HARD TO SAY GOODBYE

~By Kayu-chan~
k-chan@rocketmail.com

*Ranma 1/2 characters are copywrited to the ingenius of Rumiko Takahashi and
company. I _own nothing_ on these characters or their "unusual" situations.
Ranma 1/2 characters used without permission.*
~Be warned, this will be a sadfic but as for a bitter ending? You'll just
have to find out... ^_~
~I'm taking this from the manga, so no Sasuke in this one.~
~I recommend reading the previous chapters before reading this one.It will
be pretty confusing otherwise and Kuno, especially, will seem OOC. Just
reply to this or the above addy for more info.~
~Quick Summary: Nabiki, after finding out that Kuno had
started the fire that she had been caught in and also rescued her, is
unable to forgive him but begins to understand the motives of a recently
orphaned and homeless Kuno, whose guilt has led to dramatic changes in his
character. Two chapters ago, Kuno wrote a letter to her, trying to explain
his motives to her and apologising profusely. Nabiki deliberately lied to
keep him out of jail. Now, while Nabiki slept, Kasumi discovered
the letter. Akane also accidently overheard a conversation between Kasumi
and Nabiki that she shouldn't have, revealing a secret about her mother all
the Tendos knew of but her.~


Chapter 10: So Alone, Yet With You

     Sounded like someone was there. Why couldn't they go away and let her
sleep?
     "Why?"
     Hmm?
     "You should have told me. Why?"
      The voice was barely above a whisper and familiar but strange. Who...?
     "Oh, Nabiki."
      She grumbled inwardly as she finally recognised the voice, and tried
to adjust to the tiring feel of consciousness. What was up with Kasumi?
Opening her eyes with all her strength, the view was a little blurry but she
could hear the crinkling of paper. Paper? Scrap paper?! Not... no!
      With her eyes wide open, Nabiki focused on her upset sister's face,
and the pieces of paper in her shaking hands. Kasumi was so sad and shocked
and yet so dismayed. The last time Nabiki had seen a face with so many
emotions on it was when they all first found about Ranma's curse and how he
got it. This wasn't a good sign .
      "Kasumi?" she questioned, trying to shield over the sound of her heart
beating against her chest like a madman. Her eyes locked with her older
sister's and both saw the alarm in each other's darkening eyes. "Kasumi...."
      There was a short but terrible silence as Kasumi continued to look
straight at her, straight into her. It was too late to cover her guilty
face, her shock and panic of the consequences. All she could do was look
away from the penetrating gaze. Kasumi knew, she knew. What now?
      "I found the letter."
      "The letter?"
      "From... him."
      "Him?"
      "Kuno."
      "Oh."
      "You knew and didn't tell me," Kasumi's voice began to waver as she
spoke. How could Nabiki not tell her? The letter was what she thought it
was, wasn't it? Had she read it wrong? No, she knew she hadn't and it fitted
in perfectly with Kuno's strange behaviour. But... what about Nabiki's
surprise at seeing him yesterday? Was it a lie or the truth? She looked back
down at her sister, her face a picture of real emotion: unstilted, so unlike
her and so full of depth. Why would Nabiki look like that if she didn't have
anything to hide, if the letter was the only thing she knew of?
       Nabiki didn't say anything back, listening to the monotonous but
reliable ticking of her clock. Tick-tock-tick-tock. Like a bomb waiting to
go off. Perhaps this was all a dream and soon she would be awake, looking at
the time on the clock, realising she'd slept in and had a horrible
nightmare. Yes, this whole mess was obviously a nightmare, right from the
first phonecall from the hospital,  from the barely controlled emotions of a
newly orphaned Kuno, from the funeral. Melancholy touched her heart but not
her face as she came back to reality. If only this was nothing but a dream,
if only....
      "You knew and didn't tell me?" Kasumi's voice became more and more
strained as she talked, tightening with tension, just like the hard pain in
her chest.
      "Didn't tell you what?" Nabiki's voice calmed and her face stiffened
into coolness, letting no quiver of the lip or tug of the eyebrow through.
She felt as if the room was closing in on her like a sudden prison, getting
ever smaller and claustrophobic by the minute.
      "That it was him who started the fire that you were caught in." Hurt
emotion melted Kasumi's numbness. "I'm your sister." Her face crumpled into
