The Silver Saotome
Chapter 1: Here's the cosmically altered and
incredibly powerful Ranma!
The universe is a big ass place.
Now, some would say that that really does no justice
to
the enormity of the universe, but is it really necessary
to
go into a long rant of how the cosmos reach out into infinity?
Is
it pertenent that you hear of how the ever extending
galaxies
form a chain in the celestial bodies that has no
end?
So, let us not go into such foolish details and let it
remain
that the universe is a big ass place.
Being a big ass place there should be many tales to be
told
in the universe. Tales to amaze, tales to amuse and
tales
to sadden. This story does none of the above.
Let us not make haste and get on with the story which
starts
in the void of space. Where no one can hear you
scream:
"THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING TO MARRY SOME GIRL
I
DON'T EVEN KNOW!"
A white streak of light sped away from a hulking space
craft
where a fifty foot tall panda bear stood on top of it. The
panda
jumped up and down on top of the gigantic ship and made
various
grunting noises while continuing its pursuit of the white
streak of
light.
The streak of white light came to a sudden halt as did
the ship
following it. When it stopped it was obvious that it was not
in
fact a streak of white light, but actually a silver coated
woman.
Her very body shined with unbridaled energy and she
stood upon
a silver plated surfing board. Also notable was the firey red
which
surged from her head and flowed down her
shoulders.
"I'm going back to Jusenkyo, old man! You want to
stop me?!" the
silver plated woman yelled at the panda.
With a wave of its massive hand a beam of pure energy
rocketed
from the panda's paws towards the silver plated
woman.
The silver plated woman dodged the blasts while riding
her board
and said,"I'll take that as a no."
More blasts of energy came from the panda's paws aimed
at the silver plated
woman who dodged them all. Then with a quick motion of her
arms
the silver plated woman unleashed a large bolt of cosmic
energy towards
the panda hitting it square on the chin.
The panda fell over and the silver plated woman said
smugly while
turning away from the bear on her board,"I'm going to
Jusenkyo to
find a cure to this curse."
But as she was about to leave the silver plated woman
was hit over the
head by the panda. The silver plated woman fell on her board
and the
panda threw her and the board onto the ship. Having done that
the ship
zoomed away to its destination.
---
On a far off earthen planet known as Katar one of the
strongest cosmic beings
in the universe tried to explain to three mortals a decision
he had made many years ago. The house where they were meeting at was very large,
but no one would ever think it the home of a god.
They were all sitting around a table as the being known
as The Stranger told them
of the news he had received. He had a dignified appearance to
himself with his white hair and moustache and solid body. He wore a green cape
and a red shirt that would have looked silly on any other person. He tried to
explain to the three mortals before him the situation he had created in a
logical manner hoping that they would not over react.
"FIANCE?!"
The Stranger looked at his youngest daughter and
said,"Yes, the son
of an old friend of mine."
Akanova said,"Why would you get us engaged to some
guy we don't
even know?!"
"I am The Stranger and my motives must remain a
mystery."
Akanova moaned at that. She had heard it a million
times, but was
always amazed at how secretive her father was. She had a gold
plated
body which luminated greatly and was covered mostly by her
green school uniform and orange and yellow hair which curled down past her shoulders. The Stranger had always favored her over his
other children because she showed the most promise in using
her cosmic energy which could even be detected by the
weakest of creatures.
The aforementioned daughter grumbled about how she hated
boys while
the blue skined girl next to her asked,"So, daddy who's
this friend of yours?"
"Genmacticus, Nabula."
Nabula blinked and said,"Not
the same Genmacticus who goes from planet
to planet ripping off all of the
inhabitants to sate his never ending hunger for
money?" The Stranger was not at all surprised by Nabula's
knowing of Genmacticus. She possessed a keen mind he had rarely seen in mortals,
but
she, unlike her younger sister possessed, very little in the
way of cosmic energy so he only paid her heed when she
showed her truly brilliant nature.
The Stranger said,"One and the
same."
"Father what exactly is this Ranma person
like?" The Stranger turned around
to look at his eldest daughter who was wearing an apron and
was setting down
some snacks on the table they were seated at. The only thing
that The Stranger
found remarkable about her was her golden hair, orange skin,
and her name which
his late wife had chosen for her, Goddess. Though she did
resonate an interesting aura The Stranger took no note of it because one would
always gain
an aura of interest when one has the heritage of a celestial
being.
The Stranger answered Goddess,"I don't know. I've
never met him before."
Akanova yelled,"WHAT?! Why would you engage us to
someone whom you've
never even met?!"
"I am The Stranger and my motives must remain a
mystery."
"ARRRGGGHH!" Akanova would have pulled her
hair out if it was possible.
The Stranger stood up and said,"Wait I sense a
strong presence approaching!"
