Subject: [FFML] [BGC] The Tesla Agenda, Round 3
From: Nabiki Tendo
Date: 12/4/1998, 6:55 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Nabiki Section #3

       Sylia was, to say the least, confused.  She had 
assumed the radio call from Largo was a hallucination.  
Certainly, she would NEVER act like he was her lover.  
But then...he had shown up in the flesh and she had...she 
cringed.  Only the fact that the other Sabres had 
apparently wandered off while she was busy...umm... 
networking with Largo had saved her from total 
humiliation.  She resolved to give herself a full medical 
and psychological examination when they got back to 
Earth.  

        The first problem was to find the other Sabres.  
This proved easier than than anticipated.  Priss walked 
into the trashed communications and torture chamber, 
stretching her arms and yawning.  "Good thing they put 
the bathrooms nearby.  I hate a long walk when I need 
to...geez, what the hell happened?"

       The room was a total disaster zone.  Bits of metal 
were scattered everywhere.  Twisted boomer parts mixed 
with motor oil covered the walls.  Leon and Daley were 
having an argument by the door.  Looking around, Priss 
said, "Did I miss a good fight?"

      "It was impressive,"  Sylia said.  "Did...um...did Linna 
and Nene go to the bathroom also?"

      "Yeah.  Then Nene stopped to hack into the computers 
to find where our ardsuits-hay are.  And Linna ran off to 
get them, while I came back to tell you."

       Sylia nodded.  It had taken her a second to recognize 
Priss had been using pig-latin.  This was another sign 
that she was slipping, she was sure.  "Very good.  As soon 
as we ick-pay our ardsuits-hay, then we can head back to 
Earth."

       "What about the ADPolice twins?"  Priss looked over 
at the squabbling officers.

       "Knock them out.  I'll brainwash them to forget all 
this; no other way to keep our secret without killing 
them, and they're basically decent people, except for 
having very tiny brains."

        Priss nodded and went to work.

*************

        Nadoko Tenbiki checked her email and found an 
unpleasant bit of news.  Genaros Station had blown up, 
and not only that...She immediately hit the intercom 
button.  "Bad news sir."

        "What is it, Nadoko-chan?"  he asked.  His voice was 
firm and assertive.  She could have listened to it all day.

        "Sir, Largo was spotted on Genaros station, and then 
it blew up.  We also have reason to believe that the 
ADPolice were involved and that..."  She blushed as she 
watched the attached .mov file play out on her computer.  
"Umm...You're not going to believe this sir."

        "You'd be amazed what I can believe."

        "I'll send it to you, sir."  She hit the send button and 
shut down the .mov.  It had to be a joke; according to the 
email, this .mov was derived from video footage at a 
communications/torture/teahouse room on Genaros.  It 
looked, however, like a cheap porno starring Largo and 
some woman with short black hair.  She found it 
remarkably erotic, which was rather disturbing, as 
genocidal boomers simply were NOT her type.

         There was silence for a time.  Then Quincy's voice 
came over the intercom.  "First, forward this to our 
Pornography Films department.  I think we have a hit on 
our hands.  Secondly, send this to investigations.  I want 
to know who the woman is and if we can afford to hire 
her for future films.  Thirdly, I'd like you to come into my 
office right now."  His voice took on a huskier tone with 
the last line.

        She ran.

****************

Ukyou's section #3

<  >  still indicates thoughts, in case you forgot.

        Largo sat on Mr. Schaft's desk.  "You WILL do what I 
want, Mr. Schaft, or I will destroy you.  I could simply 
control your mind with some of my nanomachines, as I 
did with my recent romantic conquest, but I haven't quite 
worked out the bugs and I don't want you begging me to 
make love to you.  Nothing personal, of course."

        "And what do you want?"

        "Unlike my previous body, this one does not have 
control of the Orbital Laser Satellite Network.  I wish to 
resume my control of it; therefore, you will build me 
such a device, which I will use to destroy GENOM.  Is that 
not what you want?"  His voice turned soothing.  "We can 
be allies; I do not kill unless I must."

