Coming to America

 

Prologue

 

    Lime looked at his opponent. He had humiliated him
before, but that was going to change. He was going to beat him. Lime raised his  fist high into the air andbrought it down for the final time.
    "Scissors!" Lime held out two fingers and saw that the monkey still
had its hand closed in front of itself. Lime grabbed his head and
yelled,"Everytime! How do youalways know what I'm going to do?!"
    "Ook," the monkey responded. Lime said,"C'mon! Just one more
game! Okay?" The monkey ooked and Lime laughed evily. He said,"Oh, I'm going to beat you this time!" He brought his fist down again.
    "Scissors!" The monkey still had its hand closed. Lime screamed in anguish and Mint said,"Shut up! I'mtrying to hear what the council is
telling Herb-sama."Mint pressed his ear up to a door and he didn't notice the figure that was standing behind him.

    The figure asked Mint,"What are you doing?"

    Mint said,"Oh, I'm listening to the council talking to  Herb-sama."      The figure said,"Really? You do realize that the meeting
was held in the room at the end of the hall, right?"

    Mint turned around and  said,"Say how would you knowtha- Uh, Herb-sama! I was just... feeling the  wood on this door."

    Mint pressed his face to the door and said,"Mmm... Mahogany."    Herb groaned and said,"Whatever. Lime get rid of that
monkey before I kill it."

     Lime whined,"But I still haven't beaten him." Herb growled and Lime grabbed the monkey and threw it out the window.
    As the monkey fell to the ground it lookedback on its life before it hit the  ground. <Why did I haveto be so goddamn curious?!>

    Herb said,"Now,  I'm sure you were interested in knowing what was spoken to me in the meeting with the council. I was told that I will enter an erranged marriage."

     Mint pulled his face from the door and asked,"Why not just kidnap some girl?"

    Herb said,"Remember the last girl you kidnaped?"

    Lime and Mint nodded their heads. How could they not forget her? She seemed actually rather fragile so they didn't really think that Herb would approve of her. But  when they had come to the palace it had started to rain. That's when the real trouble began. They were all lucky that the three headed, six armed demon woman  had lost interest in them and left. But still she had destroyed half of the castle with errant fireballs. After thewhole ordeal Lime and Mint had both said
that the girl had a lot more spirit than they originally thought. Herb had then  beat the crap out of them.

    Herb said,"Anyway the council has arranged a marriage with myself and a young heiress who lives in," Herb said the next
word withgreat contempt,"America."

    Lime and Mint jumped for a joy and they did exactly what Herb had not wanted them to do. They began to sing. Now in  history there have been some pretty awful singers, but Limeand Mint probably
topped them all.

    They sounded worse than a dozen kittens yowling, worse than a
hand scraping across a chalkboard. Hell,they even sounded worse than Rod Stewart. Lime and Mint really hadn't found much interest in singing until they went to the outside world. They had briefly stopped by a karaohke bar and that is when their love for music came about. Now Herb couldn'tgo a day without hearing their wretched voices blaring out some tunefrom the tapes that they had taken
from a music store in Japan.

    Herb was in Hell. The horrible duo bellowed out,"I like to be in America! Okay by me America! Everything free in America! Everything good in America!"

    Herb threw a chi blast at them to  make them stop and said,"I knew I shouldn't have let you two watch West Side Story."

    Lime and Mint got back up and Herb said,"Now let's get ready
and goto America. Do you two speak American?"

    Mint said,"Ah, Herb-sama they don't speak American they speak English."

    Herb narrowed his eyes and said,"Are you correcting me?"

    Mint shook his head and said,"No! They speak American!"

    Herb said,"That's what I thought. So do you two speak American?"    

    Lime said,"Yes Herb-sama. How else were we going to
figure out what they're saying on those ABBA tapes?"

    The two 'sang',"Voulez Vous! Ah ha! Take it now or leave it! Ah ha!Now is all we get! Ah ha! Nothing promised, no regrets! Voulez Vous!"

     Herb cupped his
hands over his ears and grumbled to himself,"This is going to be a long trip."