All three of his daughters looked at The Stranger and
Nabula asked,"What is
it?"
The Stranger said,"I do not know, but it is about
to come through that door," He emphasized the last statement by pointing at
the door.
Nabula, Akanova and The Stranger
focused all of their attention on the door while
Goddess tried to get The Stranger's attention.
Goddess said,"Father, I think you should see
this."
The Stranger waved his hand and said,"Do not bother
us, Goddess!"
She tugged on his cape and said,"But father I
really think you should see this."
"Not now!" he said sternly.
The Stranger went back to his looking at the door until
he heard a window
opening and Goddess say,"Come right in,
Miss?"
"I'm Ranma Saotome and the big
panda outside is my old man, Genmacticus."
The Stranger turned around and saw the silver plated
being standing on a surf
board, hovering in the center of the room on it.
Smiling broadly The Stranger
said,"Ah, you shall make a fine husband for one
of my daughters!"
By the time he had said that Nabula and Akanova had
already turned around and
Nabula said,"I don't think she can be a fine husband,
daddy."
The Stranger blinked and
said,"She?"
Looking down the silver plated person before him The
Stranger confirmed the statement by fainting for the first time his entire
existence.
---
When he awoke The Stranger found himself lying on the
floor with blankets draped over him. Hovering over him was Goddess who pressed a
wet cloth to his forehead.
The Stranger sat up and tossed the blankets
aside.
"What happened?"he said.
Goddess said,"Oh, you found out that Ranma was
actually a girl."
The Stranger fainted at that and Goddess shook him
awake.
He said,"You can't be serious."
Goddess shook her head and said,"I'm afraid I am.
She was totally naked too. So I told her that she could take a bath and we could
find her some new clothes later.
Oh, your old friend Genmacticus is outside
and he wants to talk to you."
The Stranger stood up and saw the through the open
window what looked like a giant panda outside. He studied its aura and, sure
enough, it was Genmacticus.
"Father, do you think having a fifty-foot tall
panda in our yard will decrease the property value of our house?" goddess
asked.
"I believe so... Goddess, stay here. I shall talk
with Genmacticus."
With that The Stranger floated out of the window and
flew up so he was face to face with the panda.
"What happened to you Genmacticus?" The
Stranger said with a groan.
The panda pulled out a ten foot tall sign that read
<I took my son to Jusenkyo
where we were cursed to turn into a panda and a
girl.>
The Stranger blinked and said,"Son...? Than that
would mean-"
He was cut off by a large scream coming from the house.
The Stranger turned around in time to see a sliver coated body thrown in his
direction from a large hole in the bathroom wall. Holding out his hand The
Stranger stopped the body mid-air a foot from his person. Akanova
flew through the wall towards the silver coated person.
The Stranger said,"What is going on
here?"
Akanova stopped in mid-flight and pointed at the silver
coated person,"He was in the bathroom! The letch was looking at me while I
was naked!"
"Which you still are," The Stranger stated
matter-of-factly.
Akanova looked down at herself and shrieked. The Stranger
sighed and created a new outfit for his daughter.
"I don't see what you're whining about! So what if
I saw you naked?! It's no big
deal!"
The Stranger looked down at the one who had just said
that. He had a muscular figure and every contour of his body illuminated with
energy.
"Ranma Saotome I presume," The Stranger said
to the still floating figure.
Turning to look at The Stranger Ranma said,"Yeah
and who are you?"
"I am The Stranger and you will marry one of my
daughters."
Akanova exploded,"Dad! I'm not going to marry
someone who doesn't even wear
clothes!"
Ranma snorted and said,"I don't need
clothes!"
By that time Nabula and Goddess had both come out to the
lawn. Nabula shouted,"He's right. Eunuch's don't really need to wear
pants."
Ranma nodded at that, but caught what Nabula said and
shouted,"I am not
a eunuch!"
"Oh, yeah! Where are your genitals?!" Nabula
shouted right back.
Ranma reached for his crotch and said,"Here, I'll
show them to you!"
The Stranger waved his hands and said,"That isn't
necessary! We believe you!"
Akanova said contemptuously to Ranma,"Not only are
you a pervert you're an exhibitionist!"
"Well, at least I've got something to show
off!"
Akanova's eye twitched and she said,"What's that
supposed to mean?"
Ranma looked nonchalant as he said,"Nothing. Just
that you're uglier than any skrull I've ever met."
Akanova shouted,'DIE!' as she flung hundreds of blasts
of cosmic energy which Ranma managed to dodge.
The Stranger ignored the fight and said to
Genmacticus,"They're like a married couple already."
Genmacticus nodded his head and Ranma and Akanova
shouted,"We are not a couple!"
Ryoucilo
Until I find better things to write about. Ja
ne.