About the only way to describe my reactions ot this one is to "show" you...
so to speak.
In a message dated 98-11-20 10:07:20 EST, ebon@i-manila.com.ph writes:
Pretty Pilot, Gundam Moon
A spamfic fusion by the Scriviner
At this point, the reviewer runs from the romm in abject terror. After a long
moment of silence, he pokes his head back into the room and warily approaches
the computer and sits back down to read.
<Snip>
A boy, his brown, waist length hair bouncing around behind him as
he ran towards the carnage. He was about fourteen and was dressed in a
public school winter uniform. While it wasn't unusual to find people
running TO the scene of destruction, they were either suicidal, out
looting, or into that sort of thing. You know� INTO that sort of thing
(wink, wink, nudge, nudge). He wasn't. If anything, he'd much rather
have stayed at home, but the cat was insistent. Did we mention the cat?
Oh, yeah� it was a fairly non-descript little black cat. The only marking
it had was a small cresent moon shape on its forehead.
The cat stopped as they were halfway down an alley and looked over
her shoulder, "Duo! Will you please hurry up?!" Yes. The cat was definitely
talking.
The boy, Duo, was breathing hard and leaning against a wall, "Look, I
just ran twenty blocks, gimme a break willya?!"
o.O "Duo?!?! PLEASE dont let this be a Chaosfic"
<< A super deformed Lord Chaos appears behind the reviewers head and gets
ready to smite the reviewer with a large umbrella>>
<Snip>
Duo grumbled as he pulled a largish pen out of his pocket. It was
white and topped with a golden cresent moon. It was the kind of pen one
usually found in the hands of young girls who found them cute. Honestly,
though if any of his friends found out he had one of these pens, he'd never
live it down. Let alone if they found about the OTHER secret.
He raised the pen above his head and sighed once more. This was just
too embarassing!
He lifted his head and shouted, "MOON GUNDAM TRANSFORMATION!"
^ - ^ OH!!! The ORIGINAL Duo Maxwell.
<<The SD Lord Chaos disapears in mid swing in a puff of smoke, the kanna for
cruel scrolling in the background.>>
The pen flew out of his hands, rising straight into the air as it
began the mind twistingly complex process of unfolding itself from a pen,
outwards, pulling the rest of it's substance out of the interdimensional
space where most of the extra mass was stored. That wasn't all.
Duo suddenly rose into the air and began to spin around slowly� the
light around him intensified, then solidifying into ribbons of light as his
clothes dissolved into motes of light. The ribbons wound themselves around
him, creating a new set of clothes as they wove into each other's
substance.
The pen finished unfolding into a gigantic white robot. It's build was
vaguely feminine, enhanced by the fact that the armor around the mecha's
hips was of blue metal which resembled nothing so much as a blue miniskirt.
At the mecha's chest (which gave the impression of feminine roundness) the
reddish housing for the primary lasers looked like a ribbon. And the legs
of the mech looked really like they were wearing high cut high heeled
boots. On it's head were a pair of long, yellowish armatures, attached to
ball sockets, which served as a communications array, sensors, and housed
masses of missles. Unfortunately they looked like pigtails.
<<Nervous Twitch>> Nope, they should be some kind of entangling whip weapon..
Yup, yup, Defiantly a whip.
<<Snip>>
The monster meanwhile was having a fun time in the city. Death,
destruction, unbridled carnage! Whee! It was in the process of munching
happily on another Honda Civic and thinking idly that it needed more
ketchup, as the feminine white mecha rose from behind some buildings and
landed facing it squarely.
"WHROOH?!" the purplish dinosaur shaped monster hooted. This could've
been roughly translated to 'I say, who are you, miss?'
<<The reviewer tries and fails to keep from sudenly dancing around the room
singing the 'Barney' Song>>
The mecha began posing and moving around. Inside, Duo held a quick
conversation with Luna over the cutesy pink and pastel yellow radio.
"Do I have to do the spiel?"
"It's part of the job, so will you please stop complaining and just do
it?"
"I really need to get a replacement� maybe an angel of death mech or
something--"
"Look, enough complaining and just do it!"
The external speakers of the mecha kicked in and Duo's voice (filtered by
the kawaii (TM) computers to sound like a young girl's voice) came out. "I
am the warrior of love and kindness, who pilots the beautiful and mighty
Gundam Moon! For eating other people's property, raising insurance rates
and making me come down here while I was watching TV, you must be stopped!"
He had to stop for a moment, because he really hated saying the next part.
Everyone else thought it was just a dramatic pause, "In the name of the
Moon, I will punish you!"
The crowds cheered. Duo was embarassed. The battle was joined. Of
course, we all know who won.
The end (possibly for now)
The reveiwer takes a deep breath. Then, as if hypnotised, he starts re-
reading it. He starts to giggle... then to laugh, and then disolve into full
on hysteria, until he is suddenly tackled by two burly young men wearing the
uniform of Happy acre's rest home, bundled into a straight jacket and carted
away....
End Video clip....
--
Starrngr -- Now with WEBPAGE:
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