confused betrayal as she tried to grasp what had happened and why. "Your
sister. All I ever wanted was for you to be safe and sound. Yet, you
wouldn't give me that, you wouldn't tell me and you would never listen to my
advice." She forcefully held the letter down at Nabiki's face, whose head
pushed further back into the pillow. "Don't lie to me anymore. I won't have
it!"
       Nabiki's widening eyes gave away how stunned she really was at
Kasumi's change of character. And it was her fault. Betrayed, she had
betrayed her own kind sister. But it had been for Kasumi's best and for
Kuno's; no-one had ever needed to know. Damn! Why did she let herself fall
asleep last night while reading the rest of the letter?!
       "All right, Kasumi, all right." Nabiki slowly sat up, trying to
ignore the jabbing, stabbing agony in her back and chest. "You're correct
about Kuno. He did start it," she answered vaguely, wondering if anyone had
heard her sister. Her stare became fixed on the door and not on the upset,
emotional person standing beside her bed: almost a stranger in her now angry
form.
      "And why didn't you tell me? He could have been in jail by now."
      "Now, hang on," Nabiki snapped back; she wouldn't take being talked
down to. "Of course I know he could have been in jail. What do you take me
for?"
       The tension lessened barely when Kasumi gazed at her softly for a
moment. "Did he threaten you?"
      "Threaten me?" Nabiki couldn't believe it, how could her own sister
think she was weak? Kasumi demanded trust and respect but wouldn't give it
back, treating her like a little naive girl who needed protection from the
outside world. The very thought of it shuddered fearfully down Nabiki's
spine. "Threaten _me_? No, nothing like _that_!"
       "Then what? What?" Nabiki watched as Kasumi's small fist crushed the
letter beyond repair.
       "Why don't you tell me what you think? You _obviously_ seem to have
all the answers," Nabiki drawled sarcastically. She still couldn't adjust
completely to her older sister's change of attitude but that didn't mean she
would take whatever her sister irrationally threw at her.
       "Why did you protect him? What reason could you possibly have to let
the man who nearly killed you, go free?!"
        There she goes again... Why can't she just go "oh, my!" and smile
politely? Where the heck has Kasumi gone to? Where is my Kasumi, Nabiki
thought, where?
        "Sis," she firmly replied, holding her hand up to stop Kasumi
interrupting, "for a start, he didn't mean to kill me, he just wanted to
'destroy the past'. He also needs psychiatric help not a jail sentence and
more humiliation. It would do no-one any favours to see him in there; it
would just screw him up even worse than he already is."
       "I understand that but why are _you_ protecting him?" Another
stifling, fixed gaze from Kasumi followed that question and Nabiki felt like
shrinking back into her bed but she didn't. And she didn't look away from
her older sister, their eyes chained together without release. Suddenly,
something sparkled in Kasumi's eyes and Nabiki could see where it was going.
This _was_ Nerima, of course. "Are you protecting him because you're in love
with him? Is that it?"
       Nabiki smirked coldly. "You wish it were that simple, don't you?"
      "So tell me your reasons and perhaps I'll reconsider." Kasumi leant
forward, her face drawing closer to her sister's, the tight chain between
them getting shorter but much thicker. "What happened to make you forgive
him?"
       "Hey, wait a minute. I never said once that I had forgiven him."
       "But why are you protecting him?"
       Nabiki snapped the chain of tension between them as she steeled
herself a look at the letter Kasumi still held. A few seconds of silence
passed as she continued to stare at the letter, uncaring that her sister's
eyes were still on her.
       "Like I said," she finally answered in a taut tone, "it's not that
simple."
       Kasumi continued to stare at her sister, her sister of seventeen
years and realised that Nabiki was telling the truth and that it was causing
the middle sister more pain than even she could admit to herself of.  How
Kasumi knew of this in her little sister, she couldn't quite explain, just
that the tense tone of voice with a frighteningly cool face had something to
do with it. The anger drained slowly away, leaving traces of still bitter,
rough emotion that clung stubbornly to the back of her mind.
