"Alan Harnum" <harnums@hotmail.com> wrote:

       The steady hum of the microwave ended with the ring of the 

bell.

Hikaru stepped across the cramped one-room apartment and removed the 

TV

dinner from the oven, cautiously inspecting the steaming food items. 

The

potatoes felt a bit rubbery and the corn was brownish-colored, but 

all

in all it would be okay with some salt and pepper for flavor. It was 

a

change from instant ramen, anyway.

In that it tasted awful, whereas instant ramen is Food of the Gods?

Nope. Both tasted awful, but this one was a new and different kind of
awful. :)

Okay, I'd like to officially declare if anyone ever writes 
"Rosemary's Baby 1/2" I will be forced to respond in kind by writing
something like... I don't know, "Waters Under Earth : The Musical".
Yes, that sounds sufficiently horrid.

Wouldn't bother me. I already suggested to Krista that she write a
skating musical version of her series. If Hearts ON Ice ever comes out,
you'll know who to blame.

No... Must... Resist....

BTW, did you know that you can rearrange "Ranma Saotome" to read, "More 
Satan, Mao?"  This means something, I know it does....

       "My name is Yuka. I live on the second floor." She showed an 

ID

card.

       "Yes, I think I've seen you before." He motioned for her to 

go

in.

And an immense groaning sound was heard throughout the entire 
universe.  

Wow, didn't know I had that many readers....

And now, of course, I can't get that #$^&ing song out of my head....

       "You like Akane, do you? Ever spend your time just thinking
about what it would be like to be close to her? Those lips, those 

legs,

those huge...."

Eyes?  Mallets?  What, what, don't trail off, it was getting 
interesting...

He was going to say "... martial arts skill levels."

Ah, c'mon Gary!  You know perfectly well that Happi doesn't care about 
girls' MA skills.  Obviously, he was refering to the size of her... 
firecrackers.

       "Sweetie!" Happosai suddenly appeared on stage, grabbing onto
Liang and fondling her breasts. The cheers of the audience changed to
startled gasps.

Hmm... shouldn't that sentence be "the cheers of the audience of
drunken male college students increased tenfold"?

Nah, they were outraged that Happy got to do it and they didn't.

Not to mention the fact that he was blocking their view.

       Ranma was inside. Hikaru had seen him with that woman 

walking,

followed them here, and watched them go in the house. He didn't know 

for

sure why they had come here, but he could guess.

The second sentence starts a little confusingly.  You might be better 
off beginning "Hikaru had seen him walking with that woman, followed
them..."

Yeah, that does sound better.

"Hikaru had seen him with that woman walking,
 Had seen the boy whom he was stalking,
 Had failed to overhear them talking,
 Talking as they walked to house in need of caulking.
 He asked aloud, 'Does this mean Akane might come to me?'
   Quoth the piglet, 'Bu-kee!'"

I think we can all be greatful I don't have my unabridged copy of Poe's 
works availible.  There's no telling how far I might have tried to take 
that, otherwise....

Beyond that, I remember not being too keen on this chapter the
first time I read it, but on a second reading, I really began to
like it; there is a sense of low-key sadness to Hikaru's story that
is very powerful at times.  Not the same level of emotional drama as
the death of Cologne in Prelude Six, but deeply effective all the
same.  I think it's mostly because he doesn't get anything even
resembling a happy ending, except for his realization about not
wanting to become like Happosai... Despite having some of the
funnier jokes in the series so far (I cracked up at the "I live on
the second floor" one), this one ultimately left me feeling very sad.

It's sad, but in some sense I think of it as a victory for Gos -- in a
moral sense. In any case, his story's far from over, and we'll see what
happens to him in HaM.

You know, I can't help but feel a sense of dread when I consider his 
likely fate.  In the roleplaying game TORG, players could drop "subplot" 
cards that gave them extra advantages in exchange for story-related 
problems.  The harshest of these was "Martyr", which nearly guaranteed 
the character's death by the end of the current adventure, but let them 
be sure of doing at least one thing right in the meantime.  That's the 
feeling I got from Gos signing up to help.

OTOH, if he tells them what he has to be feeling to generate a chi 
burst, maybe they'll give him an Amazon for, ahem, moral support.

Nice work as usual, Gary.  Keep it up.

Thanks! As always, I greatly appreciate the commentary.

Hmmm... It seems like the curse is broken.  None of the give-and-take 
inspired a SPAMfic, although a few attempts were made.  Nothing would 
pan out, however.  Just to see what will happen, though, I'll throw out 
the title ideas that did occur to me:

"Nerima in the Summer of Love"
"The Kunou Syndrome"
"Ukyou's Baby"

--Freemage

BTW, Gary, good stuff.  I agree that this had less of the zing that some 
of the other chapters had, but in a way, that's probably because of the 
fact that so much of the impact of the events shown here (Hikaru's 
decision, Ranma's seduction) won't hit until later chapters.


--Freemage

Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics

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