Shachihoko: After reading a couple of scenes in this part, I realized that
this was just *begging* for an MST ...
Kiiro: ... so, here we all are! - I think.
Spekkio: Bean's running late.
Sh: If he gets here before we're --
<*screeeeech*Slam!*>
Bean: <running in> Sorry I'm late, had to lose Percy en route.
Sp: Good to see you again, Bean! ^_^ On with the MST!
On Wed, 11 Nov 1998, Sailor Solathei wrote:
Feh. I finally finish this chapter and the ML blows up. Go fig. ^_^;;
Sp: I did that. ^^ I was trading spells with Lina ...
K: <Ruri impression> Baka.
B: You're pretty good at that, Kiiro.
Sh: *ahem* The MST, people?
Final Fantasy VII: Children of Jenova
Chapter 27
Cid just couldn't take it anymore.
B: Couldn't take what, his medicine? Or life?
K: That *was* a terrific start to the story, Solathei-han. ^_^
He'd sat in Reeve's room making nice for about an hour, then did the
same in Reno's room for about the same length of time while he waited
for Doc Murphy to get done looking Junior over. And that was all he
could stand. He finally excused himself from Reno's presence, made a
beeline for the one patio on the premises where smokers were not
looked at like the scum of the earth, and happily lit up. He went
through well nigh an entire pack before Doc Murphy finally found him.
B: <grins> Smokers aren't the scum of the earth ... maybe the scum of the
Planet, but not of the earth.
Sp: Different world, different rules?
Sh: I didn't think anyone could smoke that much that fast. o.o;
K: It's fiction. ^^
"There you are," the doc said. "Been looking all over for you. Your
friends suggested I look here."
Cid made a sort of agreeable grunting noise as he lit up another
cigarette on the smoldering butt of his previous one. "What's the
news?"
The doctor shrugged and flipped through several pages of notes and
charts and such on his clipboard. "Well, we ran C.J. through a
complete lineup of physical and psychological exams." He continued to
scan his notes, pausing to scratch his head. "Never seen anything like
this in my whole medical career."
"What?"
"Well, the first thing we did was check for Jenova cells. Didn't find
a single one, living or dead."
Cid nodded and gave a little sigh of relief. "That's good."
Sp: Yeah, Jenova cells tend to be a bad thing ... hey, what do you call a
dead Jenova cell?
Sh: . o O ( Oh no ... ) What do you call a dead Jenova cell?
Sp: You don't. There's no such thing.
K/B/Sh: ...
Doc Murphy shrugged and continued. "She has the lowest cholesterol
level I've ever seen, her EKG and her brain scans look like they were
copied out of a textbook, and she has the hearing, vision, and
reflexes of a fighter pilot. Of course, that might just be from you.
In short, she's a perfectly healthy young woman." And he seemed to
stress those last two words just a bit.
"Go on," Cid said a little warily, sensing there was more to it than
that.
Sp: In a case like this, there always is.
"Okay. I'm going to level with you. Just for shits and giggles, I sent
her down to the psych guys to see what's going on in her head. She
talked to three different shrinks, and they all came up with the same
results...all of her mental processes are functioning at a level
comparable to an eighteen- to twenty-year-old woman. So it's not just
her body that was affected; her mind grew up too, and that's what
really has me stumped."
Sh: Huh. Maybe I oughta dump some of my classmates in the Lifestream ...
it might help them mature.
B: I don't think anything'd help some people, Shachihoko.
Sh: Probably right.
K: Besides, do you really want immature superhumans?
Sp: Might be fun to have around.
Sh: <shudders> Thank you, no ...
Cid puffed silently on his cigarette for a few moments, seemingly lost
in thought. Then he spoke again, slowly. "Doc...you think there's any
way to...y'know, get her back to normal?"
"Cid..." The doc was picking and choosing his words now, in the time-
old fashion of doctors getting ready to lay down heavy news and trying
to soften the blow as much as possible. "We know almost nothing about
K: I know the feeling. ^^;
Sp: What was the worst news a doctor ever gave you?
K: Not your business, Spek - and I'm talking about a seiyuu role I had
once, except I was a nurse and not a doctor.
B: How long've you been doing voice work, Kiiro?
K: Oh, a little while now. ^_^
the effects of Mako exposure on children, and the little we /do/ know
we learned from checking your daughter out. It would take a /lot/ of
time and research." He sat down on the bench next to Cid.
"Theoretically, speeding up the aging process is easy. It's like
baking a cake. You can turn the oven up hotter and it'll bake faster.
But once it's baked, that's it. You can't un-bake it. Are you
following me?"
Cid just sat there, letting the words sink in. "You're saying there
ain't a chance in Hell."
Sp: No, he didn't say that. He just said that it's impossible.
"Basically, yeah." Doc Murphy nodded. "I think it would be best for
both of you if you just accept the fact that she's not a little girl
anymore, and she most likely will never be again." He glanced over at
Cid, then stood up. "Listen, I have a few patients I need to check on,
and I've got to do the paperwork to release Reno and Reeve, since
they're both now well-rooted in the land of the living. I'll keep you
posted if we find out anything new."
Sh: "And she most likely never will be again." This was - if not *the*
first grammar error, then one of the first I spotted. I think it was just
the first one.