       "I'm sorry for my outburst," she spoke in a softer voice, her face
slowly moving away from Nabiki's as she stood back up. "Please explain to
me. If I know, perhaps I might feel the same way."
       "I can't tell you," came the reply of the quieter but still tense
voice of Nabiki.
       "Why?" The same hurt, the same irrational anger that had cost her
self-control only a few moments ago, began to return to Kasumi. She hated it
and she hated hating more than anything; it wasn't her and she didn't know
what was happening to her calm personality, slowly leaving her bit by bit,
every day.
       "I don't know why but... I can't." Nabiki averted her eyes from her
sister's hurt ones, wincing inwardly at the sight of the unguarded pain. She
opened her mouth to say her reasons but nothing came out. What the hell was
happening to her?! She had to tell Kasumi something or who knew what her far
too compassionate sister might do.
       "You can't tell _me_?" Kasumi's disbelieving voice breathed barely
back. The higher pitch of the last word etched itself into Nabiki's
conscience and she then knew how badly guilt could stab at a person. A few
weeks ago the stricken voice would have made only the slightest, subtlest
dent in her.
       "I can't," she found herself saying.  The clock on her bedside table
seemed to tick louder and louder until it almost deafened the sound of her
own distant voice. "But please don't tell anyone about the letter."
       Kasumi kneeled down and picked up a bag, producing out of it a
covered bowl and a tray. Carefully, she placed the tray on the side table
and rested the bowl on top of it, taking the cover off it and set a pair of
chopsticks at one side. She looked at the bowl and then at Nabiki. In
response to the unspoken command, Nabiki cautiously shifted back, resting
her sensitive back on the soft but firm pillows.
       "Please, Sis, don't say a word to anyone."
       "Here you go, a nice bowl of hot soup for the cold weather." Kasumi
laid the neat tray on her sister's lap, sitting down next to her.
       Unsure of what reply to make to such a brush-off from someone so
close to her, Nabiki started to sip the predictably delicious soup. Chicken
noodle soup, almost exactly the same as yesterday's meal. Is her older
sister trying to send some sort of message to her?
       She glanced at Kasumi who was watching her back. She smiled politely
and Nabiki took back her comments earlier and hoped Kasumi wouldn't act too
much like Kasumi, especially in this tense atmosphere. It didn't fit and
seemed false. What was her sister thinking about?
       "So where is he?" Kasumi asked innocently, causing Nabiki to nearly
choke on her food. She knew who Kasumi was talking about and it brought back
unpleasant memories of yesterday that stirred in her heart despite herself.
       "Probably still getting drugs pumped into him," she answered
off-handedly.
       "What?"
       "He fainted, then awoke as the doctors arrived, screaming at me to
leave him alone, thinking I was Kodachi back from the grave to haunt him,"
Nabiki nearly answered with but couldn't as some things were best left
unsaid. Instead, she decided to say: "He collapsed and the doctors took him
away. It's malnourishment among other things, like lack of sleep, stress and
eating food when his body just can't cope with it. That's what I think, they
just told me that it was malnourishment. I doubt he'll be burning down
houses for some time." She finished sipping her soup, half-enjoying,
half-hating herself for enjoying the horrified expression on Kasumi's face.
       "Oh, dear! Will he be okay?"
       Nabiki smirked coldly for a second time. "I thought you wanted to see
him suffering in prison for crimes against humanity. Isn't that right?"
       This remark stabbed Kasumi and her face fell deeper into anxiety.
"I... um... I'm not without a heart! I don't want him dead, just...."
       "Just...?" Nabiki placed down her soup bowl, finished.
       "Just...." Kasumi took the bowl and the tray and put it back in her
plastic bag, picking up her other bag, and slipping her white gloves on.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she said calmly before turning round and heading
for the door, with her back to the bed.
      "Kasumi, please don't say anything."
      She stood still for a few seconds. "I'll do what's right."
      "That's what I'm worried about."
      The oldest sister walked out of the room and closed the door behind
her, leaving her younger sister staring after her.