        "If I knew how to build something like that, GENOM 
tower would be a pile of ash.  I don't have the military 
control codes.  Get those, and we can deal."  Mr. Schaft 
was sweating.  He'd heard stories about Largo.

        "Very well.  I will bring them to you.  Have the 
device ready for me when I return."  Largo leaped out the 
window, shattering it.  Mr. Schaft heard him shouting 
'Aiya!' all the way down fifty stories to the ground.  

        Schaft frowned.  Should I help him?  But he wants to 
destroy humanity...wait, ahh, that's it!  He could feel a 
plan surfacing in his mind, one that would destroy both 
Largo AND GENOM.  Perfect.

**********

       Leon's head felt fuzzy, as if someone had scrubbed it 
with a steel wool brush.  There were faint memories of 
going to a space station, but he wasn't sure how he had 
gotten there, or what had actually happened, other than 
being quite sure he had drunk tea.  Maybe.

        Daley was off on a date with somebody named 
Basatsu Naikure.  The freak had popped out of Daley's 
desk and asked him out, and Daley actually said yes.  At 
first, Leon had assumed that his partner had been fooled 
by the guy being disguised as a girl, but then he 
remembered his partner was gay.  He wasn't stupid, 
though, so Leon didn't think it would work out, but who 
knows?

        As for himself, Leon was malingering around Hot 
Legs, waiting for Priss to finish her set so he could ask 
her out on a date.  To his surprise, she came up to him 
afterwards and said, "You wanna go get something to eat 
with me once I change into something better than my 
stage outfit?"

         His eyes widened.  Was she serious, or did she just 
want free food?  Well, he'd take his chances.  "Sure 
thing."

        She soon emerged with her long hair down in its 
usual style, dressed in a purple wraparound and black 
tights with black slippers and a motorcycle helmet, 
tucked under one arm.  "Let's go, Leon.  Where do you 
wanna eat?"

        He thought a minute.  "Well, I stopped eating Chinese 
after my entire family got food poisoning and died from 
eating at a Chinese ramen shop, the Nihaohanten, so 
that's out."

        She nodded.  "Most of them are controlled by corrupt 
Chinese Triathalons who try to mind control you with 
their food, anyway.  We should get some good Japanese 
style food."

        He offered her an arm.  To his surprise, she took it.  
He said, "Let's get some okonomiyaki, then.  I know a good 
place.  It's having to rebuild after being destroyed by 
some sort of Chinese terrorist attack.  They even 
kidnapped the owners and replaced them with evil 
boomer duplicates the Knight Sabres had to destroy."

        "There's a lot of that going around lately."  They set 
out on their way.

**************

Shampoo Section #3

[Shampoo wants to thank Nabiki for helping her pick songs for the song
battle scene.  Shampoo not know much about non-Amazon music and wanted
people to understand the scene, so she not use songs like 'The Skull
Cracking Anthem' and 'Iya!  Where is Dowel's Ramen?']

     Priss and Leon raced through the streets of the city.  Leon simply
couldn't believe that Priss could keep up with him when he was in a car
and all she had was a bicycle, but it happened anyway.  In fact, she
could have easily left him in her dust, but that wasn't what she wanted.
It was time to date with Leon, not run away from him.

     As Priss pedaled at high speed, she thought about how she and Leon
had first started dating.

                   *         *        *

<Cue Love Train>

      Priss had saved her money for many weeks and carefully practiced her
singing in order to afford to enter the great tournament of singers known
as 'Star Search'.  Her great-grandmother had pushed her hard to excel, and
finally, she had decided she was ready.  

     After hours of singing and many competitive matches, she had finally
defeated Milli Vanilli in the final round and was about to claim her prize
when to her horror, she saw...

     A stupid looking ADPolice officer was EATING her prize!  Well, part
of it.  Among her prizes was a lifetime supply of Uncle Mao's Rice-a-roni,
the Shanghai treat and ten tons of Ramen (Along with 12 million yen and
a recording contract and some new bonbori for her collection).  The man
was a bottomless vortex, along with his partner, who was also pigging out.