Cid nodded and stabbed his cigarette into the ashtray as the doctor
walked off.
/We'll see about that,/ he thought darkly.
Sp: Ooooooooh boy ...
K: <nods> One of the most powerful forces known to exist ...
B: In *any* world ...
Sh: Love.
B: I think things just got interesting.
K: And where've you been for the past 26 chapters of this?? o.o;; They've
*been* interesting for at least that long!
C.J. had to make a pit stop before going in to see Reeve. She was sick
of the damn uniform. She ducked into a strip mall across the street
from the hospital and bought herself a T-shirt, some jeans, and yet
another leather jacket which she put on in the fitting room, leaving
the blue suit crumpled on the floor when she left. The gloves she
kept, as well as the boots, but the rest of it she was glad to be rid
of.
Sp: Never underestimate the importance of fashion!
After a moment's thought, she decided to pick up some clean clothes
for Reeve too...white button-down shirt, pair of jeans, pair of
sneakers. She guessed at the sizes, trying the stuff on herself since
she figured they were pretty close to the same.
When it came down to underwear, though, she found herself in a bit of
a bind.
For one thing, she had no idea whether Reeve was a boxer man or a
brief man.
Sp: Easy answer is to get a pair of each.
Sh: And 'briefs' should probably be spelled with an s, ne? ^^ Besides,
Reeve's hardly brief - he can be pretty long-winded if necessary.
B: Comes of spending time in the bureaucracy.
For another, she simply could not look at a pair of either and imagine
Reeve wearing them without turning several shades of red, much less
pick some out and plunk them on the counter.
K: <giggles>
So she skipped the unmentionables and went back to the hospital, laden
with bags.
On the way to Reeve's room, she passed and waved to one of the people
the doctor had sent her to talk to. Dr. Baker was a kindly, slightly
pudgy white-haired old guy that reminded C.J. of Santa Claus to some
degree, and he had spent some thirty minutes just making nice small
talk with her and writing stuff down on a note pad. This came as a
great relief to C.J., who had spent two hours prior being poked with
needles and X-rayed from head to toe and listened to with a
stethoscope that was probably stored in an industrial freezer, and who
was /not/ thrilled at the prospect of being passed off to yet another
doctor.
Sp: Actually, storing all those instruments in an industrial freezer
*would* do a good job of keeping them germ-free.
K: You've never gotten poked or prodded with any of those ... it's not
pleasant.
And the doctors had all been looking between her and the clipboard she
guessed held her medical records with facial expressions that
approximated a monkey trying to solve a quadratic equation.
B: Now *THAT* I have to see!
C.J. did /not/ like that. At all. What was the big deal, anyway? She
was still C.J., maybe a little bigger, but jeez...it wasn't like she'd
grown a third eye or an extra head or anything.
Sp: Nah, just a pair of -- <*WHAM!!!*> Itai! x.x;;
K: <shoulders her mallet> Don't go there, Spekkio. Just don't.
Sh: Besides, I doubt the doctors are *that* unprofessional ...
B: C.J. probably would've flattened any of them that did.
Other than talking to the psychiatrists, the only fun she had was
running on the treadmill thingy until the computer program that was
monitoring her progress crashed. Apparently its programmers had not
taken into account that there just might be someone in the world that
could endure a stress test for more than half an hour.
All: <LOL!!!!!>
Scarlet rolled her eyes. "Vail!" she snapped. As usual, no response.
"Vail! Would you wait--the fuck--up!?"
Vail sighed and turned around to see what the problem was this time.
K: You get the feeling they've been doing this for a while?
B: And they haven't killed each other yet. Fascinating.
The ground they were traversing had grown steadily more rocky as they
neared the desert surrounding the Gold Saucer, and of course Scarlet
was still in high heels. Not a good combination.
K: Darn tootin' it isn't. n.n
"Why," Vail said slowly, as if talking to a four-year-old, "don't you
just take those infernal shoes off?"
"Because," Scarlet shot back in an equally condescending tone, "these
rocks would shred my feet if I did..." She thought about it a second.
"Oh...right."
Sp: Not if you don't let 'em, honey.
Vail nodded and rolled /her/ eyes. "Right."
Scarlet kicked off the offending footwear, baring her tender tootsies
to the sharp rocks beneath them. She concentrated a bit, willing the
flesh on the soles of her feet to harden like a pachyderm's hide. As
she did, that incessant buzzing in her head tried to solidify into a
coherent thought once more
/xxxreunionxxx/
but as it always did, it slipped back into static the moment that
small transformation was complete.
K: Uhhhhh ... <looks around> Am I the only one who senses a major problem
in the wings?
Sp: Wings? Those ladies - well, women - have *wings*?
B: - Spekkio, you *REALLY* shouldn't go there.
Sp: Well, if they have wings, why aren't they flying?
Sh: ... Kiiro, can you loan me that mallet for a sec?
K: Not yet. ^_^
After a moment's thought, Scarlet bent down and picked up her shoes.
Bad enough that she would be walking into the Gold Saucer clad in a
charred and filthy red dress; she'd be damned if she'd show up
barefoot as well.
