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The FFML Reviews List
=====================
For the week of: November 7 - 13, 1998
Reviewers:
Paul Arezina <arezina@acad1.stvincent.edu>
Helen Szeto <Helen@eiw-ca.com>
Shunsuke <shunsuke@mailcity.com>
Synopses Submitted: 26 + 1 from October 1 - November 6
* * * * *
[BubbleGum Crisis]
- - - - -
Title: Bubblegum Rift, Chapter 1
Series: Bubblegum Crisis/Crash, Rifts
Genre: X-over
Author: Damien Hailey
Email: SAMAS_1@hotmail.com
Date Sent to FFML: Nov. 13, 1998
Size: 54 Kb
Summary:
The Knight Sabers deal with a possible new threat while
Nene meets an old friend.
{Shunsuke}
Bringing in concepts from RPGs or other information based sources
can't hurt, since there's no storyline or character behaviour to
worry about, people can be defined as the author goes along. But,
in this case, I'm not entirely sure if this swords and sorcery
element fits; sometimes it does (Chris Davies' Best Of All The
Years, but SM magic is part-scientifically based), though I have
doubts about this story.
As far as bringing in a group that offers a direct and equal
challenge to the Knight Sabers (without being another Mason/Largo
puppet) isn't new, but is fairly well executed here. Where the
KSs would walk into such a situation blind or would be unable to
handle it, I don't know if it works (personal opinion), but
certainly there's nothing so "out there" as to be beyond belief.
The wordwrapping error throughout (70 is the standard line length,
not 75) makes this hard going, as do the other style errors. Also,
the descriptions of fight scenes are accurate, but are sometimes
more detailed than necessary which slows down the pace. This
could use a little more care on the technical side, though overall
the ideas and telling of events is fairly reasonable.
* * * * *
[Crossover]
- - - - -
Title: Magic Shop
Series: Xover
Genre: Humor
Author: Phillip Masters
Email: PhilMasters@webtv.net
Date Sent to FFML: 11-13-98
Size: Short
Summary:
Why is it that no one trusts an evil Magic Shop owner anymore?
This might explain it.
{Paul}
Ah, it's always good to laugh. Wonderfully eldritch setup, nicely
ironic conclusion... 8 of 10 on the short scale.
{Shunsuke}
Old joke, new telling...I read it once as "the dungeon master's
wife" when I was into D&D. Short description: people have prior
knowledge of things they shouldn't. Seen some better, seen a
lot worse.
* * * * *
[Patlabor]
- - - - -
Title: Patlabor: Personal Files, Episode 06
Series: Patlabor
Genre: Um... Continuing, I guess
Author: David A. Tatum
Email: desaix@sysnet.net
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872/fanfics.htm
Archive #: 379
Date Sent to FFML: 11/14/98
Size:
Summary:
A day in Gomioka's life...
{Shunsuke}
Mr. Murphy, it's your cue, I think...
_A_ day? Just the wrong one, or every day? (Now that would be the
very image of hell.) This one's better than the last couple of
parts, more amusing and a little faster paced for easier reading,
and just as readable as all the other parts. Although, I was
surprised the Y2K issue never turned out to be more than an
inconvenience, I thought it would be a plot device for more things.
(Not criticism, that bit.)
{Helen}
Progressively getting better? Yes... there's not much that I'm
willing to write...but I'm looking to see where this story is
going...
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2]
- - - - -
Title: How Do You Spell HALLOWEEN 1/2?
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Halloween Comedy
Author: Sailor Alpha
Email: AlphSailor@aol.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Bay/7233/
Date Sent to FFML: 10/31/98
Size: 50K
Summary:
A Halloween comedy based on Ranma 1/2, as the entire crew spends
Halloween party at the Haunted Nekohanten, at courtsey of Cologne. However,
things go awry as an evil oni intrudes and kidnapps Ranma (who actually is
Akane)! Follow the gang as they set out on one of the hilarious Halloween-
based Ranma 1/2 fanfic!
{Shunsuke}
I like the idea, and I like the start and end, but the bulk of the
middle is such a mish-mash of events that it doesn't do as much as
it should. A lot of unnecessary extraneous action could be removed
and events key to Ranma, Akane, Shampoo, the oni, and maybe one or
two other people, could be more detailed. It's a good idea, it's
just too scattered to work.
