Waiting for Minako
by DDFA (Mark A Page)
Part Fourteen - The Conversation
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene: Hades, somewhere in a dark and dingy cavern. Usagi, who has
died after receiving an arrow through her head, is talking to a
friendly wall, with arrow still planted firmly through cranium.
Usagi: Did I ever tell you about the time I had a conversation
with a field of flowers?
Wall: No, you just started talking to me, remember?
Usagi: Oh yes, how forgetful of me.... I'm not normally that
forgetful.
Wall: Must be the arrow through your head. Is that how you
died?
Usagi touches the sharp end of the arrow and winces.
Usagi: 'Fraid so.... I'm too scared to take it out.... Dunno
what would happen.
Wall: It's worth a try. It might improve your memory.
Usagi: Nah. Only one thing can improve my memory.
Usagi's eyes get all shimmery as little love hearts start dancing
around her. (probably a hangover from the hash cookies in Barking
Snout Nine).
Usagi: My Mamo-chan.... He is my light.... My energy.... My
love....
Wall: Need I remind you that you're dead and he isn't?
Usagi: Yes, well, that's a bit of a bummer, I agree.
Wall: Better pull the arrow out, then. I doubt he'll want to
continue a relationship with you with that thing still
in there.
Usagi: How will we continue a relationship with my being dead?
Wall: Dunno.... Stranger things have happened. Shades walk
all over the Earth, didn't you know?
Usagi: Nah. Never seen one. By the way, is my old mother down
here?
Wall: Hmm?
Usagi: You know.... Looks like me, excluding the fact that,
having been present when the Silver Millennium went
kablooey, she's likely to look like pate'.
Wall: Oh, you mean Queen Serenity.... Yeah, she's down here,
somewhere. Pulled herself together and runs a Nook
Parlour with Black Lady and Mistress Nine....
Usagi: What?
Wall: Yeah.... She keeps whipping people, demanding they call
her THE QUEEN....
Usagi: .....
Wall: .....
Usagi: No wonder the Silver Millennium went kablooey....
Wall: Don't be disheartened.... There is still a position
open....
Usagi: Are you suggesting I spend the rest of eternity working
in an underworld whorehouse with my MOTHER?
Wall: Well, it will be a long, boring wait, otherwise.
Usagi: .....
Wall: .....
Usagi: I wonder if the guys down here like chicks with arrows
through their head....
Wall: Could start a craze.
Usagi: .....
Wall: .....
Usagi: Don't think so.
Wall: Neither do I.
Usagi: Argh! What am I going to do?
Wall: Well, I'm not going anywhere. You could stay and talk
to me.
Usagi: What? Spend the rest of eternity talking to a wall?
Wall: Yeah.... You won't believe the interesting people who
walk by. Hey, look! There's Elvis! YO! ELVIS!
Elvis: Owzit goin', dere, Mister Wall.
Wall: Stop by some time.
Elvis: Okay.... Sankya very much.... Uhuhuh....
Usagi watches the rotund, sequin encrusted corpse walking past with
boggled eyes as it swings its hips and starts to sing "All Shook
Up".
Wall: Ah yes.... He's a real card. Been fun ever since he
turned up here....
Usagi: That's Elvis.
Wall: Yeah, no shit.
Usagi: What is he doing down here? He was supposed to be
kidnapped by aliens....
Wall: Actually, he was attacked by Iron Mouse for his star
seed.... It was shaped like a hamburger, you know?
Usagi: Hot damn!
Wall: Yeah, but she got hungry and ate it before she gave it
to Galaxia.... Tablelamp Head wasn't happy about it...
Usagi: .....
Wall: .....
Usagi: Whatever happened to those losers, anyway?
Somewhere, four young women, in various states of dress,
all vaguely resembling the human forms of a mouse, a fish, a crow and a
cat, ride in a cart being dragged by a horse through the wild
plains of the middle of nowhere.
TN: Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into.