     "Aiya!  Whyfor you eat Priss's Prize?"  Priss demanded of the man.

     "Leon is working security on his time off,"  the man said.  "Isn't
this the staff snack table?"

     "Is Priss' PRIZE!  Now you must battle Priss in a song duel or Priss
will be VERY angry!"

     He stood up.  "Leon knows no fear.  He will battle with you!  Leon is
King of Karaoke!"

     It was a viscous battle, with no songs barred.  When Leon sung
'Copacabana', Priss only kept her sanity by plugging her ears and
fantasizing about ramen.  When Priss replied with 'It's My Party and I'll
Cry if I want to', Leon fell to his knees and struggled to avoid becoming
physically ill.  His counter stroke, singing ALL of the songs the Beach
Boys ever recorded, sent Priss reeling.  By the time he reached their
second album, her voice was faltering as she tried to counter his songs
with the entire body of works of the Butthole Surfers, but it only made
him stronger.

     Finally, she collapsed with the words to 'Good Vibrations' echoing in
her ears.  Unconsciousness took her, saving her from permanent brain
damage.  

     When she woke up, she felt humiliated, until she realized that
now...she could finally get married!  Any man who could actually survive
singing multiple albums worth of Beach Boys songs without his brain
turning to mush was worthy of her.  An Asagiri could only marry a man who
could sing better than her and survive the truly dangerous songs that were
the core of Asagiri combat singing.  

      Priss hopped nimbly off the stretcher and set out to find her future
husband.


                   *         *        *

      Back in the present, Priss and Leon arrived at a nice restaurant,
Canton Fried Chicken, pausing to admire the statue of Mao in a Red Army
Uniform that stands in front of each one.  Inside, the helpful staff soon
got each of them lots of fried chicken and biscuits and big glasses of
Pepsi.  

      As they tried to enjoy their meal, Priss noticed the other Sabres
sitting in another booth, whispering to each other and spying on her.
They all wanted her airen for themselves, the jealous women!  Sometimes it
made Priss mad, but she knew that the Sabres fought in a just cause, and
that she had to put up with their jealousy.  If only they would find men
of their own, but then, they were all ugly and violent, so this wasn't too
likely.  Even Daley wouldn't date them.  

      Nobly, Priss ignored their whisperings, looking to the doorway.  It
was fortunate that she did so, because a group of terrorists clad in the
disguise of a school girl's uniform, with a blue skirt and top over a
white
blouse, were creeping in the door.  There were six of them lead by a
girl with ugly short black hair.  Just looking at her, Priss could tell
she was a violent tomboy.  They all carried large mallets and F-16
machineguns.  

      Priss poked Leon.  "Iya, Priss sees trouble."

      Leon was brave, but not as smart as Priss.  He stood up, drawing his
huge pistol, and leveled it at the terrorists.  "Halt!  Leon is putting
you under arrest!"

      They turned and the black haired tomboy laughed.  "Iya!  The forces
of TENDO fear not your wimpy gun!  TENDO will...choke you to death with
our
cooking!"

      Priss would have saved Leon, but the smell of the food they whipped
out made her lose her dinner.  While she was trying to get back up, they
stuffed a lot of icky food like okonomiyaki, teriyaki, sukiyaki, and
poorly made beefbowl down Leon's throat.  He began to choke, slain by the
ugly tomboys' cooking.

     Priss grabbed Leon's gun and held it to the head of one of the
tomboys.  "Iya!  Surrender or the ugly one gets it!"

     They grinned.  "Your wimpy guns cannot hurt us!  We are not tomboys,
we are DEVO!"  They paused.  "We mean, we are BOOMERS!"

     Priss watched in horror as they burst out of their uniforms, becoming
huge, ugly, blue, tomboy boomers.  Aiya, she thought.  



Kuno's Section #3

    Priss and Leon didst then proceed to skillfully destroy 
the foul miscreants who had dared to disguise themselves in 
the beautiful forms of demure, healthy schoolgirls. It was a 
most savage and fierce battle, but they did prevail.