Oh, and as I recall, Azusa called Genma-panda "Oscar"...
- - - - -
Title: Downward Spiral
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Sadfic
Author: Jed Bidwell
Email: jedediah@tricountynet.net
Date Sent to FFML: 11/13/98
Summary:
Ryoga Hibiki committs suicide, leaving Ranma to wonder why. Ranma's
quest for answers leads him somewhere he wouldn't expect...
{Paul}
Goodness. Just... well, you EXPECT it, on some level, but you don't
want what happens in this story to happen. To anyone. This story
does a fairly good job of filling in most of the external details...
the mind is then free to contemplate motive, and try and find a
reason... though Ryoga's journal seems a bit TOO concise of a way
to get all the details.... The story leaves us hanging as to the
real reason why Ryoga slit his stomach... it drops clues, but never
says outright what was running through the lost boy's head. Could
be anything... just the way it should be. Death isn't a clear-cut
thing, death by suicide even less of one. The ending leaves a few
slivers of hope and a legacy, but no sense of absolute closure...
which is as it should be. 15 or 16 out of 20... nice work for
someone whose name I didn't instantly recognize.
{Shunsuke}
The start of this and throughout part one is a strong buildup, all
the necessary details included with no wasted space. The emotional
side works, and it cuts off to part to at the exact right moment,
leaving the obvious question "why?"
Parts two and three are still good, but not as deep into the whys
as they could go; Ranma as forensic psychologist works, but the
reasons for the suicide don't deviate from the standard Ranma 1/2
storyline. This needed an extra kick, something unforeseen, to
make it shocking. I like it, but an ending as unexpected as the
finish to "The Bitter End" would be better (I don't mean it needs
violence, but something surprising). Overall, much better than
most of the "Ryouga offs himself" fics.
- - - - -
Title: At The Movies.
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Stream of Consciousness
Author: Carlin92
Email: Carlin92@aol.com
Homepage: none
Date Sent to FFML: 11/12/98
Size: 7k
Summary:
One night when Ranma's home alone, he thinks
about his life.
{Paul}
Stream of consciousness is difficult to pull off, but you've
managed to do it pretty well. Although there were a few flaws in
the narration (Neko-ken training was a pit of cats... you can't
walk out of a pit like you can out of an alley) and a few more
things that sent my own mind down tangents (Bruce Lee respecting
the Art? Didn't he sucker-punch some old man who'd devoted his
life to mastering chi just to prove a point?) but, overall, it was
a nice read. Nice to see someone can make Ranma streetwise without
making him a genius... but 6 of 10 on the short scale. Stream of
consciousness fics should drag the reader into the stream, not
force him to stop and start streams of his own.
{Shunsuke}
This didn't start out like Ranma talking about martial arts and
reverence for Bruce Lee, more like Chuck Norris. ^_^ It doesn't
really fit Ranma, though it is a nice bit of prose.
What really is an interesting snippet to take away from this is the
way Ranma views Nabiki; take this view and wording, develop it into
a storyline unto itself, and _that_ would make for an interesting
concept.
- - - - -
Title: Things To Do:
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Stream of Consciousness
Author: Carlin92
Email: Carlin92@aol.com
Homepage: none
Date Sent to FFML: 11/12/98
Size: 3k
Summary:
A sad woman has had enough and makes a
decision.
{Paul}
Insert economy-size evil villain laugh. Someone else who thinks
Kasumi Knows More Than She Lets On, and acts on it. This one's a
much better stream of consciousness; I can almost trace the leaps
from here to there, hither and yon through the mind... a very nice
interpretation, some oddly poignant flashbacks, and a work than
tugs at the deeper emotions just a bit... 8 of 10 on the short
scale.
- - - - -
Title: Nabiki:Streetwalker part 1
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Lemon
Author: P-R-P-Chan
Email: prpchan@colba.net
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~prpchan/little/index.htm
Date Sent to FFML: 11/12/98
Size: 7 Kb
Summary:
Nabiki will do almost anything for money, what if we take out that
almost?
