Subject: Re: [FFML][R.5]Illuminations, Chapter 19/?[Dark][Lime]
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1998 11:53:47 -0500

Freemage wrote:

 This is a dark story, with several sexually suggestive scenes,

And a really high body count.

Aww, shucks, you noticed.... ~_@

Kasumi: Father. What is that thing sticking out of the water? It almost
periscope?

Soun: (blushes beet red) This is most embarrasing...but I can hide it 

from

you no longer. As my oldest daughter, you have a right to know, (allows
Kasumi to see what the 'periscope' is)

Kasumi: What a cute submarine! I didn't know you still played with bath
toys.

Bwahahh!!  Always nice to see my drivel inspire someone to write some 
real humor!

And just what the heck did you think it was going to be?! You're all a
bunch o' perverts! ^_^

You say that like it's a bad thing....

   Her father _should_ have been a wreck, that was true, but...
 something was wrong. 

Ah. At last someone gets a clue.

Myabe not....

Too bad. She was starting to get close there.

Hey, I've said before, frustration and near-misses are a major element 
of this piece.

   So, now that Akane--{And the others,} 

I think it would be okay to lose the thought brackets for this one.

she reminded himself

shouldn't that be 'herself'?

"Yup" on both counts.  I thought I had picked off all the him/her 
inconsistencies, but....  (And Gary also commented on my flagrant abuse 
of brackets.)

 forcibly--were out of the line of fire, she could focus on
 cracking the puzzle that surrounded this place.

   {But that'll have to wait til morning,} the redhead reminded
 herself 

two 'reminded herself's close together. I think I'd rewrod one.

You know, I was going to make a smart-ass reply involving that typo, but 
damn it, I _like_ it!  "Rewrod:  to have to correct a problem in your 
own writing that you frequently berate others for."

   {take her}

Un oh! This isn't good. Of course Kasumi could also be the one in 

league

with the Illumanti, making this some kind of twisted trap.

Heehee.  I love inducing this sort of speculation.

   {you bluff  you find life too dear to throw it away in that
 fashion}  Despite the bravado of the words, their tone betrayed
 the anxiety of the "speaker" at having misjudged its quarry.

   {Try me and learn, Foul One!  I would not need to maintain the
 resolve for long, merely an hour or so.

Heh. Good point. 

Thanks.  One of my favored scenes in this chapter.

   "Nabiki, Pop's dead."

   "What?!  Oh, Ranma... I--How?"

   "Sepukku."  The redhead uttered a derisive snort.  "Who'da
 thought he had it in him? 

If Nabiki (or anyone with IQ points) would take a look at what's been 

going

on the last...what, few days, they should be figuring out something is
terribly wrong here. Especially with the idea that Genma offed himself.
Everything's got to break soon.

2-3 Chapters, by my estimate... and long-time readers know just how good 
my estimates are in _that_ regard.

   Nabiki saw the flaw in the reasoning, and jumped at it with
 the speed of a cobra striking.  "But what if they don't?  What
 if they--whoever 'they' is--strike at the household again, while
 you're gone?"

Well, it's not like he's done a good job so far.

Yeah, but how else are you gonna nail Ranma but by appealing to his 
pride?

 when she was beat.  "I... care about Akane.  A lot.  I may even
 lo--you know--her.  As far as my 'intentions' go, if we ever get
 through this, I'm gonna follow through on the engagement,

Not that there are any rivals for his affections left anyway, which 

makes

me real suspicious as to what other motivations might be involved here.

*whistles*

Truthfully I'm surprised Ryouga's made it this far. Greasing him would 

be

just as easy as the others that don't usually live under the Tendo 

roof.

After all, they took out Cologne, so his abiltites shouldn't be a 

problem.

Aside from the fact splashing him with cold water downgrades his threat
scale to almost nothing. 

There are... plans for Ryouga.

                          End Chapter 19

Author's Notes:

Originally, this was going to be a short chapter.  Then it grew to a 
really long chapter 

Beg your pardon?

(for me, at least).

Oh. 

I don't know if you've managed to catch the occasional SPAM-thread on 
this, but Hotmail limits posts to 30-ishK due to the limit on the window 
I'm typing in.  As a result, anything over 25K is pusing the edge for 
me.

Another good chapter, as always. Although I'm waiting for something 

else

major to happen soon. 

Next chapter is more cultivation.  Then the harvest.

D.B. Sommer

As always, thanks for the feedback!

--Freemage

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