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First draft of fourth fanfic - Episode 3 of the Alternate Timeline Series:

Episode 1:  Murphy's Law
Episode 2:  Battle Chess

Episode 3:  Double Trouble

By Andy Searls

Characters are creations of Rumiko Takahashi

"spoken lines" - Japanese
<spoken lines> - Chinese
*thoughts*
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Prologue

Ranma sighed as he moved the mouse and clicked the button.  Slowly, the list
appeared on the screen.  A fan stirred the lazy air around the computer lab
at the Furinkan High School.  The sound of several computer fans filled the
room with white noise.  Ranma turned to Nabiki.  "Are they always this
slow?"

Nabiki looked over at Ranma's screen.  "Not always, but the school
connection isn't the fastest in the world.  Are you finding anything?"

Ranma sighed again.  "I dunno.  I keep getting these lists that don't say
much about where they go."

Nabiki rolled her chair to get a better look.  "You're still just going
through the Yahoo search?"

"Even if I did find something, what do I do to check it out?"

"Just click on the underlined words.  See where the pointer turns into a
hand?"

"Yeah.  Too bad there ain't no martial arts web surfing or somethin'.  I'd
be able to figure this out more quickly."  He scrolled the list down and
squinted at an entry.  "What does three X's mean?"

Nabiki giggled.  "That's a hentai / ecchi site.  Is that what you're looking
for?  Geeze, Ranma, you think you'd be getting enough of that around here."

"I ain't done none of that stuff!"

"Don't tell me you don't like girls."

"It's not like that."  Ranma paused.

Nabiki looked at him, waiting for a few seconds.  "Yes?"

Ranma blinked.  "You're actually gonna listen to me?"

It was Nabiki's turn to blink.  "Well, it sounded like you were going to
explain."

"Well, it's just that every time I start to explain somethin', I get
interrupted.  Even when I can explain, nobody believes me anyway."

Nabiki folded her arms.  "Well, I'm listening."

Ranma thought about a way to get his point across.  "What's you favorite
food?"

Nabiki leaned back in her chair.  "That's easy, chocolate."

"What if you had a bunch of people trying to shove chocolate down your
throat all the time."

"Wouldn't that be nice."

"Until you got sick."

"That'd take a while."

"If you had to eat all this chocolate every day, it wouldn't take long."

"So, what you're saying is that you don't like having girls all over you all
the time.  I know a lot of guys that would pay me to take your place."

"Maybe for a while, but you can't even talk to one of them without the other
girls gettin' all angry.  I don't mind fighting Kuno and Ryoga much, but I
don't like to hit girls."

"Oh, having girls fight over you must be oh so terrible."

Ranma leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.  "That's not how it is."

Nabiki leveled a predatory gaze at him.  "Oh really.  Tell me how it is,
then."

Ranma thought a bit before answering.  "Remember how Akane met P-Chan a
couple a' days ago?"

Nabiki nodded.

"Well, you don't know the half of it..."

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Chapter 1

Ranma was walking home from school.  As usual, he followed Akane to the
Tendo home from the top of the fence.  Akane marched at her own pace, not
even looking in the general direction of the fence.  Ranma picked up his
pace to catch up with Akane.  "Yo, Akane, wait up."

Akane did not slow or turn, but yelled over her shoulder.  "I have nothing
to say to you, Ranma!"

Ranma jumped down from the fence, landing in front of Akane.  "Will ya' just
list-"

"No!  You can just go home with that hussy for all I care!"  Akane did not
slow down, walking around Ranma without missing a step.

Ranma wrinkled his nose.  "Go home with Kuno Kodachi?  Are you nuts?!"

"Why not?  She's pretty enough!  She sure got your attention during lunch!"

"I didn't ask her ta-"

"Oh, Ranma, my darling!"  Akane said, trying to imitate Kodachi's voice.  "I
am so glad to meet such an adorable man!  Watch for me at the rhythmic
gymnastics competition!"

"I don't even know what she's talkin'-"

"Why was she so familiar with you, Ranma?!  She couldn't keep her hands off
you!"

"But Akane, I-"

"Just leave me alone, you baka!"  Akane ran off towards home.  Ranma looked
down the direction she had gone, sadly shaking his head.

"SAOTOME!"  Without even looking, Ranma stepped out of Ryoga's strike.
Pieces of sidewalk and rocks pelted the two young men as Ryoga's umbrella
impacted with the ground.