{Shunsuke}
Hmmm...the sex scene here (and there ain't much else) is rather
minimalist, with little description and buildup. Given what the
author says in his notes about the plot filling the spaces between
the hentai bits, that make it a bit disappointing. (Hey! *Both*
my hands are _always_ on the keyboard when I read lemons!) The
descriptions and the writing fit the story, but the feel...er,
depth...er, *style* need some polishing.
- - - - -
Title: The Party's Over part 3
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: continuation
Author: P-R-P-Chan
Email: prpchan@colba.net
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~prpchan/little/index.htm
Date Sent to FFML: 11/15/98
Size: 8k
Summary:
Alcohol removes inhibitions, destroys barriers.. and cause
fights.. everyone is completely soused.. no more to be said.
{Shunsuke}
Yes, everybody says what they feel, but is this what they really
feel? If you read with an open mind, no problem, if you read with
a strict idea of who loves who, you'll be disappointed. Personally,
I can see the matchups the author lists, but I doubt whether alcohol
would be enough to make people do what they do, though it is fairly
believeable (except maybe Shampoo).
My only real knock on this is that it needs some cleaning up of
errors. The story is consistent with the first two parts, though,
and the jump in time between scenes at the end of part two and the
start of part three are nicely timed.
- - - - -
Title: Another Time, Same Place: Chapter 5
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Next Generation
Author: Donny Cheng
Email: chengd@ucalgary.ca
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/4537
Date Sent to FFML: November 12, 1998
Size: 20k
Summary:
Memories of the past resurface as events in the presents move
forward.
{Paul}
Goodness... this is proof positive that next gen fics can and do
work. The scene with Mikado and Asuza in love was absolutely
priceless, if cloying. I'm trying to keep the names straight after
a few weeks' delay, though... perhaps a guide to who's who and
who's whose kids included in every chapter would be in order. The
backstory is slowly building, and it doesn't seem at all forced...
you have it all planned out somewhere, likely. Your characters act
like you do, at least. Looking forward to the next installment...
14 or 15 out of 20 for this one.
- - - - -
Title: Journal of the Ages: Ranma Ch. 3
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alt. Worlds/ a bit Dark
Author: Jusenkyo Guide
Email: jusenkyoguide@mailcity.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/~jusenkyoguide/
Date Sent to FFML: Sat. Nov. 15
Size: 55k
Summary:
The third chapter of the Journal of the Ages finds Ranma as a priest in 12th
century England
{Paul}
Let me say first that Father Ranma is more than a bit of an
incongruity to me... Ranma and Akane are Japanese names, after
all... then again, the journal may be transliterating or some such.
But Ranma makes as good a priest as he does anything else, and you
somehow manage to instill romantic chaos in a situation where
romance seems to be an impossibility. Dark is right, though... the
demon Ranma fights is certainly an evil one, and Ranma's death
seems to carry with it a touch or irony, or is that a hint of
poetic accompaniment? Either way, a nice story, one which I
DEFINITELY want to see more of. 16 or 17 out of 20.
- - - - -
Title: Hard To Say Goodbye, chapter 10
Series: Ranma
Genre: Drama
Author: Kayu-chan
Email: k-chan@rocketmail.com
Date Sent to FFML: 14th November, 1998
Size: 37kb
Summary:
Kasumi confronts Nabiki over the letter as the guilt-laden writer lies in a
hospital bed downstairs. The strain of recent events and revelations haunts
the eldest Tendo sister as the youngest sister's behaviour forces each of
them to make a decision about what to do.
{Paul}
Drama indeed. With tragedy on top, much of the time. On the surface,
this story seemed to be so much marking time, but things have
finally managed to work their way to a head. Part of me is railing
against seeing Kasumi being anything but calm and happy, but another
part of me is quietly humming "Everyday People" and chuckling to
itself. Rather like it did for Palmer-san's "Black", actually. This
is only the names of Ranma... superpowers are notably absent, but
what results is a lot more... human, because of it. More real,
somehow. And with a story like this, real is the best you can hope
for. 18 and up out fo 20.
- - - - -
Title: CMD Chapter 8 - Throw Another Ranma onto the Barbie
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Continuation
Author: Jim Lazar
Email: jimlazar@earthlink.net
Homepage: http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
Date Sent to FFML: 11/12/98
Size: 60 Kb
Series Summary:
A series chronicling sixty years of Akane Tendo's life.