    Meanwhile, in a penthouse on the other side of Megatokyo, 
the foul and villainous Waiter had stripped Nene and Sylia to 
the waist, and did beset them with all manner of odious 
devices of torture and question.

    "You shall talk, my proud beauty!" he sneered, his greasy 
pigtail flapping as his lustful gaze did roam over the dainty, 
bared thigh of the red-haired goddess.

    "Never!" Nene cried, bosom heaving most defiantly. 
"Never, never, never! Mackie shall save us!"

    The Waiter laughed cruelly. Most cruel was his laughter. 
Verily, twas it cruel.

    "A delusional fool," quoth he, "And of no import. Now... I 
shall have you, willing or no! Yield yourself to me, body and 
soul!"

    "Curse you!" Sylia wailed in maidenly dismay, her shapely 
legs wriggling in dismay against the silken cords that bound 
her. "You can have our bodies, foul low-born knave, but never 
our hearts!"

    "As we lower-class scum do say, one out of two is not 
bad," the fiend smirked, unbuckling his trousers.

    Nene gasped at the sight so uncouthly revealed.

    "How tiny," she faintly muttered.

    "HOLD, VILE ENSLAVER OF WOMEN!" came a thundering 
voice.

    "Curses!" swore the Waiter, frantically pulling up his 
boxers. "Tis..."

    "The noble Mackie!" both women sighed lustily.

    "HAVE AT THEE!"

    Thus did a most savage battle commence! Mackie fought 
with his noted blade, the same fabled sword which had made 
him the wonder of the Junior Kendo world. The vile Waiter, 
though seemingly unarmed, used cunningly fashioned devices to 
throw blasts of energy and whirlwinds from deceptively open 
hands! The two didst duel back and forth across the chamber, 
as Nene and Sylia did gaze with anxious eyes of the prowess of 
their beloved champion.

    "Oh, do be careful!" Nene called.

    "Prevail, sweet Mackie!" Sylia demurely called, her eyes 
batting.

    "I SHALL PREVAIL!" cried Mackie, and with one sweep of 
his blade sent the foul Waiter crashing through a window. The 
fiend did bounce, twenty-three stories later.

    "I have dispatched the demon," Mackie told them 
modestly, sheathing his fabled blade.

    "Indeed you have," Sylia purred throatily. "Now let us 
reward you!"

    Nene's eyes widened as the hakama fell to the floor. "Big. 
Biiiiiiiig."

    Soon the air was filled with maidenly cries of pleasure 
as brave Mackie did bury himself to the root in Sylia, and did 
lie with her as a man will with a woman. And such a woman! 
Oh, the healthful sheen upon her pert breasts as he thrust, the 
full lips from which those soft gasps of pleasure arose! The 
red-haired goddess did impatiently await her turn, knowing 
that Mackie would be able to perform just as well when he was 
finished with the somewhat tomboyish Sylia.



Akane's Section 3

    We will immediately switch our scene from the 
DISGUSTING happenings in that penthouse, and rest secure in 
the knowledge that Mackie is going to DIE HORRIBLY.

    Priss and Leon were continuing their date. Having decided 
that neither Chinese food nor okonomiyaki sounded very good, 
they had returned to Priss's home.

    "I'm sorry," Priss said sadly. "I'm not a very good cook 
sometimes."

    "Oh, that's okay! I understand!" Leon said cheerfully. "It's 
okay, actually. You'd get better with practice, I know you will."

    "Thank you, Leon," Priss said, gratified. "Do you like my 
hair?"

    He nodded. "Those boomers may have been tough, but they 
had a great hairstyle. Looks nice on you." He pauses, absently 
brushing his pigtail away from his shoulder. She loved to 
watch him do that, although she'd never admit it. "Thanks for 
watching my back in that fight. You helped a lot."

    "Well, someone needed to help you out, baka," she said 
teasingly, sticking her tongue out at him.

