
     
     Akane smiled, but shook her head.  "No, you have things to
do.  Thanks, though.  See you tomorrow morning?"
     
     "Yeah."
     
     "Don't be late!"  She waved and left.
     
     Ranma went upstairs, sighed, and opened his pack.  Loading
his meager wardrobe into the dresser took ten minutes.  Unrolling
his futon took ten seconds.  He sat on his futon, looked in the
general direction of the Tendo Dojo, and wished he were somewhere
else.

     ~~~~~

     "I'm home!" Akane called, removing her shoes.

     Kasumi came into the front hall.  "Oh, Akane," she said.
"How did it go?"

     "Fine," Akane said.  "Um... where are Father and Nabiki?"

     "Father's in his room.  Nabiki's out," Kasumi said
patiently.  "And I haven't noticed any ninjas around lately."

     Akane half smiled.  "Sorry.  It went much better this time.
He cracked wise before we were even out of sight, but I managed
not to get mad at him, and it paid off big-time.  He was almost
nice.  He's going to walk me to school and back!"

     "Oh, wonderful!"

     "I'm so worried about the other girls, though.  Now that
he's not living here, who knows what'll happen?  They'll visit,
and be all nice to him, and I won't be there to clobber him, and
he'll... and they'll..."  Akane stopped, appalled by her own
imagination.

     Kasumi rescued a mug from her sister's death-grip.  "Now,
Akane, I'm sure it's not as bad as you fear.  Don't forget, they
were doing that when he was living here, too, and it doesn't seem
to have swayed Ranma-kun at all.  My goodness, remember the time
we found Shampoo in bed with him in the morning?"
     
     Akane turned distraught eyes on her sister.  "Aaaa!" she
wailed.
     
     Kasumi winced.  "What I mean," she continued hastily, "is
that if Ranma-kun can remain decent through that, I hardly think
he's in any danger where he is now."
     
     "'Decent' is not the word for that pervert," Akane said
darkly, but she calmed down.  "I miss him,"  she said eventually.
"He's only been gone an hour, and I miss him already."
     
     "Well, I'm sure he misses you too," Kasumi told her
confidently.
     
     ~~~~~

     Ranma awoke the next morning, and wondered why.  *No buckets
of water... no sudden attacks... no clock-crazed schoolgirls...
jeez, this is boring.*  He yawned, got up, picked up his towel
and bucket of bath stuff, and went silently downstairs.

     His mother and father were seated at the table in the main
room when he came in.  "Mornin', Momma, Pops,"  he said.  "Say,
Pops, we trainin' before breakfast, or what?"

     Genma folded his arms and looked inscrutable.  "Your mother
has pursuaded me that a change in your routine is called for," he
told Ranma.

     Nodoka took over.  "Yes, Ranma."  She looked at him
seriously.  "Your father has had ten years to train you, and has
fulfilled his promise to make you a man among men.  Therefore, I
suggested that his task was done, and that it now fell to me to
complete your training, and he... eventually... agreed."

     Ranma raised his eyebrows.  *So that's what all that noise
was,* he thought.  "What're ya trainin' me in, Momma?"  he asked.

     Nodoka looked sidelong at her husband.  "Your father, while
he has certainly made you a great martial artist, has neglected
to teach you many aspects of civilized behavior," she said.  "I
will correct these... deficiencies."

     Ranma's jaw dropped.  "Uh... like what?" he asked
cautiously.

     Nodoka frowned slightly.  "Well, to begin with, your
vocabulary, grammar, and diction," she said.  "Also, your grades
indicate that you need to study more.  I will introduce you to
classical arts such as poetry, and guide your moral development.
Your father does not appear to have been the best of examples."

     Ranma was speechless.  "What, no sparring?"  he croaked
finally.

     Genma looked uncomfortable.  "Your mother has argued
convincingly--" his eyes slid towards the katana mounted in the
alcove-- "that since she had you for six years, and I had you for
ten, she is owed four years, and that I should not interfere with
her training of you during that time."  He got up, shuffled
outside, and dumped a bucket of water over his head.  The panda
blinked sadly at Ranma and turned away.