Some happy moments and some sad. Akane and Ranma love each other, but is
that enough to keep them together? Will James Davidson ever finish the
book on Akane's life he is writing? Not if his fiancee, Hanaki Ono,
keeps distracting him.
Chapter Summary:
The mysterious black monolith from chapter 7 sucks our heroes into a
nightmare world. Separated and alone, what will they do to survive the
attack by an unseen enemy. In the words of Ranma: "How the hell can you
hit something you can't see? Ouch!" If Akane manages to escape, will she
want to pay the price?
{Shunsuke}
Jim...what are you doing, Jim? I think you should sit down, think
calmly about writing this story, and take a stress mallet. ^_^
It seems kind of unfair to bring another new person into the tale
just to kill her off immediately. If it was a stranger, it would
be easier to swallow, but being who she is (#3), I didn't want to
see her die. (I'm not heartless, I'm as horrified as anybody else
at strangers being killed.) The story in itself fits with the rest
of the series, and the background/present events make an
interesting contrast (comparison?) to the events James is thinking
about.
- - - - -
Series: Ranma 1/2
Title: Nabiki Tendo Must Die
Genre: Ludicrous
Author: Matthew Lewis
Email: maybeso@ican.net
Archive #: 227
Date Sent to FFML: 11/11/98
Size: 15 Kb
Summary:
I think the title and genre kind of sums it up rather
well, don't you? But if you must... Ranma has a revelation, but
must decide on how to put it into action.
{Paul}
*piku* Ladies and gentlemen, we have here an example of Parodius
Scribus, the fanfiction parody fic. Almost every little insane
deviation from the norm, wrapped up in one writing package for your
comedic convenience. Funny to read, in places, but not as funny as
its individual parts. Perhaps distorting everything beyond belief
is as unamusing as having nothing distorted at all. 6 of 10 for
humor, 12 or 13 out of 20 overall.
{Shunsuke}
Y'know, if you take away the out-there (attempts at) silliness,
this could work as a dark comedy, not just a parody fic. The
ideas and elements would be much better served, and would be much
funnier by not trying to be funny, if you understand my meaning.
- - - - -
Title: Three Souls, One Heart, Chapter 7
Series: Ranma
Genre: Continuation
Author: David A. Tatum
Email: desaix@sysnet.net
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872/fanfics.htm
Archive Number: 322 (I think)
Date Sent to FFML: 11/13/98
Summary:
Ranma and Akane work themselves closer for a couple of days.
{Paul}
Well, it's building to what can only be lemon. Unless there are a
few surprises along the way.... But as for the story itself, rather
than the overhanging plot line... it reminds me a bit of the later
chapters in the Shadow Chronicles, as far as Ranma and Akane's
relationship goes. Although Ranma seems a lot more intelligent than
normal when he's telling Akane about how they have to keep things
secret... he seems a lot colder than he is in the rest of the fic.
And his tone varies a bit throughout... he seems detached in places,
which I rather doubt would be possible. You've put down what needs
to be said... but, having said that, you need to work a bit on
exactly HOW it's said. 12 or 13 out of 20.
- - - - -
Title: "Let's Try That Again"
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Original Flavor
Author: Tonbo
Email: tonbo@onramp.net
Homepage: http://rampages.onramp.net/~jet/anime/fanfics/
Date Sent to FFML: Nov 12, 98
Size: 18K
Summary:
A Sequel to "Why Don't You Try Me For Real Some Time?"
Akane grows increasingly frustrated when Ranma won't
initiate another encounter like their first one. The first
story is available at the site above & should be read first.
{Paul}
Nudge nudge, wink wink, saynomore... 'S about how I felt through
the whole story. This is coming off rather like Bob Barnes's
"Masks"... only with a slightly different thing to hide from the
prying eyes of family. Heh. A good sequel, if not so long or so
intense as the story that it follows. 13 or 14 out of 20.
{Shunsuke}
Is this Klingon foreplay, or what? This kind of fic makes me
think we need another fruit word for fics with sexual
suggestiveness...maybe we can call them "oranges" as compared to
lemons and limes.
Nothing too silly here, and nothing that seems to go beyond the
normal bounds of the characters or series aside from how far the
two main characters have progressed in their relationship. I
didn't read the previous fic but even this isn't that much of a
leap in events. (That's a good thing, 'fcourse.)
