Well, I seem to be in a silly writing mood tonight. Best make the most
of it. How about a -bit- more plot this time, huh?
"When do the tentacles show up?" - Henry J. Cobb, 9/25/98
Magical Girls Nightmare Team II
by Pyae, the Dark Elf
Prologue
Every story begins with a question. How was the world created?
Who started the second world war? Why does uncle John quack every time
he sees a cat?
But for a story to make sense, it must first be put into the proper
context.
***
In other planes of existence, outside of our limited universe, beings
of incredible power reside. Their shapes would make no sense to us if
we saw the first three dimensions of their true forms, but they often
mold themselves into something resembling human for our convenience.
If there had been a human present, this is what they would have
seen...
A kindly-looking man with a long white beard was seated behind a
large wooden desk. He smiled at the gangly younger man across from him,
who shifted nervously in his seat.
"Look, all I'm saying is that we should have a bit of fun. A wager
to make things a little more interesting for a time."
"WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
"To see who can create the most chaos. The loser will do any one
thing that the winner wants."
The older man stroked his beard for a moment before replying,
"AGREED."
The other man's eyes seemed to glow redly and a devious smile spread
across his face. With a snap of his fingers, he disappeared in a red
puff of smoke.
The elderly man drummed his fingers on the desk for a few seconds.
Pushing the intercom button to his secretary, Kami-sama said, "SEND FOR
SKULD."
***
Every joke also begins with a question. Who's on first? What do
you get when a singing Dragon falls into a Dwarf mine? How many Bill
Gates does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
To get to the Other Side.
As with a story, the answer doesn't always make sense when outside of
the original setting.
***
In all fairness to the person who first told the joke, the Chicken
looked like just that. Only by coincidence, however. In fact, he was a
multi-tentacled horror from Outside. But since the tentacles existed in
at least five dimensions, they looked like dirty white feathers to a
human observer.
And the Road was an area of the Chicken's home reality that leaked
into other universes. Because of this instability, movement through the
Road was much easier and faster than in other areas.
The Other Side was an exclusive club where the big boys hung out.
They had all Crossed the Road at some point and had come back. Been
there, done that, got the T-shirt (often with part of a human still
inside). Beings such as Cthulhu, Avoozl, and those multi-colored demons
with the coat hangers stuck in their heads were just some of the
regulars at the Other Side.
The Chicken had never Crossed the Road. Sometimes he would sit
for days and stare at the abyss on the other side, but he had never
worked up the courage to even step into the Road. But that was about to
change. He was determined to do it this time.
The Chicken took a step into the Road.
***
Driving along in a beaten-up station wagon was an average family.
Dad, Mom, and 2.5 Kids. The father, Roger, had a slight beer belly.
The mother, Betty, was somewhat overweight and wore a pair of eyeglasses
that swept out widely to each side. The eldest child, Alice, had red
hair done up in two pigtails. The middle child, Greg, wore a pair of
overalls and a straw hat. And the youngest, Michael, small enough to
only be counted as a half, had his nose stuck firmly between the pages
of a large book.
Perhaps you don't believe this is an average family?
"Are we there yet?"
"Daaaad! Greg keeps pulling on my tentacles!"
"I didn't do it! It was Mikey!"
"Are we there yet?"
"Stop that bickering right now or I'll have your Father turn this
spell around and we won't go to Nasty World."
Perhaps you'd be right.
"You listen to your Mother!"
Roger turned back around just in time to see the Chicken step into
the Road. Honking his horn, he swerved the vehicle to the left. The
noise spooked the Chicken, who sprinted forward and across the Road.
The speed of the Chicken's passing caused turbulence in the Road's
energy, spinning the station wagon around and plunging it into the abyss
as well.
An evil chuckle and a whiff of brimstone later, the Road was empty
once more.
*****
Don't ask me when I'll get another part written. Definitely not for a
couple of weeks. It seems every time I set a deadline for writing, I
fail miserably to achieve my goals. *Sigh.*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Josh Green, aka Pi -- SORT@BUCKET.UALR.EDU
http://bucket.ualr.edu/~sort/fanfic/
---------------------------------------------------------------------------