    He looked guilty. "Oh Priss, I'm sorry I've treated you so 
badly. All those other women at the restaurants, the other 
Knight Sabers... I should have been stronger and not lured them 
to me."

    She frowned. "That's right."

    "And I'm sorry I insulted you all the time."

    "And...?"

    "And I think you're kawaii."

    Slowly, gently, he embraced her. They softly kissed, and 
then Leon moved to put a slow waltz on the stereo.

    As the moonlight streamed through the windows, they 
danced. She got to lead.

    "I love you, Leon," she whispered.

    "And I love you, Priss."

    He offered her a single red rose as the music ceased.


Ranma's Segment #3
------------------

Leon blinked, looking into Priss's eyes. "Wha... what happened?"

Priss looked back, then stammered, "i... I don't know." She looked around.
"Maybe it was the moonlight." She gulped awkwardly, then smiled. "Still...
it was nice."

Leon nodded. "Yeah... nice -- OW!" He stumbled back. "Hey, why'd you step
on my foot?"

"ME?!?" Priss shouted in return. "*You* were the one who shoved your foot
in
the way!"

"I didn't do nothin' like that!" Leon roared back. "Only a clumsy tomboy
like you would do somethin' like that and try to blame it on me!"

Priss gasped. "Why, you... you... BAKA!" She slapped Leon, then turned
away from him and started crying. 

Damnit, Leon thought. Why don't they come with instruction manuals? 

Just then, a squad of boomers broke into the apartment, and Leon sighed in
relief. Something he could deal with easily.

Priss swung around to look at the boomers. "YOU! *YOU* broke up our date!"
she snarled. "I'm gonna beat you black and blue!"

"Hey... Priss, they're already blue?"

She swung around to look at him. "YOU shut *up*!" She reached behind her
to pull out an electric guitar, then swung back to face the boomers.
"You're gonna *eat* this song!" she screeched, smashing the guitar against
the lead boomer. But she didn't watch her follow-through, and ended up
sliding feet-first against the boomer's legs.

"I didn't know you were *that* kind of singer," Leon said, blinking.
Stupid baka... why couldn't she learn how to fight right?

The lead boomer seemed unimpressed. "Target confirmed," it growled. "Units
4 and 16, remove target. Other units, terminate resistance."

"Wha -- HEY!" Priss yelped, as she was yanked upright by two of the
boomers. "What do you think you're doing?" She struggled to break free,
but couldn't make it; the two boomers started dragging her off.

"Leave her ALONE!" Leon roared, slamming into the lead boomer and knocking
it over. A sweeping side-kick took its head off, but two more slammed into
him from either side, while a third punched him in the stomach. "Fight
*fair*, DAMN YOU!" 

Priss looked back at him as she was pulled out the hole in the wall.
"Leon!" She grabbed at the edge of the hole as the boomers ran out.
"Leon... SAVE ME!" Then she lost her grip and was dragged away.

"NO!" Leon shouted, kicking the third boomer away, then taking off the
heads of the ones beside him with twin hand-strikes. "Bring her back!" A
quick bunch of strikes took care of the remaining boomers -- but by the
time he got to the hole, Priss was gone.



[Ohohohohohoho! Nabiki-san, your 'incentives' for following your
'suggestions' for the storyline were entertaining, but you are sadly
mistaken if you think mere blackmail can dissuade the heir of a noble
house!]

Kodachi's Segment #3
--------------------

But we mustn't get so distracted by the trivial problems of a lower-class
tramp that we forget the plight of a true noble soul, yes? 

When last we left her, poor Sylia had been bewitched, her innocent joy in
her body twisted by that despicable lecher she was forced to call
'brother,' perverted into an unholy lust that drove her against her will.
Though her body did writhe and moan in false pleasure, manipulated by a
voyeuristic puppet-master, inside she screamed in agony at the cruel fate
the furies had meted out to her.

And then, salvation came in the form of a mighty hand that crashed through
the door, breaking the evil spell she was held under. "HOLD! Who dares
profane the lovely body of my Sylia-sama?"

