This idea was inspired by my sister, Stephanie.


What's in a Name?  

A short Xenogears fanfic by Jennifer Califf, idea by Stephanie Califf
  


Crewman 1: Sir, we have the enemy ship in our sights!

Ramsus: Prepare to fire the main guns.  Target the Yug-dra-seel.

Crewman 2: Sir?

Crewman 1: ? 

Ramsus: You heard what I said!  

Crewman 2: But sir, isn't it the Eeg-dra-sil?

Crewman 1: I always thought it was the Yig-dray-zil.

Crewman 3: No, I'm certain it's the Yeg-dre-sil.

Miang (quietly): Yggdrasil.

Crewman 2: I thought the "y" was acting as a vowel.

Crewman 1: How could it be a vowel at the beginning of a word?

Crewman 3: Well, if it's not in a standard dialect or an archaic word. .
. 

Crewman 1: How do you know though?  It could just as easily be Yig or
Yag.

Crewman 3: or Yeg!

Crewman 2: If you want to pick nits, for all we know, the "g" could be a
soft "j" sound.

Crewman 3: Yej-dre-sil?

Crewman 1: Certainly not!  Not with two "g"s next to each other like
that!

Crewman 3: Maybe one of them is soft and the other is hard.
Yeg-j-dre-sil?

Crewman 1 and 2: . . . .

Crewman 2: You've got to be kidding.

Crewman 1: It's bad enough having 4 consonants in a row.  You're just
making it worse.

Crewman 3: It was just a thought.

Miang (giggling quietly): hahahahaha

Crewman 2: It's only 3 consonants if the "y" is a vowel.

Crewman 1: Oh, don't start that again. . .

Ramsus: ENOUGH!!!!

(Ramsus is bright red, and several veins are popping out of his neck and
forehead.)

Ramsus: I don't care HOW it's pronounced.  I want you to fire THIS gun
at THAT ship!

Miang: ha ha ha ha ha

Ramsus: Miang, get a hold of yourself.

Miang: Yes, commander.

Ramsus: Now FIRE!

Crewman 1: We can't, sir.

Ramsus: Why not?

Crewman 2: We're out of range.

Ramsus: . . . .

Miang: Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!

Ramsus: MIANG!

Miang: Sorry, Commander.

Ramsus: I'm only going to say this once.  Set a course to persue the
Yug, Yeg, Eeg, OH HELL WITH IT!  AFTER THAT SHIP!! AND THIS TIME DON'T
LET IT GET AWAY!  Miang, you and I will confront them in our Gears.

Miang (collapsed in a heap on the deck laughing hysterically):
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!

Ramsus: Why me?

THE END
----------

Jennifer

jcaliff@nsai-petro.com       http://www.topher.net/~jcaliff/iserlohn.htm

"You're sinking fast into the goo
This is our last chance to say we'll miss you."
-- The Quicksand Song, sung by LB and the Bounders