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Gold Digger]
- - - - -
Title: Neko Can't
Series: Ranma 1/2 and Gold Digger
Genre: Crossover
Author: James Lee
Email: JLee100441@aol.com
Homepage:http://members.aol.com/JLee100441/page/index.htm
Date Sent to FFML:13 Nov 1998
Size:14K
Summary:
The Nekoken training goes wrong and Ranma is hospitalized. A
warrant is put out for Genma's arrest. What happens when Ranma wakes up
still under the effects of the Nekoken?
{Shunsuke}
In the "Next" section at the end, the author mentions what he has
in mind for the next chapter, and I think that's the problem...not
in telling us what will happen, but in doing too much too soon.
This idea is the type that needs more buildup and background. I
definitely like the concept for the storyline, I'd just like to see
better execution and more detail.
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Reboot]
- - - -
Title: Wild Boot v1.8.3
Series: Ranma/Reboot
Genre: Fusion
Author: David Farr
Email: djfarr@ihug.co.nz
Homepage: http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr
Date Sent to FFML: 14 November 1998
Size: 31K
Summary:
Ranma, Shampoo, RyoGA and Ukyo must hunt down the web creature that has
invaded Mainframe before it escapes and calls in more of its time. However
with
Akane off-line they must turn to Mainframe's most secret organisation for
help.
The Sprites in Black.
{Paul}
Oh my goodness. Another wonderful parody, some very nicely
maintained tension throughout the script, and just when you think
you've won... it's over. And you've lost. And no matter how much
you scream it's unfair... dang it all, I kept paging down looking
for the Old Dream Ending or something and didn't find it... abrupt
tone change there. You can't just cut this off without an
epilogue... unless the epilogue IS the introduction to the next
season, in which case I understand... but this was a great closer.
16 or 17 out of 20.
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / WOD]
- - - - -
Title: Daiblerie:Nerima part 7
Series: Ranma 1/2/WOD
Genre: crossover
Author: P-R-P-Chan
Email: prpchan@colba.net
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~prpchan/little/index.htm
Date Sent to FFML: 11/13/98
Size: 6k
Summary:
Nabiki wakes up rather painfully, Kuno loses in a batle of twits,
and Happosai starts feeling his age.
{Shunsuke}
Like the earlier parts, this reads like it was haphazardly put
together, and seems written to be deliberately so over the top that
it's only believeable as a spamfic. I can't dictate how to write,
but could I suggest a more serious at this series? With a proper
effort and without the ridiculous exaggerations, this could be
something worth a read.
* * * * *
[Sailor Moon]
- - - - -
Title: After School Part 2: The Silver Kimono Wedding
Series: Sailor Moon
Genre: Continuation
Author: Ajax
Email: breaker@technologist.com
Date Sent to FFML: 12.11.98
Size: 16 Kb
Summary:
Mamoru finally gets to marry the woman of his dreams.
{Paul}
Hmm. Seen the wedding done before, never really seen it done so...
ordinarily. But ordinary is good. Two things. One: You write
entirely in prose or entirely in script. Meaning you don't give
flashback cues, you have characters remember things. Two: If you
use Japanese names, use them consistently. Yuuchiro (correct me
if I'm wrong) is the boarder at the shrine in the original. Other
than that, it was a nice story, if unspectacular... 11 or 12 out
of 20.
- - - - -
Title: Stories of Life - Wet Boardwalk
Series: Sailor Moon
Genre: Flashback
Author: Ajax
Email: breaker@technologist.com
Homepage: -
Date Sent to FFML: 11.14.98
Size: 12 Kb
Summary:
A story of Haruka, of Michiru, and of horses and water
{Paul}
Hmm. Thing 1: s/he and him/her are the WORST (or at least most
grating on the eyes) ways to refer to someone of indeterminate
gender. Gender unknown persons are referred to with male pronouns,
usually. Thing 2: Haruka and Michiru live together, don't they? Or
is that just a manga thing? Thing 3: Could you not use the word
"sea" so much when you talk about Neptune? If you're going to keep
referring to it, you may want to take a page from SME and call it
the Onesea, and occasionally swap "water" in and out for all the
references to "sea". Thing 4: Skye and Zee... took about five
seconds to register, and it seems kinda corny, but it IS the
original Japanese... I suppose Distant and Rising would be even
cornier names. Thing 5: Nice take on their various pastimes in the
past Silver Millennium. Thing 6: Tag this sucker WAFFy when you
repost/send it elsewhere. Thing 7: 9 or 10 out of 20... higher if
you can correct the shortcomings.
