This is just an idea I've bounced around for a day or two... It needs
tidying up... Please tell me if it's a good one.
Oh, For God's Sake!
---------------------
It was on a monday that my sink exploded.
I'm not kidding. I walk into my room, and there's a bang, as... well...
you get the idea.
"Matthew? Are you here?"
"WHOEVER THAT IS," I roared, "HAD BETTER BE ABLE TO FIX IT!"
"Is that any way to speak to your sister?" Jessica asked, with a frown,
as she stepped out of the wreckage.
I fainted.
Some time later, I saw that my sister had laid me on the bed, and was
watching over me. "Good, you're awake. And I've got some incredible news
for you!"
"What, you've finally taken after your lookalike and invested in some
plastique?" (You guessed it. my sister is a lokalike of Minnie-may
Hopkins. HEY! She's my sister! I don't want her dating any of you geeks!
^_~)
"Nope! I'm a goddess!"
Talk about high opinion of yourself... "Jessica, I don't have time for
this..."
"Seriously! Now look at me!"
She did seem to have a few marks on her face. They didn't look like
makeup...
"Right. You got dome tattoos, and Mum kicked you out."
"No! This girl, Skuld, popped out of a cup of tea!"
Jessica has been known, on occasion, to mess around with mind-altering
substances. This time it looked like a straight-jacket job.
"Yes, lovely. Now just you lie down for a minute..." I tried to sound
soothing.
"HMPH! I thought you'd be pleased!"
"I'm delighted for you. Now lie down..."
"NO! Force flare!" A blaze of power erupted in her hand. I couldn't say
anything about that.
"Right. Now tell me all about this from the beginning..." And Jessica
told me how she'd made the error of saying 'I wish I could do stuff like
that!' to this Skuld character, and became a goddess.
My sister is sixteen.
She is also now in control of (presumably) immense supernatural forces.
Oh, Shit.
"Why'd you come here, anyway? There's nothing here... Oh no... you
didn't..." I suddenly had a flash of inspiration. When she was here last
year, she fell for this guy called Lee. Lee wanted nothing to do with
her.
"MM-HM!" She beamed. "Now where is he?"
"Not here! And why did my sink explode?"
Jessica looked down at this. "Well... we each get our own travel
medium... Skuld has water... I have... drnz." She finished weakly.
"Sorry?"
"Drains."
I started laughing.
Ten minutes later, I stopped. "Well, there must be another reason why
you came here. To grant your brother some powers?"
"Not unless the Lord tells me to. Actually, I came to you for advice."
"Don't ask me about how to approach Lee."
"NO! It's this..." and out of nowhere, a beautiful Katana appeared.
"And this is, besides beautiful?" I took the katana from her hands, and
examined it VERY carefully.
The scabbard was black and green; nice shades of the colours, as well.
But that wasn't what was so surprising. It was the maker's stamp that
was interesting.
"HOW ON GOD'S EARTH DID YOU GET A MURAMASA BLADE?!"
"Nothing but the best for we deities!"
"Okay. Why do you have this sword? A straight answer, please."
"All deities get their own personal weapon. This is mine..."
I was beginning to get a feeling of the following sentence...
"And you're the only person I know who does kendo, so..."
Oh, Shit. Again.
"Please train me!"
"Jessica, I'm not that good! You'd be pathetic with my training at
best!"
"Oh." She looked somewhat downcast at that. But then she brightened up.
"But I can still get hold of Lee! He does that as well, doesn't he?"
"He used to!" But it was too late. A map of the area had popped into
view in front of her, with a little red light winking on it. She touched
that one spot, then leapt into the remains of my sink.
Just before it vanished, I realised where the light was.
Middle of the university.
Oh...
Ever had one of those times where you can't think of any word that
adequately expresses your feelings? In short, your vocabulary of curses
doesn't come close?
One of those days...
*****
I sprinted over the hill and got to the point where I could see G block.
Over the fence, and straight down the footpath. Slip. Tumble.
I had to keep going, or Lee would face a fate worse than death. My
sister. And into the university.
I saw one of my housemates, as I went in. "HiFiByeFi!"
"Matthew? What's the rush?"
"Jessica!"
Fiona broke into a run as well. Now there were two of us trying to stop
a goddess from getting something she wanted. It mioght be easier, I
thought at the time, to persuade water to flow uphill through dialogue.
And there she was. Lee was doing a reasonable impression of Ranma when
in a corner faced by Kodachi.
I had never thought that my sister could inspire such fear in anyone.
But then, I'm probably used to it. Look, I don't want to be insulting,
but Jessica has Kodachi's predatory instincts- without the rose fetish
or the liberal use of sleeping potions- and Nabiki's manipulatory
skills. In short, never get on her bad side.
"Jessica, put him down, you don't know where he's been!"
"Shut up, Matthew!"
Fi and I exchanged a look. She didn't know that my sister had the powers
she had- probably had- but I dived for her.
"FORCE FLARE!"
Pain filled my body. The force flare was not as direct as the force
bolt, but it was just as nasty.
I looked round, and saw that Lee had done a runner.
"Damn, you, Matthew! I had him there!"
"Leave him alone, Jessica! He's not interested!"
Suddenly there was a bolt of lightning, and something was etched in the
ground.
"Eh?"
"Oh, Let's see..." Jessica pushed me aside, and examined the etching.
"According to this, Kami-sama says that not only was my apotheosis a
mistake, that mistake is irrevocable. I am a free agent, at present, in
need of training, which will be taken care of, and a protector."
All eyes turned to me.
"No. No. No no no nonononono....."
*****
An hour later, I was fingering the pendant I'd been given. "So what
exactly does this do?"
"It allows you to summon armour and a weapon. That will normally be my
Katana, until I learn to use one. It's got a name, incidentally."
"Really?"
"Katana no shimmepol hakabi."
I gave her a very strange look.
That was a very strange name.
**********
Well, it's an idea. I don't know if I should continue it... but it's not
a million miles away from the way my life could go. I live in
Interesting Times. Noone who knows me doubts that.
"Katana no shimmepol hakabi" translates as (roughly) "Sword of the damp
squib".
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com