Ranma sighed.  "Geeze, Ryoga.  I ain't a Saotome, and I don't wanna fight.
Didn't you get enough when you beat me last month?"

Ryoga hefted his umbrella out of the crater.  "Not after I heard what you
did to Akane today!"

"What do you know about what happened at school?"

"Never mind how I know.  How dare you hurt her feelings like that!"

Ranma folded his arms, ignoring Ryoga's threatening stance.  "Why do you
care about Akane?  Are you jealous?"

Ryoga's face turned red.  "Never mind how I feel about Akane!  I've come to
pay you back for hurting her!"  Ryoga opened his umbrella and threw it at
Ranma.  Ranma dodged the umbrella and landed a kick in Ryoga's stomach.
Ryoga fell over onto the ground.  Ranma looked behind himself in time to
dodge the umbrella as it circled back.

Ryoga got up as the umbrella landed beside him.  "Your little kicks can't
hurt me, remember?"

Ranma opened his mouth to reply when a splash of water landed on Ryoga.
Beside him was a little old lady, who was splashing water onto the sidewalk.
Ranma watched Ryoga disappear, his clothes and backpack falling to the
ground.  He knelt for a closer look, carefully avoiding the water splashes,
as something began to rustle in the pile of yellow and black material.  His
eyes opened wide as a small, black piglet worked its way clear of the shirt
and bweed angrily.  The piglet wore a collar that was strikingly similar to
the headband that Ryoga wore.  Ranma chuckled and picked Ryoga up by the
collar.  "Spring of drowned piglet, ne?"  The piglet squealed and shook it's
paws, trying to swing at Ranma's face.  "Oh, you are _so_ dangerous as a
pig."  Ranma stood, backing away from the old woman.  "Well, I'd stay and
chat, but I've got an errand to run for Ukyo.  I also gotta have a talk with
Akane.  Besides..."  Ranma disdainfully dropped Ryoga back onto the pile of
clothing.  "...this little piggy shoulda' stayed home."

Ryoga shivered with anger as Ranma chuckled and walked away.  He growled as
only a little piglet could.

  **  **  **

Ranma walked up the stairs at U-chan's, still thinking of the significance
of Ryoga turning into a piglet.  *I wonder what Ukyo would think about
that?*  he thought, opening the door to her room.  He heard a gasp and
looked up to see a partially clothed Ukyo.  He squeaked out a "Gomen" and
quickly shut the door.  He could hear his heart thump as he went into his
bedroom.  *What was I thinking?  I didn't even knock!*

A couple of minutes later, Ukyo knocked on his door.  "Come in," Ranma said.

Ukyo opened the door, peeking in as Ranma hung his head.  She stepped up to
Ranma, holding his hands.  "Ranma, don't worry about it, just knock next
time."

Ranma looked down at his hands in hers and felt his face get warm.  He
pulled his hands away.  "I don't know what I'm gonna do, Ukyo."

Ukyo put her hand on Ranma's shoulder, noticing that he blushed again at her
touch.  "Did something happen at school?"

Ranma nodded.  "Akane got jealous again."

"What did you do?"

"I found this chick that was beating up on some of my classmates.  I told
her to leave them alone, and the next thing I know, we're fighting.  She had
these weird weapons, and she was pretty good with them, but she didn't have
any speed."

Ukyo nodded.  She couldn't think of anyone she knew who could even come
close to Ranma's speed, even without his chestnuts on a roasting fire
technique.

"I tried not to hurt her, but I threw one of her clubs back to her and it
hit her on the knee.  She fell down, and I kinda felt sorry for hitting her.
I asked her if she was okay, and she looks at me and glomps me."

"Another girlfriend?"  Ukyo folded her arms in mock anger.  "Really Ranma,
you need to get that ego back under control."

Ranma shuddered.  "Ugh, this one was nuts."

Ukyo blinked.  "Like how?"

"Like she's got this insane laugh.  She calls herself the black petunia or
something, and she spreads the stupid black flower petals wherever she
goes."

"So, when did Akane come in?"

"Right when this Kodachi chick glomped me.  I didn't even have time to push
her away when Akane stepped up and slapped me."

Ukyo sighed.  "Ranma, sugar, why are you hanging around someone who hits you
without giving you a chance to say a thing?"

Ranma looked down at the floor.  "Remember when she first found me here?
She was shuffling like her feet hurt."

"Ranma, honey, talk sense."

Ranma looked up.  "She's a really nice person, most of the time.  She went
through a lot to apologize to me.  She can be really nice."