"Largo-sama!" Sylia gasped, eyes glistening in true joy as her beloved
strode into the room. "You came for me!"

"I came for you, Sylia-sama," Largo agreed, smiling comfortingly. With a
sweep of his arm, he effortlessly tore her brother away from his loathsome
grope, sending him flying into the wall. "I will always come for you."

Sylia shuddered in relief as her sibling's polluting presense was removed.
"My thanks to you, oh my Largo-sama, for removing such a foul threat."

"This?" Largo gestured at the body lying near the wall. "'Tis but an
insect. Simply squash it, and it is gone." He raised a foot, and brought
it firmly down on her brother's skull; with a pop and a glorious squishing
sound, this stain on her soul departed the mortal plane.

"Largo-sama..." she sighed, turning eyes overflowing with gratitude to her
savior. She looked down at her bare breasts, and blushed, then tossed a
rose pure as night into the face of her companion (for, indeed, even the
meanest and ugliest of peasants may sometimes prove a comfort in times of
trial), granting her a well-deserved rest. "Largo-sama -- would you, could
you, bear to sample this sullied dish?"

Tenderly, Largo cupped her cheek in his hand. "At some other time -- no,
at any other time -- such a pleasure would be my dearest wish." He sighed.
"But now, there is something more important to speak of -- something that
will change your life, and indeed the life of everyone on Earth."

"More important?" Sylia looked up at Largo with wide eyes. "Do go on."

"You are familiar with the various cyber-implants that were available for
humans a few years ago, yes?"

She nodded. "Yes. They were withdrawn from the market after some foolish
people started going crazy." She pouted. "Such a minor price to pay for
the power they gave; I was considering some myself, before they vanished."

Largo arched a knowing eyebrow. "And you did not consider acquiring them
through more pragmatic means?"

"Um... well..." Sylia blushed. "I didn't want to trust any of of the
underground sources I found."

"Ah." With exquisite politeness, Largo did not explore the issue further.
"Fortunately, that is no longer necessary. Ever since the unfortunate
withdrawal of those imperfect efforts, Genom has been working to perfect
them. Indeed, it was vague rumors of that project that led that woman, who
your associate so sadly resembles, to begin the Tesla Project as a
counter."

"*She* is opposing this research? Then, truly, it is indeed a matter of
much importance."

"Yes. Earlier today, I received word from my researchers -- the final
problems have been solved! We can begin using them immediately."

Heart in her eyes, Sylia started up at him. "You mean... we can finally
get replacement limbs again? I can finally leave these slow, plodding legs
behind, and gain the limbs of metal I have so long craved?"

"That is only the beginning, dear one. Using the new technology, it is
possible to gain full bodily replacement! In stages, all of a person's
organic parts can be replaced, leaving them fully cybernetic; the trials
of the flesh can be left behind, forever!"

"Forever..." Sylia trailed off, her eyes staring into the delights of an
infinite future.

"Yes." Largo smiled. "The lengthy slaughter, the unfortunate messiness we
needed to precede our inevitable rule over all true forms of life, shall
no longer be necessary! In just a few stages, we can eliminate the plague
of organic entities infesting the Earth, leaving it filled with the clean,
vital forms of cybernetic life awaiting our rule!"

Sylia lay silent for a moment, awestruck by the grandeur of Largo's
vision. Then she gasped, as a potential flaw struck her. "But... but,
Largo-sama, how will we find the surgeries to accomplish this conversion?
For truly, there are millions upon millions of poor, baser souls that will
need conversion."

"Ah, but that is the other advantage of this process," Largo replied. "The
fruits of the project are a cybernetic system that is self-replicating;
indeed, once the initial procedure is begun, our system is capable of full
conversion without further intervention." 

"Oh!" She clapped her hands in joy. "Truly, the age of wonders is upon
us!"

"Yes," was his simple reply. "There is still a small amount of uncertanty,
because, unfortunately... our test subjects were a little -- used. Earlier
trials, while promising, could not be completely removed from the
subjects' systems. There should be no problems, however."

