On Thu, 3 Dec 1998, Kevin D. Hammel wrote:

Nodoka went to the phone, probably some new investment that would change 
her life forever. It was.

"Hello"

Hello.
 

"Will you accept a collect call from a Saotome Ranma?"

Her son was calling? "Yes, of course!"

Click, Beep

Beep.

 

She heard a boy's voice "Hello?"

"Hello, Ranma is that you?"

Hello, Ranma, is  

"Mom? Pop never talked about you much, I'm glad your not dead!"

glad you're not dead!

***

Ranma 1/2 Honor and Love
(Yet Another) Ranma/Sailor Moon Crossover 

Well, I'm working on another one myself :)

Nice opening scene; definitely grabs the reader right off, which is
important, especially for your first story when no one knows who you are.

"Well, I ain't too sure, this crazy scheme of yours is nuts if you ask 
me."

"Well, you let your father train you for more than 10 years, please just 
give me a chance." The mother asked her child, her eyes pleading more 
eloquently than her words.

I tend to agree with Ranma, but at the same time, I can see the logic of
it.  And Nodoka is crazy enough to do this. (The manga Nodoka is as much
of a nutjob as her husband...:))

 
"Let me finish, dear! If you find a girl you like, maybe you can be a 
boy for her, away from school, so you can learn about that part of life 
too." Nodoka wondered what kind of girl would go along with this... A 

Not too many :)

girl who *truly* loved Ranma would. He *was* part girl after all, she 

The problem, though, is that the girl has to get to that point of loving
him, which isn't going to be too likely if she thinks Ranma is a girl.
But Nodoka is thinking on her feet here and I have the luxury to think
about it :)

"So, Ranma how was school?" Nodoka asked.

So, Ranma, how

Ranma's dreams were interrupted by the appearance of a beautiful young 
woman, dressed in some sort of ancient garment, perhaps it was a toga. 
He had never seen her, so he had to ask... "Who are you?"

"Io, my chosen avatar."

The way she answers this is a little confusing.  It sounds at first like
she is referring to herself as her chosen avatar.

"Maybe that's part of the problem, part of what your mom wants you to 
understand. You *really* need to talk to her after our chat... Please 
consider serving as my Senshi, Ranma, The world needs you. Or are you 
going to finally admit there's a fight which only *girls* can win?"

Io fights dirty :)

 

easier for me to live as a girl all the time, you know. There ain't much 
hot water out in the world, but there's *lots* a cold. That's why my mom 
is training me as a girl, but my pop raised me t' be a *man*, 'an if I 
become a girl, what'll be left a him but some ashes in a box? I know he 
was a little rough sometimes, but he was proud of his *son*. Did you 

I feel for him here.  

"But what? You have a curse which you have to live with, Kikuko, *but* 
because cold water is more common than hot, you won't have to deal with 
it *nearly* as often as Ranma does. If you change, just tell the girls 
the truth, that you are cursed to become a boy when hit with hot 
water... It's completely true, you know."

"But they'll think I'm a freak..."

"Maybe *some* will, but the rest won't. Makoto doesn't, and she knows 
the *whole* story."

I think Nodoka is really taking this too easily, although she's not the
one directly affected.  Although perhaps she's just too much of an
optimist.

It was just after seven when the girls finally broke. "Why don't you get 
cleaned up Makoto, I'll be along in a bit."

up, Makoto, I'll
 

"Thanks" Makoto hurried in and was quickly cleaned and dressed in her 

"Thanks."

When she finally got to school, Kikuko noticed the boys stayed away from 
her, which she realized was *very* healthy for them. Quite a few *did* 
give her the once-over however, and talk amongst themselves. She used 
her control to keep from putting on a show like yesterday's. <I'm glad 

her self-control

***

With the return of the wayward martial artists, and the cats gone for 
now, the Humans introduced themselves. Kikuko recognized two of them: 

humans

"I'm proud of you, Kiku-chan." Makoto whispered to her friend.

"Thanks, Mako-chan" Kikuko whispered back. She easily found reassurance 
in her friend's eyes.

Mako-chan."
 

"Huh?" Io thought back to the dream, turning away from friends old and 
new... "Tempest Flare!" Io shouted clasping her two hands together, a 
river of flames whipped by cyclonic winds, flowed from her outstretched 
arms.

I hope she didn't trash anything :)

Io transformed back to Ranma, then used to cold water to become Kikuko 
again. The other two Senshi also adopted their mundane forms.

So she goes back to whatever form she was in when she henshins?
 

"Kikuko!" Makoto hissed. "Don't forget to talk a little more ladylike! 
Try to talk like a *girl* not like a *guy*!"

As if Makoto could talk :)

 

"That's *way* too early for me" Usagi replied.

me,"

 

"Oh, Ranma! What am I doing to you?" She hugged her daughter then let 
her go. Things seemed to be going *better* than she'd planned, too well, 
perhaps? Had she pushed too hard, too fast? "Please try to talk nicely 
when you're a boy *and* a girl, OK?"

Yes :)
 

"The problem is it's *more* than what I wanted. I wanted a son who was 
happy as a girl, *not* a girl who hates being a boy..."

Now she catches on :)

 

Kikuko turned red, then looked upset. "I *don't* want to become like 
those boys at school, mom. When I'm around her as a boy, I think I'm 
beginning to understand how they feel, to feel like them."

"So, is *that* why you want to stay like this?"

"Well, isn't that a good reason?"

Iya.

"Thanks, Mako-chan! Could you come to dinner at our house for the rest 
of the week? Perhaps, together, we can help Ranma realize why he isn't 
like the boys at school."