"She just has a short temper."

Ranma sighed.  "I want to go talk to her."

Ukyo shrugged.  "Well, I'm not your mother.  Just be back in time to help me
with the evening rush."

  **  **  **

Ranma paused a moment at the front gate to the Tendo home.  Now that Akane
had some time to cool off, she would listen to him.  He would tell her that
he wanted nothing to do with Kodachi and her insta-love, especially if the
rumors about her using drugs on her opponents were true.  He shivered at the
thought.  All the martial arts in the world couldn't help you if you were
unconscious or couldn't move.  *Why do I always attract the crazy ones?* he
thought for a moment.  *Xian Pu was a bit off center, but she was just
determined.  Kodachi is just plain nuts.*  He opened the front gate and
walked down the rock path to the front door.

Kasumi answered the door when he knocked.  "Oh, Ranma.  Come on in.  Akane
is in the dining room."

Ranma thanked Kasumi and walked down the hallway.  As he neared the dining
room, he could hear Akane's voice.  She was speaking in calm, soothing
tones.  Ranma stepped into the doorway to the dining room to see Akane
sitting at the table.  She was holding a little black piglet up to her
chest, feeding it rice from a bowl.  She was so absorbed in the little
animal that Ranma felt sheepish interrupting her.  "Um, Akane."

Akane smiled up to him.  "Oh, hi Ranma.  Look what I found.  I was shopping
for food for Kasumi, and I nearly tripped over him.  Isn't he cute?"  She
held the piglet up for Ranma to see.

The piglet shivered and bweed angrily.  Ranma saw the yellow bandanna around
the piglet's neck.  "Ryoga!"  Ranma yelled, snatching the piglet out of
Akane's hands.  "What the hell are you doing?!"  The piglet writhed and
swung its paws to get out of Ranma's grasp.

Akane stood up.  "Hey, what are you doing to P-Chan?!"

Ranma blinked at Akane.  "Who the heck is P-Chan?  And why are you feeding
Ryoga like that?"

Akane blinked.  "Ryoga?  Where is Ryoga?"

Ranma held the piglet at arm's length.  "He's right here."

Akane blinked again.  "P-Chan?  Ranma, it's a little piglet.  How can P-Chan
be Ryoga?"

"Because he-OW!"  P-Chan bit Ranma's hand.  Ranma smacked the pig with his
free hand, sending it to the floor.

"Ranma no baka!"  Akane slapped Ranma across the face.  "Don't pick on my
little P-Chan!"

"He's not P-Chan, he's Ryo-ooof!"  P-Chan leapt into Ranma's stomach,
catching him off-guard.  Ranma stepped back to keep his balance, hefting the
piglet to throw it.

Akane grabbed the pig with one hand and punched Ranma with the other.
"Don't you treat my P-Chan like that!"

Ranma flew out the door and landed in the pond.  After a few seconds, an
angry red-head slowly stood up.  She glared back into the house.  "Ok, fine.
Get all snugly with Ryoga then.  See if I care."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ranma, but if Ryoga is half as
smart as you, I'd feed him dinner anytime!  Do you hear me, Ranma?!"

Ranma didn't listen.  She marched straight out the front gate and headed
home.

Akane gently picked P-Chan up.  "Now what was he babbling about?"  It almost
looked like the piglet shrugged his shoulders.

  **  **  **

"Wait a minute,"  Nabiki said, holding her hand on Ranma's shoulder.
"You're telling me that Ryoga _is_ P-Chan?"

Ranma nodded.  "He was in Jusenkyo .  Spring of drowned piglet."

Nabiki leaned back in her chair.  "This sets up some interesting
possibilities.  I also have some information that you would be interested in
knowing."

"Yeah, what?"

Nabiki put her hand out.  "1000 yen."

Ranma blinked.  "What?"

"I have information I know you're interested in.  To find out what it is,
you need 1000 yen."

"You're charging me to tell me something?  You didn't charge me to help me
with my assignment."

"That was because I was already here in the computer lab.  Telling you this
information is going out of my way, and it's going to cost you."

"What makes you think I care about what you know?"

"The price just went up to 2000 yen."

Ranma tried to study Nabiki's expressionless face, then growled as he dug
into his backpack.  He handed over a couple of bills.  The money disappeared
and Nabiki smiled.  "P-Chan is not only Akane's new pet.  She's been
sleeping with him on her pillow the past couple nights."

Ranma banged his hand on the mouse.  "Why did you tell me that?"

