An Excerpt from the Tale of MacGenma

[Three witches sit in a grove, in front of a bubbling cauldron.]

Kasumi Witch:	Thrice the Amazon hath mew'd

Nabiki Witch:	Thrice and once P-chan has bweeed

Akane Witch:	The Panda signs [Tis time, tis time!]

Kasumi:		Round about the cauldron go;
		In the poison'd ...

Akane:		Strawberries go!

Nabiki:		Nani?!

Akane(picking :	Frosting that doth weigh a stone
up tempo)	Icing that maketh men with envy, moan...

Kasumi:		You're supposed to add poisoned frog, Akane.

Akane:		...Eye of potatoe, wi' sour cream
		Sukiyaki out of a dream!
		Plastic fork, and onion ring
		Turkey leg, and chicken wing!
		
Nabiki:		*Adder's* fork, Akane!  Lizard Leg!

Akane:		Descaled fish and miso soup
		Fresh eggs from a chicken's coop!

Kasumi&Nabiki:	Akane!  NO!!!

[Much, much later, surrounded by a enough food for a seventeen course
meal]

Akane:		Waaahhh!  Kasumi-oneechan!  I'll never cast a spell right!
Kasumi:		Just take it slowly, Akane.  Why, you're improving 
		already!  Instead of using a prime rib steak, you used 
		Spam.  One day, you'll remember the bat's guano. 
Nabiki:		Sorry about the delay in the divination, Mr. MacGenma.
		We'll try again.
MacGenma:	Oh, don't worry about me.  *munch*  Take all the time that
		you need.  Oh, pass that strawberry shortcake, please...



Notes:

Well, everyone knows Akane's legendary bad culinary skills.  But, what if
one were deliberately trying to cook with disgusting ingredients?  Would
Akane get it "wrong"?  Remembering the witch scene in Macbeth, I felt the
need to try this (reads: I was up too late at night, too much stress,
etc.)

I'm sure that if I had enough time, I could easily correlate all of the
potion ingredients with Akane's "mistaken" ingredients.  But, I really
don't have the time for it right now.

A stone is a real weight of measure.  I believe it's about 2.5 pounds.

Yes, the Tale of MacGenma.  I've seen a Romeo and Juliet fanfic with Ranma
characters, but not too many other plays get parodied.  It had to be done.


-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble.  A few more shots, then 
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode.  Ducking around a corner, 
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of 
my Anime supplier.

One look at his face and I knew that I was betrayed.  "Tell me."
I insisted.  He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance.  Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao." he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the 
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...