Sp: Like I said ... the importance of fashion. ^_^
Doc Murphy had come soon after Cid left to remove the ghastly needle
from Reeve's arm. Not a moment too soon, either. The happy sleepy
medicine from the previous night had finally worn off completely,
leaving a shuddering, pale, and yes, sweating-bullets Reeve lying
there hooked to the nasty needle. Five more minutes, and Reeve would
have pulled the damn thing out himself.
K: Poor guy.
With the needle gone, Reeve felt fine. A little tired, maybe, but
fine. Someone had even been nice enough to bring him a pair of pajamas
to replace the lame hospital gown he'd been dressed up in when he'd
arrived. Reeve was certain that it had been designed by someone named
Seymour Butts. He got up slowly, wincing a little at the stiffness in
his muscles, and plodded to the tiny washroom in his room to take a
shower.
Sp: Good ol' Butts-san ... I love his fashion sense.
K: You want the mallet now, Shachihoko-han?
Sh: Please.
<*WHAM!!!*>
The next fifteen minutes were the most heavenly fifteen minutes of his
entire life.
Sp: That depends on what he was doing ...
K: Just a shower, Spekkio-han.
Reeve stood almost motionless under the spray for about half that
length of time, letting the warm water rinse away--three? Four? He
wasn't sure--days' worth of sweat and dirt and other unlovely debris.
B: A really, *REALLY* badly-needed shower.
And it did not escape his notice that the water swirling down the
drain took on a disturbing reddish-brown hue when he rinsed his hair
out. Archer must have beaned him a really good one...that asshole. He
hoped either C.J. or Reno had given that son of a bitch what he had
comi--
Sp: Hmmmm. Wonder what Reeve needed more - the shower, or the revenge?
K: Uhhhhh ... well, if Reeve-han knew just *what* happened to Archer ...
wasn't he the one who got stuck with the collar?
B: Ick.
"YIKES!!"
The water, with no warning whatsoever, turned from pleasantly warm to
arctic, giving Reeve a very sudden and chilly wake-up call. He fumbled
with the tap and shut it off, then he leapt out of the little shower
stall and wrapped himself in a towel. Teeth chattering, he dried off
quickly and pulled on the pajama bottoms. Well, he was certainly awake
now.
K: Yep ... that tends to work. ^^
As he was towelling his hair dry, he heard a knock on the door of his
room. He decided that he was decent enough to be seen, and he answered
the door, towel still draped around his shoulders.
"Hi!" C.J. chirped, arms laden with clothes. "I got you some--"
And she just /stopped,/ staring at Reeve, who was clad in a pair of
pajama bottoms and a towel and nothing else. "I--uh--" Her eyes were
wide, her jaw just a bit slack. Despite her somewhat catatonic
appearance, her mind was chugging at full steam, comparing Reeve to
the cute guys on the high school swim team and finding the high school
guys sorely outclassed.
Sp: Wonder what she was thinking besides that ... ?
K: <brandishes her mallet>
Sp: Just *wondering*, Kiiro! Sheesh ... o.o;;
"C.J.?" Reeve blinked and took the stack of clothes off her hands.
"You okay?"
C.J. blinked back. "Huh?"
Reeve would never know what possessed him to do what he did next, and
a little voice in the back of his mind would call him an evil bastard
over it for the rest of his life.
B: *OH* no ... he wouldn't dare ...
He cautiously reached out and gave C.J. a little poke right between
the eyes...and watched her fall over backwards like a tree.
B: ... and he didn't.
Sp: And people say *I* have a dirty mind.
K: Well, you do.
He poked his head into the hall and looked around quickly to make sure
nobody had witnessed this bizarre little incident, and then he picked
C.J. up and deposited her in a chair. That done, he closed the door,
gathered up his clothes, and ducked back into the little bathroom to
make himself presentable.
Sh: A much easier job now that he's clean, I'm sure.
The shirt was a little loose; the jeans a little tight, but they would
do. The shoes, at least, were perfect. No underwear, though, and Reeve
had a good idea why. He made a mental note to pick up a pair next
chance he had as he brushed his teeth and combed his hair.
Thankfully, when he came out decently dressed, C.J. had returned to
the land of the living. He sat down on the foot of the bed and rolled
his sleeves up to his elbows. "Thanks for the clothes," he said. "I
think they burned my other ones."
"I shoulda had 'em burn mine while they were at it," C.J. replied. "I
just left 'em in the dressing room at the store. I like the gloves,
though."
Sp: They'll probably get burned eventually ... assuming that Turk uniforms
can burn.
Reeve nodded. "That uniform didn't do anything for you. I like that
biker lady look on you," he said with a smile.
"You do?" C.J.'s eyes lit up, and Reeve cleared his throat.
/Argh...no no no stop that C.J. six years old Cid'll kill me/ "I--uh--
well--"
Sp: He doesn't know that C.J. thinks like an adult now?
K: That doesn't mean she knows the, ahem, 'facts of life' yet ...
"Well, well, well! Look who's alive!"
Reeve rolled his eyes as the way-too-chipper voice of Reno greeted him
from the doorway. "You ready to blow this joint yet, or what?"
"Don't you know how to knock, Reno?" Reeve sighed, staring daggers at
him.