LC: Oh shutup, at least you weren't sucked into a black hole.
TN: Hmph!
AS: Now now now, there's no point fighting over this. Its a
bit late to do anything about it.
TN: So says the dumb cow with a name like "Aluminium Siren".
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
AS: Yeah? Well at least people can work it out for
themselves. How about "Tin Nyanko", eh eh eh? Nobody
who has anything less than the most basic smattering of
Japanese in their repertoire will be able to clue that
one out. *snicker* Nyanko the Wanko!
TN: Hmph! You're just mad cos I got Galaxia to snuff ya.
AS: Indeed. The concept of "I just killed you, but let's be
friends anyway" doesn't appeal to me.
TN: Let's be friends! Let's be friends! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
AS: Crowww.... She's picking on me....
LC: Yeah you dumb bitch. You leave Siren alone.
TN: Hmmmmm.... Do I detect a little closeness between the
pair of you, eeehhhhh?
LC: B..b..bb...BAKA! What makes you think that?
IM: Don't mind me. I'm just sulking.
TN: Shutup, you!
IM: Sorry.
AS: Jeez, we'll never end up in any SM sequel movies now.
LC: What makes you say that? Isn't the series finished now?
AS: What? Bandai? Ever finish a series they can make money
from?
LC: Indeed.
TN: Hmmm.
IM: Should have finished Gundam after episode 1 of Gundam V.
AS: They DID finish Gundam after episode 1 of Gundam V. Well
and truly finished it.
IM: Some might say they finished SM after episode 1 of the
original series.
TN: Nah, that was after Chibiusa appeared.
AS: If they DID finish the series at a logical point, we'd
have never appeared.
LC: Nah. We'd have just ended up in a future volume of
Sailor V.
IM: Yeah, but some BASTARDS out there won't accept us as
being senshi!
AS: Yeah! The bloody SCUM! WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE! WE'LL 'AVE
YOU!
LC: Who are you talkin' to?
AS: Dunno. Sorry.... Don't mind me.
TN: Jeez, I hope they never dub Sailorstars.
IM: Why?
TN: I can see myself with an even wankier voice than the one
I had in Japanese....
AS: Thats what you get when you give an anime the DIC.
LC: Oooooh, Daariiiieeeen.
AS: Oooooh, Sereeeeeena.
TN: Will you two stop that. *barf*
IM: Yeah, thats Haruka and Michiru's job.
AS: But we're dead, so it doesn't matter anyway.
IM: Speak for yourself.
LC: Watch it, or you'll get a fist up the conk.
IM: Sorry.
LC: So you should be, shorty
IM: Who are you calling short?
LC: You.
IM: Oh... Well, that's alright, then....
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH, SAFFIRU, DISGUISED AS A DOOR, HAD
HIS KNOB SHOT OFF.
LC: Where did that come from?
TN: Buggered if I know.
AS: Kinky....
END OF PART 14
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Will Minako ever arrive? Where are Ami and Makoto? Is Usagi really
dead, and does this mean another round of "Usagi is Dead"? Where
are the Sailor Anima-Mates, and are they a figment of their
imaginations? For no answers to these questions, stay tuned for the
next exciting chapter of the interminable saga of Ami and Makoto in
"Waiting for Minako". The fanfic that brings new meaning to the
phrase.... "WHAT the FUCK!?!?!?!" In that order, even. ^_^
_________
/ @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page)
/ / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@merlin.net.au
/</ w \>\ Chief Propoganda Officer, Keeper of
\/ \/ the Tapes and Co-Founder of the Saitou-chan
\___________/ Appreciation Society - Adelaide Japanese
/_/ \_\ PU Animation Society
Version 1.0 - Ahm havin' a wee problem with ma Goggomobile....
That's Gee Oh Gee Gee Oh.... What? You'll have it ready by
Thursday, the 29th of October, 1998? It's a whee ripper, I tell ya.
(VOOKUM VOOKUM HALLEBROOKUM)