- - - - -
Title: Interlude, with Stars
Series: Sailor Moon: Circles of Time
Genre: Serious
Author: Angus MacSpon
Email: macspon@ihug.co.nz
Homepage: http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/
Date Sent to FFML: 10 Nov 1998
Size: 18K
Summary:
A sequel to Richard Lawson's "That Time Will Come". After Sailor Pluto's
death, her life becomes a lot stranger.
{Paul}
Oh dear, yes. I'm reminded of something I saw in biology class, how
a DNA strand with the right pairings can manage to cut off a loop
of itself and send it spiraling out, free.... *ahem* At any rate, a
very nice chapter, very heavy on the imagery, almost surreal...
scratch that. Definitely surreal. Also definitely the interlude it
claims to be... can't say that much happens, but oh the
possibilities from here.... A wonderfully poetic work, easily worth
17 or 18 out of 20.
{Helen}
Dagnabbit! Just when I thought that there would be a lull in
SM-fics... along comes this fairly written story by Mr. MacSpon --
who's better known for his SM-fic SM4200 or his Ranma fics... It's
a good read and nothing like Pluto's umm... inscrutability works
here... ^_^
* * * * *
[Tenchi Muyo!]
- - - - -
Title: Aikan Muyo Chapter#11: No Need for Two Swords, Part 3
Series: Tenchi Muyo
Genre: Lemon, Drama
Author: Happosai
Email: happosai@jps.net
Homepage: http://ucsu.colorado.edu/~andersor/fanfic/fanfic.html
Date Sent to FFML: November 14, 1998
Size: 239K
Summary:
Kintarou, a minor member of the Jurai Royal family, visits a
pirate and smugglers' outpost to meet with Nagi, who reveals that she's
making preparations to attempt to capture Ryoko again. Meanwhile, on
Earth, Tenchi attempts to deal with Aeka's decision to leave, and his
request for her and Ryoko to become friends has unexpected results.
{Paul}
Lemon? What lemon? You take out maybe one page in the first part
and there is no lemon... Odd, that. Or perhaps not so odd. I've
come to expect it from the series, after all. The bulk of this
chapter is spent tying up a lot of loose and not-so-loose ends from
previous chapters, sweeping out all the untruths, half-truths, and
misconceptions laying about the Masaki home. Well, most of them,
anyway. A few of the remarks that get made are bursting with
dramatic irony, a few more with the more prosaic kind, and a few
provide living proof that science jokes can be done and done to
comedic effect. And Noboyuki wins the coveted Silver Mihoshi for
Most Incongruous Statement of the Year. All in all, a chapter that
proves yet again that lemons with plot work. 18 and up out of 20.
[Helen]
<Mweh. Heh. Heh.> My apologies to Andrew Haung. ^_^ I'm happy to
see that Aikan Muyo is back on track. The story although a lemon,
does combine some of the best writing styles that I have seen
within the plot and character development. The scene between
Kintarou and Nagi is one of the most... ummm.. interesting
portrayals of Juraian culture... <snap! Hai! Oujo-sama....>
But even if I disregarded the underlying contextual basis for this
lemon story, there is more than enough plotlines introduced that
we, as readers must scrabble to catch. We can see the differing
aspects of the relationships between Ryouko, Tenchi and Ayeka...
and the difficulties encountered when two very strong
personalities consciously diminish themselves for love... ^^
- - - - -
Title: Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Ohki Plus One/Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-ohki+1
Series: Tenchi Muyo
Genre: Remake
Author: Trakal
Email: trakal@map.com
Date Sent to FFML: Nov 12, 1998
Summary:
Part one of a remake of the OAV series including a revamped version of
the Operative.
{Shunsuke}
Though said to be a remake, this reads much like a preamble to the
standard OAV storyline. That's not a bad thing, it makes for nice
reading and logically fills in the blanks that exist. I suppose in
future parts we'll see differences in how and when things happen,
and what seems like the big question, is the scientist actually
Washu? No names are mentioned, so I wonder....