Nabiki smiled.  "You paid me to."

"You.....you....you..."  Ranma stammered.  His jaw was still moving, but
only whimpers were coming out.

Nabiki blinked, realizing that Ranma was looking back at the computer
screen.  She leaned over and read the web page title aloud, "Jusenkyo  FAQ
Home Page."  She read it again.  The title was in English, but the text was
in Chinese.  The two of them stared at the display for several seconds
before Nabiki managed to say, "How did you find this?"  Ranma shrugged.
Nabiki looked back to the monitor.  "I guess you really can find anything on
the Web."

Ranma clicked on the Japanese flag, and the page re-loaded with Japanese
text.  He scrolled down and stared at a link:  "Are there any cures?".
Nabiki silently watched him click on the link and read the next page that
loaded.

After a few minutes of intense reading, Ranma turned to Nabiki.  "Is there
any way to get this stuff on paper?"

  **  **  **

The old store clerk didn't look up at first when he heard the door open.  He
was content to allow the potential customer to browse the selection.  Too
much pressure never closed a sale.  Instead, he casually pretended to
straighten some of the antique clocks on the shelf behind the counter.

"Um, excuse me."

The clerk turned and looked over the counter at the young man.  "May I help
you?"

Ranma held up a piece of paper.  "Yeah, I'm looking for this."

The clerk looked down at the paper.  It was a computer printout.  The
portion Ranma pointed to was describing some sort of old formula.  "Hmm, I
don't know that much about that kind of thing.  The cherry blossoms should
be easy to come by.  Not sure about this other stuff."

Ranma sighed.  "Do you know anywhere I might be able to find out about the
other stuff?"

The old man thought for a moment, chewing on the tip of a pencil.  "You
might try a place I've seen once or twice.  It's called 'Little China Herbal
Shop'.  They have all sorts of powders and oils there."

"Great, where are they?"

"A couple blocks from Shinjuku station.  Across the street from the Pizza
Hut."

Ranma called out over his shoulder as he ran out the store, "Thanks a lot!"

The old man chuckled, watching the young man run down the street.  "Kids and
fireworks."

  **  **  **

The Pizza Hut was easy to find.  The herbal shop was tucked into a small
alcove, almost hidden in a dark alley.  Ranma could smell the incense before
he reached the door.  He stopped for a moment in the doorway to give his
eyes a chance to adjust to the darkness.  He looked around at the shelves of
baskets and bags, each nearly full with different colored powders and
grains.  Herbs hung from the ceiling.  He almost couldn't pick out the old
woman, whose clothes were the same rough brown cloth that many of the sacks
and bags were made of.  The old woman shuffled towards him.  "What are you
looking for, young man?"

Ranma silently held the paper for the woman to see.  She read the paper
silently, then looked back at him.  "Do you know what this could do to you?"

Ranma nodded.  "I hope so."

The woman studied him.  "Why do you want to mess with dangerous things like
this?"

"Ever heard of Jusenkyo?"

The woman shrugged.  "I've heard that there are training grounds for martial
artists there.  Are you a martial artist?"

Ranma nodded.

The woman sighed.  "Well, I guess you know how to deal with danger then."
She looked back down at the paper.  "I think I might have most of this stuff
around here."

Ranma followed the old woman around the shop, trying to keep his patience.
She would shuffle over to a shelf and pull a small bag out of a nook before
filling it with a handful or two of some powder or other.  She would slowly
tie each bag shut with short leather straps before handing it to Ranma.
After he had a number of bags in his arms, she stopped and picked up a
basket for him to carry them in.  Finally, she shuffled over to a small
table, handing Ranma's paper back to him.  "I was able to find most of the
ingredients on your recipe here.  The cherry blossoms are in bloom, so you
can get those just about anywhere for free."

Ranma looked at the basket of bags.  There were more of them than he thought
there would be.  He didn't give a real close look to the different materials
listed on the web page, but now he was beginning to wonder how much trouble
this cure was going to be.

The woman spoke again.  "There was one thing I know I don't have here.  I
don't think you can get it at any store.  At least not here in Japan."

Ranma sighed.  "Oh great, how am I going to get this to work then?"

"I didn't say you won't be able to get it.  I just said you won't be able to
buy it."


-Andy Searls
  graduate, Borg Institute of Technology

If violence is not solving your
problems you're just not using enough of it.
     -Misato

/********************************************
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
********************************************/

http://www.jps.net/searlsa