This was a really nicely done Ranma/Kasumi lemon. One thing that I find
frequently gets overlooked in Ranma/somebody lemons is the usage of
Ranma's girl side. Your fic did that, and showed that Kasumi didn't mind
it at all.

That part where Ranma and Kasumi ended up at the lesbian nightclub had me
ROTFL.

Just one thing which stuck out glaringly at me; the usage of male pronouns
even when Ranma is in female form. Especially since this is a
lemon...doesn't this line sound kinda weird:

up against HIS soft, curvy frame, nuzzling at HIS breasts for a moment,

The usage of the female pronoun also makes it easier for the reader to
ascertain what form Ranma is currently in. Personally I find fics told
from the perspective of a character (rather than a neutral narrarator) are
harder to follow/less clear and its harder to keep track of everything
that's going on (e.g. Ranma changing forms); using the female pronouns
when Ranma is female would really help here.

BTW, your quotes showed up as strange characters...there should be an
option in whatever word processor is using to make it use normal quotes
(aka turn off smart quotes)...or perhaps try saving in "MS-DOS Text"
format as opposed to just Text.

-Philip Mak (pmak@cs.dal.ca)
http://is2.dal.ca/~pmak/ukyou.html and shampoo.html
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