"Course not. We're free men, Boss. You wanna hang around here and
stuck like a pincushion some more, or you wanna get the hell outta
here?"
Sh: That should probably be "and get stuck like a pincushion," or
something along those lines. Basically, it needs grammar fine-tuning.
"I vote for 'get the hell outta here,'" Reeve replied, standing up.
"What's the game plan now?"
"Daddy said something about meetin' Cloud at the Gold Saucer," C.J.
piped up. "I think Zack's there too. This is gonna be /cool!/"
Reno's eyes met Reeve's, and a single thought flashed between
them...that if Zack was indeed at the Gold Saucer, their outing there
would most likely turn out to be anything /but/ "cool."
K: She has *no* idea, does she ... ?
Most of the upper floors of Shinra Tower were deserted right
now...with Scarlet and Vail gone, Raven in charge, and the Wonder
Weenie off trying to get some manpower together, the building was
pretty much unoccupied.
Perfect.
B: Somebody's planning something ...
Sp: <scratches his head> Who's the Wonder Weenie?
The door to a storage room up on the 68th floor creaked open,
and...something...came bouncing out into the hall. It was an odd sort
of something. Actually, truth be told, it was made up of two
somethings, one riding on the other's back.
K: They're *ba-ack* ...
Sp: It's them! The Terrible Twosome!
B: After all these episodes ... THE RETURN!
Sh: I *do* wonder how Reeve managed to get them there, though - wasn't he
captured by the new Turks before he finished the replacement model?
The top something frowned a little and ducked back into the storage
room. No weapons. There hadn't been enough time before the Bad Stuff
happened at home. That was okay. They would just have to make do with
what they could find. The something hopped off its mount and rummaged
around the room, at length finding a Zippo lighter in the pocket of
some overalls on the floor and several aerosol cans of air freshener.
That would do.
B: Improvised flamethrower? *Nasty*. >:)
Satisfied, the somethings bounced out into the empty hall again,
toward the elevator that would take them up to the top floor and from
there, to the office Raven was currently occupying. But as they passed
a door marked with the nameplate "Bob Palmer, Aerospace Research,"
they stopped and thought for a moment.
Sh: "To the office *which* Raven was currently occupying."
Sp: Palmer ... Palmer ... - hey, I thought he got hit by a truck!
B: - Again.
K: You just can't keep a good lardbucket down ...
B: ... or in this case, a bad one.
There was something their previous incarnations had always wanted to
do.
Sh: Uh-oh ... that sounds *REALLY* ominous. :)
B: Especially when something's carrying around the aforementioned
improvised flamethrower.
They pushed the door open a little, and were pleased to find a fat
little man in a too-small beige suit sitting behind a desk, drinking
what appeared to be a mug of coffee.
"Hi," the top something said, and Palmer looked up sharply. "Nice
chins."
"Wha--where'd you come from!?" Palmer blubbered, fumbling to push his
chair back enough to stand up, and not having much luck thanks to the
fold of rug one of its casters was stuck on. "What do you want? I
didn't do anything!"
Sp: And how do you know that's not exactly what they're here for?
K: How do you know Palmer's not lying?
Sh: How do *you* two know you're not both on the wrong track?
"We have some unfinished business with ya, my chubby little pal," the
top something said in a dark and menacing tone as it reached up to
adjust the crown perched on its head. It gave its mount a little kick,
and the two of them began to advance on Palmer, as menacingly as a cat
and a stuffed Moogle could possibly advance.
K: WAI!! Cait Sith-chan da yo! <merry laugh>
Sp: <waves fans> YEAH!! Go Cait Sith!
B: <ties a bandanna around Spekkio's forehead>
"Oh no--" Palmer blubbered and babbled some more, gave a mighty
shove...and fell over backwards, chair and all, as the stuffed beast
came closer...closer...
Then it just /stopped,/ right next to the sprawled-out ponderous bulk
of Palmer. "We've been waitin' to do this for a looooooong time,
chubby," the cat hissed with a wicked chuckle...
And with no warning whatsoever, the cat leapt from its mount, bounced
up and down on Palmer's belly a few times (complete with squeals of
"Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!"), leapt back on its mount, and took off
cackling. "See ya, lardass!"
K/Sp: <LOL!>
B: WHOO!!! Score one for the Plush Pair!
Sh: You were right, Solathei - that scene *WAS* priceless.
Palmer just lay there for a few moments catching his breath.
Then, when he was quite sure he was alone...he hauled himself off the
floor, poured the contents of his coffee mug into the nearest potted
plant, and did likewise with the bottle of bourbon from which he'd
been filling the mug. "Gotta stop drinking that stuff," he wheezed.
"I'm seeing things..."
All: <laugh even harder>
Stuart had still not moved from his sofa.
He was probably the first to realize that the last days of Shinra were
at hand. Scarlet had gone insane. Vail had /been/ insane. While those
two were off chasing their supertroop, the regular members of SOLDIER
were slowly losing their grip as well as whatever Vail had done to
them began to take hold. Fifteen of them AWOL this morning, and two
more gone over the course of the afternoon. Nobody had seen them go,
of course.
B: Che. That Jenova is a really troublesome one, isn't she?