- - - - -
Title: Jurai's Debt part 4
Series: Tenchi Muyo
Genre: Sci-fi
Author: Douglas Whiddon
Email: Doug_W@geocities.com
Date Sent to FFML: 11-13-98
Size:22k
Summary:
Tenchi travels to Jurai and stops at the GP station on the way.
And a new furry creature joins the cast.
{Shunsuke}
*Much* cleaner and easier to read than earlier parts, the only
thing wrong with the series has been fixed. (Thankfully!) A nice
logical progression of events, and good timing of when to introduce
certain elements like Mitsuki, Zelgadis (who? tell me more!) and
other things. Nice one.
- - - - -
Title: Jurai's debt side-story 2 'The more the merrier'
Series: Tenchi Muyo
Genre: lemon
Author: Douglas Whiddon
Email: Doug_W@geocities.com
Date Sent to FFML: 11-13-98
Size:13k
Summary:
Tenchi joins the 'hyperspace club' with Mihoshi and Ryoko.
{Shunsuke}
Side story? It reads more like the writer's getting his jollies
from doing this. ^_^ Not that I begrudge him, at least this could
be called tasteful or even cute. It doesn't really add anything
to the series and can be skipped without missing anything, but it's
kinda fun.
* * * * *
[Tenchi Muyo! / Evangelion]
- - - - -
Title: Angels, Heaven, and Earth #2
Series: Tenchi Muyou/Evangelion
Genre: Crossover
Author: Ken Arromdee
Email: arromdee@inetnow.net
Homepage: http://www.inetnow.net/~arromdee/fanfic.html
Date Sent to FFML: 11/14/98
Size: 31K
Summary:
It's Akuma's date with Rei, or so he hopes, anyway.
{Helen}
<Heh!> I dunno... but the story is getting interestin' now... this
is not the first story where descendents of Jurains have had
problems explaining their families... but I like the character
interactions... a tenable fusion between Tenchi and Eva... And the
presentation of Asuka is very much in character.. ^_^
{Shunsuke}
This really doesn't work for me because of the way events and
character interactions are described; there is a distinct something
"missing" all the way through. Things happen, but there's no
reason or suggestion as to why. Akuma asks for a date, Rei goes
with him, Gendou and Misato ask themselves questions about Akuma,
et cetera, yet there's no connections. The events themselves
could make sense if the author filled in the blanks as to the whys.
Right now, it reads more like an outline than a story. (No offense
intended, mind you. ^_^)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
[And one from last week that was missed....]
[Crossovers]
- - - - -
Title: Angel's Chronicles Book One: Angel's Folly
Chapter 19: Final Sacrifices
Series: Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyou!, El Hazard,
Oh My Goddess!, All-Purpose Cultural Cat-Girl Nuku Nuku,
Magic Knight Rayearth plus Original Characters
Genre: Crossover, New Character, Action
Author: Nikholas "Radler" F. Toledo
Email: makoto@smarqweb.com, radler@tri-isys.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/angelchr.html
Date Sent to FFML: 2315H-2318H 29 Oct 98 (+0800H)
Size: Totalling 206 KB (posted in four parts)
Summary:
Blood flows in the streets of Tokyo, as the forces of
good and evil break open the secrets binding and separating them.
Power erupts and denial is impossible. The universe itself begins
to converge as God waits for the angels to bear wings and enact the
final movements of mankind.
{Shunsuke}
Having not read earlier parts of this, I was surprised to find
things seemed coherent right from the top; true, I was scratching
my head not knowing certain details of what came before, but at
least I wasn't left saying "wha?"
The jumping between fights is nicely timed, letting the reader see
a fair bit of each scene, neither staying too long to forget about
other events, nor too short that it wasn't worth the time. The
fight scenes are also fairly well done. Nothing over the top, and
nothing beyond the bounds of what the characters normally do with
rare exceptions (adding an unused stun weapon to Nuku Nuku isn't a
stretch, so it works).
Also to the author, you might want to check your "reminders" at the
start; I can see that you're changing names, but the error here
causes what you said to make no sense.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
End of the FFML Reviews List for the week of: November 7- 13, 1998