Ah, yes, can I just say that this is only the second
time I've posted to the ML? :)

  Seriously, a word of explanation:  this 'fic is actually a
sidestory/ alternate ending to a much longer and more
involved fic which, sadly, I have yet to write.  It (the main
story) takes up after episode 26, and the main characters are
Aida Kensuke and Sohryu Asuka, and constitutes an alternate
ending to the actual series.
  This story formed from a series of 'what if's that I'm not
sure I could actually trace any more, but goes something like
this:  What if two pilots were required for the new EVA's?
What are the results of strong emotional discharge/close personal
contact within LCL?  What if two of the characters were in love
with two of the other characters, and found out in such a state?
  Anyhow, please read and C&C, if you can.  Unfortunately I'll
be in the field for 2 weeks starting tomorrow, but I'll get to your
replies (if any) as soon as I return.
  Thank you, and enjoy.







			Catharsis and Moonbeams

		     	     An NGE Short

	   			  by

			   Martin L. Metke

   All characters and situations (C) Gainax and those other guys




---,-@



*thu-WOOOM*
	Shockwaves rattled the EVA, although the force was 
dampened by the LCL which filled the cockpit.  Uncounciously 
mirroring each other, Asuka and Kensuke each shielded their eyes 
with one hand, dazzled by the star-white blaze that marked the death 
of the final Angel.
	Kensuke was the first to break the silence.  "We...we beat 
it?!" he gasped.
	"We won..." Asuka breathed.  She whirled about in her seat, 
eyes gleaming.  "We WON!"  With a graceful kick, she propelled 
herself back towards Kensuke's co-pilot station.  His attempt to catch 
her hand missed, turning into an impromptu hug, which then became 
a victory kiss... which turned into transcendance.
	Kensuke felt as though he was touching a live wire with his 
lips, but that faded as something *other* entered his mind.  From the 
way Asuka had stiffened at the same time, he thought she must be 
espeiencing something similar.
	Asuka's head buzzed, curiously filled yet yawning cavernous 
and hollow, as though it had expanded.  A clear line/tone/wire/heat 
crossed her conciousness.  It hummed, awaiting a signal to carry, then 
pulsed as two voices spoke out in within her mind.   *< MisatoKaji >* 
they proclaimed as one, mixing together, yearning and love in their 
every tone.  Asuka knew these voices... one was her own.  The other 
was Kensuke's.
 	Kensuke slowly drew back from Asuka, his lips still atingle.  
He was sure his face mirrored her own, both exhultant and sad.  As he 
looked into her knowing eyes he had to smile a little. 
	"You too, huh?" he sighed.  Asuka only nodded.  The two 
pilots drifted for a moment, connected by their entwined fingers.
	"We, uh... " Kensuke ventured, then subsided.
	Asuka nodded again.  "Yeah, we should tell them," she 
agreed.
	"I... I think Kaji's dead,"  Kensuke mumbled, unable to look 
her in the eyes.  "Nobody's seen him in weeks, and,"  he paused, then 
finished in a rush, "Shinji's made a little shrine in that garden he 
kept."  He swallowed, finally having let it out, dreading Asuka's 
reaction.
 	"I...knew," she replied.  Kensuke glanced at her, suprised.  
"But I think... he will still know, where ever he is."  Her eyes shone 
brighter still, shimmering, as she went on.  "At least Misato has made 
her peace with him.  Maybe that will make it easier."
	Kensuke had to sigh at that.  "Do you really think so?"  he 
asked, not believeing it himself.
	"It doesn't matter.  We have to do this."  She shook her head 
quickly.  "That's the only way to close this chapter in our lives and 
move on."  Eyes flashing, she gave his hands a gentle squeeze.  "You 
know it's true."
	Kensuke nodded slowly, captivated.  Once again, he 
wondered at Asuka's indomitable spirit and fire.  Maybe, he thought, if 
only I ... no, much too late to change some things.  He decided not to 
dwell on it.  Instead he grinned at her.
	"Come on, partner, it's time to take this baby home, " he said 
softly.  Asuka's return smile warmed him, helped him regain the 
feeling of victory he'd forgotten in the moment.
	"Now you're talking," she agreed, settling into her seat.  They 
occupied themselves for a few moments powering up the EVA's 
dormant systems, then, with a mutual nod, they were ready.  Asuka 
cracked her knuckles, then ordered, "Special EVA Technical Officer 
Aida, take us home!" 
	"Roger!  Deploying E-M wings...Now!"  Kensuke revelled in 
the power which Unit 05 shared with him.  Maybe he coldn't pilot 
worth a damn, he thought with a feral grin, but could any of the other 
Third Children do _this_?!  Dissolving, melding with the living 
machine, he stretched out his conciousness.  The wonderful thrill of 
synchronization swelled as he felt four massive wings crackle into 
being behind him.  Pouring his essence into the link, willing the 
EVA's power to shape his thoughts, Kensuke Aida flowed into the web 
which bound it all together.  _This_ was his calling, he knew:  to 
unleash the full potential of the Evangelion.  He could trust Asuka to 
wield that power.
	"Go," he whispered, not sure if she heard but certain that she 
understood.  Together, joined within an angel of light, they sped 
towards the Earth.