"I know!" Sylia's eyes shone with delight. "My compatriots -- they can be
the first to share in the bounty of the new process, and we can observe
them to ensure the project's success!"

"I see with joy that we still think alike," Largo purred. "I anticipated
your thought; even now, members of my elite boomer corps are bringing your
two remaining comrades here, to share our bounty."

Sylia stood, careless of her nudity, eyes wide in stunned delight.




[OH MY!  Nabiki assured me there weren't going to be any 
naked people in this story.  I wish I'd gotten my part in 
faster so I...oh my.  I'm going to lie down for a while.

I'm back.  I...ummm...I don't think I know how 
to...uh...follow that scene, so I'm going to go write 
about...ummm...Linna.  Yeah, that's a good idea.  No one 
ever writes about Linna for some reason.]

Kasumi Section #3
[Guaranteed to have NO naked people]

       Linna sat down to have a nice glass of fruit punch.  
She had spent the evening cleaning up her apartment.  It 
had been more work than fighting boomers.  All of the 
Sabres would come over and have these wild brawls and 
spill their drinks and track dirt in the kitchen and leave 
mud on the carpet.   By the time she fixed all the damage, 
they'd destroy her apartment again.  But she was too kind 
to kick them all out to grovel in the street like they 
sometimes deserved.  It was like being their benevolent 
big sister.

        Taking the remote control, she turned on the TV, 
only to realize that it had a fine patina of dust on the 
screen.  With lightning speed, she did a backflip out of 
the chair and over to her cleaning cabinet.  Finely honed 
reflexes grabbed the appropriate glass cleaner and a rag, 
and seconds later, the screen was spotless.  With 
practised ease, she tossed the rag and cleaner bottle 
back into the cabinet before its hinged and spring-
powered door shut itself.  In less than a minute, she was 
back in her chair, control in hand.

         The TV came on, showing one of Linna's favorite 
shows, 'Martha Stewart:  The Next Generation'.  She could 
watch it for hours, learning new ways to decorate, to 
cook, and to make plutonium out of common household 
objects.  

[Editor's note from Nabiki:
Kasumi wrote 50 pages dealing with Linna fixing a series 
of household problems.  I have cut all of that in order to 
preserve the sanity of our readers.  If you appreciate 
this, please send me money.  Those who wish to see the 
cut section can mail ktendo@nerimanet.net.jp .  I'd also 
suggest therapy.]

-----------------------Section Break----------------

         Meanwhile, Priss found herself hogtied in the back 
of a pickup truck.  This is what I get for spilling beer all 
over Linna's carpet, she thought.  I should have offered to 
clean it up, but I didn't, and now Kamisama is punishing 
me.  I promise I'll always clean up after myself if I get 
out of this alive!  

         Bumping along in the back of the truck was not fun 
at all, especially when a huge bag of dirt broke open and 
poured all over Priss, making her itch.  She tried to 
scratch, but her hands were tied together behind her back 
and the itch was on her stomach.  I guess I shouldn't have 
tracked all that mud all over Linna's apartment either, 
she thought.  I promise I'll clean it up when I get out of 
this!  Cleanliness will be next to godliness for me!

         Finally, the long dirty ride was over.  Being evil, 
the boomers who had captured her wouldn't let her clean 
herself up, but simply carried her, STILL DIRTY!, into 
their evil fortress.  Well, their evil warehouse, which 
was lablelled 'GENOM EVIL DIRT MANUFACTURING 
COMPANY'.  Priss had always wondered why Mega-Tokyo 
was so dark and filthy; now she knew why.

         They hauled her into the dirt storage room and 
threw her onto a huge mountain of lint.  Tiny bits of grey 
fluff rose into the air as she landed on it, but she wasn't 
hurt because lint is soft.  "Ha ha." one of the Boomers 
said.  "We must go do evil things now.  We'll be back for 
you later."  They left and did something really horrible 
somewhere else.  Really.

         Priss began to cry.  It would take forever to get all 
this lint out of her clothing. 

