(looks at the rumbling in the distance)

Oh, dear... some things will never be quieted, I guess.

On Thu, 17 Dec 1998, Freemage . wrote:

Nicholas:

   This was... beautiful.  A wonderfully warm mood, wrapped up in a plot 
of delicate lace.  Thank you for the read.  Oh, and that dream sequence 
was particularly effective.

Thank you.

   There was, however, one teensy-tiny thing that was driving me to 
distraction by the end of the fic:  I think you used some variation of 
"You deserve to be happy" at least five times in the course of the fic, 
particularly between Akane and Ranma.

(blinks)

Hmmm.  You may be right.  Mind you, I do want to get this message across -
that they deserve to be happy, and that they also have to struggle for
that happiness.  I may have overdone it a bit; I dunno.  Will check it
through.
 

   I don't know if you're of the school that doesn't revise your fics, 
beyond simple errors, once they've been posted (you are certainly adept 
enough of a writer to pull it off), but if not, and you do go over this 
again at some point, I urge you to find some other phrase, or maybe just 
some other way of having characters convey support.  Too much 
repetition, even when it might very well occur in real life, can create 
an unfortunate resonance in writing.

It depends on the situation.  If I haven't posted them to RAAC yet, then
they are still very much open for revision.  In this case, I haven't.  

   Of course, I may be completely off base here.  In any case, I look 
forward to the close of the Iris series.

Don't worry about being off-base, so long as you're civil about it by the
end.  Heck, I've been in the wrong ballpark on occasion.  ^_^

--Freemage

-- Nick