     "Now that that's settled,"  Nodoka finished brightly, "I'll
just get breakfast, shall I?"  She rose and went into the
kitchen.  Ranma stayed where he was, stunned.

     ~~~~~

     Ranma entered his home and removed his shoes.  It didn't
feel like his home.  Akane lived in his real home.  He shook his
head, called "I'm home!" just in case anyone was listening, and
went up the stairs to his room.

     "Ranma!"

     Ranma came back down the stairs and went into the main room.
Nodoka was drinking tea behind several stacks of books.  "Yeah,
Momma?"  He eyed the stacks.  "What's with the books?"

     "This is your reading list.  I want you to read all of
these," Nodoka clarified, adding another book to one stack.

     Ranma picked up a book and flipped through it.  *No
pictures, lotsa kanji, no furigana, tiny print...*  Something in
him snapped.  "You want.  Dammit, everybody wants!  My life is
fulla people who want me to do somethin' all the others don't
want me to do! You want me to read a zillion books! You want me
to move outa the Tendo's!  You want me to be a 'man among men'!
Pops and Tendo-san want me to marry Akane!  Shampoo 'n' Cologne
want to drag me back to China!  Ukyo wants me to marry HER!
Akane wants... hell, I wish I knew what Akane wants... but nobody
cares what I want!"

     Nodoka waited patiently until she was sure that her son was
through ranting.  "And what do you want, dear?"

     Ranma paled and suddenly found the finish of the table
intensely interesting.  "Well, I... um.  If Aka... er, that is,
I, uh...  The thing is, I, ah, well, maybe... hm."

     Again Nodoka waited until it appeared that Ranma was more
likely to twiddle his fingers than say anything useful.  "Well,
when you do decide what you want, Ranma-chan, be sure to tell
Mother all about it."  She took a sip from her cup and gazed
blandly at Ranma over its rim.

     Ranma didn't hear her say "...and until then, stop
complaining," but he was sure she was thinking it.  "Yes, Momma,"
he managed, abashed.  "Say, where's Pop?"
     
     "Out," Nodoka said coldly.  She thawed a bit.  "I suggested
that he look for work.  If you didn't see him at the Tendo's,
there is a small chance that that is what he is doing."  Ranma
doubted it, but it didn't surprise him that Genma wasn't home.
He'd walked by his parents' room once when the door was open and
seen the two futons on opposite sides of the room with a katana
between them.
     
     ~~~~~

     Ranma snapped awake in the middle of the night.  Something
was in his room with him.  Something was rummaging through his
chest of drawers and muttering.  Something small...

     "Y'old fart!  What the hell ya doin'?!"

     Happosai turned.  "Oh, hello, Ranma."  He waved at the
pillaged dresser.  "Hasn't your mother bought you any new bras or
panties yet?"

     "Whaaa...?!  You sonofabitch, I oughta..."

     "No?"  The old man shook his wizened head disgustedly.  "She
must have become as cheap as Genma.  What a shame, what a shame."
He deftly avoided Ranma's elbow.  "Well, my boy, there's only one
thing for it."  He rubbed his hands together briskly.  "We'll go
raid some for you."

     Ranma facefaulted, but was up in a flash.  "I tol' ya
before, I'm not gonna do that!" he raged.

     "But they'll sag if you don't..."

     "KE-!"  Wham!

     Happosai looked down at Ranma, laid out flat on the floor
wearing boxer shorts, and sighed.  "You're no fun at all any
more."  He brightened suddenly.  "Ah, but with you here, that
means darling Akane-chan is completely unguarded!"

     Ranma froze.  Happosai leapt to the window sill and turned.
"Bye for now!"  He jumped out.

     Ranma unfroze.  "YOU BASTARD!"  He sprang from the floor,
cleared the windowframe, and landed in the garden, looking around
wildly for Happosai.  He spotted the master of Musabetsu Kakuto
perched on the wall, regarding him with mild interest.

