Hi.  Before I start I thought I should introduce myself since this is the
first time I've written something in the mailing list.  My name is Rain Ayo.
I write SM fanfics ( although they're not really that good ).
This is a good topic.  I've read some self-inserted fanfics, and I've also
written a few ( scary thought... ).  I've come to realize through experience,
that I cannot write a GOOD self-insert fic.  I can only recall one self-insert
fic that I did enjoy.  ( I've only read SM fanfics so my knowledge is
definatly limited. )  
I also have a question for any of those that might wish to answer.  ( Stupid
as it may sound... )  I've done my share of self-insert fics and I've gotten
some responses.  I've written exactly three self-insert stories.  Two out of
the three stories make no mention what-so-ever ( that is of course unless you
know me very well ) that they are self-inserts.  My stories center around
someone else and I just happen to be in the background.  My question is:  Is
something like that a better idea than blatent self-insertion.  Would you
rather read something where the self-inserted characters are really obvious
and really the main characters or would you rather read something that is a
little less obvious and not centered apon YOU?
I've included an example of one of my stories.  It's just a short story called
Insensitive.  As you may see, if you read my writing, that most of my stories
are romance.  This is a little Usagi/Mamoru break-up fic.  No, it does not
involve their getting back together, but just how they feel.  I would
appreciate any and all feedback on my question.

Thanks, 
Rain Ayo
http://members.tripod.com/~Rain_Ayo/


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Well here's another of my attempts at music stories.  This story is set after 
Darien and Serena's break up in the second half of Sailor Moon R.  It's just 
about the questions that are going through the minds of out lovely couple 
during this time of break-up.  It's also got some great music.  The songs 
you'll find in this story is "Tear in Your Hand" by Tori Amos and 
"Insensitive" by Jann Arden by which this story has been titled.  I hope you 
like this story.  Let me know what you think.

Enjoy!

Insensitive 
by Rain Ayo (rain_ayo@hotmail.com )


	Serena stopped in front a small cafe.  Inside there was a woman 
playing a piano and it seemed almost empty otherwise.  She went in and took a 
seat off in a corner.  A waitress came up and she ordered a soda.  After the 
waitress handed her her soda she continued her brooding.
	'I just don't understand.  How is it possible that he just suddenly 
doesn't care about me anymore?' she asked herself.  'One minute we were happy 
the next he hates me.  What did I do?  Did he realize who he was dating?  I 
know I'm just a klutzed-out ditsy teenager, but I love him.  He said he loved 
me.  We were so happy.  Then Reenie showed up.  It sounds silly, but I feel 
like she's taken Darien away from me.  It's impossible isn't it.  He couldn't 
fall in love with a little girl.
	'Stop it Serena.  You're just being silly.  Darien doesn't love you. 
And he most certainly doesn't love Reenie in that way.  He's just worried 
about the little squirt.  We all are.  There are some real sickos after her.'
	Serena looked up and started to listen to the young woman plaing the 
piano.  She was playing a song that she'd never heard before.  It was a song 
that relied heavily on the piano.  It had a hauntingly beautiful sound to it.
	The young woman playing the piano was different as well.  She wore 
wide leg jean with a few holes in them from obvious wear and tear.  She wore 
a black tee-shirt with the picture of a woman on it.  Serena couldn't quite 
make out the writting that was underneath the picture.  Around the young 
woman's waist was a black and white flannel shirt.  Her long aubun hair was 
pulled back in a loose braid. 
	When she finished her song she looked over at Serena.  "Can I play 
something for you?" she asked Serena.
	"Well what was that you just played?" Serena asked.
	"Take to the Sky by Tori Amos.  I wouldn't be surprised if you 
haven't heard of her," she said.
	"How about something else by her," Serena said.
	"Sure.  I bet you'll like this song," the pianist said.  She started 
to play another song.  "This is called Tear in Your Hand."

All the world just stopped now
So you say you don't wanna 
Stay together anymore
Let me take a deep breath babe
If you need me 
Me and Neil'll be hanging out 
With the Dream King
Neil says hi by the way
I don't believe you're leaving 
'Cause me and Charles Manson 
Like the same ice cream
I think it's that girl
And I think there're pieces of me 
You've never seen 
Maybe she's just pieces of me
You've never seen...well

All the world is all I am
The black of the blackest ocean
And that tear in your hand
All the world is 
Danglin'...danglin'...danglin'
For me darlin' you 
You don't know the power that you have
With that tear in your hand
Tear in your hand

Maybe I ain't used to maybes
Smashing in a cold room
Cutting my hands up
Everytime I touch you
Maybe maybe
It's time to wave good-bye now
Time to wave good-bye now

Caught a ride with the moon
I know I know you well 
Well better than I used to
Haze all clouded up my mind
In the daze of the why
It could've never been
So you say and I say
You know you're full of wish
And your "baby baby baby babies"
I tell you there're pieces of me
You've never seen 
Maybe she's just pieces of me 
You've never seen well...

