At 02:03 PM 11/5/98 -0700, you wrote:
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Title: Nabiki - New Horizons Chapter 17 - Revelations
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Continuation / Original Flavor
Author: G.L. Sandborn
Email: sandborn@microlink.net
Homepage: www.microlink.net/~sandborn
Date Sent to FFML: 10/10/98
Size: 100K
Summary:
After getting Ranma and Akane married and confronting the Grand
Council of Shinobi Elders, Nabiki has one more task to preform before
returning home. In the mean time, Sodoshi's illness causes Jeff to
panic - what would his wife, Nabiki, say? He learns a hard lesson in
parenting. Meanwhile, Akane thinks she has Ranma's agreement for her
to teach in the dojo. She's wrong. In the ensuing altercation, Ranma
escapes his wife only to be ambushed by the Chinese Amazons and
captured. Nabiki searches for Master Sato to correct a great wrong
and discovers what it is to be a gaijin AND an elder of a rival clan.
{Paul}
Hmm. Perhaps I should clarify an earlier statement. By
"otaku-insertion", I mean that there are names in this fic you'll
recognize. Not that they have anything to do with their namesakes'
real-life personalities, or that they're powerful, merely that
they're there. And you'll see at least two. Continuing... Hmm. This
story has an uncanny knack for fluctuating back and forth between
sitcom reality, Tahakashi reality, and "real" reality, as though it
can't decide whether to be serious, comically exaggerated, or just
plain cliched. I'm not used to tone changes in the middle of
chapters, that's all; my mind suddenly has to switch gears and it
takes a few paragraphs before I start or stop taking things
seriously. Otherwise, nice unspooling of prior plot threads... when
will it all end?... and solid writing overall. But I can only give
it 12 or 13 out of 20 because, as I said, the chapter changed tones
abruptly a few too many times for my liking.
{Helen}
Even though I rarely read Ranma fics (personal preference... there
are just sooooo many!), I found that Nabiki - New Horizons was
something that captured my attention and held it. Firmly. It's not
just the run of the mill New Character story.. although, after 17
chapters, the characters have been fleshed out...and the various
cameos... ^_^;;
It is a very well written story; managing to capture an aspect of
Nabiki that some few others have tried to write about. Even as
Nabiki moves towards establishing her own future, we see various
facets of her past move to the forefront; not to 'haunt' her per se,
but to aid her as skills.. especially her iron nerves and
'negotiation' skills. ^^
{Shunsuke}
YEEEEEHAH! Been waitin' for this! (And open apologies to the
author for last time, I called the series a self-insert; he gave
me thirty whacks over the head with a bokken for that gaff.)
Some chapters have overdone it on the clan stuff, but not this one.
Lacking in the violence department, this is much more emotionally
based and it works well. The characterizations range from pained
(Sato) to insane (the nun with the sportscar sounds like one of the
characters from the "Brides of Christ" miniseries), with a lot in
between. The big surprise I found, though, was what the China gang
end up doing to Ranma; I thought Akane chasing Ranma was going to
be their form of foreplay (a la the Klingons).
Oh - and the guy was right, they are a freaky family, but in a
good way.
First of all, please extend my appreciation to all your fellow
reviewers for their time and efforts in reading and commenting on my
story. Their organized and thoughtful comments are much appreciated.
Paul is quite right in that I shift emotional intensity quite
often. I've always tried to keep this series from becoming too serious
and ending up a darkfic. Combining 'real life' seriousness with the
slapstick of Takahashi has always been a tough struggle and I've not
always been successful. I'm still learning where the limits of my
writing are and humbly accept the impressions of my readers as they
are the best barometer as to how well I've been able to touch the
emotions that are so important in this series.
Part of the problem is that I tend to write like a screenwriter.
I want each section of the chapter to be a distinct and separate scene
that, while based on previous scenes, stands on its own and should be
accepted as such. I use the 'lighter' scenes as a chance for the reader
to decompress from the earlier intense scenes so that when the next
serious scene occurs, it can have the desired impact. If I started
serious and never allowed the reader this time to restablilze himself
before the next, I would have to resort to something *really* dark to
have the same effect on the reader.
Don't worry about the 'self-insertion' comment. I knew the
dangers of writing a type of new character like Jeff Lawrence when
I started. I've even 'tweaked' the critics of SI stories by writing
him just close enough to a SI character to irritate them. You're
quite right in that ANY new character will be suspect, regardless of
how he or she is portrayed. Nothing can change that. But I've used
Jeff for over 20 years as a protagonist in my stories and know the
character very well. I've always imagined a young James Garner when
I write his dialog or actions and hope the reader gets a 'familiar'
feeling about him.
At one point, I even tried to portray Jeff as a READER self-
insertion character; one where the reader could visualize himself
as Jeff Lawrence, with all the strengths and weaknesses that make
for a good fiction character, and allow the reader to live his life
vicariously through Jeff. To me, that is the best kind of fiction -
one where the reader is not just a passive observer but a willing
participant in the story.
I write all my characters based on people I've seen or known.
Sgt. Fujimoto is based on the Sgt Garcia from the old Zorro TV
series. Rachel Magnum is based on one of the Foxes that lived with
me for five years. Dr. Stanley Wiseman is based on a real physician
I've come to know very well over the last 25 years. So, I've drawn
my characters from many sources. (And, yes, I've even written
myself into the story as one of the characters but only my closest
friends have been able to spot our similar personalities and
mannerisms.)
Helen got Nabiki right when she said that Nabiki has matured
and changed over the life of the story. Above all else, I've wanted
her to grow as she faced the harsh realities of life while maintaining
the basic elements that made her the easily recognizable character that
Takahashi created. She will continue to grow as she ages and her
challenges change. She'll even encounter the physical problems that
middle age inflict on all humans. Rest assured, she won't go quietly.
Once again, thank you for your efforts. I appreciate the
honesty of your group and look forward to their comments.
- Greg
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G.L. Sandborn [aka Uncle Fester]
Home on the range at: sandborn@microlink.net
sandborn@burnsmcd.com
All my stories can be found at:
http://www.microlink.net/~sandborn/
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