---,-@

	Kensuke found it simplicity itself to spoof Nerv's early-
warning and radar systems.  His growing understanding of the A.T. 
Field's intracacies ensured them an undetected landing.  He and Asuka 
had both decided that their personal business needed attending to 
before they returned to face their homecoming at Nerv., so they 
prepared to part in the deserted school yard, drawing a last little 
comfort from the kneeling Unit 05 which towered over them, waiting.
	"You gonna be okay on your own?"  Kensuke asked gently.  
He placed a hand on Asuka's shoulder, hoping their new-found likn 
would carry his thoughts of well-bing to her.  She nodded, covering 
his hand with hers.  Gazing back at ther EVA, Asuka seemed to draw 
determination like air into herself.  She blew out a heavy breath, 
turned back to Kensuke, and nodded again, this time more forcefully.
	"I've got to do this one alone, partner," she stated.  "How 
about you?"  His own nervousness was apparent too.
	"I don't really know," he half-laughed, "I'll tell you when it's 
over."
	Asuka's lips curled in a small smile.  "I'll see you back here, 
then."  They parted, each seeking a different path.

---,-@

	Asuka gazed down the slope towards the small patch which 
Kaji Ryoji had appropriated in the short time he'd been with them.  
Although it was near her apartment block, she knew that no-one 
would notice or investigate a child wandering down to the road, and 
once across it one was hidden by the tall grass which surrounded the 
garden plot, privacy assured.  Steeling herself, Asuka wished her 
partner luck and continued on her way.

---,-@

	Kensuke was glad that the Angel alert still held; he wasn't 
sure he could face anyone else until his task was done.  Though he 
wasn't sure what it would accomplish, he hoped that getting his 
feelings off his chest, as it were, would let finally let him continue 
with his life.  Asuka had been right that this melacncholy had led to 
his rash actions, the whole craziness leading up to the theft of EVA 
Unit 05 right in the middle of an Angel attack;  he just hoped that she 
was right about this cathartic measure as well.  Breaking into a jog, he 
rounded the corner of the apartment block where Misato and the other 
pilots lived, sparing a moment to wish Asuka some happiness of her 
own.

---,-@

	Misato jerked awake, her heart pounding in time to the 
thumping at the door.  Pushing away from the table where she'd fallen 
asleep for the third night in a row, she dashed down the hallway and 
skidded to a halt in front of the door.  One hand snagged the chain free 
while the other slapped the lock release, then she nearly tore the knob 
off wrenching the door open.
	"I lost my card,"  Asuka explained sheepishly.  Further 
explanations where halted, however, when Misato grabbed the girl in a 
fierce embrace.
	"Misato, I... I have something I need to... talk to you about," 
Asuka forced herself to say, though it came out sounding very quiet.  
Misato pulled back, wiped her eyes quickly with her hand, and 
nodded.  She led Asuka back inside, calling out, "Pen-pen, look who's 
home!"

---,-@

	Kensuke picked his way through the tall grass, grateful that 
twilight hid him from prying eyes but still wishing for enough light to 
get him to the garden without breaking his fool neck.  With that 
thought, of course, his toe caught on some infernal low-lying vine, 
pitching him face-first into the dirt.
	Chuckling quietly, he dusted his palms off and hunted around 
for his glasses.  Satisfied they were undamaged, he sat Indian-style on 
a flat stone next to the carrots.  For a few moments he just composed 
himself, emptying his head and enjoying the feel of the warm rock 
beneath him.
	Kensuke clasped his hands together on his crossed ankles and 
began to speak in a low, calm voice.
	"I... don't know if you remember me, Kaji.  My name's 
Kensuke Aida; I'm one of Shinki's classmates.  I don't know if you can 
even hear me, if you're 'out there' and somehow aware of me, but if 
you are, I've got something to tell you and I figure this is a good place 
to do it.
	"It's like this..."
	As cozy glowing windows began to light the night, the 
chirping of crickets echoed through the fragrant air, not at all 
disturbed by one young man talking quietly to the stars.

---,-@

	"How is he?  Asuka whispered, waiting for her eyes to adjust 
to the darkened room.  A small rectangle of warm yellow light fell 
across Shinki's chest, highlighting the even rise and fall of his breath.
	"He's fine, just exhuasted from that last battle.  He regained a 
lot of his old strength while in the coma, but still..."  Misato sighed, 
then led the way out to the living room.  After one last glance inside, 
Asuka shut Shinji's door and followed.
	Misato, unable to keep her questions in check, faced the 
young woman as they stepped to the sliding glass door leading onto 
the balconey.  "What happened?!  We thought Unit 05 was destroyed 
by the Angel!"  she whispered fiercely.
	Asuka shrugged as they settled cross-legged on the floor, not 
bothering to turn on the lights.
She contemplated the sleepy, dusky city as she spoke.
	"Kensuke... found out how to become the, the soul of the 
EVA, I guess you'd say.  Without him, we would've been annihilated.  
He protected us, came up with the power to beat it.  I don't know 
_how_ he does it, though."  At Misato's look, she relented a little.  
"Well, all I do know is he got absorbed by the EVA, just like Shinji 
did, but figured out how to come back again."  She gazed at the rising 
moon, nearly full and dazzling.
	"When you took off, those four wings..."  Misato followed the 
girl's gaze, remembering the awesome sight of Unit 05 blasting out of 
Nerv-2 and streaking into the sky, propelled by glowing, insectoid 
wings.  "Did he do that too?"
	"He gives me the power, and I use it," Asuka nodded.  "He's 
the soul, and I'm the mind, I guess.
We couldn't have beaten even a weak Angel seperately, but we beat the 
strongest one together."  
	Misato looked at the girl she'd barely come to know in the 
time they'd lived together.  Although the moonlight softened her face, 
Asuka looked tired.  Both physical fatigue and a weariness of the soul 
left her face aged beyond her scant 14 years.  What we do to them, 
Misato thought, even in for the sake of humanity, it can't be worth 
this.  Not wanting to press any further at the moment, she finally 
asked, "Asuka, how are _you_ doing?"
	Asuka smiled wanly.  "I've been better," she admitted.  Misato 
subsided into silence again, relief at Asuka and Kensuke's safe return 
competing with concern for the young woman she'd made a part of her 
strange adopted family, lost and returned looking so worn.  Finally, 
not knowing what to say, she scooched over beside Asuke and hugged 
her shoulders with one arm.  Squeezing Asuka tight, looking up at the 
moon, she said softly, "I'm glad you're back."
	"Misato,"  Asuka whispered, determined again, "I need to tell 
you something."

---,-@

	Kensuke was drowsing on the warm rock when the muffled, 
"tump, tump," of sneakers on the road woke him.  Just as he began to 
rise, stiff from his prolonged position, Kensuke saw a grey blur enter 
the clearing from the same trail he'd used and, similarly, trip on that 
cursed root.
	"Hey," he called out softly, grinning.  Recognizing the source 
of the swearing hew heard, Kensuke added, "Shinji?  What're you 
doing here?"  The grey lump stuck out an appendage, which Kensuke 
used to pull his friend up.
	"I could," Shinji Ikari, said, now dusting off his hands, "ask 
you the same question, you know."  Kensuke could see little of the 
other boy but his eyes and general outline.  Not sure if Shinji was 
joking with him, he gestured that they should sit, settling back on the 
rock he'd occupied before.
	"I guess you're wondering why we're not dead," Kensuke 
started, but stilled again when he Shinji shake his head.
	"I heard a little of it from Asuka, when she was telling 
Misato.  When they went out on the balconey for privacy, I snuck 
down here."  Shinji pulled a blade of grass out of the ground, cleared 
his throat, made as if to say something, then stopped.  Kensuke 
glanced sidelong at his friend, waiting.
	"I miss Kaji," Shinji whispered.
	"...me too," Kensuke replied, looking up at the stars.  "Me 
too."

---,-@

	"Misato, I , well, first off I want to apologize,"  Asuka began.  
When Misato turned away from her stargazing to look at her, she 
continued.  "you know how, when you like someone and you find out 
they like someone else, it can change you?"  Misato nodded at this.  
"How it can make you all jealous and angry and want to hurt people?"  
Another nod from Misato, with a little knowing glimmer in her eyes.
	Asuka sighed, then continued.  "Ever wanted someone to love 
you, so much you went out of your way to make them jealous, or 
treated them especially bad just so you could see if they cared?"  
Misato, hearing Asuka struggle with the last, gave her shoulder a 
reassuring squeeze.  She knew she was no hot stuff in the comfortin 
department, but she certainly empathized with Asuka.
	"Yeah, kiddo, I do know,"  she murmured.  Remembering 
how much she could have used one in her time, Misato pulled Asuka 
into a hug.  She could feel some of the tension seep out of the girl's 
body;  it felt good to hold her and ease her hurt.
	"I'm s, sorry Misato,"  she could hear Asuka breathe into her 
shoulder.  "I was in love, I didn't mean it.  It's just, when I found out 
you and Kaji had, had already... had a relationship, I..."
	"Shh, it's alright, I forgive you."  Misato looked out at the 
city, wondering whether she'd ever have a chance to apologize to Kaji 
in person.  She'd made a mess of everything with him, up to the very 
end.  No forgiveness for her, she suspected, only loneliness... a 
humming against her shoulder told her Asuka had said something she 
hadn't caught.  "Hmm?" she inquired, absently stroking Asuka's thick 
auburn hair.
	"I said, I wish I could tell that person... how much I love 
them," Asuka murmered, Misato's warm embrace relaxing her to 
drowsiness.
	Asuka felt Misato sigh;  looking up, she saw Misato's gaze 
rest on the irridescent moon.  As  slow tears spilled from her eyes, 
Misato softly whispered, "He knows, Asuka.  Even if you can't... tell 
him."
	When Asuka felt soft sobs hitching Misato's frame, she 
reached up and gently cupped the taller woman's face in her hands.  
Standing on her toes, she looked into Misato's confused, tired, 
sorrowful eyes.  Closing her own, she kissed her lips, so softly as to 
seem the touch of a moonbeam.
	"I love you, Misato,"  she whispered.
	Asuka held Misato until the moon hid away.

---,-@

	"I never had any brothers or friends, close friends, when I was 
growing up,"  Shinji admitted after awhile.  "It was nice to have 
someone like that.  I guess I felt comfotable with him.  Like family."
	Kensuke nodded absently, knowing Shinji couldn't see the 
gesture.  He was feeling a little out of sorts.  In a way, he welcomed 
the company, but at the same time didn't feel like talking much.  
Watching the moon sink, its nacreous light dwindling, he wondered 
how Asuka had done with Misato.  Without any kind of response, he 
didn't feel like he'd accomplished anything, he felt merely tired.  He 
sighed.  No catharsis tonight it seemed.  Kensuke began brushing off 
his hands on his knees when he froze.  Shinji had silently moved 
beside him, scarcely seeming to pass through the intervening space.  
Eyes closed, he placed his right hand on Kensuke's left.
	"After I killed Kaoru, the angel who loved me and whom I 
loved," came an ethereal voice, "I saw many things - about myself, my 
friends, the people I know.  As long as we live, a part of everyone we 
know, lives."  Although the moon had set completely, to Kensuke's 
eyes Shinji glowed with moonlight.  Scarcely believing that the voice 
he heard had come from the shape beside him, Kensuke looked down 
at his hand, covered by Shinji's.  Swallowing hard, he whispered, "I 
loved him, Shinji.  I just wish I could have known him like you did."
	Shinji, no longer glowing, gave his friend's hand a 
comforting pat.  "I know.  I...think he would have liked to know you 
better too."  Placing his hand on Kensuke's chest, Shinji gazed 
serenely into his eyes.  "He's here.  I've seen it.  If you love him, keep 
that part of him.  It's as real as he himself was."  Rising, he tugged 
Kensuke up.  "Now comon, it's late,"  whispered Shinji with a small 
grin.  "We want to be fresh for your first-ever debrief tomorrow!"
 	From the edge of the grass, Kensuke turned back to sweep the 
dim vegetable patch, the last memento of Kaji Ryoji, with his eyes.
	"Goodbye, Kaji," he whispered, then followed Shinji up the 
hill.


--,-@








Originally, this was going to be about Asuka and Shinji, when
I had the first inspirations, but it quickly melded with my
as-yet unwritten series, so Aida became the main male lead.

For background, in the main series, Shinji's in a coma following
his encounter with Kaoru.  Rei moves into the apartment at 
Misato's request and tends to Shinji.  Fatalistic and depressed,
Kensuke attempts to steal the newly-arrived Unit-05, commissioned with
an experimental dual-pilot insertion plug, and ends
up abetted by a perversely helpful Asuka.  Mayhem ensues, Shinji
wakes up, things are realized by all.  Should be interesting,
provided I ever get around to writing it.
  Hope you were at least mildly entertained.

Soredewa, Matta ne!



-Martin L. Metke
-sleet01@balista.com

< "On 3, Asuka!" "Got it, Kensuke!"  1,2,3, "Eeeeva, Busterrrr,
BEEEEEMMMM!!!">
<Coming up next on E-toons: 'Shin Senshi Eva', then 'Ranma:Shin Seiki
Crisis' >