Well, I must say thank you for everything which you pointed out...
I'll be acting on those comments shortly...anyhow, you did ask a
few things...

On Tue, 15 Dec 1998, Shachihoko wrote:

Okay, I recognize the description of Wan Fu, the giant with the pillar.
The other two ... <shrugs> I don't recall them, unfortunately.

The fish thing comes from Samurai Spirits: Bushidoretsuden for the
NeoGeo CD, PSX, and Saturn...the other thing, I just made that one up.
^_^

I'm pretty sure that Mamahaha is supposed to be a she - but it's never
established in the games, so far as I know ... besides, my understanding
is that among falcons, the females are larger - and Mamahaha is one damn
large bird, and strong enough to lift a person to boot.

Hrm...i always thought it was the male...okay...

Okay. My knowledge of Japanese internal history is *NOT* what it should
be, not by a long shot - but I do remember that, like most aboriginal
people, the Ainu were treated pretty badly by the later-arriving Japanese.

Let me just clarify a few things about Ainu history...there were
three rebellions between 1400 and 1800...around the 1460...around
the 1670s, and this one which this story (and the game) are in the
same time period, a rebellion ending in 1789.  The specific battle
names I really should know, but that info is at home.  ^_^;;;

"I am not honorable" - HUH? This does *not* go very well with what I
remember about Yagyu Jubei. My memory *could* be wrong, but I don't think
I'm *that* far off ...

Well, it's the whole Ainu vs. Japanese thing...he's first and foremost
a servant to Japan.  I'm putting this whole thing in a light sort of
akin to US Manifest Destiny to the extreme.

   Jubei looked upon his creation and deemed it successful and he
walked away from the blazes.  The moon shone full and he blinked once,
twice as the light entered his eyes.  No more beauty, and thoughts of
beauty, and lazy dreams and bears, and peace and war.  Just the sun
and moon and birds of the sky to bear witness.  Only loss and knowing
loss and giving loss.  Plates of nothingness he would bear to his
liege!  Plates of nothingness!  Imagine!

I still have trouble thinking of Jubei as that destructive ...

Well...you're going to see a lot of that.  :)

   In the morning they would go north and not south and backward and
not forward and Shizumaru would see a room.  And Rimururu would see
a room.  And Nakoruru would have no room, no place to lay herself, for
she was she and Ainu and everything except Japanese and Shizumaru.
She would talk to Mamahaha and hear voices and she would ask why she
wasn't home and she would answer and he would answer.  And answers
were never quite so sufficient as to fulfill, only to whet.

This is one of the places where stream of consciousness doesn't work quite
as well, in my opinion - at least, I'd use straight narrative if *I* were
writing it. However, it does bring out something ... it makes it feel more
personal, for whoever is speaking among the group.

I had quite a few problems writing this paragraph and I'm STILL not
happy with how it turned out after a dozen or so drafts.
 

You have to know that Nakoruru (and Rimururu) are Ainu - which you did
mention - to realize what the connection is between this scene and the
previous one: that they're burying the dead from Jubei's raid (which
*still*, pardon my repeating it, seems out of character for him somehow.)

Heh.  ^_^;;

This is where Mt. Fuji comes in for the first time ... okay ...
I get the impression that Genjuro is possibly somewhat deranged (as though
Nako's description didn't get that point across? :)

I wouldn't say deranged...obsessed, yes...but not outright crazy. ^^;;

   She was aged seventeen years, her sister two more, Shizumaru one
less.  She never did feel comfortable about being with a boy younger
than she.

I don't believe any of their ages have been established in the existing
"source" material (primarily the games); this is a pretty good set of
estimates. I'd also say that this probably takes place some time after the
games that I've seen ... all four of the 2D games (I haven't seen either
of the 64-bit 3D games yet), but that's just an off guess.

Well, there is official info on dates...check out my Nakoruru
and Rimururu homepage!!!  http://gonzaga.org/~diamante/nakoruru
for that...this takes place some time after the games take place.

	This paragraph was also the first clear suggestion that Rimururu
and Shizumaru might be lovers - but it's still subject to some
interpretation ... and again, this doesn't quite gel with my standing
"image" of the characters, although Rimururu-Shizumaru is probably a
pretty good match.

I address this on the page...this relationship has been established
in at least two doujinshi and I've always thought it made sense.  Besides,
it really helps for my plot.  ^^

It's probably a factor of the stream-of-consciousness technique, but she
"choked on saliva" twice ... *might* want to look into that.

At first I wanted it...now I'm not so sure.  I do a few such repititions
in my first chapter and now I'm not sure if they're REALLY needed.
Perhaps it's just because I've been reading these passages over so many
times...

   "Fuji is dead," Shizumaru said.  There was no thought, him, only
fact and fact was Fuji's death.  "I gave her."

- Whoops ... now it appears that the Fuji in question isn't just the
mountain. o.o Somehow I missed that before.

Oh, it's the mountain alright.  Just that for the Ainu, they have deities
for everything.  Mt. Fuji is a REALLY big symbol throughout this thing.
hint: Fuji is not a Japanese word.

Also, as a side note ... what sources are you using for this? I'm curious
for my own sake, as well - I have both Nakoruru and Rimururu as MUCKing
characters (different sites), and I'd like to brush up on my info about
them.

Oh...the official SNK bios on each of them...after that, just me.  The
characters are so wondrously vague that I can form them any which way
I want.  Well...almost.  They should remain true to the video game
personas...I had hell from at least one person about that with an
earlier draft.  Oh well...

				Tim Miller
					trmiller@bcpl.net

Thank you thank you thank you!  It's nice to know at least one
person here is interested in this.  ^_^;;

Sklathill