Sp: You know, I keep wondering what the connection is between her and Eve.
K: Well ... they *are* both monster-characters in Squaresoft games.
Sh: And they both have supernatural powers, can infect other creatures,
and cause others to transform into monsters ... oh, they're also both
close to unkillable.
Sp: I dunno - Jenova died easily enough, didn't she?
K: You call that easy, Spekkio? And *four* times?
Sp: So? Eve's various forms had to be 'killed' about a *dozen* times! And
besides, those were four separate Jenovas.
Sh: Pieces of the whole, Spek - except for Jenova-Synthesis, as the name
suggests.
B: Can you stop giving away the game now? Some of us haven't finished FF7
yet. Still.
K: Shouldn't be reading FF7 fanfics, then. n.n
Stuart was beginning to get some vague idea where they were headed,
though. He could hear the call too, a summons he had hoped never to
hear again. He hadn't been able to follow it the first time...perhaps
Hojo had known what was going to happen, and the members of SOLDIER
had been thrown into quarantine to keep them handy until Sephiroth
ceased to call for them. But this time, there were no such measures in
place.
Sp: Hojo *did* know about the Jenova Reunion.
/xxxrexxxunxxxionxxx/
Yes...that was why Vail and Scarlet had gone to the Gold
Saucer...Sephiroth was there. They were not pursuing him, they were
being summoned by him. What would happen when they found him was
anyone's guess, but Stuart seriously doubted that it would be
pleasant.
B: It strikes me that if Stuart were really loyal to what was left of
Shinra, he'd try to call Scarlet (or *someone*) and tell them what was
going on.
/xxxrexxxunionxxx/
/Is this all I am?/ he thought, still staring at that photo on his
coffee table. /His puppet?/
Under Sephiroth's control, he had killed the only real friend he had.
What other sins could he be made to commit when that--/thing/ pulled
his strings and said "dance?"
B: Is "bastard" too mild a term for Sephiroth?
Sh: I doubt it ... he *was* illegitimate.
B: You know what I mean, Shachi - there's gotta be stronger language.
K: Not to be used in polite company, Bean-han.
/xxxreunionxxx/
Now, as he continued to stare at the photo of himself and Kain and
Archer on the coffee table, the answer to the question he'd asked
himself the previous night came to him.
His heart was heavy, like a stone in his chest, but he stood up
anyway. He plodded up the stairs to his bedroom and opened his
nightstand drawer, extracting from it a pistol which had been fired
exactly two times since he'd had it.
Sp: And we know exactly where those two bullets went ...
/reunion/
He checked the clip. Three rounds. Two more than he needed.
Sp: It only takes one ...
K: I can't look ... <covers her eyes>
/reunion/
He pressed the muzzle of the gun to his temple.
/REUNION/
"Fuck that," he croaked, and pulled the trigger.
B: It's safe to look now, Kiiro-chan ... y'know, I love that guy's
attitude. He'd rather die than let himself be used like that - and he's
got the balls to swear back at the controller before he cuts his own
strings.
The Highwind took to the air once more, fully loaded as before. Of
course, C.J. had to come along too. She insisted on it. She wanted to
see Zack, so by Ramuh she was /going/ to see Zack, and Cid really
didn't feel like trying to talk her out of it at this point. On top of
Sh: "By Ramuh," eh? So the Summons creatures are counted as real
mythological beings?
Sp: "Real mythological?" I don't think those words belong together.
B: Anyway, Leviathan *is* the Wu-tai Water God ... so there's a precedent.
that, Reeve had decided to come along as well. He didn't really have
anywhere to call home at the moment, and he didn't want to be a burden
to Shera or Elmyra or anyone; in addition, he was /pissed/ now that
his happy drugs had worn off. He wanted to find Scarlet and give her
what she had coming.
That in and of itself wasn't much of a surprise.
K: Wants to give as good as he got, huh? ^_^
What /was/ a surprise was that Reeve was now armed with a nasty little
whip. He'd gone and bought the thing just before he boarded the
Highwind, and it looked vicious, to say the least. Its length was
spiked with wicked little barbs pointing in both directions, and
attached to the end was a small spiked ball, sort of like a morning
star.
Sp: I have to wonder - how *do* you carry something like that?
B: *VERY* carefully.
"The hell you gonna do with that?" Barret snorted upon seeing the
weapon. "Shit, Reeve, y'coulda got a gun or somethin'..."
B: Barret reminds me of Rally ... someone who *REALLY* likes guns. :)
Reeve shrugged. "I had one of these--well, minus the spikes and stuff-
-when I was a kid," he said simply, uncoiling the thing and cracking
it experimentally as the others looked on. It responded with a
satisfyingly loud report, and Reeve gave a pleased little nod.
"Oh, GAWD," Yuffie snickered. "Do you have ANY idea how silly you look
with th--"
Sp: Hoo boy ...
K: Don't *EVER* insult someone's weapon of choice.
B/Sh: <nod sagely>
Her words were lost in a little gasp and a yelp of "Hey!" as something
hissed through the air, wrapped itself around her own weapon, and
yanked it quite forcefully out of her hand. "What the f--"
K: See what I mean? ^_^
Reeve just stood there, smiling quite innocently, the whip coiled
neatly in one hand...and Yuffie's cross in the other. "Now just
imagine if that'd been your neck," he offered, still smiling.
