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Title: Downward Spiral
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Sadfic
Author: Jed Bidwell
Email: jedediah@tricountynet.net

Date Sent to FFML: 11/13/98

Summary:

       Ryoga Hibiki committs suicide, leaving Ranma to wonder why. Ranma's
quest for answers leads him somewhere he wouldn't expect...

{Paul}
  Goodness. Just... well, you EXPECT it, on some level, but you don't
  want what happens in this story to happen. To anyone. This story
  does a fairly good job of filling in most of the external details...
  the mind is then free to contemplate motive, and try and find a
  reason... though Ryoga's journal seems a bit TOO concise of a way
  to get all the details.... The story leaves us hanging as to the
  real reason why Ryoga slit his stomach... it drops clues, but never
  says outright what was running through the lost boy's head.  Could
  be anything... just the way it should be. Death isn't a clear-cut
  thing, death by suicide even less of one. The ending leaves a few
  slivers of hope and a legacy, but no sense of absolute closure...
  which is as it should be. 15 or 16 out of 20... nice work for
  someone whose name I didn't instantly recognize.

        Thanks. I've read quite a few fanfics where a Ranma character
committs suicide, especially Ryoga, but they mostly came out the same. Ranma
& Akane got hitched...Ryoga gets depressed...suicide by some means or
another. Also, most are told from his viewpoint (not that there's anything
wrong with that). I wanted to do something different with the idea, so I
told it from Ranma's point of view, and left the reasons vague.

        As for Ryoga's journal being too concise, well, I couldn't really
help that. =)

{Shunsuke}
  The start of this and throughout part one is a strong buildup, all
  the necessary details included with no wasted space.  The emotional 
  side works, and it cuts off to part to at the exact right moment, 
  leaving the obvious question "why?" 

        I'm glad you appreciated that.

  Parts two and three are still good, but not as deep into the whys 
  as they could go; Ranma as forensic psychologist works, but the 
  reasons for the suicide don't deviate from the standard Ranma 1/2 
  storyline.  This needed an extra kick, something unforeseen, to 
  make it shocking.  I like it, but an ending as unexpected as the 
  finish to "The Bitter End" would be better (I don't mean it needs 
  violence, but something surprising).  Overall, much better than
  most of the "Ryouga offs himself" fics.

        Really? I tried, but that was the best ending I could come up with.
Any suggestions how how the ending could be improved?

        Thanks for all your input! I really appreciate it.

Jed