* * * *

      Days passed by and for Kasumi, they dragged on like reminders of an
everlasting winter. The snow continued to fall in devastating bursts of
white. Frost covered everything like dusted flour. It seemed so peaceful
outside but so cold, too cold; hanging up laundry in the mid-day sun was no
longer an option. Taking a quick trip to see Dr. Tofu in order to lighten
her days when days felt too dark wasn't as easy as in calmer weather.
      Instead, she was holed up in her house, the central heating was warm
and bathing but the atmosphere, chilly and snappish. Standing here in the
kitchen, in her kitchen, Kasumi felt so very trapped. She wore her favourite
pale apron and her favourite, long flowery dress with her hair tied in a
single bunch that flopped across her shoulder and down her chest.  All so
very, very her. Yet, wearing these clothes made her feel even more fake. She
tried to smile but all that came out was a half-grin.
      She took a broom and started to sweep the dusty, immaculate floor.
Movements were jerkish and clumsy and no matter how hard she tried, she knew
she just couldn't continue like this.
       The air of the house was quiet but Kasumi knew that wouldn't last,
not when Akane and Ranma came home in a few minutes, after school was
cancelled when the heating at the high school died out about an hour ago at
lunchtime. All that had kept her from cracking... the broom in two were
schooldays. But now hearing the news of the school closures on the radio had
ended all that.
       She placed the broom against the wall and reached for mugs from the
cupboard. After all, she couldn't have her sister and Ranma come home all
cold and freezing without a nice, hot drink at the end of it. "Oh, no, that
would never do."
      Her finger pressed gently against the button on the new, electric
kettle and she wished that it would make a wheezing noise like the old one
used to. That noise could distract her from her thoughts, especially those
about lies and deceit and hate, the hate that Akane seemed to hold for her
nowadays. She refused to talk much to Kasumi beyond politeness, didn't take
trips to the hospital to see Nabiki and her opinion of Auntie Saotome was
erratic and unpredictable. She even made Father cry and didn't seem to care.
This behaviour scared Kasumi.
      "Hey, Kasumi! How's it going?"
      She blinked, turned towards the kitchen entrance and saw Ranma
standing there, still wearing his winter jacket and hat. He smiled at her
happily, almost pleadingly. She gazed at him with hope in her eyes and he
nodded slowly in the negative, an apologetic look on his face.
       "Oh, well. Where is she, in the hall?" Kasumi asked.
       "No, I'm right here," a brittle voice snapped, "big sister." From
behind Ranma, Akane stood stiffly. She had her jacket off and wore her
school uniform very neatly. Her eyes bored into Kasumi and she still
couldn't tell why, only that she felt she herself had given Nabiki that look
a few days ago, one of hurt and distrust. "Don't worry, I'm not going
anywhere in this weather, wouldn't want to catch a cold or anything serious,
you know." She pouted and started to turn away.
       Desperate, Kasumi suddenly said in a friendly, soft tone, "Would you
like to help me cook dinner for tonight, Akane-chan?"
       "You've got to be kidding," Akane huffed, her iciness being replaced
with a warm anger. She growled to herself and folded her arms, missing the
comforting feel of P-chan in her arms. "Cook with you? What for? Cooking is
a useless pursuit in the days of ready-made meals. Why waste precious time
on such a stupid, sexist hobby?!" The last phrase tripping over her slightly
trembling lips, Akane whipped her head away and stomped down the hall. Ranma
and Kasumi listened as her feet thumped up the stairs and a door slammed
shut.
      For a few moments there was silence as both parties, uncomfortable,
shifted their feet slightly, not really wanting to move but not wanting to
stay either.
      "Was it Home Economics, today?" Kasumi broke the silence, hoping for
an explanation.
