Hmmmm...

I like the concept and the plotting. Two problems do intrude, however:

Talking Head Syndrome: Washuu-chan explains the basis of this work in a
lecturelike style. I know this is canonical, but it MIGHT NOT be the
best way to start this off. My suggestion would be to reveal the nature
of the Wings more gradually, through Tenchi's experience of the Kain
Event, and perhaps have a summation by Washuu-chan at the end.

Much of the grammar seems a bit unwieldy, as does distinction between
narration, speech, and thoughts in some points. A good
proofread/revision should catch all that.
-- 
David Siegel
dhs28@columbia.edu
<Webpage Coming Soonish>
There's a moral somewhere in here. I'm absolutely sure of it.