     "Decided to go on a raid with me after all, eh?"

     "Stay away from Akane, ya little shit!"

     "Why should I?" Happosai asked reasonably.  "More to the
point, who's going to stop me?"

     Ranma fumed.  *He has a point there...*  A sudden breath of
breeze cooled his bare chest, and the desperate plan struck him.

     "Why would ya want ta molest an unsexy, no-figure girl like
that?"  He scooped up the bucket under the downspout, upended it
over his head, and struck a provocative pose.

     Drip.

     *'Drip'?  What happened to 'splash'?*  He looked up.  The
bucket had been empty.  *Gaah.  The one time I want cold water,
and I get 'drip'.  Figures.*

     "Here you go."  Happosai handed him a bucket.  Ranma seized
it gladly and upended it over his head.

     Splash!  Ranma dropped the bucket, gritted her teeth, and
struck the pose again.

     "Sweeto!"  Happosai leapt for her exposed bosom.  Glomp.
Nuzzle-nuzzle.
     
     "EEYAA!"  Ranma smacked Happosai into the ground and backed
up fast.

     "Now that's more like it!" Happosai crowed, rising from the
wreckage of two buckets.  "Hotcha!"  He sprang at Ranma, fingers
wriggling.  She bounced over the rooftop and away.  The noise
dwindled in the distance.

     ~~~~~

     Ranma dragged himself into the main room the next morning
and sat at the table, looking decidedly worn.  "G'mornin',
Momma."

     "Good morning, Ranma,"  Nodoka said brightly, bringing out
the soup, rice, and pickles.  Ranma started to shovel it in.

     "I won't ask if you slept well, dear," she continued.

     Ranma looked up and swallowed hastily.  "Uh?"

     "Don't grunt, dear, it's not polite.  Yes, I was awakened in
the middle of the night by a commotion in the garden, and when I
went to see what it was, I was amazed."

     Ranma twitched nervously and surreptitiously checked the
room for katanas.

     "At first I thought... well, you can imagine what I
thought."

     "Eep!"  Ranma prepared to disappear under the tatami.

     "But after you and Happosai had gone, I realized that that
was a very selfless thing you did, sacrificing your dignity for
your fiancee's honor."

     "It was?  I mean, yeah, sure it was."  Ranma inflated a
little.

     Nodoka lifted an eyebrow at her son and shook her head.
"Every time I think I know what manliness is, Ranma, you redefine
it."

     "Um, is that good?"  Ranma asked cautiously.

     "I'm not sure yet."

     Ranma looked unsettled.  When Nodoka didn't say any more and
started her breakfast, he resumed his, glancing at her
occasionally.

     ~~~~~

     Ranma dredged himself up from the depths of sleep.
Something was in his room with him.  Something tall, slim, and
curvy...

     "Oh, Ranma-sama!"

     Suddenly Ranma was all the way awake and sitting plastered
against the wall.  "Kodachi!"

     "Sssh, dear Ranma-sama.  We don't want to disturb your
parents."  The streetlights outside provided enough light for
Ranma to watch her drop gracefully to kneel beside him.  To his
slight relief, she was wearing her usual leotard.  *For the
moment.*  *Oh, ya just HAD ta think that...*

     "We deee-"  Ranma cleared his throat and started over.  "We
don't?"

     She laughed softly, a sound far removed from her usual over-
the-top laugh, but at the moment seeming even more threatening.
"No, no, darling, that would be so discourteous."  She paused.
"It was very kind of you to leave your window open for our
tryst."

     "Uh," Ranma managed.  He cursed his inability to hold up his
end of the conversation; it might have bought him some time.

     Kodachi sighed romantically.  "Oh, Ranma-sama, you are a
girl's most torrid fantasies made flesh.  To see you here like
this is almost more than my poor heart can stand."  She reached
out in the dimness and ran her slim hand over Ranma's bare left
pectoral.
     
     "Yaah!"  Ranma shot upward out of his sitting position and
wedged himself into the corner of the ceiling, quivering.
     
