Before I put forth any C&C, I'd just like to mention that I'm not in the
habit of reading stories into the 5th chapter and beyond if I don't like
them. I do like this story, it's just that...

At 03:30 PM 11/23/98 -0600, Allen, Michael wrote:

I've enjoyed "Relentless" up to this point, but found the
characterization of Ranma as an SOB a little too much o take and enjoy.

Mike Allen.  

Actually, it wouldn't be so bad if Ranma wasn't so oblivious to it.
Antagonizing Ryouga, and by extension, Ukyou, like he does is probably the
best way possible to motivate the lost boy to learn the technique. (And the
chestnuts/acorns debate was a riot.) What really bugs me though is how
Ranma is written as being so disdainful of Ukyou's and Ryouga's little
"games". Considering all the similiar things Ranma does throughout the
series, like walking on the fence to improve balance, or working as a
waitress at the Nekohanten to improve his speed, I really don't see him
disapproving of this. And making Ukyou allergic to bee stings just seems
like a cheap shot by the author.

On the other hand, this IS how Ranma was trained by his father, (something
he should probably mention to his two "students"), but I don't recall Genma
displaying such raw contempt as Ranma seems to here. Perhaps this isn't the
author's intention, but if it isn't, we, the readers, need some indication
of this, perhaps another paragraph of Ranma's thoughts sometime after the
bee incident?

One final thing I would really like to know is what the author's biases for
and against certain characters are. Chapters like this one make me suspect
a strong anti-Ranma bias. Ukyou's thoughts seem especially typical of the
pro-Ukyou, anti-Ranma stereotype. So far the author has done a good job of
walking the fine line between an obvious bias and good storytelling. It's
kept me on edge and is part of the reason I keep reading, admittedly. It's
paragraphs like this that make me wonder though:

-------
"Ukyou stomped through the forest, grinding her teeth and 
flexing her grip on her spatula.  She couldn't decide which 
one of those two jerks had her more pissed off.  Part of her 
wanted to take heart from the whole thing - if Ranchan treated 
Akane that way, he couldn't possibly be serious about her as 
a fiancee.  That's how she wanted to see it, anyway.  But she 
couldn't help but think that if the positions were switched, 
and if she was the one who was unknowingly inviting a disguised 
boy into her bed every night instead of Akane, that Ranma 
wouldn't react any differently.  Not for the first time on 
this whole trip, she wondered what kind of jerk she was engaged 
to."  
-------

Now is this the author's bias, or good storytelling? Is the author ranting,
or showing off Ukyou's susceptibility to that common Nerima ailment,
delusions of romance? After all, this *is* Ukyou's thoughts, so they're
going to be biased anyway. It's wierd, but this is what keeps me reading
this. A sorta morbid curiousity I suppose.

Now, have I lost anyone besides myself in my ramblings? Oh? Good. Hope you
enjoyed the trip.

Scott

(Who *will* be here next chapter, regardless!)

----------

Scott Pollert [pollerts@hsonline.net]