RpM and Biles wrote:

Satisfied, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I am Ritsuko Akagi.  I am Ritsuko Akagi.  I am Ritsuko
Akagi."

She took one more breath, then gave her reflection an
intense stare.

"I mustn't forget."

And then she held up the syringe of opalescent viridian liquid...

Ohh. Like the opening. Definitely creepy. 

And suddenly, the rest of world seemed out of phase, as Rei
slowly turned towards him.  He tried to look away,
desperately, as if his life depended on it.  His heart began
pounding, hands trembling, as her one red eye slowly locked
with his.  Blood rushed through his eardrums in a roar and
he felt himself chilled to his very soul.

And then the bell rang, Rei looked away once more, and
Shinji found himself with a massive feeling of
disorientation.  Shaking his head and blinking, he took a
seat.

Oh yes. There's something REALLY different about this version of Rei.

"Stand!  Bow!  Sit!"

The class followed along, as was custom, greeting the
teacher.

"Class, we have a new student today," said the elderly man.
"Transfer student Shinji Ikari."

"Um, hi."

And with that fairly embarrassing moment taken care of,

Heh. That's just so...real. Probably isn't a soul that hasn't gone through
that particular embarrassment.

She walked.

Cicidas were immediately silenced and ceased all movement.
Birds stopped in their singing and immediately took flight.
Squirrels scattered away in droves.  No mosquitos drew blood
from her, nor did they seem to be anywhere near her.

This was Rei Ayanami.

Enigmatic.

Silent.

Sneezing.

*achoo*

hehe. Still a little bit of humor here.

She stopped, rubbed her nose, blinked, and gazed at the
general direction of one Aida Kensuke. 

                            -*-

"Didja feel that?"

"Feel what?" asked Shinji.

"Felt like a cold breeze or something."  Kensuke rubbed his
arms a bit, trying to warm up. 

Maybe not so funny. Managed to make it creepy now. Nice job.

for her."  
          
                            -*-


     Ritsuko read over the lab report and frowned.  Another 
failure.  If only the Human Genome Project had not been 
disrupted by the Second Impact and its consequences.  If only 
Crowley had finished his researches.  If only the experiment in 
Germany had not ended so horribly.  We should have known 
better, she thought.  The first recorded experiment of that type 
had failed horribly as well.  Still, it had held so much 
potential.

     Instead, we are stuck with mere children as pilots, two 
of them potentially uncontrollable and a third one...She 
shuddered.  That experiment had gone too well.  She reminded 
Ritsuko too much of her own mother and of her old rival.  There 
was something...It was 

Should the 'It' be capitalized? I'm not sure.

what they had wanted.  But sometimes, 
the gods destroy people by giving them what they want. 

Especially the Old Ones. 

     "A failed experiment.  Is it time for more synchronization 
tests already?"

     "I've been looking for you for ten minutes."  Some would 
have chided, but with Maya, it was just a statement of fact.  
Likely, she had enjoyed the hunt.  "Shinji doesn't seem to be too 
happy about getting into the LCL."

Try breathing in something that's akin to motor oil and see how happy you
are. 

     Rei was simply too serene; indeed, she had her eyes 
closed.  Not that you could have seen one of them through the 
bandage.  Indeed, he was somewhat glad he couldn't see either 

Too 'indeed's are pretty close together. Might want to change one of them.
No biggie, though.

     "She sure knows her way around the place.  And..does she 
know martial arts?"

A little Anything Goes with some Okonomyaki and Amazon techniques thrown
in. Nothing too useful though.

     Misato paused in the middle of trying to decide if she 
wanted Sapporo, Guiness, or Mad Dog #3. 

When in doubt, drink all three. 

"Martial arts?"

     "She used some weird move on Touji when he tried to 
clobber me.  Grabbed his arm and he couldn't do anything."  
Shinji finished off his ramen and made a quick mental prayer 
to something (what he was praying to, he didn't know) that 
Misato would learn to cook.

     "She's been trained in unarmed combat, but nothing like 
special nerve pinches or the like.  I wish we knew anything like 
that which actually worked."  She looked over at Shinji 
contemplatively.  "We need to start training you as well.   
Heaven only knows how many of these Angels are going to show 
up."

Yes. Heaven probably would know. Intentional wording there?

     "Are they really aliens?"

