(Mike's already been sent these comments; I'm posting them to the list
in order to see whether my posting problem's solved.)

Some very good descriptive work in the first part of this.

I'm happy to (finally) see the reactions of the duplicate Ranmas, and
that they're not just happily going along with what's happening. I think
they could be stronger, but it's good just to see it.

As I understand it, "Taitai" is used in Taiwan, where they also use
"Xiansheng" for husband. In the PRC, "airen" means both wife and
husband, so Shamps would probably want Ranma to call her that.

Overall, this was pretty good. I'd like to see a greater emphasis on the
feelings of the characters as opposed to just the events of the story.
It's been steadily improving in this regard, but I still think you could
do better.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics