To: ffml@fanfic.com
Date: Fri, 27 Nov 1998 07:26:12 -0700
From: "Shunsuke" <shunsuke@mailcity.com>
Subject: [FFML] FFML Reviews List for the week of: November 6, 1998

                  The FFML Reviews List
                  =====================

For the week of: November 6, 1998
Reviewers:
     Paul Arezina <arezina@acad1.stvincent.edu>
     Helen Szeto  <Helen@eiw-ca.com>
     Shunsuke     <shunsuke@mailcity.com>

Title: Illuminations, Chapter 18
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Dark, Alternaverse
Author: Freemage
Email: freemage@hotmail.com

Webpage: 

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/9118/EastWindow/Eastwindow.html

Date Sent to FFML: Nov 4, 1998

Summary:

Episode 18: Run, Ranma, Run.  A discussion.  Soun gets trapped.  Baths
are taken.  Oh, and the Return of the Pig.

{Paul}
  Oh dear. Ranma has seen one too many movies where the protagonist
  speaks only in monosyllables. You know the type. But he is following
  the path of a True Martial Artist, or at least an angsty one, now.
  And if I didn't know any better, I'd say Genma was taunting Soun
  from beyond the grave, one last time. Kasumi's non sequitur was
  absolutely perfect, as was Ryoga's reaction... waiting for the next
  part to maybe find out some of what's going on in Ranma's head,
  however. 14 or 15 out of 20.

Wow.  Thanks for the support.  I'm hoping to have 19 out next week, now 
that I've actually started putting the thing down on microchip.

As for the taunting of Soun.... A major element of this fic is, to put 
it simply, frustration.  RT created a situation where each new element 
added to an already increased burden of denied wishes.  I figured it was 
only a matter of time before things started breaking.

{Shunsuke}
  I haven't really read much of this series, so I can't really think
  of it on its own, I keep getting Garden Of Eva flashes in my head. 

Never even read that one, so I can't comment on the comparison.
 

  I can't say too much about it other than it was easy to read and
  follow, and with some interesting scenes (Akane willing to listen
  sounding plausible?) I'm tempted to start from the beginning.

Well, now that I finally posted the website URL, feel free.  Hope you 
get the chance.  Of course, wouldn't you know that just as Akane wants 
to listen, Ranma refuses to talk?

  Last thing to note about this one is that sometimes authors use 
  profanity with either the intent to shock, to try and prove
  something, or to set the mood.  With the last, writers often end
  up doing it wrong.  Here, though, the single profanity occurs early
  in the story and feels like it was thrown out in an offhand manner,
  in a perfectly appropriate place.  There's nothing wrong with the
  occasional f***, s***, or other word as long as it gets used in the
  right way.  Other authors, take note, this is how to do it.

Whoo... Heady praise, over a point I hadn't even really considered.  
Thanks.  I just have characters swear where I'd most likely cut loose, 
if I were under similar duress.

Thanks for the reviews, folks!

--Freemage

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