B: <whistles> That would probably hurt.
Sp: Probably not for long ... not if it did as much damage as *I* think
it'd do.
Vincent raised an eyebrow. "Impressive," he muttered, which meant he
was probably /really/ impressed.
Sh: <grins> Ah, Vincent ... the master of personal understatement.
"Wh--w--h--HOW'D YOU DO THAT!?" Yuffie wailed, staring open-mouthed at
Reeve, who just shrugged again.
"I told you," he said, handing Yuffie her weapon back. "I had one when
I was a kid." He glanced around to see if anyone else cared to comment
on his choice of weaponry, and was more than a little amused to note
that nobody did; other than a grumble of "goddamn showoff" from Barret
and scattered applause from Reno, Rude, and C.J., the bridge of the
Highwind was silent. Satisfied, he clipped the coiled-up whip to his
belt.
All: <LOL>
Sh: Are there any further questions from the peanut gallery? ^_-
Sp: Who do you mean, us or them?
Sephiroth Obscura sat up suddenly. He'd fallen asleep at some point,
but even in his sleep, he felt the life of one of the puppets blink
out.
No matter. He had more.
Sp: "Kill all you want ... we'll make more."
In fact, he realized as he reached out with his mind and felt around a
bit, two of them were getting very, very close.
B: Do we want to know just what he was feeling?
Sh: <sighs> You're really stretching, Bean ... that was way too innocent a
line to read anything into.
But before he could determine /who/ the puppets were, the door to the
hotel room he and Cloud were sharing swung open noisily, and Cloud
bounced in through it. "Good news, buddy," he chirped. "Guess what?"
Obscura rolled his eyes. "What?" he asked, flatly.
Cloud perched himself on the edge of the bed and and grinned vacantly.
"I just got off the phone with Shera, and Cid and Mom and everyone
else are on their way! I bet you can't wait to see everyone!"
Sh: One has to remember that Sephiroth Obscura is in the form of Cloud's
(rapidly matured) son Zack at this point, or the scene makes *very* little
sense.
"The anticipation is killing me," Obscura replied with a forced smile.
B: Oh, you just wait buddy ... then you really *will* be killed.
K: Yeah .... the cure for the anticipation's gonna be worse than the
anticipation itself. n.n;
Either Cloud didn't hear the sarcasm, or it just didn't register in
his mind-controlled state. "Shera said C.J. can't wait to see you."
Sp: Mind control *does* tend to deflate even the best jokes.
"Hmm?" Obscura looked up then, quite curious. "She's coming too?
Strange...I thought..." He shook his head, as if to clear it. "Never
mind. When will they be here?"
"Any minute now," Cloud replied, still grinning like an idiot. "C'mon,
let's go wait at the station for 'em."
With a half-weary, half-annoyed sigh, Sephiroth Obscura stood,
stretched, and followed the disturbingly chipper Cloud out of the
room.
Sh: What's disturbing about it? n.n Is Sephiroth worried that Cloud's
going to break free?
Sp: You know, this brings back a question I've been wondering about ...
what's Sephiroth Lumina up to?
K: - And when's Red XIII going to get more screen time?! I miss the big
crimson fuzzball!
Somwehere between Rocket Town and Corel, Reeve's cotton mouth from
Hell decided to return. He excused himself from the bridge and padded
down to the galley, waving cheerfully at Yuffie as he passed her; she
was, of course, in her usual perch, doing her usual thing (hurling).
Sh: One other thing that I thought while I was reading this ... Yuffie has
to be in her twenties by now, doesn't she? Early twenties, at any rate?
B: Doesn't mean she can't still be called a girl. Aerith and Tifa counted
as "girls" and they were what, 22 and 21 respectively?
Reeve shut the galley door behind him, and turned around to find C.J.
rummaging through the box of MRE's trying to find something edible.
"Oh, hi," she said, looking up at the soft "click" of the galley door
shutting. "Are you okay?"
B: Edible MREs? I could swear that's supposed to be a contradiction in
terms. >:)
"Yeah, just thirsty," Reeve replied, grabbing himself a cup of water
and finding a chair. "Still a little tired...and stiff...but I'm
okay."
C.J. nodded, and then snapped her head to one side. A sound followed
that motion that was not unlike a string of firecrackers exploding;
she repeated the motion in the opposite direction, and a similar sound
came forth. "Ow, god!" she grimaced, rubbing the back of her neck,
then she laughed a little. "Sorry, that was gross...I know how you
feel. I've never been so sore in my life."
Sh: Okay ... I think we missed something; what's C.J. so sore about? Or is
the tension just getting to her?
/No way,/ Reeve tried to admonish himself. /Don't do it. Don't you
dare.../ But it was too late. "Come over here and have a seat," he
offered, even as most of his brain continued to protest that this was
a Bad Idea in the extreme.
C.J. sat in the offered chair, next to Reeve. He cracked his knuckles
and went to work on her poor sore neck, gently rubbing out the knots
he found there. From time to time, a little "mmm" or "ah" or "ow!"
would escape her lips, but he didn't think much of it.
