On Sat, 19 Dec 1998, David Johnston wrote:

Donny Cheng wrote:

On Thu, 17 Dec 1998, Razorclaw X wrote:

  Where to start? Beside how utterly-predictable the story was, beside
how, almost word-for-word (sarcastic) it was the same as with the
original Christmas Carol with a few names switched around, beside how
cliche the devices are (then again, EVERYTHING about the original
Christmas Carol was cliche, but then, it was the Mother of the cliche),

I was afraid of that when I started writing this story.  It has been done
countless of times in the past by many other better storytellers.  I have
watched the half dozen different Christmas Carols myself and many of them
twice or more.  I tried to give as much a Nabiki spin as I could, though,
and it looks like I didn't succeed too well.  Some of the dialogue, I've
already been told is not Nabiki-esque, so there will be slight changes in
how she talks.

First thing to remember about Nabiki is that she has a sense of humor,
however malicious.  This is an important difference between her and Scrooge,
who never found anything funny.  

True.  Will note that when I make changes to the dialogue.

You also might want to rethink the whole Tiny Tim routine which isn't 
especially likely in 1990s Japan.  A more likely tragic consequence of 
Nabiki's behavior is somebody committing suicide.  

I started to notice that when I actually wrote up to Ten's appearance.
One reason I didn't include much of Ten into the ending and focussed on
her family more.  I mainly kept 'Tiny Tim' for the contrast in the two
deaths shown by Skuld.