      "I wish," Ranma grumbled quietly. "That isn't till Friday."
      "Oh," Kasumi replied, feeling her pent-up emotions trembling in
instability. She looked away from Ranma, who didn't seem to notice.
      "So, what's for dinner tonight?" he asked, changing the subject. "Is
it chicken ramen again, like last week?"
       Kasumi's eyes widened, growing darker as her eyes threatened to let
tears be cried and she grabbed back hold of the wooden broom. It was strong,
stable, dependable. Kasumi liked that. Nabiki wasn't dependable, lying to
her so unashamedly about Kuno's involvement in the fire until she had no
choice but to confess. Akane wasn't stable, her mood swings increasing and
getting more and more extreme by the day. And she, Kasumi Tendo, wasn't half
as strong without her sisters.
      "No, I had something else planned but," she said, pausing for a second
as she recalled Akane's recent words, "why don't we get a Take-away for a
change?"
      "Sure. I'll go get it in a few hours."
      "I'll come with you to help carry it," Kasumi added.
      "Um, okay," the teenage martial artist said unsurely. "Well, I'm just
going to the training hall, y'know, for training."
      "Of course, Ranma," Kasumi replied, her sympathetic tone revealing
that she knew why he really was going. Especially since both of their
fathers were out and no other martial artists were around to spar with.
      As he casually walked off, the front door clicked open. Kasumi,
anxiously biting her bottom lip, hoped that it wasn't whom she knew it to
be. She hadn't had to time to put up emotional defences, to keep her real
feelings in, or to decide whether to tell anyone about that letter.
Everytime someone approached her, she had to lock it up tight and secure,
her conscience banging against the locked door to be let out.
     "Hello, Kasumi dear," Nodoka greeted happily a minute later, strolling
into the kitchen where Kasumi put on her best unassuming smile.
      "Hello Auntie Saotome," she spoke nervously. "Do you want a cup of
tea?"
      "No, thank you," Nodoka answered, seemingly oblivious to Kasumi's
edginess. "I had one at the hospital."
      "It's very cold out there, isn't it? I hope you haven't caught a cold
in such horrid weather."
      "No, I'm fine." She smiled widely. "You're so thoughtful, Kasumi-chan,
taking over the household duties while I visit Nabiki. Why don't you visit
her tomorrow and I'll take over things here?"
       "No," Kasumi responded hastily, "I know that Nabiki enjoys your
visits. She's sick of seeing me, anyway."
        "Oh, don't put yourself down, Kasumi!" Nodoka affectionately smiled
at her 'niece'. "I'm sure Nabiki wants to talk to you."
        That was the problem.
       "By the way, I thought that, for a change, we should have a take-away
for dinner. Ranma and I will be going later today for it. Yes, that's
right.... So right. Right... and wrong," Kasumi sighed involuntarily, unable
to keep her need to shout out what she had learned, in for much longer.
        Suddenly, Nodoka looked her seriously in the eyes and frowned. "Is
anything the matter, dear?"
        Kasumi's heart thudded down into her stomach and her throat dried
up, protesting words dying in it. "I... I... have decided you're right, I
think I'll go see Nabiki before dinner."
        "But, Kasumi-chan, visiting hours are over."
        "I'm sure they'll make an exception," Kasumi answered, her voice
wavering with badly contained emotion. "Excuse me for a moment, Auntie
Saotome, I'll just call for a taxi to hospital." She tossed the broom
against the wall and strode through to the hall. Nodoka watched with
confusion as the broom clattered to the ground noisily. She wondered what
was going on in this household; first Akane was acting strange, and now
Kasumi.
         In the hallway, Kasumi grabbed the phone and dialed the local taxi
firm's number. As she ordered it, she thought guiltily of lying like this,
of knowing an important truth and telling no-one, covering up even the idea
of it. She had to tell someone she knew, perhaps talking to them would help
her decide conclusively.