     "They're not from this Earth, whatever they are."  Misato 
shrugged.  "I'm sure Ritsuko could tell you more, but you 
probably wouldn't understand any of it."

     Shinji nodded.  "Well, time for me to do my math 
homework."  He sighed and got up.  "I don't suppose you're good 
at math?"

     "Nope."  She stretched.  "I think I'll watch Baywatch 
Generation 2 now."  

AHHHHHH!!!! You are evil, evil men! ^_^

     She felt something, something new.  Like she was being 
watched.  Looking around, she saw nothing.  Just a rat staring 
at her.  Wherever humans go, you go too, she thought.  

Ah. More rats. Perhaps a prelude to the next Angel? A Lovecraftain Willard
would work for me.

     Rei had no idea what, exactly, one was supposed to
do when a small creature was as close as this rat was. 

Then she had remembered watching the Pre-Second Impact footage of a concert
of some singer the night before. He had had a small creature on stage with
him. What was he had done with that bat? Oh, that's right.

She grabbed the rat and bit its head off.

"Needs salt" Rei thought. Still, Mr. Osborne's idea hadn't seemed all that
bad.


(Sorry. Came across an autobiography on Ozzy the other night. Couldn't get
the image out of my head. Feel free to flame me. ^_^)


 >She

had no experience with this sort of thing.  No creature
aside from man ever approached her, yet this rat stood
before her, looking at her curiously.  She found this very
curious.

The two 'curious/ly' s are a little close together. Perhaps changing one
would make it seem less awakward. 

     "Did you say something?"

     "...coming back..." she muttered along with garbled, half-
human noises.  Her body had been placid.  Now it began to jerk 
about and thrash.  "The stars...the stars are moving.  He's 
calling them.  They call him.  No!  MAKE IT STOP!"  Only his grip 
on her hand was keeping her on the bed.  

Ohh. I like it. It just has that H.P. feel to it.

     "Nurse!  NURSE!" he shouted.  

     He finally left after he started hearing squeaking noises, 
but not seeing anything.  Must be fatigue, he thought.
 

Yep. Rats next.

                            -*-

     It wasn't every day that someone dropped a dead rat on 
Gendo Ikari's desk.  His second in command sat down on the 
other side of the desk.  "Another one."

     Gendo frowned.  "More of those fools.  Again."

     "The rats really don't have much choice in the matter."

     Clasping his hands together under his chin, Gendo said, 
"Very funny.  You know what I mean."

     "Not really.  I understand the basic principle, but there's 
still a wide range of possibilities."  He stared at the rat.  "Or 
do you recognize it?"

     Gendo picked up the rat with one hand, staring intently at 
its face, which was disturbingly human-like. 

Another nice touch. Unless there's something more than it merely appearing
like a human.

"How freshly 
dead is it?"

     "About ten minutes or so."

     "Not too late to find out, then."

                            -*-

     She consulted the chart a fourth time.  It was best to be 
sure that everything was coming into place before striking.  A 
lock of orange-brown hair fell down between her eyes, but she 
brushed it aside.  Her hair had always been unruly; it seemed to be
getting out of place even worse lately.  The chart gave her the 
results she had been hoping for.

     It was time; the Return had begun.  They would awake and 
she and her followers would be ready.  Ready to worship and 
serve them as...a thought troubled her, a thought of a time 
when she had not sought to serve them but to prevent that 
return.  She brushed it aside.  She had no more time for 
childish weakness, the squeamishness that had held her back 
for so long.  

     Yet, even the stars could not be left to do all the work.  
And the rivalries of the great ones...there would be wars.  
Takeo had told her that NERV posed a threat.  She had not 
believed it until they had learned.  One of the Great Ones was 
dead.  She had not believed it possible, but what she had seen 
through her...the shock suddenly hit her.   He was dead.  Dead.  
Shot by a soldier.  A soldier of NERV.  

        They would pay, pay in full.  There would be a reckoning.  
Takeo was right; they would drown, drown in blood, a sacrifice 
to open the way for the one to whom they had sworn the 
Unspeakable Oath.  The Stars were Right. 

Should 'Right' be capatalized there?

She and her allies 
would see to that.

And the plot thickens. Excellent work. As always. You are still maintaining
just the right mix of EVA and Lovecraft, and as you said, things are only
bound to get worse. I'm already chomping on the bit to read more.


D.B. Sommer