     Kodachi flowed to her feet.  "No need to be so shy, my sweet
man."  Ranma realized with dismay that either Kodachi wasn't
short enough or the ceiling wasn't high enough or both.

     "Sweeto!"

     Kodachi looked down at her bosom.  Happosai grinned
toothlessly back at her and threw in an extra grope.  "Ranma-
sama," she said sharply, "what is this vile creature?"

     "Uh..."

     "Never mind."

     Whap!  Kodachi batted Happosai off her chest and dove for
the window.  Happosai bounced off floor and wall and was after
her like a shot.  Ranma dropped from the ceiling and darted to
the window.  He paused there, sorely tempted to just slam it and
go back to bed.

     "Ah, hell," he muttered, and leapt outside.

     Kodachi and Happosai were squared off in the yard.  The
gymnast had her ribbon out and twirling.  The lecher had his
fingers out and wriggling.  Before Ranma could intervene,
Happosai sprang.  The ribbon flicked.

     "Wha-ha-ha!" chortled Happosai, swinging head down from a
tree branch, wrapped from neck to toe in ribbon.  "Bondage!
Discipline me, sweet cheeks!  Woo-hoo!"

     Kodachi ignored him and turned to Ranma.  "Alas, my
paramour, the mood has been broken.  Au revoir!"  She blew him a
kiss and vaulted to the neighbor's roof.  Black rose petals
scented the night air.  "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!"

     Ranma watched her go.  *I knew she was a loon, but now she's
talkin' gibberish.*  He looked at Happosai, still swinging gaily
to and fro, and considered thanking him for his timely
intervention.  "Nah."

     Ranma jumped back through the window, slammed it shut,
latched it, and nailed boards across it.

     It took him over an hour to get back to sleep.

     ~~~~~

     Ranma was awakened the next morning by a tapping at his
door.  "Ranma?  It's time for you to get up, dear."

     "Yeah, Momma, I'm up..."  He sat up and scrubbed his face
with his hands.  The door opened.

     "Is everything all right, Ranma?  You don't usually
oversleep... oh, my goodness!"  Ranma looked where Nodoka was
looking.  His heart sank.  On top of his dresser was a bouquet of
black roses.

     "Ack!  I, I can explain those!"

     "So can I."  She smiled proudly at him as she came in and
picked the bouquet up.  "I'll just go put these in water."

     He groaned and sank his face in his hands.  *I'm dead.*

     Nodoka put her face back around the door and added, "I knew
Kodachi-chan had been here last night, but I never dreamed she
would be so pleased with you!"

     *Dead, dead, dead.*

     ~~~~~

     Akane was waiting impatiently outside the Tendo Dojo when
Ranma came running up.  "I was about to leave without you," she
said crossly.  "Come on, let's go."

     Akane snatched glances at Ranma while they ran.  "You look
terrible," she said after they'd passed the little old lady with
the ladle's place safely.

     "Gee, thanks."

     "What happened?  Happosai again?"  Her voice was
sympathetic.  Ranma was tired.  The result was predictable.

     "Yeah, him and Kodachi."

     Screech!  "WHAT?!"

     "Wait!  It's not whatcha think, Akane!"

     "Well, how do you know what I'm thinking?!  If you know what
I'm thinking, it's because it's what anyone would think!  And
that means it must be true!"  Slap!

     Ranma shook his head, dazed as much by Akane's inarguable
logic as by her powerful hand, and then ran after her.

     "Wait up!  Ya got it all wrong!"

     "Get AWAY from me, you pervert!"  She tried in vain to
outrun him.

     Ranma got mad.  "Look, I left my window open 'cause it was
hot!  I didn't think Kodachi was gonna sneak in!  Kodachi groped
me, Happosai groped her, she tied him up in a ribbon and left!
NOTHING HAPPENED!"

     Akane stopped.  Ranma stopped, breathing heavily, but not
from running.  Her eyes searched his face.  "You know," she said
finally, "that's so stupid I almost have to believe you."