* * * *

     "Hmph. Idiots, all idiots." Couldn't they just leave her alone? Wasn't
there anyone who understood how she felt? They betrayed her on purpose and
now she couldn't help thinking of the past, of regrets and of confusion, all
of which now gave way to too much clarity. Her whole family; she had trusted
them. It made her so angry that she knew she had to talk to someone! So very
angry....
     Wait a moment.... Anger. That was it!

* * * *

       "The opportunity cost is equal to the... oh, who cares?" Nabiki
grumbled, pushing the textbook further down her bed. She leant back against
the pillow, tense and stiff and sore. Windows on either side of her bed
illuminated the lonely room with uninvited, cheerful light. Outside, it was
probably snowing and looking beautiful; people had told her what a lovely
view she had. Great, she really hoped they enjoyed it. She sure as hell
wasn't even allowed to turn around to look at it, her bruised ribs taking
forever to heal and her broken leg was a real pain, both literally and
figuratively.
       She looked hopefully at the clock on her side table, tick-tocking
away as it slowly drove her mad, and grimaced. "It's only been an hour since
Nodoka and Jiki left? Is that all?" Jiki brought her  schoolbooks and
homework, even though he wasn't even in her class. He wasn't a bad guy or
anything, just so nervous and on edge around her all the time. It put her on
edge. Did she really scare people that much? And was that a good thing? Like
how she lied to Kasumi so easily, gave Kuno the cold shoulder, teased poor
Ranma - hey, hang on a sec there! She had too much time on her hands, way
too much....
      'Creeeak.'
      The noisy door opened and a young, smiling female nurse stepped in,
armed with Nabiki's lunch on a trolley. "Hello, Tendo-san. Lunch!"
      "I know, I could smell it from the end of the corridor."
      The nurse didn't seem to notice Nabiki's flat comment and trundled the
lunch trolley towards the bed, her hair tied in a ponytail going down the
front, just like Kasumi. Nabiki sighed in resignation and decided to admit
to herself that this just wasn't her day.
      The lunch was placed on a special tray in front of Nabiki, who stifled
another grimace as she sat up and looked at the 'delightful' delectations.
       "Hey, Nurse Chigusa, could you-"
       "Don't worry, Tendo-san," the nurse assured her, a teasing gleam in
her eye, "I'll just check up on your boyfriend after I've finished with
this."
       "He's not my.... Oh, never mind." Nabiki had tried for the past four
days or so to convince the nurse that she wasn't Kuno's girlfriend, perish
the thought. All that had happened was she ended up sounding a bit like
Akane about Ranma and that scared her enough into letting the nurse believe
what she wanted to. All she wanted to know was how Kuno was doing. It was
true that his condition was stable and he had woken up, but still-
      "See you later, Chigusa," she called out as the nurse left the room,
who said goodbye also while giggling. People shouldn't be allowed to work in
hospitals with a cheery temperament like that.
       Laying her head back up against the comfy pillow that rested her
weary back and head, Nabiki brushed the errant strands of hair out of her
face and stared up at the ceiling. The smell of the hot food wasn't that bad
but she'd just let it cool down before eating it. Man, how she wished that
Kasumi could bring another one of her me-
      But she wouldn't, not since four days ago, not since she discovered
the letter and asked Nabiki for a personal answer that she couldn't give.
Now, Nabiki could hardly stop thinking and worrying about whether Kasumi was
going to tell anyone, whether her too kind sister already had and Kuno was
now rotting in prison, rambling on about his dead sister as the poor jail
conditions slowly killed his weak body....  She frowned at the last thought
and picked up the textbook. "Way too much time."

* * * *

     Downstairs, a traumatised teenager was fumbling in and out of
consciousness. So many emotions were tangled inside of him that he didn't
know what to do. Trapped in a room of his own, the occasional nurse or
doctor was the only comfort amongst the nightmares, dark thoughts and
feelings of frustration.  In this weak body, he couldn't help Nabiki,
couldn't fulfill his penance and, as much as he didn't want to admit it as
it hurt too much, he wanted her to forgive him, not just understand him but
to look at him kindly. And it hurt so much as he knew that it was not likely
to happen, that she would be as distant as everyone else and he would be
alone for the rest of his short life.
      The room had only one small window and it still took much effort to
stand up and watch the brilliant white snow or the wet streets shining in
the night against the streetlights. He spent much of his time lying in bed,
unable to concentrate on much but his thoughts....
      A nurse opened his door and walked into the light but shadowed room.
"Mr. Kuno?"
      "Yes?" he asked wearily, in the grasp of depression.
     "There's someone here to see you and they were quite insistent," the
female nurse stated, silently noticing the melancholic look in Tatewaki's
eyes. "Are you up to visitors?"
      "Someone here to see me?" Tatewaki repeated, wondering if it was
Nabiki. No, she couldn't be well enough to come down yet, could she? "Of
course they can enter." He was curious, who could it be?
      "He said yes, Miss Tendo," the nurse said to someone outside the door.
       It was Nabiki?
      Then, as the nurse left and Miss Tendo entered, he saw that it was
not, in fact, Nabiki.
      "Hello, Kuno," Kasumi said politely, walking towards him and taking a
seat on one side of his bed. "You're looking much better than before, I must
say." She gazed at him, a serious look in her eye accented by a slight
frown.
      "Kasumi Tendo? What are you doing here?"
      She took a few deep breaths and the short seconds felt like hours to
Tatewaki; he didn't know why, though.
      "We need to talk, Kuno." Her voice was lower than usual and she seemed
to be trying hard to keep it calm, straining her throat. She nervously
adjusted the collar on her coat. "I need your help to decide something."
      "Me?" Tatewaki paused, intrigued by the strange statement. Why would
anyone desire his help for anything? "What for?"
      "To decide whether to report you to the police for arson and for
endangering my sister's life."

