Okay, everyone, I'm sorry to say that the Evil Dead/Sailor Moon/Etc.
Crossover Fanfic won't be done in time for Halloween. I'm only 1/5th of
the way done, and haven't decided which ending to use. Gimme a couple
weeks...

However, Here's a MST!

++++++++

[Joel, Tom, Crow enter theater]

Crow: So...what's this supposed to be?

Joel: I dunno. Dr. F said that it'd be a surprise.

Tom: Let's just make this quick. I'm got trick-or-treating to do over at
Babylon 5!

Well, you wanted something scary? Here ya go!

Crow: Cologne, Gosunkugi, and 5 bottles of whipped cream!

Tom: AAAAAAACCCKK! [head starts smoking]

Joel: Crow, yuck!

Crow: Heh, heh. Clive Barker, eat your heart out.

P-Chan's Lover

Joel: ...

Tom: Oh, I get it! It's all a joke! Yeah, that's it! [hysterical] This is
all a parody, right?! Or someone's going to get HURT!!!!

Crow: You know, I promised I wouldn't scream after that last Ranma
Tentacle lemon, but what the hell. [takes deep breath]
AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGHHHH!!

Tom: Feel better, Crow?

Crow: Yeah.

Tom: Well, I don't.

Hi! I'm Toshi and I am P-Chan's lover! 

Joel: [british] I am Toshi, Lover of Pigs.

Crow: You're holding out pretty well, Joel.

Joel: Thanks.

Well, that's not true, but please let me explain. You see a few weeks
ago I changed my sex. But that will come up later in 
the story. 

Tom: You know, I'm usually complaining about shoddy narration...

Joel: I think it's a Lovecraftian way of exposing us to the horror
without crushing our minds.

Crow: Uh, Joel? Lovecraft was a cracker.

Joel: Exactly.

You see I fell in love with P-Chan on a hot summer
night in Guatemala- uh, wait that's not right. It was hot summer
afternoon in Nerima. Sorry, I get confused sometimes.

Crow: [Toshi] Ever since my electroshock therapy, things in my head just
kinda float around...  

Tom: Crow...

 Anyway I was attending Furinkan High School when I first
saw P-Chan. He was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I was 
a little worried because I was in love with a pig! But then I
told myself that it's the nineties.

Joel: Ah, yes. Toshi - braindamaged crusader for people's rights!

 I watched as P-Chan got really cozy with that-that-that bitch

Tom: Hmm. Toshi also stutters when he's angry...

Akane Tendo! How dare she act so flirtatious with my pig! 

Crow: Tomorrow on Jerry Springer: Pig Fu*kers and Their Cheating Hogs!

She set down P-Chan and left for a few minutes. That was when I jumped 
forward and grabbed P-Chan.

Joel: Uh-oh, duck for cover!

He tried to get away, but I had an iron tight grip on his rear. 

Tom:*ahem* NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I tried to calm him down by using some of my smooth lines.

Crow: Toshi's also a Funky Walker, Dirty Talker!

Joel: Crow, shut up.

Crow: Baby, I wanna roll in your mudpen!

Joel: Crow!

"I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig!" 

Tom: Ack! I had just gotten over having to watch that, too...

I could have said d'oh for telling that to a pig, but I heard 
someone alk up behind me. I turned around and saw that it was Akane and

she

looked pretty pissed!

Crow:[Akane] Bakayarou! If anyone's making Ryoga squeal, it's ME!

 She took P-Chan away from me and punched me in the nose. I fell
down on my back unconscious. I guess Akane didn't like other people
having se with P-Chan. The bitch.

Tom: Ladies and Gents, what we have here is a paragraph rife with what
fanfic writer Jamie Jeans liked to call 'Inherent Wrongness'. Please try
and avoid this, fic writers.

 After a few hours I woke up and decided to walk home. That's when I
ran into this guy who was wearing a backpack and had a bandanna tied
around his forehead. He started yelling and then beat the living crap 
out
of me. I have no idea why he was so mad. What had I ever done to him?

Crow: I'll guess that their relationship soured when you clutched his ass
and told him you were going to make him 'squeal like a pig', Toshi.

 The next day I figured out why P-Chan was so reluctant to perform
intercourse
with me. It was so obvious! We were both guys! I should have known 
that
P-Chan was a heterosexual so I went down to the local doctor and I 
changed
my sex.

Tom: What?! [dana carvey] It does NOT work that way, people!

 I then went to the Tendo dojo to reclaim what was mine. I told Akane

that

I wanted P-Chan all for myself. That's when I saw the same guy who 
had beaten
me up from the day before walk in. He immediately recognized me and 
beat the hell out of me again!  
 Now, I'm just sitting here in this hospital trying to think about 
P-Chan.
I might not have been his lover, but at least I tried.

Crow: Thank Kami you failed, man..

[J+tB leave theater]

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Captain Bungie ---- Life Is <#990000>-Colored
cthuloid vaginal phallus for hire
and current head of No Tomorrow Productions
<a href=mailto: http-www.no.tomorrow.com@juno.com>mail me</a>

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