     Ranma crossed his arms and looked disgusted.  "It's the
truth."

     "You promise?  You didn't lay a finger on her?"

     "Not one."

     Akane looked relieved.  "Well... okay."  She smiled shyly.
"Um... Sorry about the slap."

     Ranma recovered from the smile and remembered an important
detail.  "Uh, there's just one thing..."

     Akane's eyes narrowed.  "What?"

     "Well, my momma... uh... you know how she is about my being
'manly', right?  Well, Kodachi left a big buncha those damn roses
of hers in my room, and now Momma thinks... uh..."

     Akane's eyes and mouth opened wide in shock.  She covered
her mouth with her hand.  "...that you were, ah, 'manly' with
Kodachi?!"

     "Yeah," Ranma said sheepishly.  "But I wasn't!  I swear!"

     Akane giggled.  "I won't tell her you weren't."

     ~~~~~

     Ranma was deeply asleep when the boards nailed over his
window exploded inward, bounced off the far wall, and clattered
to the floor.  He rolled sideways on reflex, fetched up against
the wall with a thump, and blinked.  Something was in his room
with him.  Something incredibly violent...

     "Wo da airen," it said softly.

     Ranma groaned.  "Shampoo."

     "You sick?"  Shampoo asked.  "You no sound good."  Her hand
touched his forehead.  "No fever... You leave window open, no
sleep in stuffy room."  Her teeth gleamed in the dimness.  "That
way no noise when wife come visit, too."

     "Look, Shampoo, ya gotta go," Ranma pleaded.  "I need ta
sleep."

     "Good!" Shampoo said, sounding pleased.  "You sleep.  I
sleep too."

     Ranma sighed in relief.  "Great.  Now..."  He stopped.
Fabric whispered in the dark and fell softly on the floor.  He
caught a glimpse of smooth pale skin as Shampoo lay down on his
futon and pulled his quilt over her, and cursed silently.  "No, I
mean you go home and go to sleep an' I stay here and go to
sleep," he said, knowing it was useless.

     "What you talking, airen?  You come here.  You sleep number-
one good."  Shampoo patted the futon beside her.

     "No way."  Ranma tried to think of a plan.  *Happosai?  Nah,
he only shows when ya don't want him.  Kick her out?  She'd just
come back in, they don't make windows that'll stop her, or doors
neither, or even walls.  Go downstairs and ask to sleep with my
parents?  Yeah, right.  Momma'd make me slit my belly for not
stayin' here and bein' 'manly'.*  "Eep!"

     Shampoo had gotten impatient while he was thinking and had
crept up and glomped him.  "What this 'eep', airen?" she
whispered in his ear.  "I no learn all Japanese love word yet--
you teach?"

     Ranma decided talk was futile and started unwinding the
amazon, trying not to think about what he was grabbing.  Shampoo
took it as an invitation to wrestle and started emitting
delighted squeals as he touched sensitive bits by accident.
Finally Ranma unleashed a masterful move which left Shampoo
glomping herself, snatched up his quilt in the fraction of a
second before she recaptured him, and jumped out the window.

     Shampoo leapt after him, but suddenly reversed direction,
dove back into Ranma's room, and came out a second later carrying
her clothes.  She paused on the roof  and looked around for Ranma
while dressing hastily.  She spotted him six rooftops away and
opening rapidly, still carrying his quilt.  "Ranma!  You wait!"

     ~~~~~

     "I know, I look terrible," Ranma said to Akane as they met
at the Tendo Dojo the next morning.  "Let's just get this over
with quick.  Shampoo came by last night."

     Akane blinked.  "What?"

     Ranma cheered up a bit.  *Hey, whaddaya know, she's
listening.*  "Shampoo got inta my room last night.  She kicked
the window in and grabbed me, I pried her off and ran for it--
jeez, I think one of her ancestors was an octopus that fell into
the Nyannichuan-- led her back to the Nekohanten, crashed inta
Mousse's room with her chasin' me, and got away while she was
still tangled up with Mousse.  Other than that, nothin' happened,
but I can't exactly say I didn't lay a finger on her, but I
didn't touch her any more than I had ta, sorry."  He stopped,
panting, and waited for the pain.

