Dies Irae

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic by Alan Harnum - harnums@hotmail.com

Yay!

'And the fourth angel poured out his vial upon the sun; and power
was given unto him to scorch men with fire.'

I STILL want to know where you come up with these quotes....

    This is Tokyo.  See how she is fallen.  See how her towers
are reduced to twisted girders rimmed with blackened stone,
skeletons standing barren to the wind.  See how the dust blows
through her streets, past shattered hulks of train cars and
shards of glass strewn like fallen snow through the cracked
streets.

Good image.  Kinda reminds me of some scenes from Terminator immediately
after the "cleansing."

Amongst those ruins, perhaps the eye will catch upon a spot of
red, a tattered piece of colour clinging to the splintered and
blackened bamboo of an umbrella, a vividness somehow surviving
amidst the destruction.

This is where I immediately pick up on the entire point to this 'fic.
If I had missed this, I don't think I could've lived with myself.

Report 67-B
R Division, China Observation Post, Shanghai
Observer C-42

Now these, I like.  An outside observer to the entire situation, showing
that Ranma & Co.'s actions would have an effect on the outside world.
(were they real)  And possible reactions these outside observers would
have.  These views are made by some military observers, I assume, so
that sort of explains the... coldness? in their attitude.  I'd be
terrified were I in there shoes.

-ETE?

Extra-Terrarestrial Entity?

    There is an old woman who screams a name in her sleep, in a
hospital in China.  Shrunken and impossibly ancient, blind and
crippled by the ravages of age, she still yet refuses to die.
They take care of her there.  Her skin is only burn scars.  She
has no ears or nose or eyes.  No one knows her name.  The medical
teams found her in the burned ruins of a small village in western
Qinghai.  She was the only survivor of the attack.

Cologne?  Shouting what?  The name of this god?  Ranma's name?  Argh!  I
hate suspense!  Good use though.

    But the young man stayed the god for a time, and took back
the soul of the woman he loved and returned it to her body.  They
went back across the ocean, to the land of their birth.  In time,
they were married.

This, this I would like to see.  Plans for another work?  Can't really
be a hint of things to come in WuE, I don't think.  Based on someone
else's work?  Or just made up to suit the situation?  (Can't really be
v.38....)

C-38:  Huey is destroying Tokyo.  I still have satellite
      viewing, but that's all.  The city looks like a bomb hit
      it.  <pause>  Dear God in heaven, what is this thing?

About TIME someone had a bit of emotion...  ;)   Previous lacking is
understandable though, due to the lack of character interaction.

I think another "This is Tokyo.  See how she is fallen." line, or
something similar, would be appropriate at the end of this, just before
the end quote.  Just my opinion though.

I liked it.  Solemn.  They put up the good fight, but in the end, they
finally had to lose.  This god though, so childish.  Reminds me of the
old gods of Olympus, so human.  Anyway, I'd have to disagree with Gary
on the lines that it's a good length.  In my eye, you didn't drag the
point out, played with it, maybe.  Still good though.

-Tom