"Yes, I would like that Mrs. Saotome."

that, Mrs. Saotome."

As Nodoka approached the living room, she noticed Kikuko was busy at the 
table, probably doing her homework. She looked up, giving her mom a big 
smile. "Welcome home, mom! I'm almost finished with my homework."

Now there's a personality change for you :)

At 6, Kikuko was glad to see Makoto and her new student. While Makoto 

Splashed herself before the workout?  (She slept as Ranma)

was wearing her old P.E. uniform like yesterday, Ami had obviously gone 
out and purchased a fine quality gi. "Good morning Makoto. Welcome to 
our little training group, Ami. I hope you took the tag off your gi." 

tag?

As they approached the two older girls, Ami spoke. "Saotome Kikuko," who 
bowed, "I'd like you to meet Ten'oh Haruka," The blonde girl bowed, " 
and Kaioh Michiru." The woman bowed. "Kikuko's a martial artist. She's 
training Makoto and myself."

"So, Kikuko, how long have you been studying the Art?" Haruka asked.

"I've been 'studyin martial arts for as long as I could walk, and it's 

studying

been my LIFE for the past ten years. I'd like to help Makoto, Ami, and 
their... friends learn more about the Art."

"Watch you language, Kikuko!" Ami whispered.

your language

What was wrong with her grammar?
Or is Ami referring to something else?

"Ten'oh Haruka, this is Kikuko's mother."

"Pleased to meet you." The blonde haired girl said with a smile.

Haruka's Jade haired companion spoke next. "I'm Kaioh Michiru, Mrs. 
Saotome."

jade haired

"So, Hotaru, how old are you?"

"I'm, 9, I think, How old are you?"

I think Hotaru when not a baby, is supposed to be 12.

Actually, now that I think about it, what Season of SM is this?

"*Wow*!" Hotaru was clearly impressed by the admission. "Well I had a 
dream that six Senshi would be called, one for each of Jupiter's large 
moons, one for Neptune's largest... *and* and one for Saturn's largest"

two ands here.

Kikuko thought of speaking with her mouth full, but decided politeness 
was a virtue that might be appreciated. After a few moments, she 
responded. "Well, first off, what planets are you two Senshi of?"

"Neptune" Michiru answered with pride. "I had a dream much like Hotaru 

"Neptune."

and Makoto's. It seems there will be a Senshi of Triton, as well."

"Uranus" Haruka replied, then looked a *tiny bit dejected. "I guess 
Titania is too small..."

"Uranus."

"Well, strength really doesn't matter. I'm sure I can come up with SOME 
kind of training to make you stronger, or at least teach you to dodge 
attacks."

"Maybe sometime Ranma, but not right now." Her eyes lit up. "Perhaps my 

sometime, Ranma, 

Reality reigned in Kikuko's speculation on her good fortune, her 
expression darkening. Mother and daughter embraced, the two women cried 
themselves out.

reined in

"Yes, you do. How has school been for you?"

"Well, its been tough, but it's also like I've been given a fresh start, 

it's been

Things were fairly uneventful the rest of the week, which proved a 
blessing for Ranma. Finally school was out on Saturday. Since his mom 

Finally, school

"Well, I figure we can treat it like a normal school day, meeting for 
training, then getting ready. We can take the train over to Nerima, my 
mom left me directions. I guess I'd better call Rei and invite her over 
here, or cancel out session at the temple." Ranma said in a distracted 

cancel our

1. I suppose Genma doesn't *need* to die... He could have just run off 
at Jusenkyou, 'knowing' his life (and his new "daughter's") was forfeit. 
Would that be a better way to approach the story? He could come back 
later, and I *hate* killing off major characters...

Leave him dead.  I think it's more interesting that way.  If he has to
live, let the villains of the story get ahold of him and use him as a
pawn :)

2. I'm sure many people are upset by my characterization of Ranma in 
this story. Constructive suggestions on how to improve same *without* 
ruining the story heartily accepted! 

I think Ranma's characterization is fairly good, the one problem is that I
think she caves in to going to school as a girl too easily, and I think
you might want to stretch the timeframe a bit; he/she seems to go through
psychological changes a little too fast.


 > 3. Would Nodoka do what she does in this story? Well, in the
first 

version (sent to a pre-reader September 3, 1998) the whole 'Kikuko' 
thing didn't even exist, but I (or is we?) got to thinking, which led to 
re-writing.

Nodoka in the manga becomes more and more whacko as it progresses. I can
see her doing this.  And you addressed my major concern with it later in
the story when she realized the drawbacks of her approach.

4. I'm not sure where to fit this on the Sailor Moon timeline. My pre-
readers asked about where it fits, but I'm still debating...

Depends on if you invent your own villains or use standard ones.  If
Hotaru is not a baby, this has to be either during Stars or after Stars.
Or else changing the events of SS.

If the Senshi are 16, it's definitely Stars.

5. I'm not sure of the relative ages of inner vs. outer Senshi. Phoenix 
has the 'outers' two grades ahead of the 'inners'. (In Astronomy, 
Jupiter is a textbook outer planet I won't argue *that* point here!)

The Outers are 1 year older.  See Hitoshi Doi's pages.

Phoenix?

Hope this helps!


John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu       
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/

If it has passed from the high and the beautiful to darkness and ruin, that
was of old the fate of Arda Marred; and if any change shall come and the
Marring be amended, Manwe and Varda may know; but they have not revealed it,
and it is not declared in the dooms of Mandos.
--Final Line of The Silmarillion