     "Why are you telling me this?" Akane asked.  Her voice was
strange.

     "So you can hit me, and we can go to school," Ranma
explained as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world.

     "I'm still not following you," Akane said.

     "Look, I know you're goin' ta find out sooner or later, so I
might as well just tell ya up front, take my lumps, and get
going, right?  Come on, pound me already, it's gettin' late."

     "Oh."  Akane looked up at Ranma and shifted her bag to her
other hand.  Ranma screwed his eyes shut and waited.  He felt a
soft slap on his cheek, and heard Akane whisper "Bad Ranma."

     He opened his eyes, astonished.  Akane was already walking.
He stared at her retreating back, listened to the muffled
laughter, muttered "I ain't never gonna understand girls," and
followed her.

     ~~~~~

     "I'm home!"  Ranma pelted into his room to drop his
schoolbag.  Moving at a more sedate pace, he found his mother in
the main room.

     Nodoka looked up from her handicraft and the faintest of
frowns crossed her face.  "Ranma, would you go change, please?"

     "Huh?"  Ranma swiftly checked his clothing.  Nothing seemed
amiss.  "What's wrong with these?"

     Nodoka looked slightly uncomfortable.  "No, dear, not your
clothes.  I'd like to speak to... well... my daughter."

     Ranma's jaw dropped.  *She's flipped.*  Then a little bulb
lit.  "Oh.  Sure, Momma.  Be right back."  He left the room.  A
faint splash was heard.  Ranma came back in, drying her hair.
She dropped to sit cross-legged across from Nodoka.

     Nodoka frowned again, less faintly.  "Ranma-chan, that's not
how young ladies sit."

     "But... I'm not a 'young lady'!  I'm a man!  I'm sittin'
like a man sits!"

     "Ranma, don't shout at your mother.  And please, just do as
I say."  Ranma looked rebellious, but obeyed, shifting to sit on
her shins with her knees together.

     Nodoka relaxed and smiled at her child.  "Thank you, Ranma.
I know this is difficult for you."  She took a breath, then
continued.  "I've been thinking about your condition since I
learned of it, and I realized something."

     Ranma's expression shifted from rebellious to apprehensive.
     
     "I... I want you to be my daughter as well as my son."
     
     Ranma fell over sideways.  She returned to the vertical in
time to hear Nodoka say, "I miss Ranko.  I know you don't like
being a girl, but it looks as though you'll be... both... or
either... whichever it is... for a while to come, and I always
wanted a daughter, and it doesn't look like your father and I
will have any more children, so..."

     Ranma wanted to start with "Hell, no!" and continue from
there, but she couldn't.  Her mother was wringing her hands, and
was plainly near tears.  Her shoulders slumped and she bowed her
head.  "All right, Momma," she said weakly.  "I'll do whatever ya
want."  *I think I'd rather slit my belly.*

     Nodoka was around the table and hugging her in an instant.
"Thank you so much, Ranma-chan.  You've made your mother very
happy."  She held Ranma at arm's length and gazed at him proudly.
"Your father made you a man among men.  I promise, I'll make you
a woman among women as well!"

     Ranma stared at her, horrified.  "Don't knock yourself out,
Momma," she managed finally.

     Nodoka misunderstood.  "Oh, no, Ranma, it will be no trouble
at all.  It'll even be fun!  You'll see, being a woman isn't
nearly as bad as you think!  Why, if we..."

     Ranma tuned her mother's voice out and slowly began to pound
her head on the table.

     ~~~~~ end Housing ~~~~~

Next: Why are Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi all trying to feed Ranma?
in The Taming of the Horse chapter 2: Diet


Vince Seifert    Network Analyst     seifertv@csus.edu
http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/  updated 1998Jun04
CSUS hired me to build their network, not to speak for the university.