Sp: <grins> Okay. Knowing what's to come ... I like this start to the
scene.
K: Also, having Reeve's conscience plaguing him is a *very* nice touch.
The little "mmms" and "ahs" and "ows" drifted through the closed
galley door, through the engine room, and into Yuffie's ears. "What
the hell..."
Motion sickness forgotten for the time being, she tiptoed over to the
closed door and laid her ear upon it just in time to hear another
"mmm" followed by Reeve's voice saying "You can take that jacket off
if you want to."
Sp: <snickers>
Yuffie's brain began to chug, and it came up with an answer that made
her eyes fly wide open and her jaw drop. "Oh. My. GAWD..."
K: <giggles> This is actually one of the best-done scenes I've ever seen
written ... although it's had its share of forerunners.
Quickly, quietly, she tiptoed up to the bridge and slipped through the
door to tug at Elena's sleeve.
Sp: Never underestimate -
Sh: Not fashion again?
Sp: No ... the ninja's ability to sneak around. n.n
"What?" Elena sighed, turning a rather pained eye upon her.
"Come here," Yuffie replied simply, in a whisper so that Cid would not
hear as he did his usual pilot things. "I need someone to verify that
I'm hearing what I think I'm hearing." With that, she got a grip on
Elena's sleeve and began to drag her down toward the galley.
Red XIII and Vincent, whose ears were quite a bit keener than those of
the others, perked up a bit as well, and after a moment they followed.
K: WAI! Nanaki-chan! ^_^ <glomps a Red XIII plushie>
Sh: But Red *does* need some better scenes, if possible ...
Yuffie and Elena stood in front of the closed door listening to the
odd noises that still issued forth from behind it. And in response to
them, a similar expression to the one that had appeared on Yuffie's
face moments before now showed itself on Elena's. "Is that...Reeve and
C.J.!?" she whispered, and Yuffie nodded.
"Are they doing what I think they're doing?" Yuffie asked simply, and
Elena nodded.
Sp: Uh, Kiiro-chan? Is it really bad for me and Bean to make vaguely
hentai remarks now?
K: Keep it *really* vague ... as vague (and ultimately innocent) as the
scene in question, okay?
B: Not a problem.
"I think so--"
>From behind the closed door, another soft "ah" drifted to their ears.
This was followed by Reeve's voice asking "How's that?"
Sh: Hate to break in, but that > is out of place in that line; check the
original text.
C.J.'s voice replied, "It's great...but--ow--it kinda hurts a
little..."
And this was followed by Reeve's voice again, preceded by a soft
chuckle. "Yeah, I should have warned you...it might hurt a little at
first...okay, is that better?"
"Mmmhmm."
B: <chuckles> They do a really convincing job, don't they?
Elena clapped a hand over her mouth as Vincent joined them, with Red
XIII padding along behind him. "What is it?" Red asked curiously.
Neither Elena nor Yuffie were in much of a condition to answer that.
The former still had her hand clamped tight over her mouth to keep
from making too much noise; the latter had her hand over her mouth in
a similar gesture, but she was turning several interesting shades of
violet and her entire body shook with supressed giggles. So Red just
pressed his ear to the door and listened; Vincent did likewise.
"It might be a little easier if you lie down," Reeve's voice was heard
to suggest, followed by "Okay," from C.J.
"Oh my." Red XIII backed away from the door, as did Vincent, who
appeared paler than usual. "Oh dear."
Sp: <laughs> Yep. *REALLY* convincing ... I'm just surprised nobody was
looking through the keyhole.
Sh: Either nobody thought of it ... or there *is* no keyhole.
Sp: You're kidding!! You mean nobody thought to put a lock on the door so
nobody could raid the rations?
B: Who would want to, when the food supply is MREs?
By now, various other passengers of the Highwind had noticed that
their comrades had gone missing, and they came down to
investigate...Tifa was coming up to the door, followed by Reno and
Rude, and then by Barret.
"What's up?" Barret asked, looking around quizzically. "Why's
everyone--"
"Shh!" Yuffie and Elena hissed, and pointed to the closed door.
K: <giggles> Don't deprive them of their entertainment ...
Reno and Rude pressed their ears to the door in time to hear C.J.
groan loudly and exclaim "Ohmigawd!" Rude just backed away; Reno burst
out laughing.
"Is that Reeve in there with her!? Holy shit. I didn't think he had it
in him."
Sp: Neither did he until they got started. >:)
Red XIII and Vincent had heard something, however, that had escaped
Reno's hearing...something that sounded like...popping vertebrae.
B: Dang ... they *ARE* getting into it, aren't they?
"This isn't funny!" Elena pleaded. "Someone's got to go up there and
keep Cid occupied until--until they're--done. If he hears this,
they're /both/ dead!"
Now it was Tifa's turn to listen in...and she heard C.J.'s voice
commenting, "Wow, that was great...I bet you're pretty tense too."
This was followed by Reeve replying, "Nah, it's okay...you don't have
to do anything..."
And then C.J. again: "No, really...it's okay, I don't mind..."
There was a little sigh, and then "Well, okay," from Reeve.
Tifa just backed away from the door. "Oh my GOD..."