-----------------------Section Break----------------

        There was a knock at Linna's door.  She got up.  "Who 
is it?"

        "Three 35-C boomers, Miss Yamazaki.  Largo sent us 
to kidnap you.  Have we come at a bad time?" was the 
reply.

         "Can you come back tomorrow?  I'm pretty tired and 
I could use a good nap."  All this cleaning really wears me 
out.

         "I think Mr. Largo might fire us if we don't bring you 
back tonight, ma'am," the boomer said through the door.  
"But I need to pick up some flowers for my girlfriend.  We 
can come back in about twenty minutes if you'd like to 
change into something nice."

        "Thanks.  I'd appreciate it if you could do that.  And 
I'll try to have some tea ready for when you come back."  
She headed into the kitchen to put some water on the 
boil.

       "No problem, ma'am.  We really should have called 
ahead and scheduled this, but Mr. Largo tends to make 
these really hasty decisions and then he gets mad if he 
doesn't get it before he asked for it."  

        "I understand completely."  I'll have to hurry if I'm 
going to do up my hair, find a nice dress, change, AND fix 
tea and cookies, she thought.

************

Ryouga's section #3

        When the knock came, Linna was quite surprised to 
hear it coming from her bathroom instead of the front 
door.  How did the Boomers get in there? she wondered.  
It wasn't the boomers, it was Daley.  "Hey, this isn't 
McDonalds," he said.  "You're all...dressed up!"

        Linna looked stunning in a fancy blue dress.  Daley 
stared at her for a while, trying to say something, but he 
didn't know what to say.  Everyone thought he was gay, 
but really, he just got tonguetied around women.  He'd had 
a crush on Linna for a long time, but had never been able 
to say anything.  Especially with that lowlife Leon 
around, who kept trying to take ALL the Knight Sabers for 
himself.  At least Linna didn't hang on Leon the way Priss 
did.  She smiled at Daley, the smile that always made 
him get all mushy inside and not know what to do.  "I was 
hoping the person claiming to be a boomer at my door 
was you, so I got all dressed up."

       Ask her out, Daley told himself.  Ask her out.  "You 
wanna go bust some criminals with me?"  Not quite what 
he meant to say.

       "Sure thing,"  Linna said.  She went to her gun closet 
and put three grenades and a Mac-10 in her purse, then 
turned to Daley.  "Will we need one of my drug pigs?"

       "Naah, that's the Normal Police's job."  He gulped, 
then opened the door for her.  She stepped through and he 
followed.  Oddly, the lights seemed to have gone out in 
the hallway of her apartment building.  "You should call 
the superintendant, Linna."

       "I think this is my broom closet, Daley."  Linna 
replied.

                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

        They didn't stay in the broom closet all night, 
although Daley would have been happy to do that with 
Linna.  Eventually, they ended up at a nice restaurant that 
didn't serve pork, since they weren't cannibals.  Instead, 
they went to a nice place that served French cuisine and 
stuff.  After a lot of good food, something mushy might 
have happened, except...

        Leon ran in, throwing himself at Daley's feet.  
"Daley-sama!  You have to help me!  Priss has been 
kidnapped, and I was too pathetic to save her!  Only you 
are a good enough fighter to stop the evil boomers who 
kidnapped her!  Only your surpreme skills could possibly 
defeat them!  I can't do it!  I'm not good enough!"  He began 
to cry, a pathetic wreck of a man.

        While Daley knew Leon deserved humiliation 
because of his false pride, he felt compassion towards 
Priss, who deserved better than some horrible fate at the 
hands of a boomer.  "I'll help you for Priss' sake, Leon."

        As Leon abased himself, Linna smiled at Daley.  
"You're such a hero, Daley!"

       "It's nothing that a true man like myself can't 
handle," he said humbly.  "Which, of course, is why Leon 
couldn't handle it."

       Leon nodded.  "I'm just not manly enough.  I 
understand that now."

       Daley stood up and hailed the waiter.  "Check please.  
I have a job to do."