[FFML] The Lemon: The FFML's Finest News Source

Issues od characterzation over the popular series Ranma 1/2 have gone on for years on the fan fiction mailing list. Now, there is definitive proof that everyone is right in their assumptions of characteriztions.

Volume 39 of Ranma 1/2 has just been released in Japan and shows that every person who has made an argument over characterization is correct. "This book clearly shows that Ukyo is in fact an angel and is Ranma's best friend. It feels so good to be vindicated at last," William Myler a Tennessee native and member of the Fanfiction Mailing List said about the newest volume.

The tolm also details such startling facts as the revealtion that Akane is a psychopathic killer, Shampoo wants to get beat up by Mousse, and that Ryouga has always loved Ukyo and has absolutely no feelings for Akari. Also revealed were that Ranma is a lesbian trapped in a man's body, Kasumi is a brain surgeon and Soun is a caring and loving parent.

Even though this volume of the series does contradict past events the previous 38 volumes of the manga can be used as reference material and are also correct.

Despite the fact that everyone is right does not however stop any arguments. Nicholas Leifker, who is sueing the paper for printing his name said,"On page fifty-nine it shows Ryouga mercilessly beating four helpless school children. This clearly shows that he is a psychopathic killer. Why have you not considered using this information in the fanfics you write you you hypocrite."

Gary Kleppe, who is also sueing the paper for printing his name said,"I'm afraid that you may be confused. Those children were later revealed to be midget wrestlers hired by Ranma to kill Ryouga so that he could win the hand of Ukyo."

"I'm sick and tired of people saying that all lemons are are pointless and OOC," said a man who in all likelihood reads pornographic magazines.

"What about well written lemons like Ranma 0.05?" said the pervert who probably masturbates frequently,"Or lemons like Aikan Muyo? Why are these lemons never mentioned?"

"And even when there is a lot graphic sex in stories like The Shikima Interface, but still maintains loving relationships and has an interesting story," said the Hentai.

The man who has a constant tug of war with cyclops finished,"It just doesn't make sense why people can't see that there is more to lemon stories than just sex."

David Kenny was a fanfiction writer who portrayed Ukyo in a bad light in one of his works. He was executed this morning.

"Mr. Kenny violated Article 15 of the Fanfiction Code whereby an author shall not show Ukyo as being anything less than perfect," Agent Wexler of Fanfiction Bureau of Investigations said. "Just because we never published the rules of fanfiction writing is no excuse for what this writer did and what any other writer does."

Some empathy was shown towards the now dead author. "I'm kind of sad that he's dead, but nobody should rag on Ucchan. That's just wrong," one member of the FFML said about the event.

"There are crimes so heinous that they cannot be tolerated," Agent Wexler said,"Like showing no empathy for a psycopathic Ranma and writing parodies."

The Lemon has been one of the finest periodicals to ever have been published on the subject of the fan fiction mailing list. I can safely say this because there are no other periodicals published on the subject of the fanfiction mailing list.

This paper started well over a hundred years ago and has kept up the tradition of reporting the weekly events of the FFML with pride and dignity. That traditon must be stopped.

Now, I know that you may be shocked to hear this, but I am selling The Lemon to a group of business men who want it to be turned into a report on the activities of the wealthy and powerful. I of course agreed for several reasons.

One: I am a rich and powerful man. I would need this newspaper to keep track of everything that I do.

Two: The Lemon makes only a little more than %200 profit which can not support my recent opium addiction. By selling out I will be able to buy as much of the wonderful drug as humanly possible.

Do not worry because I will continue to publish my other newspaper The Onion. Until that proves to be unprofitable.