All: <general chuckling>
There were a few shuffling sounds as, Yuffie guessed, C.J. got up.
After that, she heard C.J. suggest to Reeve that he might want to lie
down as well...and a few seconds later, a /very/ loud groan from Reeve
floated through the door.
Vincent and Red XIII frowned. More of those weird popping noises.
"What IS that?" Red asked, and Vincent shrugged.
"Ramuh on a raft," Reeve's voice came soon after, "where'd you learn
THAT!?"
"I saw Mama doing it to Daddy once," C.J.'s voice replied, and a few
of the assembled folks outside the door shuddered visibly.
Sp: <guffaws> HA!! Told you they needed to lock the door when they were
doing that!
K: No you didn't ... this series was never a lemon.
Sh: Just seasoned lightly with a dash of lime juice.
B: <laughs quietly> Good one.
"Okay," Reno sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I did NOT need to know
that." Barret just nodded his agreement.
"Too much information," Rude concurred. "WAY too much."
Sh: Actually ... if you want to get technical, you're still working on too
*little* information - but you don't know that, do you? ^_-
Cid turned around to ask Vincent a question, and found that aside from
the aircrew, he was alone on the bridge. "What the hell...where'd they
go?"
More annoyed than curious, he stepped off the bridge and took a quick
look around the engine room...and found everyone except Reeve and C.J.
congregated around the closed door to the galley. With a sighed oath,
he crossed the engine room, stopping behind everyone else. He noted
that they all seemed to be listening through the closed door, and he
also again noted Reeve and C.J.'s absence.
"What's up?" he asked simply, and everyone whirled around to face him.
Yuffie and Elena were sweatdropping.
Sp: <ominous tone> Oh, just the lives of your daughter and her single
favorite guy (who's not a blood relative, anyway). n.n
"Uh, nothing," Reno replied. Cid squinted at him.
"You're a lousy liar, Reno," he sighed. "What the hell's goin' on
here?"
B: Just remember to play poker with him. <evil grin>
K: And the answer is right ...
Before anyone could answer, the voices behind the door came through it
once more, answering for them...Reeve's in a loud groan of "Oh /god!/"
and C.J.'s in a giggle followed by "You like that?"
K: ... *there*. n.n
Cid turned blue...then white...then vivid red. He barged through the
assembled mass of people in front of the door, threw it open, and
roared over the din, "WHAT THE /HELL/ IS GOING ON IN HERE!?"
Reeve--fully clothed, lying on his stomach--looked up and blinked.
"Beg pardon?" he asked.
C.J.--equally fully clothed aside from her jacket and shoes, standing
on Reeve's back in her stocking feet--blinked as well. "Hi,
Daddy...what's wrong?" She shifted her weight from one foot to the
other, and Reeve's spine answered with a loud pop. Reeve himself
answered with another loud groan.
All: <ROFL!!>
Vincent and Red XIII looked at each other, and an unspoken "Aha,"
passed between them. So /that's/ what those popping noises had been.
C.J. stepped down from Reeve's back, and Reeve stood up slowly and
stretched. "Oh, man," he groaned. "I feel about four inches taller
now. Thanks, C.J. I needed that."
Cid looked between the two of them, jaw hanging. "You're not...you
weren't...oh, man." He flopped weakly in a chair with a gale of
relieved laughter and lit up a cigarette.
C.J. raised an eyebrow. "What'd you THINK we were doing?" she asked,
then shook her head and raised one hand...the universal sign language
for "don't go there." "No. Forget it. I get the feeling I don't wanna
know."
Sp: Like we were saying ... she *is* starting to think like a grown-up.
/If I have anything to say about it, you won't know till you're
fifty,/ the voice of the overprotective father in Cid's head piped up.
"Oh...nothin'..."
Reeve seemed to suddenly catch on to something, and he turned an
interesting shade of red at the thought of whatever it was.
All: <general chuckling>
---
Author's Notes: I have been saving that last scene up for a long, long
time. It turned out better--and funnier--than even I had hoped it
B: Sure did! <grins>
would...and Cait Sith going "boingy boingy boingy" on Palmer's belly
was inspired by a friend's cartoon of the Warner Brothers and Warner
K: And boy, does he ever deserve it. n.n
Sister doing likewise...three new Turks down, one to go. Ugh. I was
actually starting to like Stu the Wonder Weenie. I kinda hated to kill
him off, but...ah well. And, just for the record:
Reeve is a boxer man. ^_~
B/Sp: Put up yer dukes!
Sh: And just a comment on the last line of .sig:
yap yap yap yap yap yap yap BANG!&*(^@^&%!(*&^(^$#!@#NO TERRIER
K: <giggles> That's sick, Solathei-han ...
Sh: Overall, very good - as usual. n.n Just a few rough spots to attend
to. Oh, and sorry the MST took so long ... limited time online, tons to
do, and all that jazz. (Same reason that I've not gotten any more fanfics
posted lately ... I'm working on Apocrypha 4 when I can, honest!)
Tim Miller
trmiller@bcpl.net
Licensed Typo Hunter
Supporter of the Spam Reduction Act of 1999
The full text of the Spam Reduction Act of 1999 is not presented here,
in accordance with the provisions of the Spam Reduction Act of 1999. n.n