* * * *

      For a few minutes, Nabiki stared at the textbook, nothing registering
from the pages into her mind. She should just call the studying quits and
concentrate on what was really on her mind, as close to her as it was.
Kasumi's question yesterday had really shaken Nabiki up and just thinking
about it made her shift anxiously, slightly in her bed. Why had she
protected Kuno? Why? Because he needed help and it was the practical thing
to do? No, there was something much deeper, more selfish than that emotion
of stupid caring, something that caused her a little pain just thinking
about it.
      "Life's just so hard to figure out, sometimes," she said quietly to
no-one inparticular, "and there was me thinking I'd understood it fluently."
      For a few moments, she let the silence enfold her as she stared up at
the painted white ceiling in the very white room.  She leaned her head on
her arms as she folded them behind her back, closing her eyes to the shafts
of sunlight swirling through the room. The hospital disappeared and Nabiki
imagined herself lying in a sunny field, letting the rays drape over her
serene body, taking in deep breaths to soften the stress that tightened her
tense heart further and further each day. This was how life should be....
      "Nabiki."
       She opened her eyes and the field disappeared as reality came
crashing back down, again. She slipped her hands back from behind her head
and folded them neatly across her chest. A few feet away from her, once
Nabiki focused her eyes, she saw her younger sister staring angrily at her.
A lazy smile appeared across her face as she observed with amusement in
Akane the conflict between anger and hesitation. Akane still couldn't be
angry at Nabiki for the cold shoulder she gave her, could she? That just
wasn't like Akane, she didn't hold grudges. But this one did seem ready for
a confrontation.
       "Hey, Akane," she finally answered, "shouldn't you be in school? And
what's with the face?"
       Akane's eyes went wide as her tense body dropped its defences in
surprise. "What? They haven't told you?"
       "Told me what?" Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong, Akane?
Really."
       "They haven't told you about me?"
       "Then tell me, already," Nabiki replied in a low, quiet voice, in no
mood for her sister's outburst.
       Akane abruptly broke eye contact with her and snapped her head to the
side, her teeth clenched and her eyes fiery. "They haven't talked about how
much I _hate_ them and how much I _hate_ you!!" Her fists balled up and she
dug her nails into her palms, threatening to break the surface of her skin..
       "What? What are you talking about, Akane?!" Nabiki's calmness
collapsed to the ground as Akane's words both confused her and scraped at
her hard heart. "Why do you hate me?" Was it anything to do with Kuno? It
couldn't be, because then Akane would just be angry at her and Kuno, and
no-one else.
       "Nobody's cared enough to guess why, have they?" Her younger sister
looked hurt for a moment, breaking through her fierce face. For a moment, a
deep sadness filtered through her narrow, averted eyes. This only sparked
Nabiki's curiosity.
        "Guessed what? Akane, look, I deserve to know why you're treating me
like this, why you claim to _hate_ me."
        "Who are you to talk?" Akane pointed sternly at Nabiki, her whole
hand trembling. "You didn't think that I had a right to know about Mom's
secret! None of you did!"
        Nabiki's impatient words died in her throat and her mouth stayed
wide open, unsure of what to say. A cold shiver shimmered down her spine as
she realised what had happened, how everything she had tried so hard to
protect people from had fallen to pieces, shattering. This wasn't supposed
to happen, this wasn't. Her eyes looked down, lies lying so heavily on her
eyelids. What could happen next?
        A muffled cough was cast through the tension. "Tendo-san?" Nabiki
looked up to see Nurse  Chigusa standing at the door, looking more than
uncomfortable with being here. "Should I come back later to tell you about
Mr. Kuno's status?"
       "Kuno?" a bemused Akane asked.
       "No, it's all right," Nabiki said calmly, secretly holding a feeling