All the world is all I am
The black of the blackest ocean
And that tear in your hand
All the world is 
Danglin'...danglin'...danglin'
For me darlin' you 
You don't know the power that you have
With that tear in your hand
Tear in your hand

	Serena applauded for the pianist.  "That was good," she said.     She 
got up and took the seat by the piano.  
	"Do you sing?" the pianist asked.  "I bet you're really good."
	"Well I sing to the radio at home, but I don't think that really 
counts," Serena said.
	"Oh I bet you're good any way.  Here give it a try.  What would you 
like to sing?" the pianist asked.

	The two of the spent the afternoon just singing different songs.  The 
pianist, Asa, invited her to sing later on that night.  Serena got all 
excited and told all her friends.  They all said they were going to come and 
see her debut.
	So that evening there was a small crowd in the cafe.  The owner of 
the cafe went over to Asa and Serena before they started to play.  "I don't 
know what you did, Asa, but you certainly got a crowd tonight," he said.
	"Well it's all thanks to my friend here.  She's gonna sing some if 
you don't mind.  Her friends all wanted to come and see her," Asa said.
	"I don't mind.  You should come more often.  If you're going to bring 
this many customers to my cafe," the owner said.
	Serena smiled.  "I think I'll see how terrible I am tonight first," 
she said.
	Darien entered the cafe.  He'd overheard Lita and Mina talking about 
some show that Serena was going to be in that night.  He thought he'd check 
it out.  He planned on staying out of her sight, he didn't want her to bother 
him.  He didn't think he could take much more of his pushing.  If she didn't 
see him then he didn't have to see her so hurt.
	The pianist at the piano looked in his direction and smiled at him.  
She turned to someone he couldn't quite see.  So he hurried off to a table.
	"Welcome to tonights little show," the pianist said.  "To those of 
you who come here often, I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine.  This 
is Serena Tsukino and she and I are going to do some songs together."
	The pianist started with a song he hadn't heard of before.  "This is 
a song especially for my friend here.  It's called Tears in Your Hand by Tori 
Amos," the pianist said.
	Serena sat down beside Asa and smiled as she played the song again.  
It reminded her a little of her and Darien.  Half way through the song she 
spotted someone she hadn't expected in the crowd.  Darien was hiding himself 
in the corner.  It took all the will power she had not to go over to him and 
hug him.  It just made her want to do what she was going to do all that more.
	She whispered something to Asa and she nodded.  When she finished her 
song she made the announcement.  "Well this next song is going to be sung by 
Serena.  It's called Insensitive and it's by Jann Arden," she said.
	She stood up and looked over at her friends.  They all gave her 
thumbs up, so she took a deep breath and the song started.

How do you cool your lips 
after a summer's kiss
how do you rid the sweat
after the body bliss
How do you turn your eyes
from the romantic glare
how do you block the sound 
of the voice you'd know anywhere

oh I really should have known 
by the time you drove me home
by the vagueness in your eyes
your casual good-byes
by the chill in your embrace
the expression on your face
that told me
you might have some advice to give
on how to be
Insensitive

Insensitive
Insensitive

How do you numb the skin
after the warmest touch
how do you slow your blood 
after the body rush
how do you free your soul
after you've found a friend
how do you teach you heart
it's a crime to fall in love again

oh you probably won't remember me
it's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few
who went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue I'm out of touch
I fell to fast I feel too much
I thought that you might have
some advice to give on how to be
Insensitive

oh I really should have known 
by the time you drove me home
by the vagueness in your eyes
your casual good-byes
by the chill in your embrace
the expression on your face
that told me
you might have some advice to give
on how to be
Insensitive

	'Is this really what she thinks of me?  I wish I hadn't had to do 
this.  Why the damn dreams?  Why did they have to ruin the greatest thing 
that has ever happened to me?' Darien asked himself.  'What if I just ignored 
the dreams?  Would nothing happen?  Is it just a dream?  I love her too much 
to hurt her like this.'
	Darien stood up and Serena saw him.  She looked like she was going to 
cry.  She turned away from him and sat back down beside Asa.  She whispered 
to Asa and then hurried to the bathroom.  Darien stopped himself from going 
after her.  He shook his head and left the cafe. 
	'That song was meant to be heard by me, wasn't it.  I've lost her 
haven't I.  I'm so sorry Serena.  I did this all for you.  I wish you could 
know exactly how I feel about you,' Darien thought.

	In the bathroom Serena wiped away the last stray tear.  'I have to 
get over him.  It's over between us.  It's best this way.  It'll hurt less if 
it ends now,' she thought to herself.  Somehow she didn't really think that 
she'd be able to keep that promise.

*******

There it is.  I hope you liked it.  You all know where my email address is.  
Drop me a line.  I'd just like to give a quick thanks to Usako3000, my buddy, 
and Moon-Star, who had enough patience to try to write with me.  Send me a 
line sometime you guys.  Everybody should read their stories.  They are 
simply fabulous.  

Enjoy!
Rain Ayo ( rain_ayo@hotmail.com )
http://members.tripod.com/~Rain_Ayo/