that what the nurse was going to say wasn't going to help her mood at all.
But it had to better than Akane's outburst, it had to be. She couldn't take
much more. "Come on in. It's just me and my sister, that's all."
       The nurse wandered in further, her footsteps tapping in the
deliberate silence. Nabiki smiled casually at the nurse to try and avert her
suspicions.
      "So, what about him?"
      "Well, he's looking a bit better than yesterday," the nurse spoke
slowly, wary of the look Akane gave Nabiki. "Still quite thin and pale but
he's a lot more lucid and the doctors hope that he'll be able to start
eating solid food in a few days."
      "Well, I guess it's somethin'." Nabiki had been wishing for something
more to halt her anxiety but she told herself that at least he wasn't
getting worse. "Thanks."
      "Oh, that's not all," Chigusa interrupted, her face brightening. "He
had a visitor today, came just as I was leaving. Quite a nice, young woman."
      "Who?" Nabiki questioned in a casual, may-as-well-ask, tone of voice.
The visitor better not be Kasumi; there's no way Kuno could cope with any
guilt trips right now.
       "I don't know and, plus, she had long hair tied just like mine down
the front... but she was younger and prettier than me.... The male doctors
took quite an interest," she sighed sadly, turning away from a disappointed
Nabiki as she headed back out of the room, obviously having one male doctor
in mind.
       Nabiki silently cursed to herself, looking at the door and then at a
puzzled Akane. She had to help Kuno in case Kasumi unwittingly pushed out
any sanity he happened to have left. But, then there was her little sister,
her hurt, angry sister who would not take well to be walked - well,
wheelchaired - out on. Oh! What the hell was she to do?! What could she do?
      "Akane," she spoke out softly, fixing eyes with her sister. If she
could just find a way to tame her sister with as few words as possible.
"Akane, I-"
      The door burst open and Kasumi rushed in, her long, dark hair trailing
behind her. She headed straight towards Nabiki, not noticing Akane as her
wide, panicked eyes fixed on the middle sister.
      "Kasumi?" Nabiki queried. What could Kuno have told her?
      "I went to see Kuno, I'm sorry for that," she chattered nervously,
leaning over closer to her sister, "and it seems that Akane came back a day
early and left the hospital looking sad and upset and that was on the day
that we talked about Mom. And now, she's really resentful and unhappy and,
oh Nabiki, I think she heard us, she heard us and now she knows. What shall
we do?!"
      "I don't know, what will you do?" Akane asked bitterly. "Tell me why
you lied, perhaps?"
      Kasumi immediately straightened up, the shock like a rod down her
back. She spun around to see what she already knew of: her sister. "Akane,
when did you...? When?!" She suddenly slumped into a plastic seat near
Nabiki's bed, breathing heavily, and held a hand to her lurching, tossing
heart.
      "What you said, remember?" Akane glanced over at the upset Kasumi, her
angry face melting for a few seconds into one of concern. She noticed that
Nabiki was watching her and so hardened it, accordingly.
      "I'm s-sorry, Akane-chan," Kasumi stuttered, tears forming in her
crinkled eyes. "It wasn't meant to be this way."
     Akane's deep eyes showed her obvious disturbance at Kasumi's state but
yet she continued to press on with issue of betrayal, almost torn on what to
say. "I th-think that I... that I deserve an explanation about why everyone
knew but me!"
     Nabiki looked at Akane, fuming, and at Kasumi, about to cry, and
couldn't help thinking that this wasn't going to be her week, never mind her
day. This was going to take a long time to resolve, and she hoped that Kuno
wasn't too affected by whatever Kasumi had said to him and probably asked of
him. She hoped more than she ever would admit.

End of chapter 10...
Well, another chapter done, and X more chapters to go! A lovely mess left
over for the next chapter or two to try and clean up. _Try_ to, that is. ^_^
C&C very much welcome, as always.
Oh, and to my new pre-reader, if I've accidentally offended you in some way,
I'm
sorry. :)